🌕 HuntersMoon's (huntersmoon) Reviews

🌕 HuntersMoon

Review Requests: OFF

3,120 Public Reviews Given

3,261 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Honest but encouraging

I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.

I'm good at...

Short Stories and better at Poetry

Favorite Genres

All

251

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#4221443

Review of A Rooster Without Hens

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Very amusing ... be sure to invite me to dinner

Re-look at line 1 - I think you meant to type "A rooster without hens"

Nicely done, Neva ...

Ken

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252

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#4220325

Review of Romancing the 4th Wall

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi prohtpiz

So glad to see you finally participating in the site. I love Flash Fiction and so am glad to see you spreading your wings here.

I think your story is a clever and creative approach to this challenge. I'm a fan of dialogue and so this is doubly entertaining for me. I'm not sure everyone will pick up on the idea of this but it's their loss

.

Well done and I'm glad they will live happily ever after ... forever

Thank you for sharing your imagination with me today ...

Ken

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253

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#4215095

Review of Permanent

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Brooke

A wonderful remembrance penned with clarity and obvious love. Some questions can never be answered but that should never keep us from asking them.

Ken

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254

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#4167134

Review of Reading a Poem

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hiya Robin

I know, I haven't been around much ... actually, not at all

but saw this on the newsfeed and it did peak my curiosity. Here's my thoughts, such as they are:

I love the thoughts within this ... even took them to heart

and let the words and meaning resonate. I think you really did this well and, while I thought this a bit melodramatic, it certainly captured the intensity of what reading good poetry should be. Great imagery (apropos for the season, I might add

) pulls the reader in and your passion cannot help but reach out and infect the reader. It certainly did me!

Quite enjoyable! Thank you for sharing.

Ken

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255

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14 days may be credited.

#4092841

Review of The Last Law

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Jim

Glad to see you're back in the game. Clever, well written, and ... as always ... a nice twist(ed) ending

Asimov would be proud of you. It did beg the question, "what about the other robots?" but I can over look that with many theories as to why just these two remain LOL

Well done and a pleasure to read. I hope this wasn't a "one-off" and we can look forward to reading more.

Ken

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256

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14 days may be credited.

#4085921

Review of Unfinished

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Rakkit

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Unfinished"

on behalf of "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"

. This review is being done in affiliation with "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done

I enjoyed this very much. I'm not a big fan of free verse (so why am I a judge?

) since most don't write it well. I can see the poetic nature of this in each line.

Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery hidden words floating in ink; very identifiable to me

.

Message/Theme:
The message of finding word and, molding them into something more is sure to resonate with any writer.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was well chosen, though a bit ambiguous. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. I thought you used it effectively.

Grammar/Wording - The opening captured me.

I saw nothing in error; a clean write is always a hallmark of a good poet.

Form/Flow - Written in vers libre or free verse, I found this flowed well. Free verse is not poetry without form or rules. It is not written as an essay and then broken into lines. The final form is not what makes it a poem; it is the interaction of vocabulary, punctuation, and line break. The tools used to do this are the line stop (established by punctuation) or enjambment (inserting a strategic line break). Enjambment must have purpose and is not to be arbitrarily employed. It should be used to pull the reader through a short line to the next, where the thought can end on a weighty word capable of making the reader pause to absorb what has just been said.

Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very good read and a terrific testament to your talent. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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257

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#4085624

Review of Nothing Has Changed

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Red

What a deceptively simple poem that captures the everyday feelings of love we have ... you've taken these thoughts and painted a complete picture. The addition of something as simple as the toothpaste cap really brought this within the emotional reach of every reader. Excellent poem.

Thank you for sharing your talent and imagination with me today.

Ken

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258

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#4085621

Review of Depreciation

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Don

What a clever and fun poem ... well, at least as long as it remains in the realm of fantasy

. This was a pleasure to read and hopefully, no cars were harmed in the creation of this. Nice tight rhymes, the couplet form stacked in neat quatrains ... a total package of poetic delight.

Thanks for sharing your talent and imagination with me today ...

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

259

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#4085315

Review of A Message Sent out to Sea

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi turtlemoon-dohi

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Message Sent out to Sea"

on behalf of "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"

. This review is being done in affiliation with "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done

I enjoyed this very much. I'm not a big fan of free verse (so why am I a judge?

