A reminder to all of us, in spite of any loss or hardship that we may face, that God is always there, and he can pull us through anything, no matter how daunting the road ahead.
You have written this so that it flows beautifully.
Regards
Cherry-Anne
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I have goose bumps from reading this. I wish I could write like that.
Please tell me if you have just written this as you write, or do you follow some form. it just flows so beautifully. Sigh, I suppose some thing just can't be taught. They are there already inside you.
"My heart beating loudly" brought a smile and your whole poem which gives a promise of love, left a warm feeling after I had finished reading your words. It seems there was indecision, and then finally the acquiesence.
I found this an interesting form - very different, and I really enjoyed the start of your poem. It created a lovely visual with the little girls in their frills and their shiny black shoes, but then I lost if after that. I'm sorry. It might just be me, but I didn't understand the rest of your poem. It obviously relates to a story I am not aware of, and so this may add to my confusion.
However, the beginning was really good.
Keep on writing!
Your poem was so apt, particularly for those mothers with teenage children who believe that it is their right to commandeer everything in the home. Your poem portrayed that so well.
I enjoyed "my screams were lost among teenage chatter," and your ending made me laugh out loud!
Lovely heartfelt poem!
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How little do we truly know our co worker, or the people around us?
I can almost feel a chill run through me, and your poem leaves me wandering whether her "darkness" is just lonelienss, or whether there is as you say something more "ominous".
Very thought provoking poem
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Kind regards
Cherry-Anne
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This is a lovely poem, and an excellent philosophy to hold onto.
I liked the flow of your poem - it seemed to start off very reflectively, and then your last verse written so closely together, is written almost as if a decision as been made. Very well written.
Write on.
Kind regards
Cherry-Anne
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This is really lovely. I felt the same peace, and smiled as I read the last sentence. How heart warming. So often poetry is about the not so good side of life (I'm guilty of doing the same thing) but this was such an uplifting one.
Really inspirational and for that I thank you.
Keep writing such beautiful poetry.
Kind regards,
Cherry-Anne
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This poem is amazing. The visual you create with your words, is so clear and so strong. Your words flow beautifully, and there is so much depth to them.
And in spite of of the death and destruction, man will still survive. We are left with a good thought.
No wonder you did so well with it.
Take care
Cherry-Anne
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This was lovely. You did this exactly the way it should be. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can imagine when the fan is spinning, that it would just see a myriad of colours flashing by.
This was such a sweet story, written from the puppy's P.O.V. The owners must have loved to see him sleeping there.
Your punctuation threw me a little because it was as if there was a dialogue of some kind happening when there wasn't? Am I right? This is all told from the puppy's P.O.V. so I'm not sure whether all the punctuation for each sentence is necessary.
Apart from that, I enjoyed your story. Your visuals were very good. so write on ! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
This was an intense read! With an unexpected twist that I didn't seem coming, so well done. I usually manage to figure out the story ending beforehand, but not with this.
I like that sentence "but I can't get him to stay gone"
I suppose that must be the way it is for lots of split personalities or schitzophrenics - this other person that takes over, changes their lives forevers.
Well written. Keep up the good work. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
Lol - this was delightful! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I was a little anxious for the chocolate, hoping he wasn't going to come to an untimely end, considering how much he was anticipating....
I enjoyed your tongue in cheek humour, and found your story to be very well written. It flowed smoothly and was well written. I loved the last line -" we visited thoughout the evening."
A wonderful write! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
Wow, this was good. I had a feeling it was coming, but I liked the way you did it with the cell phone. Including their children was the piece de resistance.
Would have loved to have read this as a longer piece. Please let me know if you do. It has the basis of an excellent plot, and you would do well to extend it.
This was really really good. The flow of your poetry was exceptional, and regardless of the fact that you said this is not your comform zone, you did a really good job.
It would appear you have been writing poetry for while. Well done.
lol - this was pretty good! Sounded like a Jeffrey Deaver short story. The story flowed nicely, and kept me interested until the end. the villain certainly did seem to be quite careless - maybe a little too much so.
I'm not quite sure what Fluff is - some sort of spread?
Anyhow, well done, and keep on writing !
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This is such a sad story Cissy, but so often they say that the healing is in the telling. If you can use your words to help rid you of your nightmares, then that is what you should attempt to do..Just by reading other people's words on WDC, one can see that writing can be such a catharsis - it truly helps to write it down and express your anger and emotions on paper.
Good luck with your endeavours.
Keep writing !
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Wow - this is intense! Too short. i wanted more. You certainly had me wanting to know why he was here, and what was happening, so well done for having whetted my curiosity. Well written. I loved the ending..
I think it's brilliant that at the age of 15 you are here, writing amongst us.
This is beautiful ! Such a lovely dedication to one's sister. You have shown so much emotion in here, and your nonet is set out beautifully. I like the way you started and ended with the same two lines.
We must be in the same competition. Don't you just love the challenge of the various forms?
Isnt it great to write a poem to someone that has inspired you. This poem is all about that. The love and security that you feel for this person shines though so clearly, and he obviously loves you in return for you to have such trust.
Flowed so well and I enjoyed the way it turned out so positively for you..
I particularly liked the two lines, "Stranger looking back at me, I like this person that I see."
I see from your badge, the judges did too.
Well done;)
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