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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry
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1,516 Public Reviews Given
1,570 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the idea of personifying the clouds as a beautiful lady met for a short space of time before she vanishes. Sometimes the clouds seem to assume shapes in a magical and fanciful way and your poem captures this perfectly. The simplicity of the repetition and single rhyme scheme work well here at capturing the special moment.
2
2
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this poem in which poetry, night time and art are interwoven in a musical rhythm which mirrors the concept of a dance. At points all the lines in the stanzas rhyme, especially towards the middle and end, which added a sense of climax to the poem as the beauty of darkness and the poetic art entwined in the lovely desccriptions.
3
3
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the internal rhyme of 'Much beauty to see, under the sea' which is repeated to give the poem a song-like refrain. The way that the poem is laid out with the animations, pictures and appropriately coloured text is fun and impressive. The poem details the beauty of the sea in vivid imagery that expresses the magic of the natural coastal environment and this made this poem a joy to read.
4
4
Review of Universal Love  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderfully musical and heartfelt poem of love. I enjoyed its timeless nature and the way it expresses feeling is such a personal and special way as well. The references to the weather and changing seasons, plus the rhyming couplets, remind me of traditional love poetry in a beautiful way
There should be apostrophes for: 'spring's' and 'season's'
5
5
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed how this poem reflects the funadmental nature of fungi -- feeding on waste and things that are no longer needed and recycling them into something useful. Parallels were drawn with the human psyche and this poem therefore added a deeper meaning to appreciation of autumn fungi.
6
6
Review of The Wood Spider  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece is full of humour and I love the alteration in the reaction of the characters who declare they are brave but are clearly not! I could easily picture the scene and Aunt Lidia’s panicked dance was especially funny.
You mention that there are three adults present but only Aunt Lidia and Grandpa are named. Perhaps add in a third name or if the narrating character is the third person then add in a sentence written in the first person to make this clear.
If possible within the word limit, a description of the appearance of the spider and how it moves would be good to add to its menace to the characters.
As the room was evacuated at the end, I wondered if a window might have been left open in the hope that the spider would leave or if this might mean more spiders come in!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of My Wish  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed the peaceful mystique of this poem and the way that it fits the idea of a heavenly journey. I se that the phloem is based on songs lyrics and this comes across well by conveying a musical quality. The juxtaposition of ‘t o know the unknown’ was intriguing.
8
8
for entry "Saving The Dragon" 
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The name Atarath is perfect for a dragon and the pictures of Willow and Atarath are goregeous and help me picture the story. The part where you described Willow and Atarath meeting when she was a girl and he saved her was exciting and would be nice as another story. I clearly saw how caring Willow is as she bravely rescued Atarath from the knights who sought to trap him when he wasn't feeling well.
9
9
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed this fast-paced and exciting adventure story. The dystopian world of a future destroyed by war made for an interesting setting and I liked how well grounded Chris was in the natural world as an adventurer from a young age as this equipped him to be an interesting protagonist. The wolves with heads of men were a great and original adversary and I liked the ending where the Goldar bird equips Chris and Kat with persuasive abilities and gives them the chance to go back to the past to correct the mistakes made in the war.

Here are a few suggestions, most are grammar related as the story would benefit from editing though.
How did Chris and Kat survive the apocalypse? This would be an interesting detail to add in.
Here there is no apostrophe needed in 'nation's' and later I see you used the capital 'the Nations' when a small letter is needed.
'The Kat, Chris expedition gather' this should be gathered.
The apostrophe after shelves isn't needed here: 'shelves’ full of books.'
'wolf-like creatures with faces like a man' this should be like men.
'faces like humans? looks more like' there should be a capital L for looks here.
'Spears and knife-like steaks' should be 'spears and knife-like stakes'
'Seemed Like the best place' no capital for like here.
'The boulders’ tare apart the raft' should be 'The boulders tore apart the raft.'


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of I Used To Believe  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece written from the perspective of a cat worked well. The beauty queen persona was captured beautifully and I enjoyed seeing the changes wrought by Covid-19 from the perspective of a cat. The structure of the story worked well, with idioms at the start expressing the cat's complacent enjoyment of the world. The fact the perspective is of that of a cat has to be guessed at by readers as the piece progresses. Humans aren't the only one to find the changed Covid brings uncomfortable as the cat does too, and the ending 'You are here all the time, aren't you' set an ominous tone as I wondered if the owner was very sick, hospitalised or even dead. The final words 'I used to believe I was safe at home' are highly appropriate and chilling.
