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I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
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I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
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Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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76
76
for entry "The Great Oz
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is the third review in your package, but I am definitely returning to read the rest of this novel. It is truly an excellent read and I feel a need to know what is going to happen.

Dialogue
Dialogue is to the point, much like military personnel would communicate. Then the stoic expressions between dialogue emphasize this.

Character Development
I thought Sam was a scary man, but The Great Oz, or rather Kohl, is more so. All the little physical details make this evident. like his aura seeing to arrive before his body and Sam standing to attention due to respect instead of out of duty. Physical descriptions, like his muscular structure and his eyes also make him out to be very intimidating.

We get to know Sam a lot more in this chapter, too. I suspected he felt guilty for something, but he seemed to enjoy killing way too much to be that. Knowing his one regret with these children clarifies this for me. It is almost as if losing his leg was punishment for the sin. When I read what he had inadvertently done, I felt sad for these children. That is an awfully hard memory to have as baggage.

We also learn that Sam is more than just a military man. He plays an important aspect of scientific advancement. So, rather than just brute strength, his is also strong in intelligence.

Sam's life has been dormant without purpose. Having an assignment gives him purpose, hence making him feel alive.

Like, Merci, Sam also has an odd friend. Jesse is somewhat of a conspiracy theorist, which Sam first sees as a crackpot, but the man grew on him.

Scenery
I appreciate how you allow the scenery to add to the appearance of Kohl. This dark, yet shadowy room, makes the two men look even more sinister.

Also, we now know that Sam has been waiting at a secret base, which explains the phones more so. He's got a small living quarter, where necessities are provided. There is even advanced technology, like the television showing the satellite images.

Plot
I knew that gadget Simene created would have some relevance! Well, you don't say it, but the fact that the phone Sam is given is made private by satellite hints that the gadget holds importance.

We are introduced to the fact that these military men feel they have an important role in keeping a timeline strait....or rather that is the impression I get right now. There is evidence that someone is trying to change things. Although, since this chapter is from the perception of these two men, it is easy to equate that they don't want things to sway away from where they want them to be, which may or may not be good.

I love Maci's character and after this chapter, I am afraid for her. I suspect she has a purpose, which is why others are reaching out to her in her visions. Although, her concept of greater good I'm suspecting is much different than the concept these military men have.

Mechanics
I found one little error in this chapter.

and starred(stared) out into the night.

Final thoughts
This story has so many layers and I feel I am peeling them away, piece by piece, diving deeper into this world you have created. I can't wait to peel away more layers. Thank you for sharing this with me!




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
77
77
for entry "Simene
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This is your second review in your package on in the Icecream Social. To be honest, I didn't want to stop reading this. It is that good. I just figured I better pause and send a review before I get too far. This review will cover the first three chapters.

The detail and imagery are so well executed in this book. I'm sure these are some of the most edited chapters in the book since they are earlier chapters, but I am in awe. I feel humbled by reviewing this because you are so beyond me in skill. You are the type of writer I hope to be one day.

Dialogue
The dialogue is conversational, with each character showing their unique traits in their chosen words. When these characters are conversing, I feel like I am right there watching them speak.

The friendship between Merci and Semine was weaved into the dialogue so well. I could feel their connection in friendship flowing naturally through their words and the body language accompanying the dialogue.

Character Development
These characters are dimensional, which makes them feel real. I've decided to discuss each separately.

Merci- I'm so attached to this character! At first, I when I realized she is a trust fund baby, I thought of the trust-fund babies I know. They seem to have it easy because they don't have to work hard due to their parents paying for everything. Yet, they complain about their life. Although, this is coming from the perception of someone who has had to work hard for everything I have.

Merci is much different than any trust-fund babies I know. She's well traveled and has seen the harsher side of humanity. This has made her less trusting of people. With this, I felt a kinship with her.

Also, experiences with what she has decided is a demon has made her learn how to face her fears head-on. She realizes that fear will always be there, but she doesn't allow it to control her. This shows a lot of strength.

Her physical appearance is an interesting one. Making her void of skin pigment is an interesting concept. I love the way you show her love for her milky skin in the shower. Beautiful imagery there. Then when she shows Simone her naked body, another side of her is shown. As much as she is an introvert, she is not actually all that shy.

Sam- This is one scary guy. Even though he is older with a prosthetic leg, I'd still be afraid of him. He has no guilt with killing and actually enjoys it. He's the kind of guy you slit your throat, then looks you in the eye and smile.

He has let himself go by drinking quite a bit, which says there may be some underlining guilt, but he doesn't express it so much. It is almost like his memories are reminiscing is past.

He's let himself go in the aspect of that military cleanliness. When I left him last, he was not so happy about his superior officer arriving at his mess. I would imagine he is going to hurry up and tidy the place up before we meet The Great Oz.

