*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tobe1987/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
444 Public Reviews Given
446 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am going to be working on my reviews being more thorough in the coming weeks. I am honest and love to give positive feed back.
Favorite Genres
Drama, Spiritual, Romance, family
Least Favorite Genres
Horror
Favorite Item Types
short stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 ... Next
126
126
Review of Where's Mommy ?  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Greetings {user: }! I am sending you a review of your story, {item: }. This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg* WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: On behalf of the Newbies Academy and the Review Raid

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION:Very sad, being a mother myself I worry about leaving my kids.

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED: The sorrow in the story, the moral that you shouldn't take time with loved ones for granted.

*Bulletg*STORY LINE The story line went rather quickly for me.

*Bulletg*NUTS & BOLTS: This story moves too fast for my liking. it's a really good idea I think it just needs to be added too. More detailed descriptions. Maybe more of an interaction between mother and son. These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.

*Starg*OVERALL IMPRESSION: Good story. Keep writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
127
127
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings laughter19 ! I am sending you a review of your story, "Cat's Don't Eat Shoelaces" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg* WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: ON behalf of the Newbies Academy and the Review Rain

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION: I love cats!

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED: The details you put into the cat himself and his struggle.

*Bulletg*CHARACTERS: The narrator is a great personality; the cat is even better

*Bulletg*NUTS & BOLTS: I didn't see anything that needed changed. These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.

*Starg*OVERALL IMPRESSION: Really great short piece. Happy writing
128
128
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings PandaLover ! I am sending you a review of your story, "The Cowboy that Saved me. " . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg* WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: On behalf of the Newbies Academy and the Review Raid

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION: I'm not big on stories starting out with dialogue but I gave it a shot.

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED: The emotion in Lisa about her deceased boyfriend Mark

*Bulletg*HOOK: I just want to know who she will end up with!

*Bulletg*CHARACTERS: They all seem very genuine. I liked them all, even Anthony.

*Bulletg*STORY LINE: Not bad but I think the way Lisa is narrating through some of the story is a little misplaced.

*Bulletg*NUTS & BOLTS: There were a few misspellings I saw but nothing a good read threw wouldn't catch. These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.

*Starg*OVERALL IMPRESSION: Good story, just needs a little work. Good luck!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
129
129
Review of untitled  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Greetings Miss B ! I am sending you a review of your story, "untitled" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg* WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: ON behalf of the Newbies Academy and the Review Raid

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION: When I opened the tab for this story I was going to close it because of the huge block of words. (I'm glad I didn't)

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED:The sincerity in the authors voice. The hope of a true love.

*Bulletg*HOOK: I was mesmerized after about three lines. This is the kind of love everyone wants.

*Bulletg*NUTS & BOLTS: After the first sentence I was a little confused who was talking as the sentences seem to be choppy and unfinished thoughts. Also as I mentioned above, readers don't want to open to one big block of words, space it out a little. These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.

*Starg*OVERALL IMPRESSION: I was captured by your story. Love is an amazing thing *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
130
130
Review of The Way Out  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings LCCooper ! I am sending you a review of your story, "The Way Out" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg* WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: In behalf of the Newbies Academy and the review raid

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION: This was not what I was expecting but I'm glad I took the short time to read it.

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED:I have not read many or perhaps not any story about the birth of a child from the babies point of view. I often wonder what it would be like if I could remember being born and this is a pretty accurate account I would imagine.

Great work and keep it up!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
131
131
Review of The Epiphany  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Burney ! I am sending you a review of your story, "The Epiphany" . This review reflects my opinion only, and I am not a writing expert. I do hope you find something that is interesting or helpful to you.

*Bulletg*WHY I AM REVIEWING THIS ITEM: I am reviewing on behalf of the Newbies Academy and The Review Raid.

*Bulletg* FIRST IMPRESSION: Sadness.

*Thumbsup*WHAT WORKED: The idea that someone can take some bad things that happen to them and make a better life for themselves

*Bulletg*HOOK: The inspiration at the end when he survived and wants to make is life better.

*Bulletg*CHARACTERS: Good characterization for such a short piece.

*Bulletg*STORY LINE: The reader can only imagine what the back story is to this character but I think sometimes mote then once in our lives we experience such pain that we want to end our lives.

*Bulletg*NUTS & BOLTS: I found nothing wrong with this story. You did a great job! These are odds and ends that I present for your consideration. My goal is to help make your writing stronger, but it is up to you what will work for your story.

*Starg*OVERALL IMPRESSION: Inspirational indeed and hopefully saves someone from jumping to their doom. Maybe they can see that they don't need to go that far to have an epiphany.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
132
132
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I like this story and am very consumed in the story line. What caused this woman to cheat? Who are these two people seemingly so in lust or perhaps love?

A few things that caught my eye while reading was ..." from the golden dusk window..." I re-read this a couple times and I'm not sure if it is word confusion or it was meant to say something else or perhaps a kind of window, or I just didn't read it right but it seems a little wrong.

Also when describing "a fluttering mess of butterflies" It may read better as "a mess of fluttering butterflies"

Your characters are great and I have no problem there, the scene is set perfectly.