11
11
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem is full of vivid imagery and you use sensory language and descriptive techniques well. I also liked the rhyme scheme as at first the poem did not use many rhyming words, but later the final stanzas rhymed as if the speaker of the poem grew more sure in the interpretation of the character they describe.
I found the meaning of the poem a little confusing so perhaps you might consider adding some more lines to explain more about the character being described and the reaction of the speaker of the poem to her. It seems you are trying to describe a character who thinks well of themselves but they are actually cruel and have a destructive influence on the lives of others but that they cannot help being this way? It seems by the end of the poem the speaker says the character is harmed by the 'rot' of their nature too and that anyone who wants a relationship with them should be aware of this and be sympathetic towards them? This is just my interpretation of the poem based on the content, but if some areas of the interpretation do not seem to reflect your meaning then perhaps look back at the poem and see if you can make the meaning a little clearer?
I had not come across the term 'punt' in a bottle before and upon looking it up I discovered it was the dome shape in the base of some wine bottles. I like the extended metaphor of wine and roses in the poem and if you consider adding to the poem perhaps these metaphors might be extended.
I wondered if you had deliberately capitalised 'Subtle' for emphasis as a capital is not grammatically correct. Maybe use italics or all capital letters for this word to make the emphasis clearer so readers don't assume it is a mistake.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review of Ocean In Absentia  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This amusing short piece captures the mood of the prompt picture excellently with humour and deft observation of human nature. I like how the first mate refuses to meet the captain's eye and his ironic reply to the captain the best. The use of repetition and alliteration gives the piece a memorable and poetic quality.
I hadn't actually heard of the idiom "three sheets to the wind" before and had to look it up as at first I wondered if it related to the ship sails. If the word limit allows, perhaps you could add a reference to the fact he has been drinking as well? I like the three sheets to the wind and I recommend keeping it in, just maybe adding that the captain had been over-indulging in rum or the like as well!
13
13
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an enthralling tale that captures the masterful story-telling and charismatic personality of a special teacher well. I enjoyed the fact that you revealed in the footnote at the end that it was based on a real person and congratulations on getting it published in a periodical.
The descriptions, characterisation and pace were excellent and I became as enthralled by the story as the students. It was a nice touch that the personal story of Mr. Rath's adolescence was set against a very real school backdrop of proms, classroom materials and the timeless tale of 'Wuthering Heights' (this added a touch of doomed romance appropriate to the story Mr. Rath tells).
I felt that you did an excellent job of structuring the story with arresting opening lines that clearly set the scene, plot build up and cyclical structure ending.

Some suggestions:
I personally found the repeated mentions of the modest gray tie and tweed jacket unnecessary as I could already clearly picture Mr. Rath from the opening description. However, I can appreciate that maybe you prefer to keep the repetitions for effect.
I wondered if you might clarify for readers how common car ownership was amongst college students of the late sixties (and modern times) to readers such as myself who live the UK where few college students have passed their driving test or can afford to own their own car? I also wondered who Mr. Rath borrowed the car from -- a friend, relative etc? Maybe suggest that he was allowed to borrow the car so long as he looked after it and he was keen to impress upon the lender that he would, hence the hours spent on polishing and repairing it.
A capital letter isn't needed after a semi-colon: "Know this about adolescence; You Will Survive!"

Thank you for the enjoyable and interesting read and happy writing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story, in turns amusing and gripping (pun intended, just like the army tank haha!) had me reading on with interest. You conveyed how everyday life contains bizarre and unexpected incidents well and prepared readers for this with the opening paragraphs about the various accidents and injuries your children got into on camping trips. The army tank is certainly extremely memorable and sounds a very awkward rescue, I'm pleased Christopher was relatively okay after his time with this arm stuck!
I found the final sentence a little confusing, perhaps "he never would talk about it afterwards" or something similar would make it clearer?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review of Prahlada  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You did an excellent job of conveying this sanscrit story in an interesting way. I had the feel both of traditional storytelling and of capturing the character and anger of Hiranyakasipu realistically to hold the interest of the reader. His hatred for his son and the ways in which he tortured him for his worship of Vishnu made the king's ending well deserved. I thought the message of how no mortal can outwit a god no matter how canny they try to be worked well.
