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Public Reviews
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351
351
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I know because of my experience the importance of keeping track of things in a very long piece of writing. The paragraphs before the calendar are good reminders of why planning or documenting as you write is helpful in preventing errors. The calendar is a very nice guide so that participants can follow each assignment and revisit it as needed. I yearn to participate, but life responsibilities and WdC stuff keep me too busy. Maybe I can visit this calendar another time a few months or so from now and use it to help me create a book of some Ideas I have. All-year availability of this calendar would be a priceless and precious gift.

Thank you for writing, for creating the NaNo Prep Challenge, and for sharing this word art with WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
352
352
Review of At Dawn  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I chuckled at the being in jail part of your poem, many thanks. I could visualize the adventure, antics, and tail lights. Characters are interesting and believable. It seems adventure and partying is the thing. I enjoyed reading about the actions of chill playing on the cheek and the idea of a pail bark. When I read about the bark, I thought about a dog. I enjoy nature and adventures and your poem presented both which kept me wanting ti read.

Adding action/adventure or drama for example to replace contest entry would help potential readers find your poem.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
353
353
Review of Tears  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I could see you sitting at your desk, the tears running down your cheeks and falling onto your desk. My guess is sometimes people get overwhelmed with life and simply need to let it all out. Knowing you have a special person to be with you during this challenge and others was a relief. I'm glad you are not completely alone.

The tears [of] your cheeks should be [off] or depending on the structure of your poem story running down your cheeks.

Biographical as a genre for your poem would apply because it is about you, drama genre would work for this dramatic piece, experience because it is your experience written about in the poem, friendship because of your friend/person, and possibly some other genre. Having all three categories will help readers find your poem when the search WdC for something to read.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
354
354
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your story reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. I enjoyed the characters and events. They are believable. I would have enjoyed reading this more if emotions were shown inside and outside the characters. What outward signs of emotion did they have? Clenched fists of anger, shaking because of the love they felt, or was it because of rage, or some other reaction? Did they have tingling blood cursing through their vanes as it heated and their love grew?

In your opening sentence you used the word [was] which is past tense. Does this mean she didn't have this home when this story began? Your first sentence could be more dramatic and have a greater impact by reducing the words, rearranging them, and adding much stronger words. For example: I would start with the main character, explain where she lives, and then add in the relationships between her and her family members. I would also consider these questions: what is the importance of each item/situation in the story? What moves the story forward; makes it interesting and adds to the events/characters/scenes? Emotions show realism to what is happening. What do they feel inside and how do they express their feelings on the outside? Gestures such as facial expressions, body movement, or voice inflections?

I wonder about the village and its beauty or specialness. How does each character respond to their environment? What did Kaori consider before ending her life or who ended her life? Was her marriage so awful that she or someone else reacted in such a violent manner?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members. You gave me a lot to think about.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
355
355
Review of V-Day  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Crap is right to a degree and yes, it is a money waster, but people do enjoy this excuse for spending their hard-earned money. I agree with you because I believe it is more important to share time, talent, and affection toward a person, valentine or in other situations special someone, family, and friends. Everyone will die unless God plucks them off the earth body included. We can not take anything with us. Things deteriorate. We are what we have as far as companionship is concerned. I have yet to enjoy a conversation with tools or kitchen appliances, but I have enjoyed the company of people. You have a good point of view that makes cents to me--a penny saved is a penny earned.

My first thought for this unique writing is to add [dark] to the genres. This would help potential readers especially those who are looking for dark types of stories and poetry to find this word art.

I would consider the opposite point of view because people like things, like giving things, and when they can not think or do something more personal and have to rely on comercialism/possessonsisms...well what else is there to write?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
356
356
Review of Dennis  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I guess Bill might be in someone else's doghouse. I could hear and see the characters as they discussed Dennis. Of course with that name, who knows what else will happen.

To expand this story should you choose to do so, you could write about possible solutions for curbing Dennise's chewing adventure. Perhaps suggesting a crate that would keep him safe and secure. Chew toys and bones that are dog-safe. Going for walks. Playing with the dog.

You could change [other] to action/adventure because there is a lot of chewing going on and other doggie and human interactions/responses. Family because the dog is often considered a family member.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
357
357
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading your poem because the words married well together and worked smoothly, and told the story of "love" of the mind more than the heart but in the end emphasized that love is in the heart and from the heart. I agree with the idea that love is being molested because of the commercial uses for promoting many things in this day and age.