Great work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
133
133
Review of Dear Diary  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am generally a fan of diary stories and I enjoyed this one as well. It is a little shirt and I would love to read more.
134
134
Review of Ocean Boy  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked the imagery in this poem. The world almost seen through eyes of the sand castle. I didn't see anything wrong with it and I enjoyed reading it. Also, I couldn't help but notice the copyright as almost three years ago. I look forwards to reading some of your other work.
135
135
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this poem to be extremely deep. Although I'm not really sure what it is about. Is the author truly dreaming in a nighttime slumber or is this something deeper. A coma perhaps? the only grammatical error I saw was "In this mess, many call in life," should be many call it life. Other than that perfect. Good luck in your contest!
136
136
Review of Attention Adults  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I liked this poem more then I thought. I am in that odd stage of being an adult with adult responsibilities, or maybe I just want to be there. I am a mother of two children, buying my own home, own my car, have a job. I think being an adult takes more than age and experience. I do however, judge quickly escpecially young men and women who spend their nights drinking and smoking when not of age, and complaining when they get caught or in some serious trouble with law enforcement. Maybe this makes me more of an adult? I do know some of us shouldn't judge so quickly but we have all been there, doing stuff before we were ready. You seem like you will grow up to be a good citizen and human being. keep going on with your talent of writing!
137
137
Review of Leave Me Be  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
In a dark way I liked this poem. It's very teen-ish for lack of a better word. I guess emo. I think most of us have been in this situation and line of thought at some point in our lives, I know I have. I think it's promising for something like this to be written, maybe others who read it will know they are not alone in feeling this way. Good piece of work. Keep writing.
138
138
Review of Autumn Trees  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked the end of this poem, not because the wife ended up leaving but because it teaches a lesson to take care of your spouse and even though I don't know what happened that made her leave I can speculate. It took me a minute to get into the poem, I had to re-read a couple of places and even break out dictionary.com (how embarrassing). In the end I learned some new words and enjoyed your poem.
139
139
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This story is really great one because I love cats and currently don't have one but I have told my husband when we do get one I want to adopt an older cat. Anyway your story touched me and I am glad you came back from your break to write this. The only correction that I saw was this line " Grace’s family was Princess" I think the word "In" is missing, other than that great job!
140
140
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am hooked. This story seems so unique with someone who can read minds, and that it seems she cannot control what she hears which leads to many options for a plot. Will it come to be that she will be able to control her unique ability? What happens in the meeting? I'm eagerly awaiting answers like next weeks episode of NCIS (one of my favorite shows). I have no tips or constructive criticism, just keep going!
141
141
Review of Settle Down  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a very nice piece, the only thing I was unsure of was the line "Different beliefs, different in goals" I think it would flow better if it was either Different IN beliefs, different in goals, or just omit the "in". Other then that I thought it was very well written. Sorry I don't have a very detailed review, I am working on my poetry reviews. Also, welcome to the site! If you have any questions about anything check out "Noticing Newbies" everyone is super helpful.
142
142
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I think everyone expects the ending to something like this to be the mother realizing what a horrible person she has been to her son and what should have been her daughter in law. I was disappointed at the end when the two split, but then again, I would have left a man if his mother was a crazy psychopath. Unless of course he would agree to move far away from her. This story hit the nail on the head for the prompt. Even though I love a happy ending this one was a realistic and very good one. Good luck in the Cramp!
143
143
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello, I wanted to send you a friendly greeting since I see you are only a couple days old to the website. I myself have only been a member since August and it's truly amazing. I like this little window into who you are and where you are going. I have found out things and tapped into my own creative mind with all the different prompts on the site. Congrats for joining and taking steps to make yourself happy! Hope to see you around!
144
144
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello, I have read about the group and I love what you are about and what you do. I would love to be a part of this please :)
145
145
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked this story; it makes you reflect and think on your life and think about your actions in the future. In a fictional sense it leaves the unanswered question of what did Angela do to lose her best friends trust and friendship? I have my own thoughts but without knowing more about the characters it's hard to say. Thanks for the read!
146
146
Review of My granny  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is one of the few poems I have reviewed. The title is what lead me to read it and skip over so many other ones. I had a good relationship with one of my grandmothers who ended up living with us the last couple years of her life and as I take it from your poem yours is still with you I hope and know you don't take her for granted. Thanks for the read.
147
147
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
This is a good concept for a story but it seems like it can be built on. The spacing makes it a little hard to read as the words get jumbled together. Then perhaps you can give a little more detail to when Allie is walking the dogs, and comes across the grumpy old man. Then the ending seems so abrupt, perhaps if you added some memories of Allie and Callie together before her death it would help readers connect more with the story. Hope this helps!
148
148
Review of God's Choice  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great story and it would be such a great learning tool for children they would learn about God, the seasons, and what times they come in the year. I really enjoyed reading this.
149
149
Rated: E | (3.5)
What a cute story :) I really enjoyed it and it read like a kids book. I have read a couple of children's stories and they just don't seem authentic, this one I enjoyed and could see myself reading it to my kids. The only thing was the weird "a" that should have been quotation marks. I'm not sure why it happened when you loaded your story but once that's finished it will be much easier on the eyes to read. Good writing!
150
150
Review of Austin Parks  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
This is a good start. I enjoyed the characters. It needs some more details and I was thinking the dialogue needs a little work but I suppose they are teenage boys. I am interested to see where this story will lead. Will Austin run away? Will he move in with Trey and his family or someone else or do nothing? I will await for more.
161 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 7 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tobe1987/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6