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Review Requests: ON
1,473 Public Reviews Given
1,527 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Odin (All-Father)  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this meaningful prayer to Odin, full of detailed referenes to Norse mythology. The prayer conjured and strong and interesting impression of a character living in Viking times facing danger and wishing Odin to give them the strenght to overcome the world of suffering in which they find themselves.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a great idea having an online Alice in Wonderland themed word search. I found the shorter words like Lion and Lory hard to spot! Creating the word search must have taken some time and it was amazing how many words from Alice in Wonderland you managed to fit into it!
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short story conveys a clear talent for writing and I cannot suggest any alterations. The story conveyed an immersive atmosphere of life in the city with a few carefully chosen details and gave a real sense of existence. My favourite aspects were the way the characters of the two homeless men, Bruce and Rusty, come across. They meditate on the meaning of life and memory in a thought provoking way. The end of the story was poignant as the men face being homeless in a blizzard. I would recommend approaching homeless charities to see if they would like to publish the story on a website or something, as reading it certainly made me care more about homeless people!
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54
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved how this poem both captures the thoughts that an oak tree might have at different stages of its life and the way that people view it. The triquint structure worked well and I enjoyed seeing the formatted, rhyming lines that must have taken some time to produce. The theme of nature and the beauty of the oak tree is captured in an inspired way.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this poem snd how it captures the importance of being able to look outside and have something to fix your interest on in a view. The sky can been seen and enjoyed everywhere, plus the sea view you had in Moalboal sounds lovely. The poem also expresses the way city views and life could be better if there was less pollution snd more of a friendly community spirit. Overall, an interesting poem with a nice uplifting note at the end.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a great story that held my interest throughout. I loved how well you captured the character of brave and feisty Merida, her mother and father, and the witch and lords. The Scottish setting at the feast table came across strongly as a good setting for the dialogue. The storyline was easy to follow and I liked the part where King Fergus reluctantly has to ask help from the witch.
The only suggestion is that I would like a little more about the Stoorworm and what it looks like and what happens in the fight to make it more immersive and dramatic.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an exciting and easy to read piece and I enjoyed hearing how it was inspired by having Native American ancestry in the note at the beginning. I enjoyed the way that the haunting presence of the Native Americans comes across in everyay life though remnants like the arrow heads, as well as the wonderfully described scene where the Native American figures appear briefly out of the mist.
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Review of Winged friends  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a moving and meaningful story. I liked hearing how well cared for the birds were by your niece and that they had a large cage as it seems odd to keep them inside when the birds outside are free. However, as the yellow bird found when he tasted freedom only to be eaten by a crow there is danger in the outside world. I'm pleased the green bird found safety and happiness as she stayed in her cage and overcame her heartbreak with a new mate.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a tragic and dramatic story. I felt so sorry for Bentl, alone and hurting after the loss of his mate. The fact that he fears the humans may have Bamin and he might use them to get to her was a strong motivation and ultimately it was heartbreaking when he realises they have killed her and their children and that he is the last unicorn. The tragedy of the loss was poignantly descirbed. I also liked how different the characterisation of the human hunters was and how this added to the story.

There are a few places when the dialogue of different characters appears on the same paragraph and this needs adjusting. For example:
Evening, Miss Polly, you goin’ to join us for an evening of drinking and dancing?” “Not tonight, Sam, I just brought this package for you from that taxidermy fella.”
“No killing! It’s out of season.” “There ain’t no season on trophies,"
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Review of I am Lucky  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This beautiful poem is brimming with joy and happiness and I favourited it as I'll be sure to read it again as it is so uplifting. The poem captures the beauty and happiness in life and it is very important to focus on this and be thankful for all that life provides. I like how you blended imagery of both the lovely natural world and human sources of happiness from loved ones in this poem. It reads like a joyful song due to the poetic form.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love how well you captured the feel of a traditional tale like the Arabian Nights here. The description of the Sultan and the world in which he and the characters lives shows a close study of history and this immersed me in the culture. Like many traditional tales this one includes a strong moral about how anyone, no matter their background, can rise through talent and helping others as Muhsin does when he is appointed Wazir by the Sultan. The story is well written and easy to follow.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how this is set out like a movie script or play and the way it is so easy to follow. The character names were cute and funny and the use of repetition would make this memorable for children. The talking animals and plants, plus the gnome, made this feel magical.
