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1,223 Public Reviews Given
1,228 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of The Decision  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Soldier_Mike Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
Great hook! We are shown that the main character is nervous because he is perspiring and thrown into a situation he never envisioned himself in. I was intrigued to know what the situation was.

Dialogue
The dialogue showing the dynamics between father and son was executed well. I could feel the conflict in their discussion. Then the short dialogue at the end is very professional sounding, which makes sense he is being spoken to by members of the company.

Character Development
The main character and the father are built up well in the telling of the story. The son is used to getting the best of things without having to try too hard due to his father's hard work. He does not fight his fears and instead avoids having to face them all together. Then, he is forced to man-up for the greater good.

At first, I got a sense that the young man was selfish and spoiled. He has all the luxurious without having to work for them. Then, in the end, we see he has a compassionate side because he thinks of the employees and their families.

Scenery
There really isn't much scenery. It isn't really needed so much to show the story you've shared, but it might help some if we know what type of company it is besides just the name. It would add to the imagery in the story.

Plot
You entwined the prompt well into the plot. You used both a fear and force the character to do something against their nature for the greater good of others. Good job on that!

I do feel there was a bit more showing than telling here. We are told mostly background story, from the perception of the son. So, it makes most of the story a flashback of sorts.

Mechanics
I didn't really see any issues that stand out or caused me to trip over while reading.

Final thoughts
Overall, you used the prompt well and it was an interesting read. Thank you for submitting to the contest and sharing your imagination with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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77
Review of I Met God  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Victoria Anne Emslie Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
The first paragraph sets the scene by introducing the fact that the main character is fulfilling an assignment. Due to the nature of what she has chosen to do with the assignment, I suspected she would learn something profound, so I wanted to read on to learn what life lesson it would be.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed exceptionally well in this story. The only suggestion I have here is maybe when God is speaking, use italics. Not using italics doesn't affect the clarity of those areas, but it would show that only she can hear God in her head as if it is an internal thought implanted by him.

Character Development
Characters are defined well, especially Carla. It is not mentioned, but I get a sense that she is already a believer in God, but doesn't understand how someone who seemingly has lost everything could also believe. She is also a bit fearless because she does not fear coming up to three male homeless strangers. Instead, she seems quite confident when she approaches them. Some people would be cautious, not necessarily because they are homeless, but more so because a woman with three strange men could end up being a scary situation.

She also seems to have an artists mind, which is fitting since she is a photographer. Us artists seem to view things a bit differently, seeing bits of things others neglect to see, like the photo with the light above the men's heads due to the firelight.

The houseless men are interesting. I like how you show their individual stories and show how they have things to be grateful for. Little details like showing us the man's scar help us to see these characters.

Scenery
The scenery is done well when we are learning about the three men. It is easy to imagine the typical scene, which is often in movies, where people are standing around a bin to keep warm.

Plot
I thought it was a good plot. The theme was inspiring and it gives a different perspective on the homeless, which is not often seen in writing.

This story fits the prompt as far as the doing something for the greater good part. Although, I'm not really understanding where the doing something she fears or detests comes into play in this story. It seems as if she is following the path she was already on, but with the extra guidance from God.

Mechanics
“How did you come to believe in god(God)?”

she felt that it gave each photo a sense of the Other than she assumed god would give any situation.- This part of the sentence needs some clarity. I'm not really sure what you mean by "sense of the Other". Also, "God" needs to be capitalized.


Final thoughts
Overall, this was a great story. It was well written and you should be very proud of it.

Thank you for sharing your story! I've enjoyed the read. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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78
Review of Toward Darkness  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
The first paragraph introduces us to poor aging Bob. The details there are great with him looking into the dirty glass to see his reflection. Although, the real hook here is when we learn he has lost his job. It is then that we begin to understand that Bob is homeless due to unemployment.

Dialogue
Dialogue is handled very well. I liked the bit when he is mumbling to himself at the beginning of the story. It shows he's an angry and discontent man. Then toward the end, dialogue carries us through the hilarious conclusion.

Character Development
This man's character is built exceptionally well. Like I mentioned earlier, he seems very angry. Although, we learn why and can't blame him for feeling the way he does. Then when he is given that choice, in a way I wanted him to keep the money, even though it might not be the moral thing to do.

