First Impression: A woman meeting a man who now own her family estate. You feel her disappointment and I had to read more. I was curious of how old he was, is he married, a possible romance so the woman can get the estate back. Looked like an interesting story. Some good characters possibly and I had to read more so I zeroed in to read this.
What needs your attention: What year is this? What country or state does this take place in? The paragraphs and dialogue should be double spaced because the sentences and words all run together and it is hard to read and follow. I could tell this story has good potential.
What part I liked best: I like the name Tabitha. I like the idea of this being a rich family and I am fascinated by the ton and upper class people. Talking about the seaside sounds nice. I can deal with that.
Overall Impression: I know this a sample that you shared. We didn't meet the gentleman caller yet. I do hope the young woman gets the estate back. This story had good potential and the characters seem to fit. I hope for a happy ending.
The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore do not reflect necessarily to the group and or/ event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It was my pleasure
First Impression: A little girl feeding ducks. Robots. Nanny Bot. A story with robots draws the reader in. This peeked my interest. I had to check this out and I was curious. Strawberry. I wondered how a strawberry would play into this story. I stepped in and started reading. I figured this would be a good story. I am here.
What needs your attention: Double space when you start a new line of dialogue so you don't run words and sentences into each other. The cone is $1,20. Shouldn't this be $1.20? Harpie Doll Nannie Bot. Is this another Nanny of the little girl Susie or the same Nannie? Why did the nanny turn into strawberry ice cream?
What part I liked best: Nanny Bot turned into strawberry ice cream. The little girl was eating chocolate ice cream and got all messy. The little girl feeding the ducks is cute.
Overall Impression: Was this outer space? Is this story on earth? Was it a crime to eat chocolate instead of strawberry? Well rounded characters and good dialogue. This holds the reader's interest. I was happy to read this.
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work.
First Impression: I am reading about a bear and a Boy Scout Troop. I was a Girl Scout so I am interested in stories about Boy Scouts. I like bears so I was drawn to this. I figured it would hold my interest. It didn't disappoint. The woods make for a good setting. I like Smokey, the Bear. I saw the real Smokey, the Bear when I was a kid at the zoo. I was ready to read this.
What needs your attention: I thought Smokey the bear was really there. It was a head of a bear and this was confusing for me. It was a joke on the one Scout Master. I was hoping for a real bear and I didn't want anyone to get hurt. I just wanted a nice black bear to visit. Maybe a real bear could appear but just run off but keep the joke bear head in the story.
What part I liked best: The man laughing and saying they could teach the bear to use a rake. Well rounded characters and suitable dialogue. A god style and this holds the reader's interest. The guy thinking it was a decapitated bear. There is some humor here. I like that.
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It was my pleasure.
First Impression: Getting an Easter Basket is so nice for kids to wake up to. They wonder what they will get. This kid didn't get what he had hoped for and is afraid his parents will blame him. I was drawn to this because of it being Easter. I had to read more. So, I went forward and started reading.
What needs your attention: The mice stayed in the attic for another year. Looks like the mice stayed another year. Did they steal Christmas gifts as well? What did the parents think happen to the goodies in the easter Basket? This is one paragraph. It should have been written into two paragraphs. It would have been easier to see.
What part I liked best: The mice living in the attic. The boy thinking the Easter Bunny is like Santa Claus. He knows everything. The concept of getting an Easter basket is always nice.
Overall Impression: This holds the reader's interest. When animals are added to a story, it makes for a good story. Mice have taken Easter goodies more then once, I am sure. Randy is a well rounded character. You understand his fears and disappointment. A well written story.
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It was my pleasure.
"Invalid Item"
A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos,
Hi Spidey
My name i Megan, one of the sly foxes.
Title: Cnotes for Strength
First Impression: A person feels down and goes through problems of losing loved ones and need strength and courage so I saw these and decided to review this. The words used are cheery and uplifting as well as enlightening. Big snow drifts and considering calling it a challenge instead of a crisis. A good way to think of a crisis. I liked what I seen and decided to look at these.
What needs your attention: The lines: Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing to do but to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fall apart, that's true strength. A great verse but I thought this should have a picture like a person on top of a mountain looking down. There wasn't a picture for this one. It was outlined in blue.
