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Review Requests: OFF
701 Public Reviews Given
718 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
The purpose of my reviews is always to be as helpful as possible. I can't promise that I'll like what you have written or that you'll like what I have to say, but I try to be respectful and encouraging as well as critical.
I'm good at...
Unless otherwise requested, I'm picky (grammar, cliches, and meter in poetry). Characters and writing style take a lot to impress me.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi (apocalypse, post-apocalypse, dystopian, zombie), mystery, war, inspirational, historical fiction, Christian, non-fiction, contemporary, drama, comedy
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, short stories, non-fiction, novels
I will not review...
Erotica, gay/lesbian, fan-fiction
Public Reviews
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Review of The Bottle  
Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Thomas,

This is a good poem with a good message. I like your meter and rhyme, although there are some parts which I would run over again.

Everyone seems to hate reviewers picking out little spelling mistakes, but I personally don't have a problem with this because I believe it polishes the writing and makes it shine. So, if you don't mind, I spotted two spelling mistakes: second line, 'your' should be 'you're' (as in 'you are') and second to last line 'bare' (nude) should be 'bear' (carry).

Good poem! Keep writing.

~ Kasia
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Review of God the Merciful?  
Review by Fi
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)

I'm sorry you believe this. Truly. Read this poem to the face of Almighty God on Judgment Day.
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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Daizy~ haircut,

This is a beautiful poem. You have created a clear picture with a simple yet very true message - I'm sure God is proud of you!

Thanks for sharing this delight.

~ Kasia

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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Vixen,

5 STARS!!!

This is a beautiful little tale with a good moral, well written!!! I saw no grammar mistakes at all.

One thing I would change, however, is: 'They both laughed at the idea of trying to eat a necklace.' This seems to spell it out to much to the reader - readers don't like that. I suggest changing it to just: 'They both laughed at the idea.'

Lovely story! I truly enjoyed reading it! Thanks for sharing!

~ Kasia

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Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Lady Capleton,

I saw your story on the newbie page. I have previously read chapter one. I really did enjoy reading your story. Your writing is good. I hope you find this feedback useful.


*CheckR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: This is a capturing story which pulls you into each chapter. I like the strong, underlying suspense you have used which the reader does not notice consciously. The reader easily connects with and understands your protagonist. The emotion is strong in Sylvia and you have done well in sharing it with the reader.


*Check* Form, Format and Meter (as applicable): I have no scruples with the layout of your story. You have started it in an appropriate place. Good job!


*CheckB* Artistic Voice and Imagery: The story is clear and realistic. You have not been too wordy and neither have you provided too much description. This is good!


*CheckG* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I did not notice any mistakes in this area.


*CheckV* Suggestions: One apart from those already stated: At the beginning, in her letter, Sylvia writes: Also, tell Rosalie that I love and will miss her too. I had to pause while reading this sentence because of the 'Rosalie that I love and'. I suggest changing this to: Also, tell Rosalie that I love her and will miss her too.


Fantastic story! Strong suspense has been injected into my veins: I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter! Thank you for sharing. Keep writing!

~ Kasia

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Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

I added a chapter to your interactive story 'The Princess Tales'. I added a name under 'someone else'. Could you change this to 'Mara, daughter of Lervor, King of Palistia' and add someone else in another choice?

I'm enjoying the interactive! Thanks for sharing!

~ Kasia

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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lenna,

I found your haiku while searching for 'haiku' (I am interested in reading, writing, rating and reviewing haikus - it's my latest craze!). I loved reading 'The Praying-Mantis' and hope you find this feedback useful.


*CheckR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: In three lines you have created an unforgettable picture of a little green praying-mantis. The emotion which rose in me as I read this was respect and admiration.


*Check* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I have absolutely no scruples here. Strong sense of rhythm.


*CheckB* Artistic Voice and Imagery: Vivid, strong and well-related. Fantastic job!


*CheckG* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I suggest placing two commas at the end of the first and second lines and a full stop at the end of the last line. I like your choice of adjectives!


*CheckV* Suggestions: None apart from those already stated.


Overall, I delighted in reading this vivid haiku. Thank you for sharing. Write On!

~ Kasia

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Review of Harukaze  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi D.K.Moon,

I found your haiku while searching for 'haiku'. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*CheckR* Overall Impression/Emotional Impact: A very sweet haiku in which the author has cleverly used seventeen syllables to relate to the reader a musical, sweet emotion of spring.


*Check* Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter (as applicable): I thought the last line didn't seem to fit as well; it seemed like an interruption and I had to stop. But I think you have done a beautiful job with this haiku. It flows well and appeals to the reader.


*CheckB* Artistic Voice and Imagery: The image is very clear and unique. Nice job!


*CheckG* Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No errors here.


*CheckV* Suggestions: Perhaps could you change the third line to something like, 'Brass chimes singing songs.' or, 'Sing their songs as chimes.'