Scenery
The scenery is pretty basic but added to the actions of the story. Personally, I don't feel there is a need for more in order to show this story.

Plot
I thought the plot was hilarious. This is mostly due to the contrast of the situations. The situation with Bob is pretty traumatic, while the angels and dark lord are nonchalant.

It follows the prompt well too. He makes a decision against his morality for his own survival, which is doing something they detest for the greater good. Well, the greater good for his own needs that is.

Mechanics
I didn't see any areas to trip over. It is a well-edited story.

Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read! Although, I should not be surprised you'd throw a bit of humor into the plot.

Thank you for sharing your writing, Ken. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Fran's Father  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,PureSciFiPlus Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
The story begins with a child's nightmare of a burnt man in a house. It piqued my curiosity because sometimes nightmares can be acquired from traumatic events. So, I wondered if it was a memory of sorts. So, it works as a hook.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed fairly well. Most of it is conversational. I found it strange that the daughter called her dad Father. The reason being, usually kids will say, Dad, Daddy, Pappa, or some other cultural term of endearment for father. Father is just too formal.

In many areas where you have speaking it seems matter of fact during traumatic events. This is mostly because there is no body language or internal emotions to express the intensity of the situation. So, maybe if you get around to adding to this story, you might want to add those elements to it.


Character Development
Fran is a strong young woman, mentally and physically. This is apparent when she takes charge by breaking the chair and turning over the table. The father seems a bit weaker in some respects. He sort of gives up when beneath the table. Although, when his daughter was in the same situation he seemed strong.

Although it is adrenaline which gives Fran the ability to lift the table off of her father, I find it strange that she would be able to drag his heavy body such a long distance without him showing signs of agony along the way. After all, if he was that hurt, dragging him might cause more damage and pain.

Was the man stealing food from houses the burned man? I was a little confused about that, so maybe a little bit of clarity to let the reader know for sure would help in making this clear.


Scenery
There are some interesting bits of scenery displayed. We have a bomb shelter, which makes me wonder if this takes place in the past or future. Very few homes have bomb shelters these days. Although, the correlation with her envisioning it in her nightmares makes for an intriguing story.

Plot
I thought that the concept in this story was an interesting take on the prompt. Fran is having nightmares, which are actually due to something in her father's past. They also entwine with her own experience of being trapped when a dilapidated home begins to collapse. This sets up the dilemma for her to have to choose to fight through her own fears from her nightmares and instead use the nightmares as a psychic resource to find safety.

I got a little confused with the way you split this story up. When the first part cuts off, I thought we were going to learn how it was the father's fault. Instead, we are taken to the daughter where she is warned not to go across the street and told about a man who is stealing food from homes. Then we are taken to the daughter's experience at four years old. We don't actually get to the events of why she is dreaming about a burned man for a while.

Final thoughts
I thought the concepts here were very creative and they utilized the prompt well. I just feel it needs a bit of tuning up in the showing of the story.

Thank you for sharing your writing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,RobertJ Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
Since I'm American, I know what the symbolism is with the shot heard around the world, so I was pretty sure it would be about the Revolutionary War. Most of us learn about this in school. I was curious if you were going to put a new twist on the old classic stories.

Then the story begins by introducing us to Paul, who is tied up. I thought this was a good start because it introduces the reading audience to drama right away. I was curious why he was tied up.

What I liked

I thought you did well following the prompt. Paul putting his life in danger by choosing to be a spy is a great example of someone doing something for the greater good. In a way, he is lying, which is probably against his morality, but he is doing so for a greater purpose.

My suggestions
I thought the dialogue was executed pretty well. The words spoken matched what was going on during the time and the tone they spoke in matched situations. Although, I do have a little suggestion here. The characters speak like they do now in modern times, but back then they spoke much different using words we do not commonly use now. They also had their own slang. Some of these elements would have added to this story making it feel more realistic.

Also, I found a few errors, which I felt need your attention.