I would love to know some of the jokes that Timmy and his friends told the gnome to make him smile, so perhaps you could include some?
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
What a great idea! There are so many exciting writing prompts here I look forward to trying some out when I have time. I love Frozen so the one about Elsa and the unicorn sounds like it would be fun to write. I’m amazed how many prompts you came up with and this must have taken some time to write.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed seeing how you formatted this fantasy story to create a movie script. I got a clear picture of the how the scenes should look and the opening with the riders approaching then zooming in on them and getting to know their characters and purpose made for a dramatic opening. The dialogue and action description builds well and I enjoyed the final conflict scene where the swords shatter like glass.
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Review of Shadow  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem asks some important life questions and the mood is psychologically tense. I like the contrast of emotions from the humour of laughing to the darkness of pain and hatred.
The poem needs formatting so that it is structured as a poem and not as one paragraph. I also wondered whether you wrote 'u' instead of 'you' intentionally to create a specific poetic voice?
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Review of Laura's Unicorns  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very emotional story about the loss of a friend to AIDS. The first sighting of Laura in hospital amongst all thr equipment, looking so frail, was heart wrenching. It made a strong contrast to her previous life full of flirtation and fun. I liked how at the end Laura's passing is associated with the symoblic breaking of a glass unicorn figurine. Candy meditates on how Laura will be free and her spirit seems to find the rest and fulfilment it craves in a gentler fantasy world full of adventure.

Some suggestions:
I'd like to see a bit more of Candy to situate the story from her point of view in the opening as looking at the outside weather and city and then switching to her point of view felt a bit jarring. The backstory of the city of Atlanta came a little too soon as the second line and might work better after we see Candy and get to know her. Maybe something she sees sparks her to think of the history of Atlanta?
Some terms, such as R.N., use hospital vocabluary that some readers might not understand. However, I don't think you need to explain what AIDS means though as it would be familiar to most readers.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a lovely poem expressing a strong sense of the nurturing character of one particular garden loving mother. Yet as I read I also thought of the wider character of Mother Earth caring for each tiny seed and person, just as the mother in the poem is emotionally invested in caring for the plants, crops and family. The poetic structure is excellent and this was an enjoyable and easy to follow read.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
What I liked best:
This is a dramatic tale full of the power and vengence of a god for his daughter whose life was cruelly taken. The emotions were strong -- love for the daughter and hatred for her killers, and conveyed emotively through imagery and adjectives. The ending of the poem forms a resolution to this mythical tale.
Some suggestions:
I'm not familiar with this myth so a short summary would help me understand it if written as a footnote at the end. Also, the only punctation is a full stop at the end and this makes it read as one long sentence. I would recommend either removing the full stop or punctuating the poem throughout.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Giant  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I liked how this poem about imagining what you would do if you were a giant moved from the realm of a fantasy world to provide a message about real life problems like climate change and war. The mention of whales being stranded and nuclear weapons suggests there is much more to the idea of power and that it is a sad waste of power when kindness could prevail. I enjoyed the beautiful natural and fantasy imagery, such as the unicorns and aurora. The build up of the poem was vivid and it held my attention throughout.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a sweet story about the adventure a young kitten called Pippin has when visiting the grocery store. The part about not having any milk and having to eat dry oatmeal was funny as the kittens were disgusted with the idea. I enjoyed how Pippin shows himself to be confident as he goes into the store with his friend Bully and helps Lily out as this makes him a good role model for children. Also he did not get distracted by the goodies like ice cream as I thought he might and spent the money on the milk. An enjoyable and eaasy to follow read that children will love.