I noticed you used other as one of the genres and had an option of adding a third. Potential readers will be able to find your poem better when you add two more genre options. [Emotional] works because love evokes emotion. Experience will work because this is an emotion someone experiences. [Personal] and [relationship] could work for this poem also.

When you used {love was a prize} did you mean it is not anymore, or did you mean it is misused?

I had to look up [banal] because it is a word I did not know about. Would you please consider creating a drop note for the definition of this word so that readers who do not know its meaning can stay in your poem and not need to search for the meaning.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
358
358
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem told a story I did not know about but it is believable and as it has been said truth is stranger than fiction. I could imagine Samual Adams in court in his argyle suit arguing his case.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
359
359
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the kindness your story shows through the storyteller, Micha. The plot, scenes, characters, and setting are believable because they relate to real-life events. I can understand and visualize your story easily.

The possibilities of adding to this story are possible. I hope you will consider creating more story information.

Genres that would help potential readers find this story could be drama because it is a drama about people's lives and how they are affected by events, emotional because your story has emotions included and could have more as it is expanded, friendship because it tells about friends helping, inspirational, or other genres.

KNOCKED OUT: why by what or who? This is a possible means for expanding your story by explaining about the situation. Showing emotions and actions will add to the realism.

[I showed up to his room] You could rearrange this sentence and use the word . How did this character feel about his friend being hurt and in the hospital?

[it became regularity] Rewriting this sentence will make reading the story easier for the reader. When I read this, I lost the flow of my reading and had to restart again. By changing some words and rearranging them you would be able to make the meaning of this sentence clearer, give the reader a smooth reading experience, and keep them focused on your story.


Please let me know if you have any questions.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
360
360
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem also would fit if you were writing about Santa Claus. Santa Claus came to my mind as I read your poetry. I felt as if you had introduced the bunny/rabbit to me very nicely. I got to know him. The scenes were easy to visualize and understand. The story is believable and I needed to keep reading to discover what happens in this story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
361
361
Review of Dawn  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Your poem fits the requirements of this form. I checked and had to double-check because I missed a syllable or two somewhere. I didn't understand the ending . Your word choices worked well together and flowed smoothly.

I noticed you used [other] as a genre. For readers to more easily find your poem, you should consider using another genre category. [Emotional] would work because words and poem stories evoke emotions.

The word [persists] for me seems to not exactly show the light properly because I feel there is more to this light.
resolute:
[admirably purposeful], determined, and unwavering

This seems much stronger and honors her more in my mind and heart:
Her light
is resolute

her light is, her persistence is, her friendship and life are stronger, at least it seems to be this way to me according to what you are sharing through your words.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
362
362
Review of Lost Love  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed viewing through your words the scene and the characters as they met after a very long absence. Telling as needed and showing the emotions made the characters and plot real to me and I wanted to read every word. You caused emotions to flow through me along with showing those of the characters. Especially the sudden drop and sadness as it was revealed they would never or so it seems be together. I could feel the emptiness alongside the characters as they face the future separately while the past lingers in their minds. This is a nicely written story of love once theirs yet time separated it from them, well done.

I noticed you could add more genres to your story so that people can find it easier and enjoy reading it by using emotional because of the emotions of the characters and the emotions this story evokes within the reader, drama because it is dramatic being in love and then having to continue life without that special person, tragedy possibly because it is awful dealing with this kind of experience, and perhaps a few others.

Did you know with no restrictions about who is able to read your story that some publishers consider it published? This could mean that if you wanted to publish it, it might be more challenging or not published. I suggest that you change this access to WdC members only just in case you decide to publish this story.

I look forward to reading more of your stories. Write with might for reader's delight.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
363
363
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I had to concentrate on your story because of a few unexpected characters who made the story interesting after my mind caught up with your ideas, great way to get me to really look at the ideas of the story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your story with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
364
364
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm and word choices kept me reading your poem. It is a smooth pathway of words that gives me a complete understanding and a nice picture of you, God, and your special adored person.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
365
365
Review of Broken Heart  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Welcome to WdC.

Your story has great potential. The plot seems to be based on possible true events. The characters are believable. Adding to your story would be a great way to explain more about who these characters are, and why they are doing what they do, and give the reader reason to want to read more of your story by making it show what happens.

Please consider adding to the genres for your story so that people can find it easily and possibly it can be nominated for the quills. You could use drama, family, tragedy, or others for example.

Emotions inward and outward show how characters react to situations. How does she feel during her experience?