Sun light(Sunlight) beamed through a crack

counter spy- counterspy

business man- businessman

behind the llead(lead) musket ball

one third- one-third

The man walked over and spoke as to him

seventy seven- seventy-seven

battle field- battlefield


Final thoughts
I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing it and submitting it to the contest *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Worth Saving  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
The story begins with an introduction to Matt. Although, the actual hook is when we learn Matt has a huge bias against gays. The introduction of him mostly serves to soften his character, once that flaw is shown. I was interested to know whether there would be something which would change his views.

Dialogue
The dialogue was executed well. At first, I thought the bit where he asks him if he's right with God was a little forced. Then I realized it was intentional, possibly to show how doing so could seem judgmental to the other person. Like the main character contemplates, he didn't really get to know the guy first.

Character Development
I thought Matt's character was well developed. Character's with flaws are more dimentional, hense more believable. He's a Godly man, but he has an issue with people who are gay. In a way, due to his childhood experiences, he is sort of trying to prove something to himself, or at least that is the perception I got.

Scenery
The scenery is pretty basic, but there really isn't any more that needs to be shown in order to see the story.

Plot
You followed the prompt well. Matt has an issue with homosexuality, yet he saves a gay man from a fire. There is a little bit of a lesson for both men at the end. Maybe both of them should not be so judgmental right away.

Mechanics
You've turned in a well-edited story, so from my perception, this is error free.

Final thoughts
Thank you for sharing your story to the contest. It was a pleasure reading your story today. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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82
Review of The Good Shepherd  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Than Pence Author IconMail Icon! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.

The hook
The story begins with drama. We learn that the main character is obviously nervous or hurt due to his throat being restricted. Then we learn he has been presented with a choice. These qualities do well in hooking the reader.

Dialogue
The spoken words between quotation marks are expressed well. It is conversational, while avoiding being unrealistically formal.

I did have to struggle a bit trying to figure out who was actually speaking sometimes. This is due to you adding body language or actuals of two or more characters and then dialogue. Below is an example, but the issue is throughout.

Mil’jon smiled coldly. Thomas felt sick. “I knew where you’d be when faced with this choice.”

Character Development
Mil'jon is an interesting villain in the story. He's forcing Thomas to make a choice between power or the person Thomas loves.

I would not call Thomas a moral hero. He absorbs people to gain his powers, which isn't a very kind attribute. Although he is capable of love, which is a positive trait.

I found Jessica to be the most interesting character. I like the way you describe her washing the crystal, it is symbolic of washing Thomas' sins away, or at least that is the way I understood it. She's self-sacrificing because she is letting him know it is alright to choose to not absorb his flock to keep her alive.

Scenery
Scenery is executed well. I could see that Mil'jon and Thomas were outside, but then when he is with Jessica, they are in their home.

Plot
I feel you added all of the elements of the prompt. In order to make a choice for the higher good, he had to let the woman he loved die. It works as a good plot to a story.

Mechanics

I found some errors which I feel need your attention. Your words are in blue and mine are in black

Or killed Jessica. If she’s not dead- You forgot the period after dead.

“Oh,” he said, his smiling(smile) curling

Twenty feet way(away) stood Mil’jon

That revelation (made) Thomas flinch

Final thoughts
Overall, I think you handled the prompt well. I just feel you need some clarity within the dialogue so that we know who is speaking.

Thank you for sharing your writing. It has been a pleasure reading your story. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
83
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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While browsing the random read and reviews, I ran across yet another of your poems. This is a lovely verse. I love the symbolism here.

This is obviously a spiritual poem. You seem to be using the passing of night and day as a metaphor for spiritual progression. In the darkness, you listen for the creator's voice, then embrace the light which he/she brings. Or, at least that is what I perceived from your words, especially since I know your spiritual path is an important element in your daily life.

These lines are my favorite:

Where the world bleeds white,
I inhale the fragrance of your passing,

The reason I appreciate these lines is because it represents death as not a bad thing. It is part of the cycle of life, just as the passing of light and dark.

Overall, wonderful verse. Thank you for sharing, Snow. *Heart*
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Review of The Sale  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi, Jacky! While browsing the random read and reviews I came across this flash fiction. I'm thinking it was probably written for a flash fiction contest with a limited word count. I think you did well with the limited word count.

The hook
We know her day has begun stressful. Most days which begin in such a way are typically catastrophic, with little mishaps throughout the day. I was curious as to what her experiences would be.

