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 |  of a tennis player, hiker, writer |
 A bird in the bath. well, just before.  On court 1. Lookin' to own.  In Jax, enjoyin' some solid juniors tennis.  I love my new phone cam.  * Clears throat * “Um, Robin here, your friendly neighborhood MC(Mistress of Ceremonies). Welcome to my blog. In it you’ll find my rants, ramblings and random updates on everything ME... …and since I’m the typo queen and master of misspelling, these will be present in most, if not all my posts.”  A few of my better entries - all quick reads: |
| Whew! I did it! I made the deadline for round one I can't believe I wrote three thousand words today. I have NEVER done that before. Tomorrow and Monday are busy days for me. The tournament cot postponed a whole day due to weather. I'm exhausted. See ya later |
| I have so much to do and I can’t focus. They’re predicting a major ice storm for our area. It’s thirty seven degrees. For Macon Georgia, that seems cold, especially with the wind. They say it will get as cold as 28 tonight. Some places are predicted to get 2 – 4 inches of ice. Soooooo…..This is bad for several reasons. 1. I’m working on my book and now I have to focus on getting the house ready for the possibility of no power – oh joy! What fun! no power means no computer. 2. The tournament is being updated, matche times have changed, and my whole weekend schedule is off. At least I don’t have to work so early in the morning, but I’ll be very late on Sunday for sure and very late on Saturday if the weather permits. 3. Because of the weather, we will probably have rain, so when matches do get going, the courts will probably get wet. Do I have squeegees to dry them? Not sure. Ben says yes, but I had to fast track the ordering and I couldn’t order as many as I wanted. So, I have enough; one for every court, instead of two per court. 4. Do I need another reason???? Anyway, I withdrew Laney from the tournament because she is still sick. High school tennis starts next week. Hope she feels better by then. She seems to right now, but every time she has to eat something, she gets nauseous. Did I write this already? Its just that my mind keeps playing it. Over and over, so see, you really are getting a look into the mind of a menopausal mom. I want that shirt…..Menopausal Mom. And then, in parenthesis, just under that, it should say ALL ABOUT ME. Cuz its been all about everyone else most of my life. |
| Okay, it’s really official. I’m gonna shave my head. I’ve flirted with the idea on and off during the past three months. My hair is longer than shoulder length thin, stringy and detests curl. It likes laying flat on my head I hate it. Plus, I’m having hot flashes and it bugging me. I know, I know, I’m only forty-one, how could I be having hot flashes? Not sure. But it seems to be happening. And the mood swings. OMG! When I’m having a ‘moment’ and I lovingly refer to it, an episode, or whatever it’s called, I can’t focus on calming down. My inside just want o explode through my skin. It’s horrible. I called my doctor the other day to schedule an appointment, to get an official diagnosis. I have to wait till March. Ugh! By then, I’m sure my family will have deserted me for some sweeter mom. Hey, I say menopause is a body’s natural way of coping with teenagers anyway. Autumn’s going shopping today for ‘stuff’ for her new apartment. She doesn’t even have a new apartment yet, but she’s getting ready. She posted a list on the refrigerator, just incase me or her dad felt compelled to purchase anything, we’d know just what to get her. When I tell people she’s moving out, I wave my hand in the air and cheer. “Bout damn time!” I say. But really, I’ll miss her. I know, I’ve typed that already. Laney’s been sick and missed two private tennis lessons w/ N and C. She has that big tournament this weekend and I hope she feels better. It would stink for her to play bad. I was so excited about her tennis schedule this week cuz high school tennis starts next week, and L is playing on an opposing team, she really needs this week, and this tournament to prepare her. I’m tentatively planning on adding something in tomorrow to help make up for some of this loss. That is, if she feels better. |
I’ve been reading other people’s journals and I like them. It’s so cool to get a glimpse of the lives of strangers. Even a one-day glimpse. Then, of course, I always feel like my journal stinks. Boring. I wonder how many journal titles are called My boring Life. I want to shave my head! My hair is driving me nuts. I want to throw everything away. My desk is driving me nuts. I’ve gained so much weight in the past six months and everyday feels like a PMS day. Where’s my tequila??? Kovu lost his collar the other day. Autumn was like, “aaaawwww, that means he almost strangled himself.’ Its one of those pull away collars that breaks apart if the animal is in danger of choking himself. He was sooooo adorable with it on. She bought him a re hea4rt-shaped name tag which he lost when he lost the collar. I have a picture or two and I keep forgetting to bring them to work so I can scan them. I’m planning on inserting them into the Kovu story. I’ll miss Kovu if Autumn moves out. I told her she’d have to drop him off for the weekend every now and then. Yes, I’ll miss her too. But, like I said, if she really does move out, I’m gonna have fun helping her decorate her place. She goes back to the doctor on the 31 of this month. I’m sure they will schedule her tests and we’ll take it from there. She still regrets having the surgery. I guess its her young inexperienced age. My book writing efforts are coming along slowly. I’ve barley written anything. But I least I’ve settled on plots and characters and stuff like that. I’ve created a static item to keep stuff in that I write from work. Its so much easier to access. Plus, I still have my Keep the Line book. I’ll post junk in there. Junk that I might want to develop. I’m still pretty optimistic though.
