*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
Review Requests: ON
2,040 Public Reviews Given
2,042 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 10 11 12 13 -14- 15 16 17 18 19 ... Next
326
326
Review of Do You Hear That?  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I certainly understand about hearing issues. This story is funny because of the quick additions to coverup what could result in a major fight. It also shows that even when there is challenges love is stronger. I could see in my mind, hear the conversation, and imagine the scene.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your funny word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
327
327
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your words showed me how much you love, honor, and cherish Angela Lee who is your favorite vet, your wife. I thank her for her service. I know your wife more now. I'm glad you two are together.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
328
328
Review of winter.  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You showed a wonderful picture of winter activities through your poem. Some possibilities for [fireplace} would be to consider the sound of . You could use face, race, space, place, grace, or other words. After [warmer]] you could place a comma or a comma and finish the thought on the next line. I'm not looking forward to winter but I really enjoy the warmth of a wood stove. A fireplace is nice. Are you familiar with an RMH?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
329
329
Review of Clarion Cry  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, a weight landed on me as I read your words. The hurt and anguish along with other emotions are woven through your poem showing the trodden-down spirit left quivering after years of assault. I could imagine the words spewing out into the air and hitting you. You duck and yet they still hit their mark.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
330
330
Review of Time for a Change  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed reading your poem because it had a bouncy rhythm and also because of the ending. It resonated when you wrote about switching to a Mac. I could see the events and feel the frustrations. Life with computers is a challenge, but for me using a Mac works best.

Thank you for writing and sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
331
331
Review of Dear Me (2022)  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have great ideas for the coming 2023 year that people should consider adding to their list of things they want to change for the better. I agree with writing more. It is creativity that causes the brain to grow and be active. Creating word art is a fantastic way to show readers the stories that matter to you; from you.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
332
332
Review of Pride  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
At the beginning of your poem story, it seems that denial is what is foremost in the actions of the person experiencing these feelings.

Then, there seems to be a change in thought about this situation; as if this person clung to something to make a positive change, perhaps a life-changing change for the better.

But then it is back to the old ways of being.

Please consider adding [personal] possibly, {dramatic] because it has drama, [dark because it seems to be dark, [tragity] because of the tragic situation, or some other genre so that readers can find your word art easier.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
333
333
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the me, myself, and I approach. One thing to do when writing is to get the words written no matter how sloppy because then you have the ideas/the story. Later after the critic and editor come back from vacation you can edit. But getting the story written is important, especially for NaNo. I've participated in NaNo and understand the necessity for writing the story. NaNo is near so don't fear. In 2023 give it your best and see the words flow as the story grows.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
334
334
Review of The Triangle  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You created an interesting but detectable twist to your story. I was wondering if the swindlers were going to be swindled. Your story is believable, the characters are memorable and believable, the twist will stick with me for a while, and the reading experience was very mice. My guess is that there is something special about this vault, the wall, and the bank entrance. There should be another access point within the bank, but it could be well hidden from the public. What drove the brothers to rob banks? Why did the bank employee decide to figure out how to outsmart the bank robbers? Why did the employee need the extra money, or was this pay in secret for an undercover job? Was everyone involved relieved it was over or do they want revenge? That silent alarm: I guess no matter how well you prepare for doing something you can't forse everything.

{c::grape}Did you use [crazy] twice in the same sentence for effect?

[more selective about their insideman} Did they find someone new, or did they very strongly impress upon their current insideman the need for special care in preparing for each bank robbery?

disposible phone = burner phone

As planned and exactly as planned takes me out of the story because of distraction. Your story would have a greater impact by omitting these words, or omitting these words and adding new ones.

...'t hold breath for the money. Is this for effect or did you leave out [your] accidently?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
335
335
Review of Drowning  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
As I read your last statement about not having a choice, I felt myself going down. It was a slipery slide to your dramatic ending about trying to save the one who would not be saved. Your poem reminder me of God and all He has done to save humanity. I could feel and see through your words the events you wrote of and expressed emotions you must have had. I do not know how you feel, but I can understand based on my experiences the helpless ness, desperation, and other emotions that stayed with you while doing everything you could for this person.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.

You could add personal, drama, or tragedy to the genres.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
336
336
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Frost, Jack Frost: wow, what a way to end this story. I chuckled. I was so into the story, I didn't see this ending coming. I should have picked up on the clues but didn't. Oh well! You wrote a very nice story.

There are several genre types you could add or change so that readers are able to find your story much easier. Action/Adventure could work because being trapped in Denny's could be quite an adventure especially when meeting strangers. Mystery would work because of not knowing the stranger and because of not knowing a budding romance may be in the making. Drama because being in a storm can bring drame to people who are frightened, have medical issues that require meds left at home, or because of being trapped with strangers. There probably are other genre that will go well with this story.