Dialogue
Dialogue was done well. There wasn't a lot, but what is here is fitting to the characters and story.

Character Development
I really get a sense of this woman's want and need for this hair equipment. It is on sale, so today is probably the only day she can afford it.

Scenery
There isn't really much scenery. The most important aspect of this story takes place in the story. I imagined a typical store. There really wasn't much need for more to show the story.

Plot
The plot was humorous! I liked the conclusion. With such a limited word count you were able to put a story together with a twist and good conclusion. Well done!

Mechanics
I found a few areas which I feel need attention, but they are an easy fix.

She was determined, she was sure the new Roseo hair dryer would solve all her problems. - This is a run-on sentence. Maybe consider putting an "and" between the two or making them two completely different sentences.

her makeup all smudged, especially under her eyes, dried coffee stains- needs an "and" after the "dried coffee stains"

Final thoughts
Overall, great little story here. Thank you for sharing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
85
85
Review of Dame Frolicsome  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi, Dame! While browsing the random read and reviews, I came across this little poem. It was a great little read. Well written!

My first thoughts were that this is someone young. When we are young we crave the challenge. The bad girls or bad guys are seen as a possible conquest. As we get older, after being burned we sometimes change our thinking with this.

The syllable count you have chosen, sort of makes this feel staccato. This works with the content because it resembles that quickened heartbeat or adrenaline rush when in such a relationship or in that stage of newness.

Overall, great poem. Thank you for sharing your writing. *Heart*
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Sonali! I ran across this fun little story while browsing the random read and reviews. Funny thing is, my birthday was two days ago and I made dinner, rather than someone treating me. So, I could so relate to this. Although I'm a pretty good cook. If I would have read this first, maybe I would not have been such a good cook that night. *Bigsmile* Good way to get them to treat you. Funny! I'll have to remember this for next year.

This was a fun read. At first, I was thinking, how rude that you have to empty your bank account to appease on your birthday. I mean, isn't it them who is supposed to do for you. Then again, I really don't take that advice myself.

Mechanically, this is written well. It flows from paragraph to paragraph without any confusing bits or structural issues. I didn't run across any grammar or spelling issues, either. it is well edited.

The story flows at a fast speed. I thought the "anniversary of the previous birthday" was a cute way of expressing Birthday. Then the details flow effortlessly, keeping the reader glued to the story. I was curious of what kind of mischief the main character would do in order to change the norm of her going broke on her own birthday. Although her mischief isn't intentional, it was funny.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm glad this was my first read of the morning. It was good to start my day with some giggles. *Bigsmile*
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Ridinghood! While browsing the random read and reviews this morning, I came across this lovely verse.

The emotions expressed in this poem is one of free love and peace. There were some interesting analogies. I looked up dragonfly children just in case it meant something else, but I'm assuming it means what I first assumed. Dragonflies have wings and they sparkle in the darkness, so I equated it to children having wings to pursue whatever they imagine and shining brightly.

Jazz politicians asleep at the wheel was an interesting analogy as well. It seemed you were referring to the ignorance within politics. Then the last stanza encourages this interpretation as you are equating the President as the blind leading the blind.

The abac rhyme scheme is consistent, helping this poem flow. To be honest, I didn't even know it rhymed until the second read through. So, apparently, there were no areas which felt forced for me to stumble over.

Overall, great poem. Thank you for sharing. *Heart*
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Review of Wasted Talent  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi, Angus! I found another one of your stories while browsing the random read and reviews. This was a short but impactful read.

There's a lot of character development thrown in this short write. That is not easy to do with such a small word count. Everyone around is discouraging with his dreams of art, yet he is persistent in trying. As an artist, this art teacher sort of annoyed me. Not everyone's art is the same. It is an individual expression.

At first, I was wondering why we don't get this young man's name. We get a lot of details about his life and those around him, but he is just referred to "he" or "him". Although, once we get to the end we find out who this young man is. Then it made sense why you left his name a secret until the end.

Great story, Angus. I was glued from beginning to end and the surprise conclusion was wonderful. Thanks for sharing your writing. *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Jody! While browsing the random read and reviews, I ran across this wonderful story. I'm glad I did. It was quite moving and inspirational.