What motivates the guy to do what he does?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
366
366
Review of English Tanka  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The rhythm of your words smoothly carried me from the beginning to the end of your poems. Your words worked well together and I was not distracted. I was easily able to visualize the characters and actions of the plot.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
367
367
Review of Spectators  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It seems they are not happily married. They are devoted to their daughter, but I wonder if there is something hidden because although they seem devoted to her they are not sitting together as a happy married mother and father watching their daughter play the game.

I know this is microfiction and this requires very careful word choices and sentence structure to make the story as clear as possible for the reader. If you combine the night before reminder with the team in the playoffs this would tighten the word and sentence structure. By doing this you have more room for adding additional information while keeping the story micro in length.

By showing their rush to pay leaving their change, weaving through the crowd, and combining this into one sentence you are able to add more information. You could tell about him setting up the chairs and his wife reacting, then mention her moving into another area.

Showing the [why] in this short story is challenging and I hope you are able to edit it and keep readers interested in what is happening.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
368
368
Review of Confessional Lies  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is quite a confession for sure because of the interesting twist you told about the relationship between the priest and confessor, the activities, and the people involved. This could perhaps become a screenplay for a TV show.

You could add some other genres: instead of contest entry, perhaps spiritual, mystery because there is much that hasn't been explained, drams, emotional because the experiences do elicit emotions, and possibly use other genres.

I got the general idea, but am interested in knowing more about the characters and the events. I hope you will be able to add to this story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
369
369
Review of Jacket Thief  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It seems there is a huge storm within your story. The characters are believable, the scenes are seeable in my mind, and the plot is decent with a lot of potential. I understand this was written for a contest and that you probably had a word count limit, but with careful editing you can make this event clearer by changing some words and rearranging them. You could use something like this [looking between Agent and Kitty and slamming her palms...This brings the action to what is happening now rather than in the past. Doing something like this for the story will bring the reader into it and keep them interested in learning more about the characters and events.

I read the opening paragraph several times to understand who was doing what and how. This left me wondering why Kitty wanted to steal Athena's Jacket. I continued to read the story.

Athena's jacket was stolen by Kitty because Agent distracted her, correct?

You wrote a nice story with interesting characters and conflict between Athena and Kitty with Agent seeming to be more neutral yet willing accidentally or on purpose to distract Athena.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
370
370
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
If it were not so sad in some ways it would be so funny I would laugh all the way to the bank. *Rolling*

I really enjoyed reading this item because I could imagine the scenes, characters, and events as I laughed heartily.

This nonsense can upset some people. Perhaps a note to the reader could assist in helping some readers to not get upset.

The description doesn't exactly fit the story because although it tells about thoughts on God, it is more than that. It is a satire about the craziness of fallible humans in an imperfect world.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
371
371
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your story is heartfelt to me. I could feel the emotions of this story through your words, see in my mind the actions of you and Linda, and understand the losses you and Linda experienced.

It is your story about your friend which is why I suggest you consider changing the title or at least add a little more to include Linda and you.

I also feel that more added or a change should be made to the description because your story is more than the fact that Linda would not give up.

You could bring more life and emotions to this special story of you and Linda by explaining how you and Linda felt and reacted to the different events.

I could see you and Linda, imagine the environment, and feel the emotions of your story.

I'm glad you were able to write this story, visit with Linda, and during the hospice visit act out the adventure both of your planned and were not able to live together. This is a nice tribute to your friend.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
372
372
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WdC.

You wrote a complex poem of love too soon revealed so it seems. I could invision the scene and action of this interwoven story of what seems to be a misguided romance, or possibly a romance evoked too early that became a fright for one or both parties involved.

I noticed you could add, romance, possibly mystery, adventure even though it is a misguided romantic adventure, thriller because the mysteries of a romantic life can be thrilling, or some other genre that would help WdC members find your poem and read and review it, and possibly submit it to the Quills.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
373
373
Review of Black Is The Rose  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Did I understand correctly; By connecting; your rose is a special someone or a special dream for you or maybe you and a special someone or something?

I was able to visualize a black rose, or someone in black, or a faded dream.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
374
374
Review of Last Straw  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ok, you got me to chuckle when I reached the end of your story, well done.

I could visualize the characters, camel, and actions, and see the straw being pitched and eventually breaking the camel's back.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
375
375
Review of The Dinner Guest  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I saw that coming because I've read or heard similar stories. I enjoyed your version very much. The angel was different and a nice change. It warmed my heart and it also caused me to ponder/reflect upon the meaning of this story because you never know when God or an angel will visit.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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