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This will show our fight with Fibromyalgia, so others can learn that it's real. |
This blog will chronicle my battle with Fibromyalgia, sometimes comparing it to the battle my wife, Kenzie  has with the same illness. Many don't believe it's an actual illness, though its existence is recognized more and more in the medical community. I'm hoping that by shedding some light on what it can do to a person we can make others aware that it is indeed real, and that it can hit anyone of any age at any time. It's not deadly, by any means, but it can drastically change your life. It can be a real and aggravating pain in more ways than one (pun intended). MANY more ways.
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Yep, after 3 and a half hours at work this morning, I came home and got online for a little while to start catching up, and about an hour later I was starting to 'shut down'. I only got to snooze abouit 1/2 hour or so before Tiffany came in. She was back a bit early from her friend Taylor's house. I had to get up because I had to run her home early this weekend. My ex Paula had finally managed to buy a house she'd been looking at to get them out of their cramped apartment, and the whole-house inspection was scheduled for this afternoon. That inspection would give Tiffany her first chance to see the inside of the place. And, she was excited about packing for the move. Ah, the exhuberance of youth. She doesn't yet know how frustrating and repetitive packing to move can be.  .I took her home, came back here, got online again thinking I might be able to stay up. But, about 45 minutes later I had my answer. Right about 4:00 PM, I asked Kenzie to get me up for the news at 6:00 if I wasn't up by then.I laid down, and didn't wake up till 5:57. The network news just wrapped up, and here I am. I need to change the litter box, then I'll be back online. I still feel a bit sluggish, but for me that's been normal after short naps, sometimes lasting the rest of the day. It's my version of Kenzie's problem of feeling tired all the time I think. I'm going to change that litter box, and we'll see what happens after that. I'm thinking about another entry here tonight. We'll see. |
Yep, that's right. I had two neat plans for this evening. I was going to re-post that Steinway baby grand reproducing player piano of ours on Craigslist (the original ad ran out, but two people are thinking about it), and, I was going to make a second entry in my new blog "It's Just a Thought"  . Obviously both will now wait until tomorrow (Saturday). The chronic fatigue part of Fibro saw to that.I had a bit of a problem staying awake at work this afternoon, though I managed. But things went downhill while I drove home. Not risky driving, but one of those things where once your activity level slows down, you can't get it started again. From the time I walked in the front door, my energy was gone, as if it never came in the house with me. This evening at 8:00, Kenzie found a special on the National Geographic cable channel about Jesus' youth and the things (lifestyles, people, etc) He would have been exposed to as He grew up. I've always loved the National Geographic specials, but this time I had to settle for listening to it. I found I couldn't keep my eyes open as I sat in the rocking chair. And it wasn't long before I was dozing off and on. I think I heard most of the show, though. I don't remember feeling like I missed any of it (so I must have heard it as I slept - it wouldn't be the first time - lol), but I DO remember being lovingly surprised when Kenzie kissed the top of my head - she loves kissing my bald spot - as she was leaving to take Derek to work. That contact woke me up, and I realized that I'd been asleep a while. LOL That gave me a PARTIAL second wind, and that's the reason I have the energy to make this entry. But that is about to run out, so as soon as this is done, I'm off to bed. I have to set the alarm for Kenzie to pick up Derek in the morning, but I have no doubt that I'll have NO problem falling back to sleep for a while. LOL I'm off to bed, all. I hope to make an entry each day this weekend. We'll see if that comes to pass. See you all next time! |
| ... and being short on sleep doesn't help. This time it came as a one-two punch. It started this morning about 6 AM when my office beeper went off. I'd gotten somewhere about 4-5 hours of sleep, figuring on sleeping in, to try and catch up a bit more on that sleep I lost being up 24 hours straight on the trip. Yeah, right. And it's a known fact that when Fibro sufferers are tired, we feel the pain even more. No matter where on our body that pain is located. The software package I'm responsible for runs on Friday nights, month end, quarter end, and year end. This time, quarter end happened to also fall on a Friday. For that, I"m grateful. Normally, my package would have run about 8:00 last night, so when I went to bed just before 1:00 this morning, I figured I was safe this time around. Wrong! I called the computer room and found out that they had had problems with one of the earlier packages, that happens to create an information file that my package relies on. My package won't start until all of its needed information is available. Hence, the late run. Solving that