I noticed that sometimes the mother is Momma and sometimes Mamma, also Pippin was spelled Pippen at points, so you might want to correct this.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this twist on traditional fairytale roles. Here the princess is the one who is evil wanting to capture the magical unicorn in order to gain power for herself, and the stepmother is a better queen. I enjoyed how well thought through this story was with the princess luring the poor unicorn, Moonlightning, into her trap with sugar cubes just as Meshell the mermaid was attempting to stop her from capturing him. The beauty and power of the unicorn came across strongly, plus the fact that as he is captured the land turns to winter added a great deal of drama. The tale is a gripping read and I'm sure children will be enthralled by the fairytale world.
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Review of I, Katrina  
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This beautiful poem is full of majestic natural beauty and this tone fits the idea of the Empress Katrina who rules over the wind and waves. The Empress is the speaker of the poem and words like ‘Behold’ and descriptions of her queenly appearance and effect on the weather as she moves across the globe create an impression of power. There is a sense of movement in the poetic form and the change from Katrina appearing newly dressed and bright at the start contrasts well with the repeated lines at the end which mention she is now finally beginning to appear ‘tattered’.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a hilarious story that perfectly captures family life. I enjoyed the mix of dialogue, action and description and how the story flowed in a way that maintained interest. The characters in the family are described excellently, especially birthday boy Jason who acts as a typical older brother interested in an adventurous TV show that inspires what to him is the perfect party, but which creates behind the scenes chaos as adults rush to save the day. I loved the mayhem caused when greedy dog Buster eats part of the cake and how the situation was turned around as you saved the day by buying extra sweets that Marsha creatively turns into an even better version of the cake from the point of view of the boys. The story is nicely structured and the final point when Jason asked if Buster could have some cake and everyone in the know laughing in response rounded the tale off nicely.

Some suggestions:
The comma here isn't needed: 'gold-chain-bedecked, Laurence Tureaud'
I'm from the UK so the words 'china hutch' were new to me. Is this a cabinet for storing and displaying china? If so, perhaps you could say that the cake is placed in the hutch alongside some pieces of china that you have on display?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with Flights of Fantasy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
What I liked best:
I loved the opening with its mention of a hidden underworld in the Roman catacombs full of secrets, and the juxtaposition of how the Nosferatu and reviled and attractions for humans. This story has an incredibly atmospheric setting that is perfect for a vampire tale as it blends glamour, darkness and history. The story of how the desire for beauty grew out of control after one ambitious young vampire sought this quality from the priestesses of Galloi made for an interesting and dramatic focus. The unfolding events were wide reaching and told from the point of view of a wise survivor of this destructive time.

Some suggestions:
Overall, I'd like to see this story expanded. It feels like a draft plot for a much longer story full of drama, but I found it a little dense due to the way it focused on telling rather than showing. Although this was nicely done as the words were situated in an account told by Kyrra, I'd have liked to get more of a sense of the events unfolding in front of the reader's eyes. Also, the fact that the beautiful vampire did not have more than a hinted character, or a proper description of her beauty, left me wondering about her and I'd like some more work done on making her stand out in the story.
I was a little cofused by the word these in 'these nights' you might want to choose another word for clarity.
When you mentioned 'our territory' I wondered how many others there were, what they are like etc, so a sentence or two with more detail would help me picture the scene more clearly here.
You use the word 'quite' twice in one sentence and I feel the sentence would be stronger with it removed.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review by HollyMerry
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved the interactive element of this story as I could imagine children getting really engaged in answering the questions as Farmer Dan gets distracted by seeing other animals for sale at the market. They will learn a lot about animals from the poem, like about male cattle being called bulls. It was a colourful, fun story snd easy to picture. I would have liked a bit more at the end though about the goats to say what colours they are, what their characters are, any funny antics etc.
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