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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: ON
1,473 Public Reviews Given
1,527 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review of Elf Story  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed how this story draws upon traditional fairy folklore and it had an especially Victorian feel to it, reminding me of tales like The Goblin Market where small fey beings are presented as dangerous abducting beings, here poor Lucius the cat! The blend with modern details like the cell phone and the hilarious reaction of the elves to this was good. There was a clear and deep bond between Eleanor and her car and this motivated the plot, I’m pleased the ending was happy!
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a story full of romance and drama. I love how the happy time of Christmas and Angelique’s wedding plans are conveyed creating an atmosphere of beauty in her apartments fit for her as a princess. The two dogs were a lovely addition and I like how well you capture the characters of Angelique, Nigel and the maid snd royal family. Because of this I felt a clear sense of trauma as Nigel was believed to be dead and it was great to find him returning with the help of a brave wolf at the end.
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Review of HAPPINESS  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely piece meditating on the blessings of life, both big and small. The title ‘baskets of happiness’ is uplifting and conveys not only the baskets you make but also reminds us of the gifts of happiness God gives. The piece is written in a convincing and easy to follow way.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I liked the suspenseful contrast between love and war in this poetic story. The young soldier holds on to life when he was injured in battle by remembering his vow to return to the southern belle he was in love with. Despite her family mansion being attacked the young lady and her family survive and she is eventually reunited with her lover. This story showed the full range of emotions and made a gripping read.
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Review of Even Prompter  
for entry "Hoot Owl" 
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed how the opening of the poem captures the juxtaposition of the silent motion of the owl hunting on the wing with its loud hoots. The lines show close observation of the owl and I particularly liked:
downy nestlings wait,
all of one accord
I feel this line perfectly captures the way owl nestlings crowd together as they wait in the nest for food to be brought to them by their parents.
I enjoyed how the second stanza brings in imagery of classical tragedy plays, giving the owl's predatory nature a higher, mythical quality. This captures the deadly beauty of the owl effectively and in a memorable way.
Thank you again for your wonderful review of my poem 'The Mistletoe Bride' -- as it was Hallowe'en yesterday I decided to share the poem on my author blog page with a link to your review to encourage others to enjoy your work on Writing.com:
https://hollymerryauthor.wordpress.com/2023/10/31/...
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
What I liked best:
The donkey with the mischievous smile was a great addition to the story and made me think of a prankster school kid that the others have to watch out for. I liked how you developed this idea by having the little white cow stand up for herself when he steals her hay. This conveys a good message about the importance of standing up for yourself and the scene made me smile as the donkey gives up.
I got a sense that the farmer was kind and that the other cows looked out for the little white cow and this made me happy because it sounds like she has a good life on the farm. It was good to see her becoming friends with the other cows.

Some thoughts and suggestions:
'Three brown cows with a white face' needs to be 'Three brown cows with white faces' if there are three cows.
I wondered how the cows tossed the ball -- do they use their heads to flick it into the air? This detail would be nice to add in to make the poem even more vivid.
The end line about the white cow being an attraction was lovely and this made me wonder if the farm is maybe one that families can visit to pet the animals?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of GRATEFUL HEART  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved how well each word in this acrostic poem fitted ideas of gratitidue and happiness. The poem is uplifting with each line having a lot of significance. The positive thoughts and message to remember to be thankful for the gifts life gives us is such an important one and expressed in an easy to follow way here. The rhymes at the end and half rhymes work well to add a musical effect to the poem.
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Review of Stark  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The colour imagery perfectly mirrors the picture, meaning that I could imagine the scene from the words of the poem even if I hadn’t seen the image. I also liked how you captured the stark contrast of light and made that the title for your poem. This is perhaps a metaphor for the fact that even on a tropical beach all is not well as the tree bends with the weight of the swing seat and storm clouds mass. The image ‘an inky teardrop caught in the moment of impact’ was particularly vivid.
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Review of Vox  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with Flights of Fantasy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This piece is a detailed description of a society called the Kindred and shows excellent worldbuilding skills. Various levels of society and their relationships are described. The quote from Napoleon beginning the piece is the perfect starting point for the philosophical messages about societal relationships and power contained within the story. The piece would work well as an opener or backstory for a longer book.

Some suggestions:
I found the lack of clearly defined characters and the density of information a little off putting. The piece reads like a lecture or lesson and it might help to actually present it as such, maybe with a named character writing these lines or speaking them as a lesson to other characters?
‘self destructive’ should be hyphenated.
I was unsure what an Ordo Dracul and when I looked it up it appeared to be a vampire. Maybe some explanation on the story might help readers understand the meaning.
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Review of 7-11  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you very much for choosing me as a winner for day seven of the reviewing celebration. It was a wonderful surprise and I was delighted to hear I was chosen. The celebration is a lovely idea and it’s nice to see so many other WDC members recognised for their reviewing.
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Review of Greener  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely personal motto that reminds one of the power of perseverance and putting a dedicated effort into things in order to get anywhere in life. I feel this particularly applies to writing where there is so much to learn. However, by practice and the help from others like yourself I feel I am gradually improving.
I hope you’ve had a good summer and found some time for writing and art projects, plus spent lots of time with your family.
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Review of Temptation  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece captures the joy of swinging in poetic language that speaks to the emotions of readers. The beginning if full of memories of the wonderful time the swing had as a beloved plaything for a child.
‘that weightless moment as we hovered between ascent and the downward rush to embrace repeat’ is my favourite line as it conveys the busy flight of the swing and the moment of stillness seeing the view from on high that is the main joy of being on a swing.

