Your piece is interesting. the first paragraph last line to meet her he flies to the helm? Did this story line happen on a boat? Back to the poem. This poem would be more enjoyable to read if it were presented in four or five line stanzas. The use of puntuation would aid the writers feelings and motives better to the reader. I really liked the story line, but got lost at the helm.
your poem is interesting but seems unfinished. I don't quite understand the third line of the second stanza. Emerging from what mist? I like what you have started maybe you would consider finishing the poem.
Good job. A new talent found in your sound. Your rhyming was fitting to your poem, the stanzas made sense. Some poets get caught up in their rhym and lose the message of the poem. It seems that you have considered both the message and the ryhm. Keep writing.
A well written piece. Quite dark. If one is not careful he or she could be drawn in. My hope is that you don't remain on the book shelf, as you are too talanted to becaught up in such a work for ever.
Very nice. This piece makes me think of how great Jesus is. He is able to reach deep inside and get my attention long enough for me to remember how I felt on the day I asked him for forgiveness as I received his salvation. I was so relieved in my new state of being cleansed of my sin. Now my only problem seems to be maintaining my focus on him, for like a child my attention span needs to grow. I find myself being distracted at times. it's dangerous to lose focus on Jesus, for that's when I stray.
Your poem is in your own mind understandable, however to a stranger it sounds like nonsense. Try reading your poem outloud and try to listen to yourself as if you were the reader. It may help you fill in the gaps.
I really like your poem, however it seems to read as a first draft. With a little care I think you'll see a great poem in the end. Read the piece out loud and listen as you have never heard before. There are some mistakes that should be corrected, unless of course your satisfied with the piece as it stands. That's alright as it is your poem.
Good subject matter. As good as your poem is I think there is more in your heart about these wild Mustangs. Its your poem to do with what you wish. i see the beginning of a great poem.
Its great to be part of a loving family. I liked your poem, however I think your use of commas are too liberal. I also think your poem could be better if it were refined a little.
Very good. This poem quiets the soul and encourages the reader to reach out in their time of need. Through a time of loss and need there is one who quiets the soul.
Good poem. None of us are good enough, but Jesus chose to become man, God with us, only perfect and sinless. yet he chose to die for our sins past present and future. For there is nothing we could do, or pay to be worthy of his grace. Only Jesus can save!
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