Overall, I enjoyed this delightful haiku. Thank you for sharing. Write On!

~ Kasia


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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shayla,

I enjoyed reading this poem. You have used good adjectives, with a strong sense of rhythm and rhyme. You have also passed on a message of encouragement to fellow writers. I can connect easily with this piece because I catch a lot of flak for suddenly going very quiet and thoughtful - which is when an idea for a story or poem is forming. So I'm sure many other writers appreciate this poem. I particularly like the last two lines:

For passion burns within our soul, with patience it abides.
Waiting for the moment our creative fires rise.

So thanks for sharing and keep writing!

~ Kasia
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Review of His Family  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Michael,

I enjoyed reading this story: it is capturing from the beginning and different. The reader warms to the characters, Steve and Jack, instantly.

I think, personally, that the news about their parents' deaths comes a little too suddenly at the end. Do you think you could drop hints throughout the story to get the reader more curious?

Keep writing!

~ Kasia
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Review of Imploring Silence  
Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Lenna,

I think this little story would be great if you put it in some context and made it longer, with perhaps some conflict and resolution. Could you set it years later when Julia has moved on in life, and she's feeling miserable thinking of her childhood and then something happens? Just a suggestion.

Don't give up! Build, add, edit, write, write, write!

~ Kasia
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Review of A Shared Secret  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lenna,

I liked your story.

It is a good story with a quick pace. I liked the message the author gives the reader through this quiet little piece of happiness. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing!

~ Kasia
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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Kathie,

I like your story. It is very sad (made me sing 'Healing Begins' by Tenth Avenue North). It has good grammar, spelling, plot, characters and flow. Gripping, too, holding the reader's attention until the end. The suspense is good and from the beginning the reader wants to know why Selena is driving to the prison and what happened to Angela.

Keep writing!

~ Kasia
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Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
4.5 stars. I really enjoyed reading this story. It is soo sad yet so true! So many lives are like this. It is a bittersweet and lovely story. I particularly liked this sentence: 'In contrast to that pure innocent love, the Donovan household was run by the sour mash of Jack Daniels.' - clever writing! Keep it up!

~ Kasia
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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I see you have a poll. Would you like to publicize your poll, view other polls and help The Poll Page get on its feet by posting your poll on The Poll Page? {e:Smile)

Follow link: http://www.writing.com/main/forums/item_id/1730013... or search 'The Poll Page'.

Thanks for your time. Looking forward to hearing from you...or seeing your poll on The Poll Page!

~ Kasia
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Review of The Wheel Of TIme  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,

I see you have a poll. Would you like to publicize your poll, view other polls and help The Poll Page get on its feet by posting your poll on The Poll Page? {e:Smile)

Follow link: http://www.writing.com/main/forums/item_id/1730013... or search 'The Poll Page'.

Thanks for your time. Looking forward to hearing from you...or seeing your poll on The Poll Page!

~ Kasia
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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
5 Stars! This is an excellent poem! I just loved it. It is so original. It has good rhyming and rhythm and also it is fresh.

I don't think poems can be read in a neutral, artificial voice, but that's okay! We get the point! *Smile*

Thanks for sharing this original masterpiece!

~ Kasia
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Review of A Soul to Save  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.5)
4.5 Stars!

I had the rhythm instantly when I finished the second line. Good rhyming, too. You have used very descriptive words and certainly there is an air about it which is mysterious and drawing.

I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing!

~ Kasia
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219
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting poll!!! I am too scared to review senior members of Writing.com. Oh, and because you seem a likely writer to support, would you like to put this poll on The Poll Page?

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1730013 by Not Available.
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Review by Fi
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story has a very original plot, but I think it stopped too abruptly. Perhaps would it be better to resolve it?

Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed this story.

~ Kasia
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Review of Balanced Beauty  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a beautiful little poem, so small but with so much meaning! Thanks for sharing! ~ Kasia
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Review of Journal Entries  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
5 stars! This is really original! I like it *Smile*
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223
Review of All To You  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Every piece of writing has a bad side. I think there are some parts where the rhythm isn't strong enough in this poem.

Apart from that, it's really good. I really like this piece of poetry. It is happy, unlike so many other depressing pieces about losing love, and I like optimism, determination as opposed to depressing, pointless, giving-up type poems, which, unfortunately, are too common. So thank you for this lovely poem!

Keep writing!
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Review by Fi
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a good poem.

It has strong rhyming, although the rhythm needs a touch up. It has a fresh look at an interesting subject. (I do not like teenagers saying 'I'm independent now' to their parents! I think it's so rude after what parents give to their children.)

Anyway, I think it's a nice poem with meaning. Keep it up!

~ Kasia
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Review of Make God Smile  
Review by Fi
Rated: E | (5.0)
5 STARS!! This is a beautiful poem! I really do love the wording, the moral, the story, the rhythm and rhyming. So keep it up!
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