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This will show our fight with Fibromyalgia, so others can learn that it's real. |
This blog will chronicle my battle with Fibromyalgia, sometimes comparing it to the battle my wife, Kenzie  has with the same illness. Many don't believe it's an actual illness, though its existence is recognized more and more in the medical community. I'm hoping that by shedding some light on what it can do to a person we can make others aware that it is indeed real, and that it can hit anyone of any age at any time. It's not deadly, by any means, but it can drastically change your life. It can be a real and aggravating pain in more ways than one (pun intended). MANY more ways.
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| I said a while back that I feel sometimes like I'm rapidly catching up with Kenzie when it comes to the Fibro symptoms and pains that I am encountering. Tonight is supporting that statement. It is now 11:08 P.M. and just within the last 5 minutes, another new and unusual pain has started. Reach around your back with your right hand. Just beyond the middle of your back toward your left side, and just below the halfway point from your shoulders to your waist, imagine a vertical line about 3 inches long and about 1/4 inch wide. In that small space, either the nerves in my skin are acting up, or I have a slightly tightened muscle. But the pain is constant, as if it's an irritation, such as the sensitivity momentarily left when you squeeze a pimple and pop it. Only this time, that "irritation" didn't come from a pimple, and it isn't going away. Not only that, but, like i said above, it's about 3 inches long. That's the best I can do right now to describe it. It isin't debilitating, doesn't slow me down like my aching legs can, but it's a royal nuisance in terms of not going away. Hopefully it will be gone in the morning. We will see. |
| Yep, you read it right. The last 36-48 hours have brought a new symptom, and a bout with an old one at a different time. As I took some things to the trash can and recycling bin in back of the house last night, going DOWN the driveway was no problem. But walking back UP the driveway brought on a new Fibro symptom - for me. The legs didn't hurt much at all at that point. But, they decided to be different. They decided they were almost too tired to do that walk back up the driveway. From the waist up, I felt fine. Wide awake, no back pain for once, all the good stuff. But from the waist down, I was dead tired. When I told her about it today on the phone from work, she put into words exactly what it felt like. See, she's had this one before. That's why it's only new for ME. Her response to my statement about how it felt was, "Yep, you end up telling your legs, 'C'mon, you can do this. Just a little farther, a little farther. One step at a time." Boy does she have THAT right!  And that old symptom? Fatigue. This time it hit me on the way home from work, not waiting for the weekend. And by the time I got here, just before 6:00 P.M., I was dragging. And Kenzie noticed it. When I commented about how I felt, she said, "Yeah, you look tired, too." In the next part of our conversation, she talked about going to the Kroger store this afternoon but only getting a few things because by the time she got those, HER energy was gone. She's going to get those other things tomorrow. These two examples, hers and mine, are EXCELLENT ones for one thing I've said before. With the two of us going through life with Fibro together, we have the luxury of not having to explain the fatigue, the many different pains, or anything about how we're feeling to each other in a way they can understand, like so many patients have to do, many defending themselves on a daily. Basis. We don't have to do that because OUR partner ALREADY understands the WHOLE story, in all the painful and tiring detail. And that, in itself, is a major relief to both of us, especially on our truly bad days. With the weather variations we're getting, we'll both have to wait and see what the next 24, 36 or 48 hours will bring each of us. I'll check in and let you know. May God bless all of you for your understanding and support in our daily battle. |
| Yep. A bit of everything from the fibro, I mean. It started with the legs this morning, about an hour after I got up. Then, after Kenzie and I hit a few yard and garage sales looking for a kitchen table and chairs, we were sitting on the porch chatting when I noticed that I was starting to feel tired, or at least a bit short on energy. And I'd only been up about 4 to 4 1/2 hours. I went to the store to pick up some milk, figuring I'd better do that before my energy level got too low. Luckily, sometime after that I must have gotten the energy back, but don't ask me how. I'm not used to the Fibro-fatigue backing off that quickly. I came in here and got onto Writing. I wanted to finally get that second entry into my new blog while I had enough time and was (now) awake enough to get all the way through it. Shortly after that, I went outside with Kenzie to talk to our friend Matt and his girlfriend Tina. They were cleaning up the driveway apron for us. There was a lot of sediment covering about half of it from the rains we'd had so far this summer. Matt was clearing that off the apron, and edging the perimeter. With that in mind, I got curious where the actual turning point in the apron was located. As he kept sweeping the sediment, I picked up the shovel and