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I awoke this morning to wonderfully creative thoughts that I’ve since forgotten. But I remember lying there thinking, wow, this will sound good in my journal. I should have replayed the conversation in my head as I can sometimes remember things better when I do. It wasn’t I dream, cuz I sorta remember by dream. I’m narrowing my book topic down and working on building my self-confidence up for it. At times, the task seems so overwhelming I almost wish I didn’t enter. Involving the family so far has proven to be a good idea. They are all too happy to offer their opinions. Laney likes the tennis team thing, since she’s the tennis player. Autumn had fun telling me what names I should give my characters. She even has offered a small plot idea but I don’t like it. Ya never know though, it might weave itself into the story. Bryan hasn’t really offered any input, but that’s okay. I’ll peg him down, and if I get negative vibes, well, I’ll scratch him of the ‘Help Robin With Her Book List’. My next help endeavor will be for characters. I’ve already figured out what I’m gonna say, “Your character WILL make it into the book. Even if it’s just for one scene.” Well, yesterday was my birthday, and Bryan got me Nelson DeMille’s new book. I’ve read two chapters. I think THE LION’S GAME was his best book. But this one’s supposed to be good. Also, Bryan took me out to eat Chinese. I was gonna eat at Ryan’s, an all-you-can-eat buffet place for fruits, veggies, salads, desserts and stuff. I’ve gained soooo much weight lately and I’m trying to get back on track with that. But, I knew the rest of the family didn’t want to eat there. So, I chose the Chinese place since I knew I could get vegetables and they could get fried food. Autumn had to work and was disappointed at not getting to go. Lunc break is over. It's back to work.
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 Boring AlertLeaning towards the tennis team thing because I can have kids, parents, and teenagers all in one mix. Several families. But then, I’m not sure. I could do the conference and have a fire. Or a quarantine thing. Yeah, that’s it. The team goes on a trip, gets quarantined and then meets some outsiders? Or, just two families, or a group of people. God, I’m back to square one. Why can’t I pick a situation and go with it. I’m just so worried because I will have to live with this and I don’t want any regrets. Plus, I want to allow for the most creativity. Blah blah blah Shame stuff different day. I know, I know Okay, here it is: A family, no, make that two families, take their kids on vacation to the beach? Mountains? While there, they happen to be staying while a group of, um, writer’s? No. singers? Maybe, or a small business conventional yeah, but what type? Well anyway, the hotel undergoes a tragedy. A quarantine of some sort, A murder? Not sure, an illness? Not sure I like that. When I get online, I will look up quarantine and find out reasons why an establishment would be quarantined. Being stuck there could draw out problems; force them to the front, and then, their needs to be a way they get resolved. No matter what, two families go on vacation for hey…maybe the summer? Or two weeks? If I do a summer thing, no quarantine, unless it’s a small part in the story. Just to lock everyone in one house for a while. Okay summer? Three-day weekend? Hmmm, what? The summer could really be better. Two families rent side-by-side houses at where? It should be somewhere I know. I like a lake type place. Trouble in town? A convention during the middle of the summer? A place like Stars Hallow? What could the problem be? The dysfunctional families themselves? Yes, but it should be two-fold. A town tragedy? But what? I know, I keep typing the same thing over and over again, but I’m getting closer to a solution. I can feel it. Well, with a bit of a skeleton in place, maybe I should just jump in with two feet. And pray the other stuff will work itself out. Can it? I always believe in a map. But hey, I can get lost, find my way back and then again, end up in a totally unplanned place. Would that be so bad??? ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable **
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I still can’t believe I’ve entered the book writing contest. In truth, I’m scared I’ll get disqualified. The rules are strict. But, I’ve decided that even if I do get the boot, I’ll continue my work, as though I were still in and see what happens. My ultimate goal is to get this done. Produce a rough draft. From beginning to end. After its completed, then I can work on trimming and polishing. Here is a list of my ideas.  A room in a hotel, or a convention at a hotel…the entire book takes place over the one convention! I love this idea, because I can weave lots of sub plots in, and tie them all together with something big. i.e. natural disaster, terrorists attack, something like that. A family of parrots struggles with growing up and having to migrate due to deforestation. The family be an extended one. A tennis community and tournament players traveling in and out of it.A tennis player travels with his/her team competing in USA Team Tennis. Parents will accompany them, this allows for a diverse covering and sub plots can easily be woven in. Plus, I’m wondering, should I enlist the help of my family? Not only will they help spark my creative juices but they will feel a part of something I will undoubtedly be involved in. Thus, maybe they will be more forgiving of the amount of time I will spend on it. ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable ** "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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| Well, now I’ve gone and done it. I joined a book writing contest. Who do I think I am? Hit with a momentary splash of inspiration, I jumped in. I was inspired by the success had with the endureviewing contest I entered. (I came in tenth and I was nominated for the [b}best review out of the entire contest. I learned soooo much about reviewing. When I saw this one I thought, ‘Wow! Maybe I could actually do it.’ At the very least, I should walk away with tons of material to write lots of short stories with. Bryan is grilling chicken wings right now. It’s freezing cold and windy. When he’s finished, we’re going to the hockey game, watch Chris, my brother-in-law, drop the puck and leave in time to watch the Falcons game. Chris leaves for Iraq soon and we’re all getting together tonight to party before he’s off. He’s already been there twice. It totally sucks he has to go back. I get scared for his wife every time. I don’t know how she does it either. I’d go insane. ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable ** "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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My heart hurts for Autumn. First of all, the exploratory surgery went well. No complications and everything came back fine. They were looking for things like endometriosis or cancer so you can’t imagine the relief I felt to hear the results. Still, something’s wrong, and more tests will be needed before a positive diagnosis can be determined. She, on the other hand wasn’t happy upon hearing they found nothing. She was in intense pain, and crying she said. “Something’s wrong with me. I wanted them to FIX it. I did this for nothing.” I fought back the tears. Since she’s so young, I don’t think she realized that not having endo is a good thing. Before the surgery, they gave her a Valium, to relax. She was being so cute, which made my heart hurt too. I helped her into her hospital gown and she asked, “Are you gonna write a story about this?” I laughed. And said, “Um, I don’t know.” But in truth, I had already begun the mental note taking. Especially since this year I’m trying to write about everything, not just the funny stuff. I’m back at work. Boy do I need to get organized. When they were passing out the organization gene, they completely skipped over me. Or, maybe I looked down at my feet and missed it. Who knows, but I struggle with organization. I do have friends who say I’m organized, but it’s simply not true. I worked really hard and can sorta organize, therefore creating the illusion of organization. The worst part about it is I am clueless. I know I need to file, but then I have to create a file folder, and then what? Should I put it in the blue folder? The red folder? Or, I’ll get a bit of a system going, and then, sub files throw me off. Or, what about those files could logically be filed in two different places? Then what? I’ll tell you then what, I turn on the coffee maker, grab another doughnut and work on the writing projects my boss gave me, like the revamping of our customer service approach. Lists need to be created, a power point presentation needs to be done, and then a report, recoding the process. Well, my lunch break is over, gotta go for now. I work till six-thirty tonight. ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable ** "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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| Just getting the junk out. I’m nervous because I feel the presure to perform. I feel like crap. I have a sinus headache, my nose won’t stop running, my throat hurts, and my eyes feel puffy. No matter how much Claritin, or Dayquil I swallow, I still feel crappy. I was planning on taking the day anyway, but now, I know I am. Autumn has her dr. appointment today to prepare her for tomorrow’s surgery. I’ve told her all about my surgery, so she knows what to expect. Laney says I’m scaring her. I just feel that if you know what’s going to happen step by step, you can mentally prepare yourself. After her appointment, we’ll eat lunch. I told her she could invite M. if she wanted and then, we’ll go to Wal-Mart to drop the film off. Pictures of Kovu ‘driving’ and then pick up food she might want, and rent some DVD’s. I took tomorrow and Thursday off, incase she feels bad. I know I should write about my fears and worries about this surgery, but I can’t. Every time I start thinking scare thoughts, I push them away. Then I tell myself how stupid I’m being, since I can’t do anything now. And who knows how long it will take after the surgery to know anything. But still, my mind goes in circles. ****************************************************** I just interviewed a guy for our part time position. He seems interested. He’s a Mercer student who runs track and wants to make some extra money. He knows about the computer, but not about tennis. Why can’t I get someone who knows tennis, computer, is friendly, wants to work and is reliable???? I’ll teach him about tennis. He knows Word! And Excel! I forgot to ask about Access, but who cares???? Plus, and Autumn would kill me for even typing, but he’s cute for her. He’s her age, and a student! She needs to date a college student. I know, I’m being so Mom, but I can’t help it. Man I feel so horrible. Please don’t let me be sick for long. It so totally sucks because I won’t stay in bed and rest. The last time I did that, I had the flu. OMG that really was horrible. It took two weeks to get over, and I couldn’t get up, even if I wanted to. At least I don’t feel THAT bad. (I need to check ML codes for italics.) Off for now, Adam will be here any minute and I need to type him a To Do List. toodles.  ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable ** "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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| Why do I always feel this pressure to fill up a blank screen? Why does it matter if I write three sentences, three paragraphs or three pages? Who cares? Well, just divin’ in here. Laney spent the night at N.’s house and Autumn worked at Joshua Cup so we had the house to ourselves. I made Bryan take me out to eat – Ingleside Pizza! Way too many carbs, but ooohhh so good. I love their pizza. We used to make it at home, I made the crust and Bryan made the sauce – from scratch. It was awesome, but it takes way too much time and I got tired of the mess. It’s more relaxing to drink a Hornsby and watch the guys toss your dough into the air while listening to REM on the speakers chatting about the stresses of your day. Right now, I should be cleaning the house. Folding laundry, changing sheets, moping the kitchen, but instead, John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers and friends DVD is in the DVD player and here I sit in front of the computer, typing away. Why is it I should always be doing something else instead of writing? Why do I feel guilty spending time on myself instead of taking care of my family, house, yard and pets? Maybe that’s why I’ve never really taken my writing to the next level. Is it too late to incorporate one more New Years Resolution onto the 2005 list? Writing – A guilt –free experience. I haven’t the foggiest idea how to execute such an idea, let alone assess how well or not the concept improves my writing. I remember watching a show on the Sundance Channel. I can’t remember the show’s titile, but the plot of it was: Take one, two, or three scenes of a movie and dissect it. The writing of the scene, the lighting, the costume, the music, it analyzed every aspect of the making of that one particular scene. On the particular day when my fingers tired of clicking the up channel button, stoped on said show, they were talking about Mario Van Peebles and a scene from the movie Baaadassss which was inspired by Mario’s father, Melvin. Mario showed his father and the creative process he went through while making a film of his own. I was enthralled as I witnessed the creative process come to life, how Melvin through himself into his work. He gave up life as we know it to write his screenplay. He lived in one room and wrote all hours of the day and night. He taped legal pad pieces of paper on his wall. He ignored those around him. I was impressed. My husband, who happened to enter the room late, missing the first half of the show, wasn’t impressed. In fact, he amazed, he was tuned off, viewing Melvin’s creative expressions as a bad thing. I didn’t tell him my feelings. How I’d love to throw myself into a project with that much attention, vigor, and commitment – just once – to see what the end result might be. I have gotten lost in my writing, and, I’ve spent lots of free time working on finishing up a story. But I’ve never really gotten lost in my writing. Comments like my husband’s are part of the reason I feel guilty writing. What good mother would write to the exclusion of all else. Bills do have to get paid. (I’m lucky I get to write at work sometimes. i.e. reports, letters, and grants. My mom says I need to peruse writing. If anyone enjoys writing boring reports and grant writing, than s/he is a writer. I love you Mom. Well, the laundry is piling up by the minute. Maybe I’ll be back later today. ** Image ID #921227 Unavailable ** "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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| Aaaahhhh, a fresh page on a fresh day, the start of a fresh beginning. I guess, whith endu reviewing, I’ve ignored my journal. Well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve ignored it longer than that. What a shame too, because a lot of my good story writing has been born out of my journal writing. Public journaling will be new for me. I did public journaling in the very beginning of my writing.com membership, but then, as I encouraged some of my friends and family to sign on, I changed it to private. Not wanting them to read what I wrote about them. My approach change stems from two levels: One, a desire to return to my journal, and this group is my vehicle, and two, since my stay here at wrting.com, I’ve seen some very personal writings. They strike me in a deep positive way. I see journal writing as a way for me to produce such profound works. "Invalid Item" "You Want to Write About WHAT?"
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