Hi there Carly!

Evening Sky was a splendid piece which imagery was awesome. It's vivid and appealing. I can see how the clouds hovered through the clearest blue sky, how the darkness rolled over like curtains slowly covering those soft foamy clouds breasting through the azure sky.

Here you defined that even how beautiful, how brilliant life is, there's always a darkest side of it. There's always problems that ruin our days. However, hope and faith are always in our hearts. And when tomorrow comes, there would be another brilliant brand new day. Tis the essence of life.

I found no grammatical flaw. I liked the smooth flow of lines. Lines were short but has meaning worth to ponder.

I enjoyed reading your poem Carly. Thanks for sharing and Write on! Happy Holidays!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there April Desiree!

"Winter" was a fine choice of title. It surely will capture readers of all kinds most especially this season of snow.

Content was surprising. At a first glance on the title, images of snowflakes, snowman and any other winter thing were painted on my mind. I thought of Christmas, yet I was wrong. Here you talked about your feeling- lonely, sad and cold for he was no longer there at your side. You long for his warmth but he's not there. His love for you had died, faded and no longer will bloom again for it wilted. That's the winter of your life.

Imagery ws vivid and appealing. Every scene was clear. The emotion revealed were sad, lonely and sorrowful. Rhyming is in perfect and beautiful ABCB pattern. Lines flow smoothly.

I found no error in grammars. I loved this classic piece. I was like reading the works of my favorite classic poets -Frost and Longfellow. Great job April! You have their blood in your veins!

Overall, a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing! Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Lina Black!

"My Freedom" is a beautiful poetry that portrays how you wished then found your freedom. The title said it all. And it's just a nice choice for it has this dragging charisma that surely will tempt readers to read.

This poem moved me in a way that made me realize and think of the situation I'm in right now. Honestly, I felt no freedom in here ever since I came to this place. You don't know how much I wanted to go home but I just can't, I'm afraid. And I need to finish my college (they promised to finance me actually. ]

This feeling keeps on haunting me and sometimes it made me regret the decision I made before coming here. If you were me, maybe you would hate life, maybe you would blame Him for bringing you to this place. I found no joy, everyday is a never ever good if she's here. She always watch every move I take and will find faults in every good things I've done. It's true and I started to hate life. I'm sorry, this seems going far out from the topic. I just wanted to burst out this feeling haunting me within. And this she I'm talking about is my Auntie's cousin. Good thing there's WDC, my only escape and companion.

Oh, that's how powerful this piece is Lina. I'm not suppose to shout this out here in the public but after reading your wonderful piece, I did confess.

Anyways, this is indeed a beautiful write touching every reader's heart. I love the appealing and visual imagery. No found error in grammars and spelling.

Thanks Lina for a wonderful read. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there April Desiree!

         The Wrath is a piece of hope and faith. Here you expressed how you overcome and conquered the life's battles, how firm you stood everytime you tumbled down, how you found light amidst the darkest road. You never forget Him whatever happened to you. You held Him strong enough to never loose His guiding hands. And that made you win.

This piece was one of my inspiring reads. Imagery was great. Emotion was sincere. I found no grammatical flaw and the lines just freely flow.

I have no idea or point of information to suggest because this was a perfect write worth to ponder upon.

Thanks Des for another inspiring poetry. You truly are a great poet and writer. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Greetings April Desiree!

This is a beautiful piece written by a heartbroken writer. You don't know how much this affected me in a way that it brought me to tears. This awaken my deeply slumbered love, the love I strugged to forget then. It brought me too much pain that made me swore not to love again. My heart still cries, grieving for my lost, lamenting ever since the day she left me.

Our vows, our promises were like bubbles poked midair. It burst and disappeared. And I left nothing but a tormented heart. You know it's hard to move on, but a least I tried and yes, I succeeded. This piece, is just perfect for me.

The emotion you revealed was sad, lonely and sorrowful. I liked the consistent and perfecf ABCB rhyming. Imagery was vivid. I found no error with grammars.

Overall, a great write Des! Thanks for a wonderful read. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Eyestar!

The Rose was a perfectly choosen title for your 'oh so beautiful' piece. At first glance at it, readers would never hesitate to read on and uncover what and how the rose played into you poem. Here you expressly described the utmost beauty of this nature's element- the rose. You excellently choosen words to accompany and describe your subject.

I loved the picture you are drawing in my mind. Imagery was awesome and appealing. I can see how elegant, can feel how soft its petals, I can see how it dance with the wind.

I uncovered what meaning you wanted to convey. And that you said, on the last part, that external beauty and grandeur will just fade and would never last eternal. As with the rose, her beauty faded, lost it's elegance and luster, and one by one dropped into the ground leaving here useless and ugly.