16
16
Review of A FRIEND  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful and inspiring piece of writing to a special friend. As well as being specifically about Sandra, the piece brings in a lot of good points about what makes for a good friend as she motivates others through the way she approaches difficult time and how she shares her abundance of wisdom, creativity and smiles in way that make others feel better when they are around her. The praise to God for such a good friend that ends this piece works well and giving it a deeper resonance.
17
17
Review of 10 Days of Spring  
for entry "Fantasy Convention" 
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved the idea of setting a story at a fantasy convention. The fantasy castle setting was beautifully described and I loved the blend of different characters. Is there a word limit to this? The ending felt a little rushed so I’d maybe add a bit more to in if possible? For example, one minute Sharon was worried she hadn’t changed into her costume and the next she was dressed as Arwen. Maybe describe to costume and how it feels to wear? Also I’d like one of two more sentences right at the end about how she feels transported into the magical world.
18
18
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece does well at incorporating a lot of ideas relating to the Counting Stars song. Christina Grimme’s life and how the song links to her is explored first. I liked how the piece then moves on to link to a quote from literature about a greedy businessman seen counting stars by a prince who believes in a more beautiful and spiritual role for stars. This led on to a wider message about wealth and the meaning of life.
19
19
Review of Daffodils  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a meaningful poem about the joy of spring and the natural world and how as a child it seems to hold treasure as the little girl collects daffodils to put on her birthday cake. I enjoyed the contrast in the final stanza as we see her as a grown woman hardened by experience but the sight of daffodils takes her back to a happy time in her life as she remembers her birthday as a child and the pretty garden the the maple and bird singing. The story about the writer at the end was poignant -- thank you for sharing Mary's words on WDC so they can be read and enjoyed.
20
20
Review of 10 Days of Spring  
for entry "Phoenix" 
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the vivid and beautiful imagery in this piece and could easily imagine the phoenix rising from the ashes. The contrast of the dark ash and bright colours of the phoenix; red and vivd green eyes, worked well. The final part of this piece linking phoenixes to spring and the cycle of rebirth was interesting and gave the piece a deeper meaning.
It may be because I am from the UK, but 'alit' is normally spelled 'alight'.
21
21
Review of Egg sg  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very sweet sig, I love how the fairy is posed like a ballerina. Her dress and wings look silky and remind me of flower petals. It is a nice touch how she seems to be sprinkling fairy dust out of the egg and the sparkling dust has the effect of blowing away as if a magical breeze is carrying it.
22
22
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the mix of traditional vampire story elements like the historic, high-class setting, garlic and superstitions, with original details in a modern day time period. For example, setting the complex family plot from the point of view of child Violet worked well as readers discovered the plot from her more limited and initiative point of view. Lots of twists here, I especially liked how the WW2 pilot vampire hunter turned out to be Violet’s great grandfather.
23
23
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed reading this Lenten adventure piece, both the creative story from the point of view of a woman who met and became a follower of Jesus, and the personal notes about the Lenten writing challenge at the end. The story was dramatic and interesting and the character reminds me of a blend of Mary Magdalene and the fisherman disciples, it was convincing and insightful how she turned away from a life of loneliness and wishing she was rich to a life where she loves Jesus and finds happiness in following him and trying to convert others, despite of the hardships she faces. The story of how religion was entwined with your life and how you found the writing challenge helpful at strengthening your faith was a nice prologue to the story.
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24
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this vividly written description of life for an upper class woman who becomes a nurse in the First World War. The focus on dialogue, action and thoughts made the story full of interest and easy to picture. It had a quick pace that made reading it feel like watching a television drama as a lot of focus was given to characterisation through dialogue. The description of the matron and how Lady Acton's life changes so radically were particularly interesting.
25
25
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story is full of humour and interest. I enjoyed the opening lines setting up Rudolph carefully tiptoeing away from his wife, Cilla, who is prone to getting annoyed if woken up early. The episode with the chickens was a funny twist on the tradition of a magician's rabbit and I enjoyed the circular structure as they create havoc jumping onto Cilla's bed and making her spill the coffee.
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