started scooping up the dirt and grass that had overgrown the perimeter of the driveway on the far side of the garage door. When I thought I had it cleaned to the edge, I switched to the spade and started using that to push down at the edge and outline it so we knew where the driveway edge stopped on that side. The result? By the time Matt and I took a break, not only were my legs hurting, now my back was, too. I'd been on my feet too long, with the talking, then the digging, and the talking again, and I was now paying for it. Problem is, it's now over 2 hours later, and my legs and back are still hurting. Not only that, but this time my back hurts no matter what position I'm in. Sitting normally takes the edge off most of my back pains. But not this time. It hurts right now, and no end is in sight. I've already hit the Neproxen, but I'm darn glad I don't work tomorrow. I think it's liable to be a bit of a long night. We shall see, when I check in next. While I'm here, I'd like to thank all of you who are praying that we are able to sell one or more of the pianos soon. Your thoughtfulness and your prayers are appreciated. |
| Sooner than I thought. What I forgot to mention in my last entry was the crazy pain I felt during all those hours of studying. Sitting here at my PC desk, I sometimes laid the book on my oversize keyboard shelf, sometimes holding the oversize textbook (about 10 x 14 inches, 470 pages) as you would a novel. When I'd lean forward, with the book on the keyboard shelf, my shoulders and right elbow would kill me. I'd end up trying to find a comfortable position for my right arm that would take away the elbow pain, which was the worst of them. No luck. But all those pains would scale back if I sat back and held the book. They were still there, but not as painful. But, it got uncomfortable holding that somewhat heavy, awkward book with both hands so I could sit back. So, I had to alternate. It got me through the studying, but with up to 12 more courses to go, I gotta find a more workable position. We'll see if I can find one before the next course, which should be sometime in October if I remember correctly (there are two testing windows a year). And that will be here before I know it. |
| Well, that's true this time. It was studying for a test on the operations of insurance companies that kept me from making entries on recent days. I started last Friday night, and used all waking hours that night, Saturday, and Sunday except for church, and Monday night. I read the last 7 pages Tuesday morning at church right before taking the 3 hour test. There will be another test for me in late fall if I stay on schedule. I'm shooting for two insurance industry certifications. This first one Fellow, Life Management Institute (FLMI), has nine more courses. The second one, Associate, Reinsurance Administration (ARA), will follow when I take only 3 additional courses. So, yes, I'm back in school.  . But, that doesn't stop the Fibro. I have to take a Neproxen for pain before the test. And yesterday and today were back to the painful normal I have grown to expect. The legs hurt like mad all day. And when I get up from here, they will still be burting. Sheesh. But, the Fibro is something Kenzie and I have both learned to live with. And it's not going to stop my educational goals, anymore than it's stopped anything else in my life to this point. Especially since Kenzie and I make such a good team in fighting the Fibro. See you all next time! |
| And this one was my turn. My day was actually back to its most common combination of symptoms today. And for once that was welcome. I did OK early on, not even having knee pains. Had an occasional one-shot pain in an arm or a leg once in a while, but not much, if any more than that. By late afternoon, I just began to feel the old pain in the legs, and my first thought was to be thankful it had waited once again and not bugged me all day. And they're still at it right now, as I write this. I took my Nortriptylene about 10 minutes ago so it should kick in shortly. Kenzie's day, however, has been anything but normal. I'll let her tell the details in her blog; she can say it much better than I, especially with as unusual as this day started out for her. Suffice to say that her stomach has been at it again, but this time she found it out in a different way. Thankfully, it's backed off for the moment. Hopfully, it will leave her alone for a while. |
| With Fibro, a patient never really knows when a pain is going to hit, where it's going to hit the body, or the form it will take (ache, stabbing pain, spasm, etc.) But, once you can get to the point where you are able to accept the fact that you have Fibro, it frees your mind to help you deal with it in additional ways. Like learning what, if any, patterns your form of it MIGHT take. Example? Kenzie and I went into high gear this afternoon to clean the kitchen and living room thoroughly, and now we're paying for that. She said she's feeling it more than usual, and that's an important statement coming from her since she's usually in constant pain already. My legs are hurting worse than they have for a few weeks now. It hurts to walk, to sit, only laying down or sitting on something high enough so my feet are NOT on the floor will get the pain to even subside a bit, much less go away. But at least, having dealt with it for a few years now, she and I know we can expect extra pain after any sort of vigorous exercise or work. We had no choice because with the possibility of visitors this evening or tomorrow, we had to get things done. But, at least we know our bodies well enough to know what to expect. No, we still don't know the FORM the pain will take, but at least we know what to expect, and are more able to deal with it. And somehow, having at least a minor sense of predictability to the Fibro on occasion let's us feel, in a small way, like we have some control over when we hurt. We can't make any pain go away once it starts, but at least we can anticipate when some of those pains will START. See you all next time! |