) since most don't write it well. I can see the poetic nature of this in each line.

Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery of this and thought you wove interesting word pictures into this form.

Message/Theme:
This was an unashamedly romantic poem.

What would poets write about without it?

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was well chosen. The "teaser" line (or description

) offers you an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers which I thought you used effectively.

Grammar/Wording - Well chosen words paint a wonderfully romantic picture with this. I felt there was an element of conflict between the opening line and the rest of the poem. You describe this journey with the slow rhythms of sea but you "hurried scribbled" the message.

Form/Flow - Written in vers libre or free verse, I found this flowed exceptionally well. I really thought your use of a refrain line was masterful and really added that poetic element so many free verse poems lack.

Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very good read and a terrific testament to what free verse can be. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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260

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#4080083

Review of A BLAZE OF GLORY

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A BLAZE OF GLORY"

on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

. I'm so pleased you asked me to look at this. It was very moving.

First Impression/Thoughts:
Nicely done, Written less than 2 years after the Vietnam War ended, you captured the confusion and feelings of the time brilliantly with this poem.

Creativity/Impact:
I loved the imagery of this and thought you wove wonderful emotional images into your write.

Message/Theme:
This was a military themed poem, reminding readers that those who fought did so from a place of pride and in honor of our long standing defense of freedom.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was emotional and in keeping with the overall theme. I was happy to see you used it within the poem as well, reinforcing the feelings of patriotism and pride that run through out this.

Grammar/Wording - The opening line is really grabbed me and pulled me into the story line of this write. You kept that feeling focused throughout your write with well chosen words. Excellent job

Form/Flow - Written in a traditional poetry style with an abab rhyme, this really flowed well especially when read aloud. Great job.

Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and captivating and you carry the theme throughout. I particularly liked "White horses leap the groynes" showing the surging waves crashing against the breakwater. Pure magic, there, my friend.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very good read and a terrific testament to your talent. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4079970

Review of I Write In 2015

for entry "What's Your Name?"

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Carly

I was just perusing your latest post and saw "What's Your Name?"

which, I'm pretty sure, is an entry for today's Flash Fiction contest

.

I enjoyed the use of dialogue which I really think brings the story to life. This vignette about dancers was an interesting tale; my granddaughter is part of a professional ballet company and it was fun to peek into the warm-up/backstage area with you. Of course, she's only 7 so the language is slightly different

but the sentiments are true to character.

Good job. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Ken

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262

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#4079615

Review of Rain's Healing Sound

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi Susan

It's just me, Ken, and it's my pleasure to read and comment on your poem, "Rain's Healing Sound"

What a lovely write. As I read your words, I could see the ancient mysteries of the first people play out in my mind. Your use of couplets was very well done and, with one exception, used perfect rhymes which made it flow seamlessly from one verse to the next. The meter, for the most part, was consistent and helped move the action along.

I really enjoyed the images you created and felt, as they must have, the "oneness" of nature and the tribe.

Really nice work ...

Ken

PS Returning the GPs - reading this was reward enough

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263

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#4078705

Review of Bison Thirst

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi ♥Hooves♥

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Bison Thirst"

on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

. I saw you posted this as an entry to "N.A. First Peoples' Form Poetry Contest"

and thought it would be fun so see what you've been up to.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I think you've captured the spirit of the image beautifully with this plaintive tale of the rain dance. It didn't escape me that you made Bison/Buffalo central to your poem, Ms. Hooves

.

Creativity/Impact:
I thought you did an excellent job of capturing the "oneness with nature" that was integral to the native American life.

Message/Theme:
This was a cultural/nature themed poem brought to life the Indian's belief that all of life is connected. You highlighted their role as caregivers which I think was central to their lives.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title hinted at what was to come in a way that most readers would find attractive and dip into the poem for a deeper drink. (Any perceived puns are purely accidental

).

Grammar/Wording - The opening line set the stage for the poem that followed. You chose words that fit the overall theme and heightened the feeling of a spiritual journey among the first people.

Form/Flow - Written in a Traditional Poetry form, using an abcb rhyme, you followed the requirements perfectly. I did notice a few meter vagaries but nothing that distracted from the message and the reading of your melodic words.

Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is strong and carried the theme throughout. I particularly liked the closing quatrain which I think was the essence of the poem. Well done

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very good read and a terrific testament to your understanding and support of the native american culture. Thank you for sharing your journey of imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4078200

Review of School Pressures

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "School Pressures"

on behalf of Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

. The good news is that this is the final of three reviews she has saddled you with

although, for me, it's a bitter-sweet parting.

First Impression/Thoughts:
A bit of wry humor carries this serious poem into the mind of the reader. Your point is well taken and makes one wonder, "Is it worth it all?" You and I are of an age where kids could be kids and we didn't turn out so bad. It feels like we're planning our children's life from conception to grave without regard to their individuality. A great message herre.

Creativity/Impact:
I'm a believer that poetry is wonderful transport for taking what we all instinctively know and raising it into the light where it needs to be if we're going to have an intelligent discourse on it. I thought this accomplished just that.

Message/Theme:
You write of the growing over emphasis we seem to have about education for our children. I know my own granddaughter (currently in the second grade) is being presented with information years in advance of where I first came across it. The pressures to succeed, to get into the "right" schools, to achieve are enormous. As you so rightly ask, "Will it be worth it, in the end?"

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - Straight forward, unambiguous, and spot on. Anyone concerned will be attracted to this.

Grammar/Wording - Your descriptions will recall for any reader the frantic and - yes - even a small bit of elation - connected with the start of school. You bring us into those first days and then allow us to progress to drudgery as school moves on while the parents micromanage the students progress to the point where the joy of education is lost. Well done.

Form/Flow - Written in a Four-Quatrain Chain or Interlocking Rhyme (aaba, bbcb, ccdc, dded), you followed your chosen form without error. I found it a bit uneven in meter while reading but not distracting. Well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

Not the most enjoyable read but certainly an important one. Your tackle this issue with a touch of humor but, more importantly, without shrinking from the central issue. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4078093

Review of Too Little, Too Late

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Too Little, Too Late"

on behalf of Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

. This is the second of three reviews she has bequeathed you from her nefarious victory in "The Cube"

The affiliation remains with "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

just to keep Hannah happy

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
What do those other reviewers know?

The Ottava Rima is not a simple form and I thought you handled this with great aplomb. I applaud your technical altruism as much as I do your artistic approach.

Creativity/Impact:
OK, the sentiments are a bit banal but your veracity of expression is valid nonetheless.

Message/Theme:
You have dipped your pen into the ink of all poets, writing of love found and love lost.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - My thoughts are that many will argue titles can be, and often are, just as crucial to a piece whether for reeling in a reader's roaming eye, and/or for leaving them with a sense of satisfaction, a sense of completeness as the title subliminally lingers, transparent to the words as perused throughout the discourse. The title is flavored to address the content but could have used a bit more spice.

Grammar/Wording - I do appreciate that you didn't "dumb it down" but used the full lexicon of the English languish. I love the tone of this, the self loathing tone rather than simple pity. Well done.

Form/Flow - Written as an Ottava Rima, you followed the form perfectly. I thought using a refrain-like last line was both original and really made this feel like a unified piece. Great job.

Emotion/Imagery - Your overall artistry transformed this from words on a page to an action movie for me. Yes, I may have seen this plot before but the characters were new and held my attention.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

An enjoyable read. Your talent shines in this tale of lost love. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4077850

Review of Squander

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi becbec

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Squander"

on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
So, you can write in English

Thank you for the invitation to read your work. My first thought is this feels biographical, written by someone who has reached a plateau in their life and is going through the motions but doesn't see anything in the future that she hasn't seen in the past. I hope that's not the case

Creativity/Impact:
This is your vision, your words, your work; that alone makes it creative. The heavy use of alliteration is very striking and I enjoyed it. If you like writing in this style, you should check out a form called Alliterism

.

Message/Theme:
You write of stagnation, of squandering your time locked in a stalemate. There is a feeling of acceptance of the situation, of defeat.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title, within the meaning of the word, was interesting and would attract readers. I looked at the "tag" line or description to see if there was more but was a bit confused. "... life's tribual events" Did you mean trivial, as in small?