took me until 11:00 AM this morning. Thankfully I was able to do it via the office laptop I keep here for that purpose and not have to drive to work as well. Still, as a result of that, my thought was "so much for getting back to bed". Then came the weather changes. We finally started getting the storms that had been predicted as far back as a day and a half ago or so. Once they came, my legs began absolutely killing me. No position was comfortable. Sitting, walking, standing. I thought of laying down a bit to see if that would help (it usually does), but I had some things to do. I've been tearing down the empty boxes after Kenzie puts away the contents. We're slowly working through the pile of boxes that we received the last couple days. Yep, the ones we sent ourselves from Texas. She's still hurting too, so we're taking our time getting it done. But we're getting there. I think she said there's still one or two yet to arrive in addition to the ten or so that are still unopened in the living room. I suppose we'll see.Along with that, I started a new blog this afternoon, and I'm waiting to see if Tiffany gets home in time for supper. She's playing with her friend Taylor for the first time in about 3-4 weeks, since Taylor turned up with Mono right on the heels of Tiffany's previous visit. Hopefully I'll find a way to get the pain to back off a bit sometime this evening. I'd like to get back to my nightly walks for exercise now that the weather's warming up. But I need legs that will cooperate. Meanwhile, I'm going to take another Neproxen. Right now. |
| You read it right. Most of you likely know that Kenzie and I made a trip to Lake Jackson, TX, to retrieve some things that she had in storage there. For those of you who didn't know about that trip, you can catch up reading the recent few entries in Kenzie's Blog "Each Day Already is a Challenge" . Kenzie has expressed, in that blog, her current challenge of catching up on sleep in addition to a few other issues. This point in time and place is my turn to tell how the trip has affected me. Like Kenzie, I'm playing catch up on my sleep, and not having any more luck at it than she has. My days at work are going well because I'm too busy to slow down much. I'm not running around like the proverbial "chicken with [my] head cut off", I just maintain a steady pace from 7:30 to 4:15 other than lunch. But when I slow down for the drive home, I begin to feel the difference. By the time I get home the yawning has started and I feel like it will take a second wind to stay awake through the evening. I have been trying to get to bed a bit earlier this week and get that chance to catch up, but I have yet to make it. Thankfully, the weekend is here, and even though my daughter will be here I will have the chance to sleep later than 5:50 AM. Because she does. Hopefully doing that for a couple days will definitely help the sleep situation. With a bit of luck, Kenzie and I both will be able to catch up on the sleep soon, though she may end up catching hers with a nap since she will be getting up at her usual time over the weekend in order to pick Derek up from work. That's OK, too. The important thing is that she gets the chance. As for me, it's 11:15 PM and I have to work tomorrow, so I'm off to bed. I'll check in tomorrow and continue this explanation with a different effect of the trip unless I end up crashing first. Later, all! |
| ... hurting last night. They have been bugging me since I got up this morning, though a LITTLE less than yesterday. But, my hunch about being in class was right. They got to be a real pain. I had taken a Neproxen before class, and it helped, but not as much as I'd hoped. I found myself keeping that right leg changing position, rubbing the knee, and so on. And on each break we took, I'd do those knee bends, about 6-9 of them or so before sitting back down. That did help for a while, but they were hurting again before the next break about two hours later. Sheesh. And they're still at it as I write this, though not as bad. I sure hope they back off before we leave for Texas on Monday. We'll see about that, I suppose. Kenzie's been hurting like crazy the last day or so. Even throwing her sacroilliac out of position. And, I know, I probably spelled it wrong  . I hope she got to the chiropractor today for that one. It'll make the trip a lot easier for her. She just told me that she didn't get a chance to go to the chiropractor, but she's walking normally. She said it must have snapped back into place. For her sake, I sure hope so. I'm off to do a bit of work. I'll check in later tonight if I don't end up getting tired first. Later, all! |
| Yep, you read it right. I'm going to bed, and my legs, especially the right knee, are still killing me. USUALLY getting off of them for a while helps. I sure hope it does tonight. I'll try and let you know soon how things turn out. Later, all! |