Simene- He's a unique sort. In a way, he reminded me of my son, who is also a huge tech nerd. His awkward dress and hairstyle seem to be less about trying to be unique and more to do with not having a concept of style. This makes him highly awkward, even though he is smart.

I could totally see why Merci felt comfortable with him right away. Those of us who are awkward tend to be drawn to other awkward individuals. Awkward people don't quite know or in a lot of cases even try to conform to what society deems normal. This realness makes them seem more trustworthy.

The demon- I'm thinking this is the only interpretation she could come up with and it isn't a demon at all. Maybe it is a witchdoctor of sorts? That would tie in with the indigenous people in the prologue. I'm not sure, but I look forward to finding out.

The cat- Yes, I know it is just an animal, but Merci's cat plays an important part in two of the chapters. He's a lot like his owner in the way that he is not very trusting. In a way, he is a lot like a familiar, letting Merci know when there is a threat of danger. Likewise, he also confirms when she should trust someone. His immediate positive response to Simene is evidence of this.

Scenery
You weave these details into the showing of characters and plot so well. Little details like showing the Lord of the Rings etchings on the bookshelf, show more of Merci's personality. Details of her home, which are extravagant, matches the understanding that she has received a large inheritance.

When we meet Sam, we are shown disorder, which matches his indulgence in alcohol, but you focus a lot on those phones, which says they are significant. The fact that those phones are not modern, says they have been sitting there for a while most likely dormant. This matches other evidence in the chapter when we learn they use to ring constantly, yet have been silent for some time.

Plot
Chapter one introduces the reader to Maci. I was hoping to experience the same excellent imagery and detail that was in the prologue and I was not disappointed.

I have seen people have seizures, in some of the cases it was due to epilepsy and unfortunately in other cases an overdose. Due to this, I can say you were spot on with your descriptions when Merci experiences this. You either are familiar with this too or did an awful lot of research. Then you use what some people claim they experience during a seizure, which is sort of an outer body experience. In Merci's case, it is more like traveling. When she travels, I felt like I needed to remember every detail she sees because it will be important at some point in the novel.

Chapter two introduces us to Sam. I don't know if he will be an enemy or foe to the other characters. Like I mentioned, he is a scary man. Although, all the details like the phones, show that he is involved with something important and that the government might have some involvement in what is going on with the man in the prologue and with Merci.

Chapter three brings all the chapters together thus far without giving everything away. I'm wondering if Sam and The Great Oz are two of the military men she wrote about in her journal entry shown to Simene. Then there is that message, which ties in the character in the prologue.

I suspect that every detail in these three chapters is important, even that contraption Semine build will have its importance in the story. This makes me want to make sure and grasp every detail.

Mechanics
I only found one issue, which can be found in the chapter titled Simene.

guild line for creating an olive skinned girl- Did yo mean guideline?

The chapters flow so effortlessly, that I could not find any areas where things should be tightened up, expanded on etc. So far chapters are well edited and excellently written.

Final thoughts
The only disappointment I have is that I can't hold this in my hand and curl up on a couch to read it as I would normally do with a great novel. Instead, I have to experience it on the computer screen.

It took a lot of willpower putting this story down, which means it is a really awesome read. It is an honor being able to read this before publication. I have no doubt it will be published one day.

I'm off to meet The Great Oz now. I'll send you another review later today or tomorrow. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
78
78
for entry "Prologue
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Escape Artist . I'm here for your first review in your package won in the Icecream Social.

The hook
Wow, what a start! This prologue begins with so much imagery that I felt I was right there with this man, experiencing the dread of the storm.

Dialogue
There is only an internal dialogue, but it is executed so well and realistic to the man's experience.

Character Development
Mikhail is an interesting character. I could feel every emotion through your analogies and the internal sensations described, so much that I felt I was him.

I love this description:

The torrent of rain had stopped but a cold drizzle pushed by an equally frigid breeze accentuated his misery.- Reading this line, I could feel that chill in the air. Rather than just saying it is cold and wet, we are shown that frigid cold in a much more creative way.

The descriptions of the indigenous people are described well. Rather than calling Indians or indigenous people, you describe their way of dress and features. This puts the reader there, seeing them. I also got a sense that these two people saw him, too.

Scenery
You have expertly added the scenery into the actions of the story. I could see the emergency of the situation as waves crashed, breaking the ship in two. Then when he crawls up on that shore I could see the drizzle of rain and him grasping for that green grass.

I like the imagery you use when describing the other realm (that is what I am thinking it is). Using the contrast between the cold of where he is and the warmth beyond the border heightens the understanding that these are two different places. It is like he is on the border of another reality.