The storm looks like what? Show the storm by using descriptive words relating to wind, snow, ice, temperature, and people's reactions to this storm. What do the roads look like and what are the results from this storm? Are cars stranded for example?

By finding words to paint a picture you are showing the reader the story like showing a movie. Word pictures keep the reader interested.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
337
337
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You created a nice visual with the words. I noticed that as the situation changed so did the configuration of the sentences.

The end of your story had a great impact on me because you mentioned tears of sadness and then you mentioned tears of gladness. I'm very glad your mom has family members she knows now. This is an uplifting story. It is sad at first but, the ending is fantastic. I could feel and visualize these events.

Would you please consider changing [contest entry] to a different genre so that potential readers can find your poem story more easily?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
338
338
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
You retold the story of the prodigal son very well because of the elements included, the placement and choces of the words, and the rhythm. I enjoyed the repetitions because they brought forth the intensity of the hatrid which caused sadness within me. This sadness became gladness because I know the rest of the story.

Two genres that could work for your story are [cultural] because it is based on the biblical culture, and [dark} because hating one's brother is a kind of darkness. Some other genres might fit. Adding specific genres helps bring your stories to the attention of potential readers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
339
339
Review of THE COUCH"  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I could feel the love and respect for He who makes these things in your poem possible. It is a positive story of grace and mercy which uplifts my heart. I'm glad I found your item because it made me feel happy. I can relate to your words as I also have sat still and pondered these special things.

..spirit [dwells] would work better and be smoother to read.

when you use [gave] you are to my understanding saying He is no longer giving, right or do you mean [gives] as continually giving?

In your last line, you have a space between the word and the comma.

Also, In your last line; it would be easier to read by changing [desire] to [desires]

I'm not sure what you are writing in the last part of the sentence. Do you mean [praise] and [reverence] is what He asks from us?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
340
340
Review of In My Lane  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really could relate to your story because with God all things are possible including staying you your/my designated lane. It's similar to the statement, "Don't get out of the boat." Yes, indeed I get it. My heart jumped for joy when I read your story, thank you. And, yup I'm crazy for my Lord Jesus. Praise and glory to God for my salvation. I appreciate every day He has made for everyone. I appreciate He inspired you to write this story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
341
341
Review of Time  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading your poem because it is a new form to me. I also enjoyed the way the words played together. It is different from the usual rhyming of many poems I have read. I learned something today thanks to finding your poem through [read and review].

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
342
342
Review of The Gen X Shuffle  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm with you on the Marley Bros music. I have a favorite concert video I listen to frequently via YouTube. I am also eclectic in my musical tastes, but rarely listen to rap or opera.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your musical interests, and word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
343
343
Review of A Banana Split  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem got me excited. I love positivity even when things do not go the way I'd like. I figure there is a good reason that I do not know about. Even with the things that are downers included in your poem those words that should be pushed away, it had a bouncy rhythm. I guess it pushed the negative far from WdC and thee.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
344
344
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is quite an adventure into the world of theater. I wonder what happened after Darlene was discovered by Dom Juan? Did he throw her out or get to know her?

Another genre that would fit this story would be thriller/suspense because the snooping around apparently alone could at any time become a discovery of the character who is snooping. The reaction of the person, who makes this discovery, could have varied emotions and reactions. This is great suspense.

Showing more emotions through the character's inward and outward reactions would help readers know more about them and care about them. Readers who have a vested interest in the characters most likely will continue reading the story.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
345
345
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very good explanation of how to use writingML because it is short and to the point. The value of this information can be used by beginners because it is easy to understand, and by seasoned users as a review or when a reminder of how to is needed.

Thank you for writing, providing this information, and sharing it with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
346
346
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You certainly described summer in a sensory array of odors and visuals. I could imagine the scents and colorful view. I also could feel the joy of being alive to enjoy this season.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your summer word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
347
347
Review of A Simple Touch  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed the rhythm of your words because although in a way your poem mentioned some sad situations, it also mentioned "touch" which can give hope and uplift the spirit. Your words as I read them were bouncy and uplifting.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
348
348
Review of Age of Dystopia  
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
As I read your words I enjoyed a smooth reading experience. They worked well together. I don't remember the tune which should accompany your words, however, it did not distract me.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
349
349
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, I enjoyed reading your story. The end was...priceless. I could see you searching, preparing the pizzas, and joyfully thinking how nice the party would be as well as the money you saved. The response of the guests as they discovered what you did was a belly laugh, thanks. They paid to go out for dinner. What a change for a birthday party. I wonder why you didn't think to do this sooner? I wonder what happened during dinner?

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
350
350
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As I read your poem I imagined the people praying, struggling to sing as loud as they can, and with expectations waiting for the rain. I could feel the dust as it floated in the air, the parched mouths, the anticipation and dread of the rain. Anticipation because of having water for all life and dread because of possible flooding.

Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1,170 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 47 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/vpbanjo/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14