Grammar/Wording - I liked the opening line ... "squandering thoughts with stagnation" Right off, the image of someone mired and trapped sets the stage for the rest of the poem. Your use of alliteration throughout made this easy to read. A few of the words you chose really didn't fit and seemed chosen because they started with "s." "Steadyfast" seems to be a colloquialism for "steadfast" Likewise, in verse 6, "stimatized" I think was meant to be "stigmatized."

Form/Flow - You wrote this in free verse. Free verse is not poetry without form or rules. It is not written as an essay and then broken into lines. The final form is not what makes it a poem; it is the simultaneous collaboration of vocabulary, punctuation, and line break. Proper use of the tools of poetry helps to mold a piece to its final state. Free verse is a challenging form that utilizes the natural cadences of common speech to create rhythm in lieu of the strict usage of meter found in classic forms. I think you used versification well and this kept a poetic feel.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

An enjoyable, yet somewhat disturbing read. I think you did well and you communicated the theme clearly. If you're like most poets, you use your writing to clarify your own feelings. If this is the case, the I think you've done that ... and I think you now have something to move toward, not just on.

Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4076715

Review of Red With Regret

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Jeff

It's just me, Ken, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Red With Regret"

on behalf of Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH

. She has asked that three of her reviews from her nefarious victory in "The Cube"

be shared with you. Her generosity is almost as large as her

. As usual, the affiliation remains with "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

just to keep Hannah happy

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
I think this is a particularly difficult form - not from the form perspective but to weave the poem together into a cohesive whole. You did outstanding!

Creativity/Impact:
The Blitz poem, by its nature, is a labor of creativity. I really enjoyed this journey you took us on into the darkness of our minds.

Message/Theme:
This is a dark themed write that begins with a simple image and then, almost through free association, takes us on a dark, downward path.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title grabbed the reader's curiosity; it was open enough to have many meanings and invited the reader in to find out more. The title, by definition, is constructed from within the poem further complicating the overall construction.

Grammar/Wording - From cliche to thought provoking images, this staccato like poem reflects a serious thoughtfulness as each word is layered to lead us to the next.

Form/Flow - Written as a Blitz Poem, you followed the spirit of form perfectly. My only hesitation (based on my limited knowledge of the form) is that you used derivations of words, i.e. from shadow to shadowy or danger to dangerous, which I think is stretching the requirements of the form just a bit

.

Emotion/Imagery - The imagery here is dark, strong and captivating.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

I found this to be an enjoyable read. You had this listed as a poem you were particularly proud of .. and with good cause! Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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#4075715

Review of Rescued at Chrismas From The Pound.

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Alexi

My name is Ken and I'm judging the current round of "Invalid Item"

. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Rescued at Chrismas From The Pound."

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
What a sweet tale of rescues! I'm such an animal lover and a real softy when it comes to rescues. At one time, I had two horses, 3 cats, 4 dogs, two rats, and a guinea pig

. Of course, then I got married and I'm now in the self-rescue business

Creativity/Impact:
I thought this was very cleverly conceived and written. Well done. I really like the personification of the animals.

Message/Theme:
You met the image prompt challenge is a great way. Your sense of humor (gentle) and your understated advocacy for rescues make this a warm, fun read.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Grammar/Wording - Well done; in keeping with your theme; easy to read and understand. I'm not a big fan of "emoticon" poetry, preferring the words to draw the image, but it works in this piece which seems to be written toward a younger audience. Luckily, my "child within" is never far away

.

Form/Flow - Written in alternating quatrain and couplet verses with an aabb rhyme, you stayed with perfect rhymes (well, except for good/food

) which really made the poem flow well. Your meter was consistent and made for an easy read.

Emotion/Imagery - It was easy to "see" the story you told as it unfolded. Nice use of action words to keep the story line moving, along with weaving in the emotions of the pets.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable read. Your love of animals comes through clearly and I found myself smiling and in total agreement. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

269

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14 days may be credited.

#4075649

Review of A Winter Solstice Celebration

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi turtlemoon-dohi

My name is Ken and I'm judging the current round of "Invalid Item"

. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Winter Solstice Celebration"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
A gentle fantasy about the fey folk and their celebration of the solstice.

Creativity/Impact:
I thought this was very cleverly conceived and written. Well done.

Message/Theme:
You met the prompt challenge is a great way. The magical celebration of the Winter Solstice is shown through the festival of the wee folk.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your words

.