| Yep, tonight is a mixture. For the third or fourth night in a row now, the Fibro fatigue has hit me earlier than it used to, and sometimes made it hard to finish things I wanted or needed to do. And, to a slight degree, I would sometimes feel that the following morning when it was time to get up for work. And along with that fatigue, came the formerly reliable leg pains. Yep, like the movie trailer said, "They're baaaack!" Today I cut the grass, and stood watching my daugher Tiffany on her pogostick. Standing still always gets to my back, and today it got to the legs, too. But since it had rained buckets only an hour or so before, I couldn't sit in a chair on the porch unless I wanted a wet backside in the bargain. And with the stiff breeze we had, that would have been a bit too chilly. Things began winding down energy-wise around 6 PM or so, and I knew it. Thankfully I got a moderate second wind because I was expecting a return call from a gentleman in Kansas about two of the pianos I have advertised. I didn't dare fall asleep before talking to him. I got through that fine, thanks to the Lord working with me to keep the fatigue from bringing the Fog - Fibro Fog - along with it. I say that because at one point I realized I came within an inch of calling the gentleman by the wrong name. As for the pianos, nothing firm yet but with God's help that will change soon. As I sit here finishing this, the fatigue has progressed and is going to shut me down shortly, so I had better cut to the quick here. The final topic, that pogo record? This afternoon, Tiffany bounced on her pogo stick a record (for her, that is) 116 consecutive times. Needless to say, her legs are killing her tonight. {e:smile). But she's already said it's worth it. Her goal is 130, and I have no doubt she'll be practicing again tomorrow afternoon after church. Go for it, Tiff. I think it's a given that you'll reach your goal (of 130). Nice work, Kiddo! I'm off to sleep, all. See you next time! |
| Here I am, checking in after all that work today. The result? Let's put it this way. Everything on my list in the earlier entry this afternoon got done except for the leaves. The grass is cut, the branches picked up, Piewacket got the walk she's wanted since early this morning, and I got the pictures taken of the grand. By the time all that got done, when I stopped to rest a bit with some ice water, I realized that was going to be it for the major work today. My back was hurting in a way it never had before (straight across my whole back at the waistline), and my legs were killing me. Now, at almost midnight (it'll be after midnight when this gets posted), my back is a LITTLE bit better, thanks to Kenzie's vibrating pillow, but it's still aching a bit, and my legs never backed off at all. As I sit here they're both killing me, almost 12 hours after I started doing all those things. Kenzie and I talked about that a little while ago as we sat on the porch, and we agreed that the articles she's read that said if Fibro patients get plenty of exercise they will feel less pain, can't be right, or apply to only certain patients. Because the opposite is true for Kenzie and I: the more we work physically, the worse we hurt when we finally stop. Hopefully the Naproxen and Nortriptylene will kick in soon and solve that problem, letting me get some sleep tonight. But, we'll have to wait and see. I'm off to bed. See you all next time. |
| I sure hope not! THe last 3 or 4 days I've had the same issue or two, starting about the same time, stealing a good bit of energy and therefore changing plans. For quite a while I've noticed that I slow down a little during the drive home from work. But until recently that didn't lead to anything else; once I got home and rested a bit checking email, I've been good to go for the evening. But the last 3 or 4 days this past week, the fatigue never really left when I got home. I was sometimes caught in a situation where I'd want to get some things done - not feeling tired enough for a nap - but not feeling like I had the energy to do them either. I hate that. So today I have to get ambitious while I can. In no particular order: cut the grass, take the cat (Piewacket) for a walk before she drives us crazy , clean up the fallen tree branches in the back yard, and what's left of the leaves from last fall. It got too cold and wet too quickly for me to get them after they fell. Between the weather at the time and the Fibro I couldn't get them done. And finally, clearing some things away from in front of one of the baby grands in the basement so I can get close up pictures of certain parts of it for a potential buyer. It's going to be very interesting to see how badly I do or don't hurt after doing all of that. I'm rather curious myself. Guess it's time to start finding out. See all of you next time, hopefully tonight to check in after all this! |
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