Overall Impression: The pictures are pretty. The flowers, raindrops, water, fireworks and icebergs are neat with words of encouragement. These are neat. Putting the pictures and verses together took some thought. These are real neat and anyone would be happy to receive one. Great selection.
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It has been my pleasure.
Nicely written details and a good word flow. Stones of love, bright stones, stones of peace and mercy. My husband bought me home a prayer stone. Lovely reflections and some good words of wisdom. Your devotion to God and Jesus shows. This is uplifting and inspiring. Beautifully crafted. Always; Megan
First Impression: I am a hopeless romantic so I was drawn to this item. Falling in love. It comes with fears, hopes and anxieties. You expressed them well here. Maya Angelou impresses you and she does me as well. Another reason I decided to read and review this. You took time to express your views and romance. Good call.
What needs your attention: I was hoping these would be numbered about counting the ways you love this person. You say you are falling in love with him. What exact moment or what did he say or do to make you realize hey, you really love this person without a doubt. How does he feel about you?
What part I liked best: Closing your eyes when being kissed. Hearing old familiar things in new ways because you are with someone you love. Making a promise to face all possibilities and love sets us free.
Overall Impression: You feel that when it comes to love that you got this. You expressed the reasons why you love this person. This poem doesn't rhyme but it doesn't need to. Well structured, well rounded words get your thoughts on paper. The love is there. A good style and nice reflections. Easy to follow. I enjoyed reading this. A delightful, beautiful love prose.
Image #2315532 over display limit. -?-
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/ or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It has been my pleasure.
First Impression: Flowers. Mystery. Suspense. Demons. Looks like this story has something for everyone. A quiet place in the country. It seems peaceful and harmless but I know by the description telling about the story, that it won't be. I was curious. A nice letter of invite with good reflections. A room that is ready. A vacation in a nice location. I had to go forward and read more.
What needs your attention: Double space when starting a new sentence of dialogue or a paragraph. You called the one man a gent. I was thinking maybe use the word Gentleman. Was the house huge, fancy or run down? The land around it seems like it needs some help.
What part I liked best: The characters seem nice but spooky. I like that this takes place in the country. I like the idea of this story having a mystery and the main character is caught up in it.
Overall Impression: I got chills as I read this and I am asking what is the mystery? What happened next? Will something or someone jump out of the flowers? A good style and this holds the reader's interest. I felt like I was here. Good introduction.
Image #2315532 over display limit. -?-
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and or/event being affiliated here in. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to review your work. It has been my pleasure.
"The Iron Bank of Braavos"
A Review From The Iron Bank Of Braavos
Hi Lexi Silver
My name is Megan. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: The Bentleys Chapter 1
First Impression: Mice. I thought oh no. I read they live like humans but are rich and I thought this could be cute and entertaining. I was interested. I thought I will give this a shot. Maybe I will see mice in a better light. I started to read this and I like this nice mice family. Good descriptions and I was drawn in. I felt like a guest in this mouse house. The first sentence. The Bentleys were not your average mice. That was my invitation.
What needs your attention: I wondered why the mouse salesman was stuttering. A mouse lawyer. Did humans have cases against mice or vice versa? Did humans know about the rich mice? Were they field mice? Were they white, black or what colors? I am curious. Did a cat live near by? Were the mice safe from owls?
Overall Impression: This mice family lives better then I do. A rich mouse family. Easy to follow with a good style. Good dialogue. They do talk like humans. I live in a house in the country and see field mice but if mice could live like this. I could accept them. Looks like you spent time with this. Creative and I see there is a chapter two and I would enjoy the next chapter. The lawyer mouse and salesman mouse were arguing. This makes me curious. Well defined writing and definitely worth a read. I enjoyed reading this and I thank you for sharing.
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated here in. This only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.
First Impression: I like ghost stories and when I saw this, I was anxious to read this. I noticed this needs some adjustments. I was hoping for more.
What needs your attention: You wrote three chapters. Three sentences do not make a chapter. Good descriptions of the house but did the sounds like that came from the house? Was there an owl in a tree hooting? Was there fog? Was there a full moon or scary moon? This would add excitement and scary elements to the story that makes you feel like you are there with Sarah. to the story. Was there laughter? Seeing a ghost family in Chapter 3. Good concept. If there is more to come, it should be added after Chapter 3. Better yet, just make Chapters 1, 2 and 3 all included in Chapter 1. Sarah helped the lost souls through tears and towards peace. Show don't tell. How did Sarah help the ghost family? What did she say? What did they say? What era is that? What is the background of the ghosts? How did they die? Did they ask the main character for help? It would be nice to know what transpired.