| Literally. I'm hoping it's just all these weather changes. Like Kenzie said in HER blog today, the temperature changes alone can be contributing to this. As our local weather man put it on the 6:00 news, "At 3:00 PM yesterday it was 76 degrees. At 3:00 PM today it was 39. Tell me THAT'S not strange. Even for this area, that's really overdoing it. My legs have been bothering me all day today, getting worse as the day progressed. Only today it wasn't like a few weeks or months back. Today it had to be different from the past, too. Today, the pain wasn't balanced equally in both legs. My right leg has hurt far more than my left one, and the ache in my right knee has almost been nonstop. Tonight, I took the cat out for a walk on her leash, planning on using the time to hopefully get rid of that pain in the knee for a while. Yeah, right. To quote Kenzie, GRRRRR!!! I even tried the knee bends I always have to do periodically when we're traveling. Those knee bends always get rid of the pain for about a couple hours or so. But not today. Today that relief lasted all of about 5 minutes at a pop then the right knee was right back at it. I'd expected SOME extra pain after I put the new water supply hoses on the washer earlier tonight. But I didn't expect what I got. The right knee had been consistent most of the day. That's a given. But the pain got even worse there at the same time it picked up in both legs about an hour after I finished putting those hoses on. Go figure. As I sit here now, nothing has changed. And the problem is it sure BETTER improve tomorrow. I'm going to be in a class all day at work. Sitting for about 4 hours at a pop, both before and after lunch. With pain like this, that class could be a really painful experience. Literally. I'm going to make it a point to take the Neproxen before the class starts and again at lunch time. It's the best chance I have to make it through that class without all this pain. Sheesh. Time for supper. Hopefully next time the news will be better. For both Kenzie and I. When you check her blog entry for today, you'll see her day was worse than mine. But one thing she and I have agreed on from the start of our relationship. It's great that we don't have to try to explain to our spouse what we're going through like many Fibro suffers do. We know our partner understands. Understands the pain, the whining, the wishing for relief, the changing, moving pain, the "I'll have to do that later, honey. I just hurt too bad right now", all of it. And that understanding gives us peace of mind on that important aspect of our relationship. And that's something that is a relief to both of us. |
| A couple weeks ago, my doctor said he wanted me to take my blood pressure for a couple weeks or so, then double check the accuracy of my meter by checking my pressure at a local store's meter and then mine, back to back. Not sure if it was the motions I had to go through to use my meter after taking the number on theirs, or if it was the fact that there was no decent space to rest my arm while sitting there, so I couldn't fully relax it, or what. But, the numbers didn't match, and were too far apart to be reasonable. I'm going to rest a couple minutes and take it again. We'll see what that does. But either way, I'm going to use the other option the doctor mentioned, and stop by his office so his staff can check the darn thing. I want peace of mind on this one. Sheesh. On to other things. Kenzie hasn't had to sleep in the recliner for a few nights now, and that's great. And so far I've had a fair reprieve from the repetitive pains I had been getting in my legs. Which is great, too. Hopefully both of us will be able to keep this up for a while without hurting like hell, or at least more than usual. We'll see what the rest of the day brings. I'll try to make an entry later on. . |
| If you've read Kenzie 's blog entry from today, written about Wednesday evening, keep reading. If not, go there now "Each Day Already is a Challenge" , read her entry, then pick up here. I'd been feeling ready to "shut down" since getting home from work last night about 5:30. While I was watching the NBC Nightly News and checking my email, Kenzie came in the bedroom and slipped under the covers. I knew where this was going. Thing was, I was about ready to join her. Somewhere just before 7:00, we were both snoozin'. About an hour later, give or take a few minutes, my beeper goes off. I'm responsible for a small group of programs that runs at the end of every month, among other times, and this was the end of February. A bit miffed at losing my chance for a nice long nap, I got up, stopped the beeper after reading the message, deleted the message so it wouldn't keep beeping a reminder, and turned to Kenzie. Somewhat quietly so I didn't startle her, I said, "Watch your eyes, honey," as I waited a couple seconds then turned on the light. She didn't budge, or make a sound. I smiled at that. I kinda figured that one. I hooked up my office-owned laptop, connected to the system, and found the reason for the problem. I knew what to do, but I did NOT know what, if anything, special needed to be done before I could have them rerun this thing after I fixed the situation. The instructions for restarting the monthly cycle were at work. I had no copy here (until tonight - ). I put the laptop away and got dressed. I wrote Kenzie a short love note, telling her where I was, and why, in case she woke up while I was gone. I taped it to the back of the bedroom door where she couldn't miss it if she got up, closed the door and headed to work. Once there, I found that I didn't have to do anything unusual before having them run it again. I fixed the problem, had them run it, and I waited till it finished. While