The character development is done so well. I really get a sense of this young man. He's got flaws, which makes him dimensional and real to the reader. He's just a normal college kid. He would rather be out having fun with his friends than working with his grandfather. He's a little selfish, which doesn't make him a bad person, just normal. We all have selfish moments.

The grandfather seems like a good guy. He lost his wife and is looking for meaning. That too makes for a dimensional character. I felt like I wanted to sit and hang out with the guy and learn more of his stories. I loved that little story about mowing and how he equated it to his military years.

The bottle cap souvenier bit was a great addition to this story. It ties everything together and makes that wonderful ending more impactful. In a way, that bottle cap will mark an important learning experience. Not only has he done something for someone who can not do it himself, but since the young man is his age, he's learned a life lesson about self-sacrifice, appreciating the life he has, and appreciating those who made his comfortable life possible.

An overall amazing story, Jody. I am so happy I ran across this story. It was a wonderful read to end my reviewing day with. Thank you for sharing.
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Review of New Beginnings  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi, Elby! I ran across this verse while browsing the random read and reviews. I enjoyed reading it, so figured I would share my thoughts.

I felt this was an inspirational verse. It is as if you are telling the reader that hardships are just part of the cycle and one must choose to find joy to get through it a little easier. After all, like you express, "We can not control nor re-arrange." There is a level of acceptance in order not to allow life's tribulations from stopping us from happiness.

There was one little error that I found. In stanza three you use "it's" when it should be "its". "Its" shows possession, while "it's" actually means "it is".

Besides that easy to fix error, this was well written. Thank you for sharing.
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Review of Crushed Petals  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Ken! I'm back for another review. Thank you for your submission to the Rebel Poetry Contest.

This was a lovely poem. It shows the ignorance most of us face during youth. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to learn the difference between real love and manipulations the hard way.

I loved the title of this poem! It is so symbolic and matches the poem so well. Typically when we think of rose petals, we think of that sweet aroma. Although, like love, when crushed, it is bittersweet. Excellent analogy!

Your repeated lines flow effortlessly into the poem. Sometimes repeated lines can be tricky and end up sounding forced. Yours do not, which shows your poetic skill.

The only issue I found is you seem to have forgotten the end punctuation in the last line. Although, that is an easy fix.


Thank you for your continued support of the contest. I look forward to your next submission. *Heart*

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Review of Screens  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Come on in and join the fun!


Hi, Jeff! I'm here to review your poem "Screens" Open in new Window., which was submitted to the July/August round in the "Rebel Poetry Contest" Open in new Window..


The title is catchy! It matches the theme of the poem, too. Then when I looked at the poem, the form matched the shape of the image, which is visually appealing.

I don't know if you did it on purpose, but within lines three to five there are similarities among the words. Each word in the third line begins with "en". You use assonance in the fourth line with the repeated "o" sound. Then you use assonance again in the fifth line with the repeated "a" sound.

I like how your words begin pretty harmless with screens being "hypnotic" and "bright", then the words descend to a stronger view of showing the dangers encountered through the manipulations on the television.

Overall, great little poem and good use of the prompt. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
93
93
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Thank you for your support of the "Rebel Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. with your continued entries. I always enjoy your submissions. *Bigsmile*

That pesky raccoon has challenged me to review a fellow challenger in the hunt. I've decided to review all participants who enter my contests now, so why not hit two birds with one stone. *Bigsmile*

I got a belly laugh at your take on the prompt. When we get to the medications, I just about spit my coffee out onto my computer screen. Even reading it again, I can't help but laugh. You have a gift for comedy.

The imagery you show of the disturbed woman with an imagined partner is a unique take on this prompt. I love that it fits, but is something I totally didn't expect to read in reference to the Bjork video. Although, I should have expected it. She does display disturbed individuals in the video. *Bigsmile*

I could not find any fault with your poem. It was an excellently written verse, with no areas for me to fumble over. The rhyme scheme was creative, too!

Hopefully, you will continue to enter. I always enjoy your submissions. *Heart*
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Maryann! I'm here for the 24-hour review raid. I chose this at random from your The Best of My Portfolio folder. I can see why you included this poem as one of your better works. It is a great little poem.