What part I liked best: I like the concept of ghosts and that Sarah saw the ghosts. I like the idea of a dilplidated house being in the hills, in a small town. There were whispers of ghosts living in the house.
Overall Impression: This story has good potential and with the suggestions I mentioned and your imagination, this will be a good story that others will enjoy.
The views and opinions ion this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work.
Nicely written details and a good word flow. A neat retelling of The Night Before Christmas. Malls are always so crowded at Christmas. A good scenario and nice style. Easy to follow. A neat rhyme pattern puts the words in motion and rounds this out with a good flair. Cheery. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and a good word flow. Anniversaries are so nice. Some cherished words here and heartfelt words. Neat romantic sentiments and overtures. Roots of a tree. Being a shelter from a storm. Well chosen words and creative. Good reflections. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and fireworks would be missed. They are pretty and a good celebration thing. They can be dangerous and scare dogs and livestock. Easy to follow with a good style. Some good reflections,. A neat rhyme pattern rounds this out with a good flair. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and I like cowboys even though I haven't met one. I just see them on TV Shows like Heartland and Yellowstone. Easy to follow and I want to sing I'm from the country and I like it that way. A good play on words and this is creative. A neat scenario. A neat rhyme pattern blends the words together and rounds this out with a good flair. I enjoyed reading this. Well defined. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and we rub a Budha's belly for luck or knock on wood. A good scenario and easy to follow. The words play out well. Looks like you spent time with this. A good style and easy to follow. A neat rhyme pattern puts the words in motion. Some good reflections. I enjoyed reading this poem. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and good reflections. Sometimes, words aren't enough to express our thoughts. Creative and colorful. A nice style and this holds the reader's interest. I just lost my father and this hit home. Heart warming. A good presentation. Best wishes. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and a good word flow. Easy to follow and Vets should remembered and honored. Politicians. I have nothing nice to say about them. A neat rhyme pattern puts the words in motion and rounds this out with a good flair. Some good reflections. Thanks for sharing. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and a good hearted man helping a woman Goddess trapped in a stone. Well rounded characters and the Goddess is corrupt like politicians. A good style and this holds the reader's interest. Creative and colorful. Some good action and drama. This holds the reader's interest. Scary but interesting. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and a good word flow. In the dark, we think things happen because we aren't able to see them. I think that. Night seems like hidden things come out to scareus. I like your views and outtake on things. A good style and creative. Easy to follow. A good presentation . Always: Megan
A reporter got too nosey and aliens took care of him. Good descriptions about aliens. Easy to follow and a good style. This holds the reader's interest. Creative and colorful. Looks like you spent time with this. This holds the reader's interest. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and I guess marriage isn't for everyone. A man who refused to touch a pibk donut. A man who kept going back for refills. Dressed like a cowboy. I could handle that. Interesting characters. Creative and colorful and easy to follow. Looks like these dates aren't good husband material. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Seems like singers do a lot of shows to het discovered. Nicely written details and a this holds the reader's interest. Troubadour. George Strait sings a song about a Troubadour. Creative and colorful. Easy to follow. A good style. A neat rhyme pattern puts the words in motion and rounds this out with a good flair. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
When the snow first falla, it is pretty. It gets slippery and no longer looks pretty. A good imagery picture to startvout with. Nicely written details and a good word flow. Easy to follow. Jack Frost. You wonder if he is real. Creative and colorful. I enjoyed reading this. Always: Megan
Nicely written details and a good word flow. Surfers are brave. Those high waves scare me. Some good action. Nest imagery and good descriptions. Looks like you spent time with this and put some thought into this. A good style and this holds the reader's interest. Thanks for sharing. Always: Megan
Allison being a fashion model and marrying a rich man and it all comes crashing down. Nicely written details and good characters. A neat scenario. Easy to follow. Allison marries again and still struggles. This holds the reader's interest. A neat rhyme pattern blends the words together and sums this up with a good flair. Thanks for sharing. Always: Megan
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