Deeply moving expression of the sorrows so many of us carry,and the loved ones who try to help us on our paths to redemption.
I resonate with the thoughts of fleeting moments. No moment can stay. As I have been reminded, nothing lasts for ever whether good or bad, This too shall pass. I am touched by the description of the interplay without words between the two characters.
That quality in a relationship is very special.
However, a caveat, no person is able to truly heal us, the healing must come from within our selves, and our growth is from the work we do individually.
Well done.
I have no suggestions.
Write On!
Wow! What an incredible flight of thought, and words, and imagery!
I do believe in love, and God, but you state quite a case....
And you do it very well.
Enjoyed the energized pace, and could picture this being acted out.
No suggestions
Write On!
This poem of nature, gardens and beauty is very enjoyable.
The descriptions paint great visuals of the garden through each season.
Thank you for sharing this. Good round-about from spring to spring again.
Write on, and please continue to share...
you inspire.
The writer effectively takes the reader into the abyss of derpression. I hope that the writing of it helps alleviate the depression and melancholy.
However, from a similar viewpoint, it make take many various attacks on the wicked dandelion-like root of depression to up root it, even temporariy.
Write On!
Welcome to writing.com. I am glad to read other writers' new postings.
I enjoy poems about nature, and was pleasantly surprised by the topic of this poem,as the description does not mention nature.
This poem contains many references to the beautiful aspects of this world. ...And it was beautiful.
A great ending that brought the poem together.
Write On!
I enjoyed the upbeat mood of this poem.
There are several spelling errors that I suggest correcting.
Example: Alll, cathes (catches?), re joys (rejoice), stilll
I like the many descriptions of this one who brings the writer joy.
Write on!
You have written another descriptive, captivating vignette of Oklahoma life. I have visited the state several times as my mom was born and raised in Oklahoma. I appreciate how you bring together the cycles of seasons, animal life and our life and remind the reader once again to savor this life.
This piece was very much enjoyed.
You paint beautiful, colorful images in the reader's mind. Please continue to share the beauty of this life through your writing.
It is very well done.
Write on!
Loved this piece. Every word reached out and tugged at me, beckoning me to see this day/evening in my mind, even in my heart.
I hope that it is real. Truly the reminders at the end are real and valid.
Thank you for sharing this piece
Very rhythmic and balanced poem. It beautifully describes many aspects of the eagle and ties them into our country. Very pleasant read.
I have no suggestions of change or improvement.
Write On!
This is a moving piece of love and remembrance for a precious mate, your dog. I feel the closeness and the many ways he touched your life. This is well-written, descriptive, and alive. I feel your loss, and am reminded of precious dogs I have lost.
Be comforted as you grieve, his memory does live on.
Write On!
Quite an expressive poem. I was drawn to Chocolate in the title, but find that it is not so easily digested as simple candy. This seems to be a poem that takes slow, careful savoring to bring it to a full boil of understanding.
This poem has great rhythm, and rhyme. It so perfectly describes and sense of self that I have certainly experienced. You spoke to me through it, and yet, I want to comfort and encourage the speaker in the poem, and say "Don't believe it... others do care." Sadly, when I have been in those introspective times of fear, and distress, I cannot hear hope or comfort either.
Write On!
Hope this mood does/did not linger... your work (which opens up your soul) is cared for and about.
This was a touching poem. I followed the imagery from her grief, to the source of her grief, to the last line of hope, or comfort.
Thank you for sharing it.
One suggestion, or question, hear in the second stanza, is that supposed to be her?
Thank you for writing this poem. It is terribly sad to read. I know so many young girls... not yet out of their teens that were led to abortion, or outright forced to it. The loss is tremendous to the infants, the mothers, and the world. I am thankful that I was protected from abortion. I gave birth to my daughter when I was 18, surrendered her to adoption.. which was also very painful, and was reunited with her when she was 18. My regrets are many, but God is merciful. Thank you again for writing about this subject.
This is a nice poem about friends, and a great reminder, too.
Good use of rhyme, and comparisons.
I especially liked the lines that referenced growing old as friends, that friendship does not decay as our bodies do.
Only suggestion: The word as is used somewhat often, perhaps another word could be substituted in a couple places?
Write On!
I get the "my therapist" suggestions. If this is biographical, it is a really helpful, healing way to work through our pasts.
I was saddened by the first half of the poem as is expected. But uplifted by the healthy, loving mom of the second half.
I have no suggestions for change.
This is a moving poem.
Write On!
I was attracted to this poem by its subject matter. You did a wonderful job of describing their wide variety of moods. I enjoyed the flow from billowy to threatening to wispy and dream-like. Nice to read.
One spelling/grammar comment: I believe that it should be "reside the scattered and billowy clouds" instead of "resides"
Over-all: This is a very pleasant poem.
Write On!
Wonderful "colorful" description of the beauty, and brevity of Autumn. I enjoyed this poem, appreciated the rhyme, and the conciseness of the poem. Really like the final line.
No suggestions for change.
Well written poem depicting marriage vows. It is sad that far too often as they grow old the passion does fade. You have expressed well this common occurrence. A poem like this, read slowly and regularly, might lead to a different ending.
Detailed descriptions take the reader to the setting very effectively. Very gripping. I was drawn into the descriptions of the movers,I thought they were the main character, and then flipped emotionally to Kathy. Well written, and sad. Much emotion compacted into a short space.
I was surprised by the ending, good hook. I am actually relieved to find that it was a dream, it was bringing up some intense feelings in me. I believe you succeeded in the theme you proposed.
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