Hi nhlanhla 
My name is Ken and I chose to review your item today as part of my review challenge at the "Invalid Item"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" . It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "wondering soul" .
I see you're new here. Let me be one of the first to say  Welcome to WDC!  I'm pleased you found us and I hope the journey you've embarked on will be fulfilling and, above all, fun. If you have questions, please feel free to drop me line anytime. I'd be happy to help. Now, on to the review -
 First Impression/Thoughts:
You've written an emotion filled poem filled with angst and the questions of youth. I typically look at the author's bio to get a better understanding of who they are but your's, unfortunately, is blank so based on you writing, I'm going to have make some assumptions. If they're wrong, I apologize in advance  but the advice I offer is for the poet - not the woman.
 Creativity/Impact:
Creativity is the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, and/or patterns and find meaningful new ideas and interpretations. Certainly, these are you feelings and therefore unique to you. As I read this, however, what I got was a lot of doubt; questions but no answers which I think you have
 Message/Theme:
The theme is one of love and its uncertainties. I found it interesting that you wrote this entirely in the third person - "she" - rather than first person, "I," as though trying to distance yourself from the emotions.
 Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I wandered through your angst-filled words  .
 Title - wondering soul - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title hid a lot of the meaning that this poem actually delivers. I'm sure some will look just to see what you're talking about. Since it is the only thing a prospective reader will see while scanning the list of items in a writers port, it serves as the advertisement of the writer's imagination. The description line can also be used to clarify what you are presenting and to build additional interest.
 Grammar/Wording - For the most part, this was easy to read; easy to understand the emotions contained. As I mentioned, I thought it felt strained because you wrote in third person and yet the emotions were seemed yours. Just my impression
 Form/Flow - I'd have to classify this as "free verse," although it really read more as prose. Prose is written or spoken language in its ordinary form, without metrical structure as opposed to the poetic form: free verse. Free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic devices such as alliteration and fragmentation, or simply the use of poetic lines. That's what I look for when reading. I felt the structure here was closer to what you'd see in non-poetry writings.
 Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
 I enjoyed reading this as I recalled my own confusion of youth (which, I'll share with you, really strained my memory LOL Yes, it was that long ago.) Your emotional content was strong and appealing. I think you should focus a bit more on structure and use it to strengthen your message delivery. I encourage you to continue to read - to see other possibilities for structures and approaches, review - to look at what works and doesn't for you as a writer and to encourage others to visit your work, and write - because that's why we're all here. Thank you for sharing your vision and talent with me today.
Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.
Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,
Ken
** Image ID #1803691 Unavailable ** |
| (4.5)
| (4.0)
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Whoops, kind of got carried away with that, didn't I 
Isn't it funny how the mind works?
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
) that touches the reader. Bravo, by the way, for "gibbous" 
. Talking earrings make sense to me although I'll admit I've never worn any ... well, there was a Halloween party - but I digress 
First Impression/Thoughts: 
Creativity/Impact:
Message/Theme:
Technique/Technical Notes:
Title - Then There Are Words - The title is the hook that will capture readers and draw them into your poem. I found your title intriguing and was immediately drawn to it.
Grammar/Wording - For the most part, this was easy to read and easy to understand the emotions you felt as the storm approached. I'm not sure that all the language was clear, however. More obscure words (such as commodious) or juxtaposed concepts (reputable paper) may make readers pause and break the flow of the read. Me? I love it 
Form/Flow - Regardless of what others say, rhyme is allowed in free verse and I enjoyed the today/astray lines 
Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
I really enjoyed reading this as I found new ideas in your words. Your emotional content was strong and appealing. I can see why this remains one of your favorites. Thank you for sharing your vision and talent with me today.
Poetic devices - I enjoyed the alliteration (Cotton candy clouds) and use of assonance within the lines which added to the fluidity of the read. 
Emotion/Imagery - Good use of imagery - I found it strong and well used. 
) let me say once more how much I enjoyed reading your creative and always entertaining writes.