Plot
That last line of internal thought hooks me to read on. It is shocking but leads the reader to want to find out the answer to his question. Plus, the imagery displayed in this introduction gives me hope that the writing in further chapters will match it.

There are so many reasons to read on. For one, I am curious about these indigenous people and if this is where he is going to end up. The woman seemed to acknowledge him, so I can't help but wonder if she is going to hold some sort of importance in the story. Then again, he seemed to be rejected from that other world because his hand bounced back when he tried to reach for the grass. Yet, someone has taken hold of him, dragging him. I am curious about what is happening and what is going to happen.

Mechanics
I found one little error.

unimpressed with Mikhail’s presents(presence)

Final thoughts
This was a great start! I'm hooked and looking forward to the next chapter.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
79
79
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,sindbad ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
We are told that we are going to learn about a multi-bagger investment, which gave returns for thirty years. I was curious as to what this investment was, so it worked well as a hook.

Dialogue
There isn't really much dialogue. Most of the story is you telling the reader what you saw. There is one area where you use quotation marks, signifying there is dialogue, but it is confusing. In paragraph six quotation marks are out of place, making it difficult what is actually speaking and what is your telling of the story.

Character Development
You tell us perceptions of your parents. Your mother, I presume is outspoken, when it comes to investments and wants a nest egg for the future. Your father really doesn't like making investments because they are too risky. This makes me think he is a cautious type of man who doesn't like taking chances.

You write that "He did not meet the tenant" then write "gave back uncle (the tenant) the principal and 50%". These statements contradict each other. How could he not know the tenant if the tenant was an uncle? Later in the story, we learn this man became a close friend to the family, so I'm thinking maybe uncle became a term of endearment for him, yet this is never made clear to the reader.

Plot
I think this is a good story to show how helping others eventually comes back with bigger rewards. Your dad appears to be a kind and smart man.

The concept here was really good. I loved the ideas presented in the story. I just feel that it is mostly telling, which makes it difficult to connect to any characters. There are also some holes in the plot. For example, knowing your father's reasoning for giving this man the money would really help in adding an emotional tug on the reader's heart, especially when we learn what the man gives back to your family.

Mechanics

I found some errors which I felt need attention.

multi bagger'- multi-bagger

well wisher- well-wisher

sometimes when my mother looks back she says the the best investment

with this, the amount was forgotten about, till(untill)

Every Christmas uncle(Uncle) would send us (a) Christmas cake. - Uncle is given as a name, which makes it a propper noun. The same with Dad or Daddy. If you write my uncle or my daddy it is not capitalized, but if you present it as if it is their name, then it is now proper.

Uncle stared visiting our house regularly - started

Some times- Sometimes


Final thoughts
Thank you for sharing your life experience. This seems like something that was a good life lesson for you. Also, it looks like you were lucky to have a wonderful father.

Thank you for submitting to the official contest. It was a pleasure reading your writing. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
80
80
Review of Fear of Heights  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Chris Breva ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
Within the first few sentences, we learn that you are afraid of heights. There has been a heavy wind, which will require someone to repair the roof. Knowing that a fear of heights was involved and being introduced to the dilemma which required fighting that fear, I wondered how you would accomplish it. So, those first few sentences did pique my interest.

Dialogue
There is a little bit of dialogue. What is there is realistic. Although, we don't get much body language with the dialogue to show the emotional state of the characters speaking. Instead, you tell us they "said". Adding body language would help the reader see the characters speaking.

Character Development
There really isn't much character development at all. We get a sense of your emotions because you express that you were afraid. The other character there really isn't so much description. We just know they aren't afraid of heights and they help in finding a compromise so that you too can take part in the repairs.

Scenery
There really isn't much scenery either. We just know they are on a roof, which needs repair.

Plot
The plot is interesting. It is relatable to many because a fear of hights is pretty common. It also follows the prompt in an interesting way. Rather than fighting your fear, you found a compromise.

Although, I feel with the word count allowance for this contest you could have shown this story more, rather than telling us swiftly. Pretty much the whole story is telling, rather than showing.

For example, you could have shown us your fear through internal struggles and action, rather than just tell us you were paralyzed by fear. Maybe you stopped breathing? Chest heaving? There are a lot of internal sensations that could occur while someone becomes frozen, unable to move.

Mechanics
mechanically, there were no issues. As far as grammar and spelling are concerned, this is a well-edited story.

Final thoughts
The story itself is a good use of the prompt. I just felt you could have utilized the word allowance to the contest more so to your advantage, showing this story, rather than telling us.

Thank you for your submission to the contest. It was a pleasure reading you today.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
81
81
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Christopher Roy Denton ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest.

The hook
Right away you introduce me to the main character and his fear. It is a common fear, but the fact that he acquired it through some sort of trauma in the jungle peeks interest and also creates sympathy for the main character. This works well as a hook. Not only do you establish that it is going to follow the fear prompt, but it also identifies the conflict in the story.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed very well. Their speech is realistic to the characters and shows their unique personalities. For example, Sonali's body language shows annoyance and so does her speech.

Character Development
Character development is probably the best aspect of the writing in this story, which is good. Without well-defined characters, I feel many stories fall flat, not holding the reader's interest.

We learn through Sonali mentioning finding him on "hug-a-hero" that he is a veteran, which means the jungle accident happened most likely in war, possibly Vietnam. Knowing this, sort of makes Sonali look like not such an understanding human. I mean, she knows he is a veteran, but judges him for having the fear of heights without bothering to ask why. Then instead, she leaves him with an insult.

Your descriptions of Ken were creative. I love how you show his age in a not so cliche way by saying "he was more a raisin than a grape." Also, the little girl is shown clearly and her emotions are realistic to her age and the situation. I could see that poor thing hanging on to that drainpipe, crying.

Scenery
There are no long boring descriptions which take the reader out of the story, and instead, the scenery descriptions are thrown into the actions of the story. For example, we know they are standing in front of a Feris wheel in the beginning of the story because of the conversation about heights. Then we get an image of the scenery when we meet the young girl hanging onto the drainpipe.

Plot
Once we are introduced to the young girl in danger, since the man is a hero, I pretty much figured he would fight his fear of heights. Although, the little extra twist at the end was a sweet surprise.

Mechanics
You usually put out well-edited pieces, void of grammar issues, and this story is no different. I couldn't find any issues to trip over.

Final thoughts
This was a great little story and a good use of the prompt. Thank you for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
82
82
Review of The Decision  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Soldier_Mike ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
Great hook! We are shown that the main character is nervous because he is perspiring and thrown into a situation he never envisioned himself in. I was intrigued to know what the situation was.

Dialogue
The dialogue showing the dynamics between father and son was executed well. I could feel the conflict in their discussion. Then the short dialogue at the end is very professional sounding, which makes sense he is being spoken to by members of the company.

Character Development
The main character and the father are built up well in the telling of the story. The son is used to getting the best of things without having to try too hard due to his father's hard work. He does not fight his fears and instead avoids having to face them all together. Then, he is forced to man-up for the greater good.

At first, I got a sense that the young man was selfish and spoiled. He has all the luxurious without having to work for them. Then, in the end, we see he has a compassionate side because he thinks of the employees and their families.

Scenery
There really isn't much scenery. It isn't really needed so much to show the story you've shared, but it might help some if we know what type of company it is besides just the name. It would add to the imagery in the story.

Plot
You entwined the prompt well into the plot. You used both a fear and force the character to do something against their nature for the greater good of others. Good job on that!

I do feel there was a bit more showing than telling here. We are told mostly background story, from the perception of the son. So, it makes most of the story a flashback of sorts.

Mechanics
I didn't really see any issues that stand out or caused me to trip over while reading.

Final thoughts
Overall, you used the prompt well and it was an interesting read. Thank you for submitting to the contest and sharing your imagination with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
83
83
Review of I Met God  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Victoria Anne Emslie ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
The first paragraph sets the scene by introducing the fact that the main character is fulfilling an assignment. Due to the nature of what she has chosen to do with the assignment, I suspected she would learn something profound, so I wanted to read on to learn what life lesson it would be.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed exceptionally well in this story. The only suggestion I have here is maybe when God is speaking, use italics. Not using italics doesn't affect the clarity of those areas, but it would show that only she can hear God in her head as if it is an internal thought implanted by him.

Character Development
Characters are defined well, especially Carla. It is not mentioned, but I get a sense that she is already a believer in God, but doesn't understand how someone who seemingly has lost everything could also believe. She is also a bit fearless because she does not fear coming up to three male homeless strangers. Instead, she seems quite confident when she approaches them. Some people would be cautious, not necessarily because they are homeless, but more so because a woman with three strange men could end up being a scary situation.

She also seems to have an artists mind, which is fitting since she is a photographer. Us artists seem to view things a bit differently, seeing bits of things others neglect to see, like the photo with the light above the men's heads due to the firelight.

The houseless men are interesting. I like how you show their individual stories and show how they have things to be grateful for. Little details like showing us the man's scar help us to see these characters.

Scenery
The scenery is done well when we are learning about the three men. It is easy to imagine the typical scene, which is often in movies, where people are standing around a bin to keep warm.

Plot
I thought it was a good plot. The theme was inspiring and it gives a different perspective on the homeless, which is not often seen in writing.

This story fits the prompt as far as the doing something for the greater good part. Although, I'm not really understanding where the doing something she fears or detests comes into play in this story. It seems as if she is following the path she was already on, but with the extra guidance from God.

Mechanics
“How did you come to believe in god(God)?”

she felt that it gave each photo a sense of the Other than she assumed god would give any situation.- This part of the sentence needs some clarity. I'm not really sure what you mean by "sense of the Other". Also, "God" needs to be capitalized.


Final thoughts
Overall, this was a great story. It was well written and you should be very proud of it.

Thank you for sharing your story! I've enjoyed the read. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
84
84
Review of Toward Darkness  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,🌕 HuntersMoon ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
The first paragraph introduces us to poor aging Bob. The details there are great with him looking into the dirty glass to see his reflection. Although, the real hook here is when we learn he has lost his job. It is then that we begin to understand that Bob is homeless due to unemployment.

Dialogue
Dialogue is handled very well. I liked the bit when he is mumbling to himself at the beginning of the story. It shows he's an angry and discontent man. Then toward the end, dialogue carries us through the hilarious conclusion.

Character Development
This man's character is built exceptionally well. Like I mentioned earlier, he seems very angry. Although, we learn why and can't blame him for feeling the way he does. Then when he is given that choice, in a way I wanted him to keep the money, even though it might not be the moral thing to do.

Scenery
The scenery is pretty basic but added to the actions of the story. Personally, I don't feel there is a need for more in order to show this story.

Plot
I thought the plot was hilarious. This is mostly due to the contrast of the situations. The situation with Bob is pretty traumatic, while the angels and dark lord are nonchalant.

It follows the prompt well too. He makes a decision against his morality for his own survival, which is doing something they detest for the greater good. Well, the greater good for his own needs that is.

Mechanics
I didn't see any areas to trip over. It is a well-edited story.

Final thoughts
This was an entertaining read! Although, I should not be surprised you'd throw a bit of humor into the plot.

Thank you for sharing your writing, Ken. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
85
85
Review of Fran's Father  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,PureSciFiPlus ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
The story begins with a child's nightmare of a burnt man in a house. It piqued my curiosity because sometimes nightmares can be acquired from traumatic events. So, I wondered if it was a memory of sorts. So, it works as a hook.

Dialogue
Dialogue is executed fairly well. Most of it is conversational. I found it strange that the daughter called her dad Father. The reason being, usually kids will say, Dad, Daddy, Pappa, or some other cultural term of endearment for father. Father is just too formal.

In many areas where you have speaking it seems matter of fact during traumatic events. This is mostly because there is no body language or internal emotions to express the intensity of the situation. So, maybe if you get around to adding to this story, you might want to add those elements to it.


Character Development
Fran is a strong young woman, mentally and physically. This is apparent when she takes charge by breaking the chair and turning over the table. The father seems a bit weaker in some respects. He sort of gives up when beneath the table. Although, when his daughter was in the same situation he seemed strong.

Although it is adrenaline which gives Fran the ability to lift the table off of her father, I find it strange that she would be able to drag his heavy body such a long distance without him showing signs of agony along the way. After all, if he was that hurt, dragging him might cause more damage and pain.

Was the man stealing food from houses the burned man? I was a little confused about that, so maybe a little bit of clarity to let the reader know for sure would help in making this clear.


Scenery
There are some interesting bits of scenery displayed. We have a bomb shelter, which makes me wonder if this takes place in the past or future. Very few homes have bomb shelters these days. Although, the correlation with her envisioning it in her nightmares makes for an intriguing story.

Plot
I thought that the concept in this story was an interesting take on the prompt. Fran is having nightmares, which are actually due to something in her father's past. They also entwine with her own experience of being trapped when a dilapidated home begins to collapse. This sets up the dilemma for her to have to choose to fight through her own fears from her nightmares and instead use the nightmares as a psychic resource to find safety.

I got a little confused with the way you split this story up. When the first part cuts off, I thought we were going to learn how it was the father's fault. Instead, we are taken to the daughter where she is warned not to go across the street and told about a man who is stealing food from homes. Then we are taken to the daughter's experience at four years old. We don't actually get to the events of why she is dreaming about a burned man for a while.

Final thoughts
I thought the concepts here were very creative and they utilized the prompt well. I just feel it needs a bit of tuning up in the showing of the story.

Thank you for sharing your writing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
86
86
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,RobertJ ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
Since I'm American, I know what the symbolism is with the shot heard around the world, so I was pretty sure it would be about the Revolutionary War. Most of us learn about this in school. I was curious if you were going to put a new twist on the old classic stories.

Then the story begins by introducing us to Paul, who is tied up. I thought this was a good start because it introduces the reading audience to drama right away. I was curious why he was tied up.

What I liked

I thought you did well following the prompt. Paul putting his life in danger by choosing to be a spy is a great example of someone doing something for the greater good. In a way, he is lying, which is probably against his morality, but he is doing so for a greater purpose.

My suggestions
I thought the dialogue was executed pretty well. The words spoken matched what was going on during the time and the tone they spoke in matched situations. Although, I do have a little suggestion here. The characters speak like they do now in modern times, but back then they spoke much different using words we do not commonly use now. They also had their own slang. Some of these elements would have added to this story making it feel more realistic.

Also, I found a few errors, which I felt need your attention.

Sun light(Sunlight) beamed through a crack

counter spy- counterspy

business man- businessman

behind the llead(lead) musket ball

one third- one-third

The man walked over and spoke as to him

seventy seven- seventy-seven

battle field- battlefield


Final thoughts
I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing it and submitting it to the contest *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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87
Review of Worth Saving  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Jay O'Toole ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
The story begins with an introduction to Matt. Although, the actual hook is when we learn Matt has a huge bias against gays. The introduction of him mostly serves to soften his character, once that flaw is shown. I was interested to know whether there would be something which would change his views.

Dialogue
The dialogue was executed well. At first, I thought the bit where he asks him if he's right with God was a little forced. Then I realized it was intentional, possibly to show how doing so could seem judgmental to the other person. Like the main character contemplates, he didn't really get to know the guy first.

Character Development
I thought Matt's character was well developed. Character's with flaws are more dimentional, hense more believable. He's a Godly man, but he has an issue with people who are gay. In a way, due to his childhood experiences, he is sort of trying to prove something to himself, or at least that is the perception I got.

Scenery
The scenery is pretty basic, but there really isn't any more that needs to be shown in order to see the story.

Plot
You followed the prompt well. Matt has an issue with homosexuality, yet he saves a gay man from a fire. There is a little bit of a lesson for both men at the end. Maybe both of them should not be so judgmental right away.

Mechanics
You've turned in a well-edited story, so from my perception, this is error free.

Final thoughts
Thank you for sharing your story to the contest. It was a pleasure reading your story today. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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88
Review of The Good Shepherd  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)

** Image ID #2097750 Unavailable **


Hi,Than Pence ! I'm here to review this as one of the judges for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest

The hook
The story begins with drama. We learn that the main character is obviously nervous or hurt due to his throat being restricted. Then we learn he has been presented with a choice. These qualities do well in hooking the reader.

Dialogue
The spoken words between quotation marks are expressed well. It is conversational, while avoiding being unrealistically formal.

I did have to struggle a bit trying to figure out who was actually speaking sometimes. This is due to you adding body language or actuals of two or more characters and then dialogue. Below is an example, but the issue is throughout.

Mil’jon smiled coldly. Thomas felt sick. “I knew where you’d be when faced with this choice.”

Character Development
Mil'jon is an interesting villain in the story. He's forcing Thomas to make a choice between power or the person Thomas loves.

I would not call Thomas a moral hero. He absorbs people to gain his powers, which isn't a very kind attribute. Although he is capable of love, which is a positive trait.

I found Jessica to be the most interesting character. I like the way you describe her washing the crystal, it is symbolic of washing Thomas' sins away, or at least that is the way I understood it. She's self-sacrificing because she is letting him know it is alright to choose to not absorb his flock to keep her alive.

Scenery
Scenery is executed well. I could see that Mil'jon and Thomas were outside, but then when he is with Jessica, they are in their home.

Plot
I feel you added all of the elements of the prompt. In order to make a choice for the higher good, he had to let the woman he loved die. It works as a good plot to a story.

Mechanics

I found some errors which I feel need your attention. Your words are in blue and mine are in black

Or killed Jessica. If she’s not dead- You forgot the period after dead.

“Oh,” he said, his smiling(smile) curling

Twenty feet way(away) stood Mil’jon

That revelation (made) Thomas flinch

Final thoughts
Overall, I think you handled the prompt well. I just feel you need some clarity within the dialogue so that we know who is speaking.

Thank you for sharing your writing. It has been a pleasure reading your story. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
89
89
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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While browsing the random read and reviews, I ran across yet another of your poems. This is a lovely verse. I love the symbolism here.

This is obviously a spiritual poem. You seem to be using the passing of night and day as a metaphor for spiritual progression. In the darkness, you listen for the creator's voice, then embrace the light which he/she brings. Or, at least that is what I perceived from your words, especially since I know your spiritual path is an important element in your daily life.

These lines are my favorite:

Where the world bleeds white,
I inhale the fragrance of your passing
,

The reason I appreciate these lines is because it represents death as not a bad thing. It is part of the cycle of life, just as the passing of light and dark.

Overall, wonderful verse. Thank you for sharing, Snow. *Heart*

90
90
Review of The Sale  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi, Jacky! While browsing the random read and reviews I came across this flash fiction. I'm thinking it was probably written for a flash fiction contest with a limited word count. I think you did well with the limited word count.

The hook
We know her day has begun stressful. Most days which begin in such a way are typically catastrophic, with little mishaps throughout the day. I was curious as to what her experiences would be.

Dialogue
Dialogue was done well. There wasn't a lot, but what is here is fitting to the characters and story.

Character Development
I really get a sense of this woman's want and need for this hair equipment. It is on sale, so today is probably the only day she can afford it.

Scenery
There isn't really much scenery. The most important aspect of this story takes place in the story. I imagined a typical store. There really wasn't much need for more to show the story.

Plot
The plot was humorous! I liked the conclusion. With such a limited word count you were able to put a story together with a twist and good conclusion. Well done!

Mechanics
I found a few areas which I feel need attention, but they are an easy fix.

She was determined, she was sure the new Roseo hair dryer would solve all her problems. - This is a run-on sentence. Maybe consider putting an "and" between the two or making them two completely different sentences.

her makeup all smudged, especially under her eyes, dried coffee stains- needs an "and" after the "dried coffee stains"

Final thoughts
Overall, great little story here. Thank you for sharing! *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Dame Frolicsome  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hi, Dame! While browsing the random read and reviews, I came across this little poem. It was a great little read. Well written!

My first thoughts were that this is someone young. When we are young we crave the challenge. The bad girls or bad guys are seen as a possible conquest. As we get older, after being burned we sometimes change our thinking with this.

The syllable count you have chosen, sort of makes this feel staccato. This works with the content because it resembles that quickened heartbeat or adrenaline rush when in such a relationship or in that stage of newness.

Overall, great poem. Thank you for sharing your writing. *Heart*


92
92
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Sonali! I ran across this fun little story while browsing the random read and reviews. Funny thing is, my birthday was two days ago and I made dinner, rather than someone treating me. So, I could so relate to this. Although I'm a pretty good cook. If I would have read this first, maybe I would not have been such a good cook that night. *Bigsmile* Good way to get them to treat you. Funny! I'll have to remember this for next year.

This was a fun read. At first, I was thinking, how rude that you have to empty your bank account to appease on your birthday. I mean, isn't it them who is supposed to do for you. Then again, I really don't take that advice myself.

Mechanically, this is written well. It flows from paragraph to paragraph without any confusing bits or structural issues. I didn't run across any grammar or spelling issues, either. it is well edited.

The story flows at a fast speed. I thought the "anniversary of the previous birthday" was a cute way of expressing Birthday. Then the details flow effortlessly, keeping the reader glued to the story. I was curious of what kind of mischief the main character would do in order to change the norm of her going broke on her own birthday. Although her mischief isn't intentional, it was funny.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I'm glad this was my first read of the morning. It was good to start my day with some giggles. *Bigsmile*




93
93
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Ridinghood! While browsing the random read and reviews this morning, I came across this lovely verse.

The emotions expressed in this poem is one of free love and peace. There were some interesting analogies. I looked up dragonfly children just in case it meant something else, but I'm assuming it means what I first assumed. Dragonflies have wings and they sparkle in the darkness, so I equated it to children having wings to pursue whatever they imagine and shining brightly.

Jazz politicians asleep at the wheel was an interesting analogy as well. It seemed you were referring to the ignorance within politics. Then the last stanza encourages this interpretation as you are equating the President as the blind leading the blind.

The abac rhyme scheme is consistent, helping this poem flow. To be honest, I didn't even know it rhymed until the second read through. So, apparently, there were no areas which felt forced for me to stumble over.

Overall, great poem. Thank you for sharing. *Heart*
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94
Review of Wasted Talent  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi, Angus! I found another one of your stories while browsing the random read and reviews. This was a short but impactful read.

There's a lot of character development thrown in this short write. That is not easy to do with such a small word count. Everyone around is discouraging with his dreams of art, yet he is persistent in trying. As an artist, this art teacher sort of annoyed me. Not everyone's art is the same. It is an individual expression.

At first, I was wondering why we don't get this young man's name. We get a lot of details about his life and those around him, but he is just referred to "he" or "him". Although, once we get to the end we find out who this young man is. Then it made sense why you left his name a secret until the end.

Great story, Angus. I was glued from beginning to end and the surprise conclusion was wonderful. Thanks for sharing your writing. *Bigsmile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
95
95
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Jody! While browsing the random read and reviews, I ran across this wonderful story. I'm glad I did. It was quite moving and inspirational.


The character development is done so well. I really get a sense of this young man. He's got flaws, which makes him dimensional and real to the reader. He's just a normal college kid. He would rather be out having fun with his friends than working with his grandfather. He's a little selfish, which doesn't make him a bad person, just normal. We all have selfish moments.

The grandfather seems like a good guy. He lost his wife and is looking for meaning. That too makes for a dimensional character. I felt like I wanted to sit and hang out with the guy and learn more of his stories. I loved that little story about mowing and how he equated it to his military years.

The bottle cap souvenier bit was a great addition to this story. It ties everything together and makes that wonderful ending more impactful. In a way, that bottle cap will mark an important learning experience. Not only has he done something for someone who can not do it himself, but since the young man is his age, he's learned a life lesson about self-sacrifice, appreciating the life he has, and appreciating those who made his comfortable life possible.

An overall amazing story, Jody. I am so happy I ran across this story. It was a wonderful read to end my reviewing day with. Thank you for sharing.
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96
Review of New Beginnings  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi, Elby! I ran across this verse while browsing the random read and reviews. I enjoyed reading it, so figured I would share my thoughts.

I felt this was an inspirational verse. It is as if you are telling the reader that hardships are just part of the cycle and one must choose to find joy to get through it a little easier. After all, like you express, "We can not control nor re-arrange." There is a level of acceptance in order not to allow life's tribulations from stopping us from happiness.

There was one little error that I found. In stanza three you use "it's" when it should be "its". "Its" shows possession, while "it's" actually means "it is".

Besides that easy to fix error, this was well written. Thank you for sharing.
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Review of Crushed Petals  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Ken! I'm back for another review. Thank you for your submission to the Rebel Poetry Contest.

This was a lovely poem. It shows the ignorance most of us face during youth. Unfortunately, we sometimes have to learn the difference between real love and manipulations the hard way.

I loved the title of this poem! It is so symbolic and matches the poem so well. Typically when we think of rose petals, we think of that sweet aroma. Although, like love, when crushed, it is bittersweet. Excellent analogy!

Your repeated lines flow effortlessly into the poem. Sometimes repeated lines can be tricky and end up sounding forced. Yours do not, which shows your poetic skill.

The only issue I found is you seem to have forgotten the end punctuation in the last line. Although, that is an easy fix.


Thank you for your continued support of the contest. I look forward to your next submission. *Heart*

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98
Review of My Life  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi, Bob! I'm reviewing this because it was submitted to the July/August round in the "Rebel Poetry Contest.

For someone who doesn't like free verse, you do write it well. *Bigsmile*

I love the sarcasm in the verse! The parody between the subject of the poems perceptions of his life and those who are more successful to him and their own superiority complex towards those who suffer more was done well. It worked perfectly with the chosen prompt.

You had warned about British slang and profanities, which I'm thinking you feared some of us Americans wouldn't understand. I understood it quite perfectly. Anything foreign to me I was able to understand its meaning through the context.

For example, I don't know what Coutts is, but with the references surrounding it, it was obvious that it is a type of credit card. Then when I researched it, I found out some interesting facts. It is actually quite a prominent bank and one of the oldest financial institutions.

I thought this was an excellent poem and perfect for the contest. Thank you for submitting it. Hopefully, you will submit more entries to future rounds.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Screens  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Come on in and join the fun!


Hi, Jeff! I'm here to review your poem "Screens, which was submitted to the July/August round in the "Rebel Poetry Contest.


The title is catchy! It matches the theme of the poem, too. Then when I looked at the poem, the form matched the shape of the image, which is visually appealing.

I don't know if you did it on purpose, but within lines three to five there are similarities among the words. Each word in the third line begins with "en". You use assonance in the fourth line with the repeated "o" sound. Then you use assonance again in the fifth line with the repeated "a" sound.

I like how your words begin pretty harmless with screens being "hypnotic" and "bright", then the words descend to a stronger view of showing the dangers encountered through the manipulations on the television.

Overall, great little poem and good use of the prompt. *Heart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
100
100
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Thank you for your support of the "Rebel Poetry Contest with your continued entries. I always enjoy your submissions. *Bigsmile*

That pesky raccoon has challenged me to review a fellow challenger in the hunt. I've decided to review all participants who enter my contests now, so why not hit two birds with one stone. *Bigsmile*

I got a belly laugh at your take on the prompt. When we get to the medications, I just about spit my coffee out onto my computer screen. Even reading it again, I can't help but laugh. You have a gift for comedy.

The imagery you show of the disturbed woman with an imagined partner is a unique take on this prompt. I love that it fits, but is something I totally didn't expect to read in reference to the Bjork video. Although, I should have expected it. She does display disturbed individuals in the video. *Bigsmile*

I could not find any fault with your poem. It was an excellently written verse, with no areas for me to fumble over. The rhyme scheme was creative, too!

Hopefully, you will continue to enter. I always enjoy your submissions. *Heart*

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