First thoughts
On the first read through, I thought this was a beautiful poem. There is some beautiful imagery, showing the night sky to the reader.

Imagery
The first stanza brings magical thoughts to mind. Those stars "dance", "twinkle", and flutter. It is almost as if they are alive in their display in the night sky. Great personification there!

I love how you describe the galaxy's "Milky Way" reference as a "splash of wonder" and "majestic spray". Honestly, I never considered why they would call the galaxy "milky", but your imagery helps me to understand why. Those stars do shine white against the black sky, giving a sprayed appearance.

Emotive qualities
The emotions expressed in the poem are that of wonder and appreciation. I imagined being a spectator, staring up at this display.

Flow
Honestly, the poem flowed so well, I didn't ever notice the rhyme until the second read through. Your words flow effortlessly, without any forced areas.

Mechanics
Mechanically, this is well written. You chose not to use grammar, which works.

Final thoughts
This was an excellent read. Thanks for sharing your creativity with me. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Unchained Melody  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I found this poem via a search for items in the Psychology genre and am reviewing it as part of the challenge in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. This was a wonderful find and I am not surprised it placed in the slam.


First thoughts
After my first read, I felt this was an excellent poem. I love the story it tells and the emotive qualities built up in each stanza.

Imagery
There are some great lines of allegory in this poem. Below are a few of my favorite lines.

"Caged and shackled in her social milieu"- The reference to cultural shackles here brings to mind how cultural norms can be so destructive, binding us.

"Sowing wild seeds in turbulent winds"- The son's disruptive qualities are displayed well here. I get a sense that he has strayed from his mother, choosing adventure and chaos over family.

Emotive qualities
This poem tells a sad story, but there is also a lesson to learn and some inspiration. This young woman had conformed to the cultural thought of a male child being the best, especially when one can only have one child. She resents that she has delivered a female, seeing her daughter's life as a "curse".

I love how you conclude this, showing how what she thought was a curse, was actually a blessing. The last line with the little girl on her lap is one which I'm sure many have shed a tear over after reading.

Flow
The poem flows really well. There were random rhymes throughout which gave an interesting flow to the poem.

Mechanics
I didn't find any issues to trip over. It is a well written poem.

Final thoughts
This was a wonderful read. It makes a point about how harmful some cultural norms can be, but also has a spiritual feel toward the end, with the inspiration and love shown. Overall great poem. Thank you for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of The Fairy's Hovel  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

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Today's raid focus is on children's and young adult stories. This particular story I found on the suggested read list on the raid page. While browsing titles and descriptions, this one caught my interest.

The hook
Nice imagery in the beginning! I could see the sun setting. Although, the real hook is when we are shown Jessica impatiently waiting for something. It does well in piquing the reader's interest.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed really well. I could see the difference between the two character's personality through their individual dialogue. The dialogue does well in carrying the plot. Also, you don't use too many dialogue tags. Instead, there is plenty of body language. For example, you show us Jessica's irritation at the reporter and then show it in her speech.

Character Development
Jessica is dimensional. She's impatient, which shows her excitement. Then that impatience transforms into annoyance when the reporter starts questioning her.

Scenery
There are some great scenery descriptions here without too many long, drawn out areas. I like the way you describe the comforts of the fairy house. It had that tiny feel with having to curl feet up on the couch, but at the same time seemed comfy with the soft pillows.

Plot
I thought it was cute when Jessica kept using "yezz" for "yes". Then when I found out why I had a little giggle. This would be a fun read for any child. I know my children would have loved it when they were young.

Final thoughts

I enjoyed this fun little story! It was shown in a way which would be easy for a child to understand, with humor they could appreciate. Although, they might start collecting flies in jars if it is read to them. *Bigsmile*

Thank you for sharing your writing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

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Today's raid focus is on children's and young adult stories. I chose this one because it was on the bottom of the raid suggestion list. I figured most people would start from the top of the list, leaving the last ones less likely to be reviewed. *Bigsmile*

I'm glad I did! This was a fun little story. It is definitely one I would have enjoyed reading to my children when they were small.

The hook
We are taken into the magical realm of fairies. As a parent, I could see my children (when they were little ones) being interested in reading this story by that first sentence. Then when we are introduced to pouty Sue, we are shown a character who is relatable to a young person.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed well. It matches the characters personality. Sue's repetitiveness of "Let's go" shows her want in rushing through things with impatient speech.