I found no error in everything. It's just a perfect piece Eyestar, I tell you that. Here you explained to me why I love nature genres..And I liked the structure of this piece. Good job!

Thanks Eyestar for letting me read nand comment on your piece. Continue to inspire readers like me. Write on! and Happy Accoumnt Anniversary!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Yellowrose!

Giving Thanks was a great choice of title. It surely will tickle readers' interest to read your beautiful offering. Your title said it all. It provided your readers a quick summary to what your piece is all about.

Here you expressly emphasized the beauty of His creation, the great and magnificent things He bestowed us with. And that is what we must be grateful of. Here you instill to our mindd that we need to give thanks to every blessing He showered upon. And that was what made this piece more than beautiful.

I liked the flow of lines. It's as smooth as river flowing downstream. Every word conveyed meaning so worthy to ponder upon. This indeed, a food for thought and soul. A perfect for everyday reading.

I loved the last lines:

"The morning sun will shine for us again
Brighten someone's day with a big smile"

It's very fresh and inspiring.

I found no grammatical glitch. It's just perfect and excellent write worthy for five stars.

Thanks Yellowrose for letting me read this. Continue to inspire readers by crafting more and more words from your heart.

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Yellowrose!

Invisible is a beautiful piece which character was neglected, abandoned, ignored by many. Here you expressed a feeling of emptiness, as if he [the speaker on your piexe] didn't exist, he weren't there, nobody cared for him, that he was invisible. The character felt as if the world hated him that much. And yes, I too, sometimes felt the same. It's too much pain to be in such situation.

I loved the beautiful rhyming and the smooth flow of lines. The way it was presented was clean and nice. Imagery was visual.

Emotion revealed was sad and lonely.

Overall, great write! Thanks for sharing this Yellowroses! Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Greetings Mallory!

Welcome to writing.com!

I especially visited your portfolio to find items to read and review. And yes, I got your first write for Writing.com. After reading your piece, wow I can say that you have a blood of a great writer. This piece might be fresh in here, however, with the beauty it bears, this was like written by a pro.

Bare, being its title was a great choice. Short word of four letters but this, said it all. This provided a quick snapshot to the entire piece. This has an awesome drag, pulling readers to read on. Keep it up!

Your piece tells what a writer is. What they do, and why they write. "What's the reason for writing?" was the hidden interrogation that you carefully uncovered as your pen crafted every line of your piece. You beautifully exposed the reason behind this. You etched into our minds that writing is the writer's voice. Maybe silent, but the meaning/message/emotions we wanted to expressed are real unfathomable. We write to inspire, to utter our heart's voices, to touch everyone's heart and move them in any way. The pieces we produced are means to expressed the things we could never say. And these you expressly stated in your poem.

I found no grammatical flaw with grammars and spelling. Punctuation was properly applied. I love the rhyming of the piece except the first stanza that you failed to rhyme. Emotion was well expressed. Imagery was vivid and visual.

Overall, great write! Thank you for sharing this Mallory! Welcome and Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Greetings Iamthenez!

Welcome to Writing.com! My name is Gervic, one of the guest judges in "Invalid Item" . I thank you for spending your time and effort to participate in this contest.

The following are the things I found out after reading your piece. Thus, feel free to take suggestions you think are helpful and discard those that aren't.

First Impression:

You don't know how much you moved me with this piece. Every time I read this again and again, it brought my eyes to tears. Your words were tiny needles piercing me within. I just can't hold it. You have perfectly word and narrated the old woman's lament.

Title:

Old in the Cold says it all. Your title here provides a short summation, a quick snapshot to what your piece is talking about. You did great on choosing this.

Imagery:

I love the picture you are drawing . The scene is visual and appealing. I can see how the woman cries. I can feel the pain, the extreme sorrow she's suffering in.

Emotion:

In this story too short with words not exceeding a hundred, you perfectly expressed the sad and lonely emotions. I pitied the old woman more than how the hotdog man felt.

Grammars and Sentence Structure:

I found not a single flaw with grammars. Punctuation was properly applied. No error on spelling detected. However, this sentence " So on her day goes, ignored by all but purveyors of food as she tends to her wintered child." looks vague to me. Will it sounds better if you say, "So when her day passes, ignored by all but purveyors of food as she tends to her wintered child."

Favorite Line:

Tattered clothes found filled with
bones come morn.

Overall:

This is indeed a great write! And oh, it looks pretty with the ribbon it now bears. Congrats!

I enjoyed my read actually. Thanks Iamthenez for sharing this. Keep Writing!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there OOT!

From Flame to Ashes is indeed a beautiful choice of title. From the first item I read to this, oh I can say you're best in giving titles. This as well has an awesome drag and captured my interest. Looking at the title itself, there was this something set ablazed, set fired. Turned into an ember then to ashes and then gone. And that's a love never binding, not strong thus it didn't last forever.