The single sentence paragraph ‘I know what you’re thinking’ and direct address of the swing to the elderly adult works so well at arresting the flow of thought and brining the poem to the present moment. After the mediation on the delights of swinging as a child the sentence is exactly what comes to the mind of the reader too.
I enjoyed the blend of humour ‘think of the grandkids’, nostalgia and the sense of a gentle meeting of two old friends in the last part of this piece. The fact the elderly person enjoys the rest of sitting on the swing but then began to swing on it faster until they felt like a child again was a heartwarming image.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful image full of the colour and joy of autumn. I love the shot of the sun shining through the trees and spreading its rays over the vibrant orange and red leaves. The picture seems like a poem in itself. The letter in gold works well as it is in keeping with the natural colour of the leaves.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
What I liked best:
The idea of a door not to be opened was exciting and I wondered what was beyond. The emergence of the Guinea pig was a great surprise and I love how the main character accompanied him into a land full of Guinea pigs in order to help them out. Having to train as a hunter to infiltrate the human camp where she finds her captured brother was a tense and exciting scene. This felt like the beginning of a novel as the character transforms into a Protector after the death of her brother and I wonder what happens to hear after that.

Some suggestions:
There are a number of odd (T) marks throughout which need deleting.
I wondered why the character is surprised after 5 days when the Guinea pig speaks as he spoke to ask for help when she rescued him. Maybe she says: I was surprised to hear you asking for help because I never knew Guinea pigs could speak.
‘’Greetings, your highness" I greet, bowing my head,
Maybe change greet to said as you have greetings earlier so we know what’s going on, also you need a full stop at the end here.
I’d like to have a mention of the brother before the main character recognises him. Also, more detail needs to be given to the parts where she recognises the brother and the fight scene to add realism and drama. This is called show, not tell, and makes the scene believable. Lots of YouTube videos show you how to do this, I recommend Abbie Emmons. Basically you need to imagine you are the character in the scene rather than someone reporting on the events.
The last paragraph is also long given there is so much happening. Splitting it down will help, also each character needs a new paragraph for dialogue.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a lovely review. I enjoy both Jane Austen movies and books but like you agree that the books are better with their witty dialogue, thoughts and detailed background. The opening paragraph worked particularly well at encouraging people to read the book and would work well as blurb.
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for entry "Evening Tea" 
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A lovely poem about a quiet moment sipping tea. I felt a clear sense of peace and comfort from the poem that is perfect for describing an evening scene. The cinnamon spice black tea sounds great and I will look out for done as I enjoy flavoured teas.
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Review of Caring Sides  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully expressive love poem with a nice flow that shows that the speaker of the poem cares deeply for the loved one. I like how the poem creates the feel of a story, with the speaker of the poem having travelled the world and mentioning how they can’t understand why they ever caused their loved one hurt when she is loved in every way for always.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I like the song Moon River and didn’t realise it came from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I haven’t watched the movie but reading your review made me want to. I especially like the sound of how things are only resolved at the last minute as Holly thinks her life has been going wrong until then. The cat sounds cute and I’m pleased he got to realise he had a forever home too as the characters found him in the alley at the end.
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Review of SILENCE  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well put piece about the value of silence to allow us to collect our thoughts and feel in touch with God as He speaks to us in a spiritual dimension. I like how you opened it by referring to the song ‘The Sound of Silence’ and how it inspired the thoughts conveyed here. The use of capitals for the key words worked well.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem shows how every word can be full of meaning and a short poem be as impactful as a longer one at conveying feeling. I enjoyed the part where the clouds fled and reveal the lovely view as this always seems like a treat. The ending of the poem on the words ‘The hill, my dog, and me’ captures the essence of this poem.
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Review of A Golden Memory  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is a great tribute to a very special person. It was wonderful how well you captured Zahara’s character and vocation in a few short words. Each phrase is meaningful and impactful, especially the words ‘heart of gold’ placed near the start of the poem for impact. The explanatory notes giving a biography of Zahara and her achievements added a deeper understanding to the poem.
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Review of Dragons  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem opens by posing the question of why dragons hold such fascination in our imaginations. I liked the use of questions to end each stanza, plus the way you captured the wonder of the soaring dragon with its ‘silver-tipped wings’. The poem continues with imagery making it clear why dragons hold us in awe, before coming full circle with a call to pick up pen and paper and write about or draw dragons.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the Narnia stories and actually broke from listening to some Narnian music to look on WDC and found this. The poem clearly spells out how Asian is Jesus, a realisation that surely come to the characters as they find their true home st the end of the Last Battle. The use of the quote from the book worked well, as did voicing the poem in quotes for a personal feel.
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for entry "Listen to the Trees" 
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I liked how you opened the poem with the question of if trees speak to the heavens or to humanity. Personally I think both. The repeated refrain on listen to the trees conveys a message that is hard to ignore. I like how you linked the message to environmental concerns at the end.
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Review of Black Gargoyle  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This eerie tale chose a memorable subject in Charsmal the gargoyle. Gargoyles are perfect for a story with their sinister and appearances and the fascinating stories connected to them, but sadly not often found in mainstream fantasy fiction. I like your portrayal of the gargoyle here and his obsession with a woman leading him to transform her into a stone angel and become an evil spirit himself.
I did wonder what happens to the statue of Helene at the end — does she get found on her bed in statue form or is she added to a building as an architectural embellishment?
There is a capital i in since here: SInce the "internet"
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