waiting, I ate a few cherry tomatoes I'd gotten from the cafeteria at lunch time and hadn't eaten earlier. That took the edge of the appetite without touching junk food and satisfied the diabetes rule about eating roughly every 4 hours while awake. That was my supper. By now it was about 11:20 PM. I turned off my desktop and headed home. I set the alarm clock, sipped a bit of water, and slid into bed. A few minutes later, I hear, "Whatcha been doin'?" I smiled. Inside, too. I understood what she asked, but the voice characteristics I heard in that question told me she was all but talking in her sleep. "I just got home from work," I said softly. "Oh, that stinks," she said, turning to face me. "Tell me about it," I said as I leaned over and kissed her. I knew I hadn't awakened her, because she hadn't moved a muscle when I entered the room, or anytime after. But, she was awake. "Did you get it fixed?" "Yes, for the moment. I have to put something permanent in place tomorrow so it doesn't happen again." She slowly slipped out of the bed, making sure her knee and ankle were going to support her. "Well, now that I've had that 'nap', I'm awake," she said as she headed for the door. "I'll close this so the cats don't disturb you, sweetie." "OK, thanks. I'll either see you when you come back to bed, or when I get up in the morning," I said, smiling. "I love you," she said as she closed the door. I looked at the clock. It was now 12:10 AM Thursday morning. When my alarm went off at 5:50, I got up and started with my blood pressure check and sugar level, as always. When I headed for the kitchen about 15 minutes later, she was at her PC as always. "Do you remember talking to me last night when I got home?" I asked. She smiled, and we both knew the answer. We talked about this later on, enjoying it with a smile. And part of that humor was, and is, the idea that with Fibro, and the chronic fatigue that's part of it, this will not be the last time something like this happens. The clincher for this time? It's now Thursday evening, and Kenzie's been asleep since about 7:00 or so. Before she fell asleep, I asked her if she was going to crash again. She said in her own way that it was definitely possible, commented that she was wondering about the possibility of getting her timing all screwed up with this going on, then proceeded to go right to sleep. End of conversation. It's now 10:00, and she's still asleep. I'm going to get my sugar level, heat a leftover for supper (that's right, I haven't eaten yet tonight, either) , then get ready for bed. My guess is that shortly after I'm IN bed, she'll be getting up again. And our sense of humor will take over just like it did last night and today when we talked about it. This series of events should be a good example to those of you who don't have Firbromyalgia of what it has the potential to do to your scheduling, and your sense of timing, for starters. It's more than just random aches and pains, though those can really force changes as well. When the fatigue truly kicks in, it can try to change many other things in your life. The challenge at those times, which, thank the Lord we've quickly found a way to deal with, is to keep those topsy-turvy moments, like this last 24 hours, from changing, in any negative way, your important relationships. Like with each other. Check in next time and we'll see how this one ultimately develops. |
| Yep, it's been 2 years today. We've had our moments, like any couple, but I wouldn't trade what we have for anything. We have too much fun, even, and especially with the simplest things. Like playing off each other's comments. We've kept going for hours at a time on occasion that way, and loved every minute of it. And then there's our inside jokes that are so unique no one but us will ever understand them. I can just imagine the look on other peoples' faces when we're in our 80's and throwing those lines at each other just as we do right now. They'll chalk it up to senility or old age, and knowing how wrong they'll be will just make us laugh all the harder. Not to mention Opera's antics helping to keep us young as well. Not the least of those is the way she can be so thoroughly occupied for so long with the simplest things, like chasing a bottle cap or milk bottle cap all over the house. The simplest joys are often the best. It's a shame today's kids won't know the innocent joy of many of the toys our generation enjoyed. I love the way Tiffany gets such fun off and on from the original Jack-In-The-Box I got her at a yard sale a few years ago. She still enjoys it, and she's ten. And she loves the simple, spring-loaded plastic fire engine. Push a button and it shoots out of the firehouse door and clear across the room. Not to mention the original metal Slinky. She has a plastic one that she uses more often, but the metal one is there, too. I do keep an eye on that one, I'll admit. But the important thing is this: the simple toys todays kids will never understand or appreciate. And it's a shame. I'm glad Tiffany understands that, at least to a point, and has a definite appreciation for many of them. But I digress. Memory times like anniversaries can do that to a person. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, KENZIE! I LOVE YOU! |
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