This is the feeling called a puppy love. At first it's too hot, ferocious and then sooner or later it fades and then vanish.

I liked the intense emotion expressed. Imagery is vivid. I found no error. A beautiful free verse piece indeed.

Thanks for letting me read this OOT! Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic

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Hi there OOT!

Trudging amidst the stillness of night
Where nature slumbers.
Sky drops its myriad lights
Spying its silent wanderer.

As Nature Sleeps is a beautiful piece of poetry. It has that awesome charisma that drags and tickles the reader's interest. At first glance on it, readers would never hesitate to read on.

I loved the way you presented this. You interacted with the nature's element. You talked to it as if its human. Here you used the power of personification. Imagery is visual and appealing. You surely brought me to a night walk as nature sleeps while reading this.

I found no grammatical flaw. You successfully have written a piece that's worthy to be called HAIBUN.

I enjoyed my reading and I thank you for the wonderful read. Keep inspiring readers, keep writing!

Best regards,
Gervic

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Hi there OOT!

GONE is a sad sonnet and poem of regret. You brought back those memories that I never ever wanted to recall, the memories I tried to forget. It would just give me much pain, my heart cries. Those memories, times that I considered nightmare now haunting me after I read this piece.

To admit, I felt the same. My lover broke up with me and found someone better than I am. I don't know.

I am not angry with you but rather proud of you. Your words were too powerful that moved me this way. I tell you, this is just a perfect write. I loved the rhyming and the smooth flow.

Though this left teardrops on my eyes, I still love this and will give 5 stars.

Thanks for sharing this OOT. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Ida Matilda!

What is that Prompt is a humorous and sometime true. We can't ignore the fact that sometime the power of forgetfulness defeats us. Though it's just a small thing, when it's because you misplaced or forgot it, to a frantic search you would fall.

I liked the way you wrote this poem. It talked about forgetful and a prompt being forgotten was about forgetful too. That made your piece beautiful.

While I found no grammatical flaw, a typographical error was detected. On the part fist stanza, ward must be word. It matters most since it changed the thought.

All else was great, Imagery is clear.

I enjoyed my reading Ida. Thanks for sharing abd keep writing.

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Greetings Tina!

"The Thoughful Woman" said it all. This was just a great choice of title. I love the style of your acrostic. With simple words, you successfully expressed and emotion with this. This is a food for the mind that enriches the soul of your readers.

Imagery is awesome and the rhyming is perfect and constant ABCB pattern. On the part third stanza, Would it be Men that await instead of Men that awaits?

Anyway, this was a great write! Thanks for sharing Tina!.Happy Account Anniversary and keep writing!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Scythe!

This is indeed a horrific piece with a well drawn imagery. I can see how your head fell after being ripped. What I understood with this piece was that you were afraid, frightened in the midst of darkness. You were afraid to die but death took you.

I enjoyed reading this piece though it brought me much goosebumps. Thanks for sharing! Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Ink Imp!

Tumble is a beautiful poem teaching lessons to its readers. Why do I alwasys slip and fall? you asked, everybody's question. Mistakes, failure, falling back, tumbling diwn is part of life's struggle towards success, winning and fame. It doesn't mean one is too careless, negligent because of frequent failing. Instead, it's a test on how well you cope up, how you stand proud, how you move on and how strong you are to proceed and contunue the battle you once started.

I learned a lot from this piece. Thanks for sharing Ink Imp. Happy Account Anniversary and Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there BigGrin!

Why Smile? has the awesome charisma that drags me to read this beautiful piece. In few simple words, you perfectly defined the goodness of smiling and you emphasized how it brightens everyone's day. Smile is a gift that given for gratis. It is something that's too valuable, a precious gift to bestow yet costs you not a single centavo.

I considered this as an AABB rhyming poem and you sucessfully made it with a liquid flow. However, there seemed to be an inconsistent rhyming on the part third stanza. That is, qualities won't rhyme with leaves.

Anyway, I enjoyed my reading. Thanks for the share BigGrin! Happy Account Anniversary and Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Shaara!

This is indeed fantastic! You brought me into the world of fantasy as I was reading your piece. I do agree with you, many believed that fanasyland is too far, unreal, a mind's creation. But we can find our our own fantasyland on places we feel comfortable, serene, and peaceful. Fantasyland doesn't actually mean dragons, fairies, magic and some enchanted creatures. Fantasy lives within our hearts.

I love the consistent AABB rhyme scheme. Flow is as smooth as silk. I found no flaw with grammars and punctuation and spelling. The words you carefully gathered creates a piece perfect for a read.

You are one of the talented writers Shaara. I enjoyed reading this piece. Keep writing and continue to inspire readers. Happy Account Anniversary! Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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