Character Development
I love these character's you have created! The character's show different aspects of emotion in a way children can understand. We've all been impatient and pessimistic Sue at one time or another.

Scenery
The scenery is displayed just enough to show the story. Due to this being a children's story, I would think you would more so want to avoid long drawn out scene descriptions. I would imagine, more details would be shown in the images drawn up for each page.

Plot
When my children were younger, I preferred reading them books that taught life lessons or morals in fun ways. The lesson here is an excellent one. It is a concept that is hard for young ones to understand easily, but the way you display it seems so simple to understand. I simply love the way you show Sue's emotional transformation.

Mechanics
From my understanding, children's literature should not contain too many complex words. It should be written in a way to where children can learn to read it themselves at an early age. I believe you accomplished this. All the words used are commonly used, which would make this something a child could easily grasp.

Final thoughts
Overall, this was an excellent little children's story! I'd love to see it in print with pretty pictures to go along with it.

Thank you for sharing your writing! I enjoyed this magical little read. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of If I Could Choose  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I found your verse while browsing the random read and reviews. You tend to review me a lot, so figured I would stop and read and review one of yours. I'm glad I did because it was a wonderful little read.

The description and the title grabbed my attention. Using the five senses with family could take various perceptions, depending on whether experiences growing up were positive or negative. Although, the title suggests a positive representation because it is will display how you would have chosen it to be. This also means that these are just what you would have preferred and it is sort of sad that it is a wish, not a reality.

These senses are beautifully displayed in what most would consider a stereotypically happy family. You have the smells of holiday feasts, the feel of love, and laughter through play.

An overall excellent poem, Neva. Thank you for sharing. *Heart*
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Review of Escapism  Open in new Window.
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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While browsing the random read and reviews, I came across this little story. So, I figured I would give it a read. I'm glad I did because it was an entertaining read. It was an intriguing take on the prompt! Very creative!

The hook
The story begins with some beautiful imagery. I could see those beams of sunlight reflecting Jewel-like on the snow. Rather than just being told it was cold and Winter, we see the season.

The real hook is when we get to the second paragraph and we know he's had a foreboding dream, which hints at its importance. It piqued my curiosity enough to want to read on.

Dialogue
The dialogue is handled like a pro. As the reader I see these characters coming alive through their dialogue. I see that satisfied posture when Rolf announces "there" signifying that he has lit the fire. Then I see these crude bird-like beings approaching him with a knife as they speak.

Character Development
Rolf apparently is a nice guy if we go by the dreams he experiences. His internal thoughts show he is kind spirited. This is especially obvious when he looks at his wife and instantly thinks about how beautiful she is.

These beings are sort of disturbing, but yet are funny in a B horror sort of way. It is sort of hard to take a birdman seriously, yet they are doing some disturbing things to the man. I happen to be a fan of B horror, so this is a compliment. *Smile*

Scenery
There is a ton of imagery thrown into the actions of the story. At first, we get primitive, yet sweet imagery with the cave when it is just him and his wife. Then later in the story, the cave images match the disturbing reality. These contrasts are symbolic.

Plot
I think it was quite brilliant to make positive dreams a weapon. It almost seems like a metaphor for modern life. There will always be those who are more primitive in their development who can't handle the fact that others dream.

Final thoughts
Overall great story! I'm glad that I stopped by to be entertained by your imagination. Thank you for sharing your writing.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
100
100
Review by Warped Sanity Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Come on in and join the fun!


I came across this while clicking through the random read and reviews, so thought I'd give it a read. I am glad I did. It is a lovely little poem.

What a beautiful tribute to your mother's sacrifice. As a fellow mother, I can say, I'm sure she didn't mind going without for you to have. It is what us mothers do.

What I love about this free verse is that it not only shows a glimpse of your mother's beautiful spirit but at yours as well. She danced and rejoices in music, finding happiness in her struggles. The fact that as her child you embrace the same type of uninhibited joy through music and dance in her memory and realize her sacrifice says a lot about your character.

Overall, this was a wonderful little free verse. Thank you for sharing. *Heart*
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