Grammar/Wording - Excellent imagery invokes all the senses; nice use of the archaic with words such as "magick" adds to the feeling.

Form/Flow - Written in free verse, this keeps the feel of traditional poetry. My only caution is to be sensitive to repetition such as " tiny cinnamon-stick flutes and crystal violins play." It tends to divert the reader from the central theme which is celebration.

Emotion/Imagery - It was easy to "see" the story you told as it unfolded. Nice use of action words to keep the story line moving.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

A very enjoyable read. Your love of fantasy comes through clearly and I found myself smiling as I accompanied you on this "magickal" journey

. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

270

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4072632

Review of The Girl with Silver Bracelets

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi Sharon

It's just me, Ken

, and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Girl with Silver Bracelets"

on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

.

First Impression/Thoughts:
First and foremost, Sharon - Congratulations for winning the December Traditional Poetry Contest with this sad but realistic poem. My own daughter was a heroine junkie for 20 years and I know the pain that you so perfectly captured in this. (She's clean and sober now

)

Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative (I hope) and clearly carries a message. I hope those that read it will take it to heart.

Message/Theme:
This is a cautionary tale of the dangers and outcomes of drug use. I thought it excellent that you used "pills" in the tale. Abuse of prescriptions has become the number one problem; too many kids think that since it's prescribed, it's safe. As you point out, they can be dead wrong.

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your sad words

.

Title - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was perfect. It seems to indicate a joyfulness that, in the end, is revealed to be a tragedy. You did incorporate the title into the poetic content as well which I thought was an excellent use.

Grammar/Wording - Your use of action words and detailed descriptions kept me moving and seeing what you were describing.

Form/Flow - Written in quatrains with an abcb rhyme, you kept a consistent meter and relied on perfect rhymes to make this flow. Very well done.

Poetic devices - I enjoyed the moments of alliteration and your use of enjambment was very effective in pulling the reader from line to line. I thought your use of assonance also made for a pleasing and flowing read.

Emotion/Imagery - Certainly, the imagery here is strong and captivating. The emotional content comes through clearly and touches the reader. Again, very well done.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:

An enjoyable poetic read although the subject was sad. Your talent comes through clearly and I found myself totally pulled into this tale. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

271

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14 days may be credited.

#4052951

Review of Rugged

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hey Ben

I'm not sure what the other reviewer was thinking but I thought this was excellent. Being an aficionado of heteronyms and homophones, I loved the playful use of language - and that you managed to find one that worked so well using the colloquialism for a hair piece (rug) just made this all the more funny.

Well done!

Ken

PS Keep your GPs for those who can't find the brilliance in this

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

272

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4043330

Review of with the wind

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hmmm. Hot air balloon - yeah, I can how this applies to me

Actually, this is a really great take on the prompt and it really does feel like we are at the "mercy of the winds that blow prompts to twist" the direction of our journey. Very well done.

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

273

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4042246

Review of Autumn Interlude

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Rhyssa -

Just got back and had to see where you were heading with this tonight. How original!

I really like that you took this from a totally unexpected direction. It's so clear now but it was an approach I'd never have thought of LOL - of course, I'm neither a mom nor a teacher and those years are long behind me anyway.

Interesting, creative, and touching. Well done.

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

274

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14 days may be credited.

#4041018

Review of My Bio

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Bill

Just a quick note. I'd do a formal review but after 75 "5-star" ratings, I really can't find anything to suggest that would help you. Me? I was a surfer primarily in Manhattan Beach but I was before your time by about 5 years or so. I was born in Bellingham and still have family in the Seattle area but joined the Army in 66 and really have never been back to Cali or Washington.

Very interesting - great photo of you and the kids

although I'm not sure who's having more fun.

Thanks for sharing ...

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

275

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4041017

Review of Another Story on the Shoreline

Review by 🌕 HuntersMoon

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Tracey

You closet romantic, you ... you're outed now!

Okay -

- so I took a similar slant on it. What is it about the mystery of a note in a bottle that seems to bring out the softer side of us? Why not "I was bored so I threw this bottle into the sea?" kind of notes?

Whatever the reason, you did well with this. I like that 90 years had passed and the truth of the words still ring true in our ears.

Ken

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .