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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brucef/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11
Review Requests: OFF
1,301 Public Reviews Given
2,367 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to read novels and biographies, so if I can review them at the same time, why not. My ratings are usually at the high end because I think if someone has taken the time and effort to write a large piece, it is an achievement. The review will give the opportunity to flag up typographic errors. I do not mark down ratings for these errors because they are easily fixed.
Favorite Item Types
Rhyming Verse. Novels and short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-rhyming poetry.
I will not review...
Erotica, Vampire and Wolf stories. Their stories are all very samey to me.
Public Reviews
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Review of The shelter  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Glad to have come across this short story. It retained my interest and enjoyment throughout not only because of the high standard of writing but also because the content is set in an area and time where I lived. Just a bit of nit-picking: sweet and chocolate rationing ended early in 53 and the story is set in 55. The ending is good and has a "Tales of the Unexpected" feel about it. The last piece: "his torch in one hand" seems to me to be missing something. A great piece; I thank you for sharing it.
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252
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an enjoyable story and easy to follow and understand as it flows to the ending. The ending is good but I would like to know more about the "consequences". Characters and pace are well done, and the storyline is credible given the category of the story. However, I feel that the author needs to proofread the story as there seem to be some minor errors that can easily be fixed. A recommended short story though.
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Review of Checkmate  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good piece of writing to prompt the reader to find out more. Seems like a start to a World War One story but could be another conflict. Franz sounds like a German to me and I wonder if this is the start or the conclusion to the tale. Nevertheless, I think that you could be on the right road if you decide to continue with this, if you have not already started. I assume you have a plan worked out. Good luck and welcome to WDC.
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Review of Luna  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A nice little thought-provoking story. Very well written and an enjoyable read which perhaps can one day be extended as it certainly has the potential to become a longer piece. Maybe the start of the adventure of the two characters. Well done with this and welcome to WDC.
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255
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Glad to see a bit more of the Burtrend part, my favourite character so far. Then we continue with Jenniah at just the right moment leaving a good hook from the first part. This second part flows well and is another good and interesting piece.
Possible typo: "H looked just as exhausted" Should this be He looked? / Change of POV marked by a break at "Daren is something troubling you?". I do this myself sometimes, but I am not sure that it works well in this instance.
Another good and interesting read.
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256
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Though I don't fully understand them yet, the opening italics are noticeably missing from this chapter. The chapter itself is a good read with plenty of action and the appearance of all, as I see it, the main characters. I have no problem seeing the characters or the settings and this is certainly a chapter that I would not put down until the end. The final part is unexpected and I wonder what happens next. A great chapter and I look forward to more.
I'm no expert at grammar but have a bit of input where I noticed things: "snot running from her nose" A line for effect, but I don't think many readers would enjoy this part of the image. "As royalty, she had (n)ever been "
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257
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I'm pleased to continue with Burtrend's part in the story. The chapter flows well and gives the reader plenty of action. There are parts that keep the reader guessing, which is a good thing, and a very good hook to end the chapter.
A couple of possible typo's: "and is eyes to search deep shadows in the hallway." missing h in his. / "asked me to save you while we at sea." Missing word?
I look forward to reading on.
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258
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
From my favourite last chapter to my least favourite, this one. The writing is good and flows well, but I am not so keen on the content although I am sure that, perhaps, it has some bearing on the bigger picture. Mortals have always worshipped gods but the coming together of this group does not seem very credible even given the category of the story. However, I will, of course, read on because I am interested in the mortals and their destiny.
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259
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My favourite chapter so far. All the chapters hold my interest but there is a lot going on here and it flows well. The paragraph that starts: "With a hurt expression he turned to walked out," (and walked or to walk) I found the paragraph a bit confusing and I feel it needs to be clearer as to who is doing what as I had to read it twice. The characterisation and the settings remain clear to me and I look forward to finding out what happens next.
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260
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Chapter 4 starts another part to the story which at the moment seems like a group of unfinished short stories. I assume that they will all come together soon. All the new names and locations can be a bit confusing but I manage to get them all in the end and I am still enjoying the read. I assume that it is all something to do with the opening chapter italics, but I don't get it yet.
Possible typo's: "Needing the it for the gods" / "tossed her long dark curls over her should and rode off," / "He gave her a big smile and sat down beside her." Maybe this should start the next paragraph? / "The soft cre colored dress, " / " ignore your beauty for long." Missing close speech mark.
The writing and story are to a good standard and I look forward to reading on.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Another good chapter which keeps the reader guessing. There are a couple of sentences that I am not sure about and stand out to me although they may not be incorrect: "As he leaned on the wall for support as he walked." and " Burtrend needed to stifled laughter again. ". A good read and I look forward to finding out what happens next.
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262
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A good chapter as we set out on a voyage that the reader may expect to be a perilous venture and is not disappointed. Not sure, but I think that it sounds like there is a word missing: "Senior Rainier had required he bring with." Another good read with a great ending prompting me to find out what happens next.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
At first, I thought we were at a dock under the floating city, but it soon became evident that we were not. A new main character in this first chapter and as a reader I wondered what his interest was in the land across the ocean, but again that became evident in the final paragraph. Another well-written and interesting piece in which I noticed no errors.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a cracker. This kept my interest and is a storyline that I will hope to follow. The Scenes are easy to imagine and the characterisation is good. As always with this type of story I was a bit confused at first with some of the names but soon got accustomed to them. The fear of a disaster is always there and keeps the reader guessing, but the twist at the end comes as a complete surprise. An enjoyable and recommended read.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
On reading the first paragraph it is clear that the writing will be to a high standard. There is a bit of a prologue to give a hint as to what is ahead. It is well written and holds the interest, but I am not sure if we need it until the relevant time in the story. Chapter 1 is good and I can see the characters and the scene. This looks like being a good story.
I noticed: "on the ground, her lunchbox r " Missing text.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A great piece giving the reader a greater insight into Wyatt Earp. Having only seen the Wyatt Earp TV series and the Gunfight film this made for interesting reading and gives, perhaps, the whole story of the Earps and their friends. Thanks for this.
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Review of The Lying Game  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This seems to be a nice short narrative story, a bit like a report. It is well written and easy to follow. I noticed no errors or typo's and found it an interesting and enjoyable short. Cheaters never win seems a bit abrupt to me. Just a thought, maybe something like cheaters always get found out eventually. Well done with this.
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Review of Brilla  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A charming little story and seems of the right length for a children's book. Review for this is different from the mainstream of stories as with the repetition of "magical" in the opening paragraph, which is not out of place in this instance. Also "Once Upon A Time" could be seen as a cliche but in a story aimed at children it is fine, as I don't think that children are bothered about cliches. You have the makings of a great little story and I found it to be an interesting and enjoyable read and I found no errors. I can imagine the illustrations to accompany this. Very well done and welcome to W.D.C.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, this is something different and perhaps we can all take some advice from it. Item 1: Yes jealousy is a demon and has ruined many lives as well as prompted discontent. Item 2: A good point and something I am aware of in my life. I still remember small memories that will always stay with me. Item 3: Time does move so fast without you noticing at the time. I am amazed that my eldest daughter is nearly fifty. Doesn't seem so long that she was in a pram. Item 5: One of my regrets is not that I didn't listen but that I didn't record somewhere. When I was a child, my Grandmother used to tell me stories of her time through the Blitz in East London. I wish I could remember those stories now. Item 6: Nice thoughts. I too love my little dog; a true and faithful friend.
Thank you for this wonderful and thought provoking piece.
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Review of Cockroach Cameo  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
So, the unusual title interested me and prompted me to find out what this was about. I looked for typo errors but found none in this well written short. It is always a delight to come across a story that is completely original and this certainly fits the bill for me. An enjoyable read and I wish you good luck in the contest.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a brilliant opening line. It certainly prompted me to read on. Whether it is fact or fiction does not really matter. If it is fact then as long as it helps you there's no harm. Another thing is that if, or when, you write novels you can become quite attached to your favourite characters. Maybe write about your cartoon friend. Thank you for an entertaining letter/memo and welcome to WDC.
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Review of Fade Away  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A good rhyming poem in the sonnet style. An often used subject that will always continue to be written as it affects many of us at some time. There is, possibly, a hint at the end that time will move on and another will take the place of the lost love, as usually happens. Well done with this.
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Review of I Was Content  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A fascinating short story; well thought out and written to a high standard. This is something I like about some shorts: the telling of a story with something different and refreshingly original. I noticed no typo's except: nighttime, which I think is two words or hyphenated. A good story and , I'm sure, a writer to watch. Well done with this and welcome to WDC.
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Review of Bookend Love  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a joy to come across charming little biographical stories like this. The content, I'm sure will appeal to many people. The title is unique and it wends well throughout the piece.
And Malorie, you love him like that... don't you?" (Not sure, should this be: love me like that)?
"Yes dad. I do" (Yes, Dad. I Do.")
An excellent piece, well done and welcome to WDC.
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Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A nice non-fiction tale that is a pleasure to read. These sort of shorts are amongst my favourites and even with no horse experience I can relate to the story.
A few probable typo' errors: She would constantly jumped (jump) the electric fence / they would called (call) to go grabbed (grab) her / The bull full of pure muscle stare(d) at me /. These are easy to fix if you agree.
I assume that you and your brother were doubled up on the horse and that had me a bit puzzled at first. Maybe clarify it a bit.
On the whole this was an enjoyable and interesting read and I look forward to more from you.
Welcome to WDC and I hope you will enjoy your time here.
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