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1,480 Public Reviews Given
3,415 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am honest, but kind and encouraging. I will offer ideas if something strikes me.
I'm good at...
Poetry is my first love.
Favorite Genres
relationship, romance, drama, and things which break the heart
I will not review...
I don't have the proper time to review novels, chapters, and things of that nature. Plus, they aren't my strongest suit. I'm not comfortable with critiquing items that I couldn't create, but I have a great appreciation/envy for those who can*Smile*
Public Reviews
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301
Review of Blessed Be  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.5)
ProsperousSnow,
Thank you for entering round 36 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note* Comments:
*Bullet* You have some lovely imagery throughout the poem. I like your take on nature and pictures you presented to me. Also, I like that you combined a spiritual side in this.

*Note* Suggestions:
a tiny pit becomes a tree
in which love’s phoenix builds its nest.
*Idea* "in which" seems to through me off a bit here. Think about something like this:
a tiny pit becomes a tree,
then love's phoenix builds its nest.

Please keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on,
~ Lexi
302
302
Review of Brain Waves  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.5)
Delamar,
Thank you for entering round 36 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note* Comments:
*Bullet* I think your ending sums this piece up rather nicely. Also, your descriptions allowed me to gain a mental picture.

*Note* Suggestions:
a very natural taste on the air,
*Bullet* Instead of "on the air" which sounds like it would be found on the radio or television, consider this:
*Bullet* a very natural taste in the air

*Idea* You may want to list this under the genres of emotional and drama as well. It'll help target more readers.

Please keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on!
~ Lexi
303
303
Review of Cold October  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.5)
Behind Blue Eyes,
Welcome to Writing.Com! Hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note1* Comments:
*Thumbsup* It's fairly a common thing to feel like you'll never find love again when a relationship fails. You address that fear through this poem.

*Thumbsup* Heartbreaks can make people afraid to move on into new relationships. I think you did a nice job is showing that sometimes we can forget the past with the help of someone else.

*Note1* Suggestions:
I thought I could never find another,
But I prove myself wrong.
*Note* I think a few changes in these lines would help improve the flow:
*Idea*I thought I would never find another,
But I proved myself wrong.

I’d give anything,
To have such a privilege.
And that being as,
Calling him my own.
*Note*Something about this stanza is throwing me off a bit. I think the last two lines don't connect as well as they could.
*Idea* How about something like this:
I’d give anything,
To have the privilege
of holding you in my arms
and calling you my own.

Write on!
~ Lexi
304
304
Review of Taking the Risk  
Review by Lexi
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Megan,
Welcome to Writing.Com*Smile* I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

Comments:
*Thumbsup* I think that you raise some important issues in this story. In my opinion, the teen years are probably the most challenging to get through emotionally. You show the conflicts and various feelings that teens have to overcome.

*Thumbsup* I like the advice you give in the first paragraph. It really helps clarify situations when we put ourselves in other peoples' places. When we do that it is sometimes easier to treat others the way we would want to be treated.

Suggestions:
*Note* Think about double-spacing or indenting in between each new paragraph. I think it improves the format.

How does someone take life into their own hands and make everythinge else just disapear?
*Bullet* everything
*Bullet* disappear
Consider omitting the word "just" in this question. Its meaning stays the same and it reads smoother.

Take fear away from a body by putting yourself in that position. For the girl, she gave her life over to speed.
*Note* I am not sure what you mean by the second part of this line. Who is the girl you are referring to? Think about introducing her in this story before this part so it seems less confusing. Also, I would make a small change in the first sentence:
*Idea* Picturing yourself in their situation will help lessen your fears.

The girl needed sustenence
*Bullet* sustenance

The girl found her life, took away her pain, her anger her life's problems behind the wheel.
*Note* This sentence seems rather wordy, and I found myself lose the meaning. The word "her" appears in there four times. Consider changing it up a bit. I think something like this sticks to your message but comes across clearer:
*Idea* She found her life, washed away the pain by leaving her anger and problems behind the wheel.

Faster, faster, running away from life's problems. She goes faster, for they are catching up. Her fate is catching up with her and she doesn't know how to stop it.
*Note* The first line is a fragment, but you have it as a sentence. I would consider omitting that line since the sentences to follow pretty much say the same thing. Also, instead of using "catching up" so closely together think about changing it up just a bit:
*Idea* She runs faster, hoping to escape life's problems. Her fate is catching up with her and she doesn't know how to stop it.

I think you have a good start here, but with a little more polishing it'll shine more. I'd be happy to take another look if you decide to make any changes.
Keep writing!
~ Lexi
305
305
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fyn,

Lisa Dawn - sunny days sent me your way to check this out. I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note5*Comments:
*Thumbsup* Kudos to you for taking on the difficult challenge of the sestina! It's hard to master not sounding repetitive with having to use the same words in different areas within each stanza.

*Thumbsup* I think your use of alliteration and inner-rhyme helped add some flavor and livened up the pace a bit. Also, since it affected the flow the repeated words didn't seem as noticeable as they could have been without it.

*Thumbsup* The story told through this sestina is inspiring. I like the contrasts shown between the world of your imagination and what was really happening. Your ending ties this piece together quite nicely.


*Note5* Suggestions:
Off to distant lands where harems sifted desert sands
*Bullet* My ears love the sound of inner-rhyme here! I do have one tiny suggestion for this line though:
*Idea*Off to distant lands where harems sifted across desert sands
*Up* Originally, I would have suggested "sifted through" there, but "through" appears in the following line. I keep associating this line with pirates and gold. Perhaps, if you're willing to change that up then here's another suggestion for those lines:
*Idea*Off to distant lands where harems sifted through desert sands. I would write
Vagabond tales of gypsy maidens and pirates digging, searching for golden dust

Great poem and Write on!
~ Lexi
306
306
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.0)
CrazyGal380,
Welcome to Writing.Com! Hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note4* Comments:
*Thumbsup* Nice title! The alliteration and meaning caught my attention right away.

*Thumbsup* I think that there are plenty of us that put on smiles when we are crying on the inside. It's sort of like we feel like we have to represent strength instead of weakness.

*Note4* Suggestions:
*Idea* Consider placing an intro and content rating on your item so it's viewable for all ages. This could easily be rated E. Also, you may want to list this under a few genres to help target your readers (teen, emotional, drama).

Sacraficial smiles
*Bullet* Sacrificial Smiles

its like a sacrefice
*Bullet* it's like a sacrifice
*Up* There are a few places you leave out the apostrophe when you mean "it is". Consider capitalizing the words "I" and "I'm" throughout the poem. It makes the poem appear better in presentantion.

Because when i smile
its telling everyone i'm happy
when saddly
i' m not
*Bullet* sadly
*Up* Consider changing this stanza up a bit. It's not making as much sense as it could. You could use this stanza to help support the title:
*Idea* Because when I smile
people think I'm happy,
when sadly I only wear
my smiles for show

whats there to smile about?
when your worlds falling apart
*Bullet* What's there to smile about
when your world's falling apart?
*Up* Because in this stanza you mean "what is there" and "your world is."

I'd be happy to take another look if you decide to make any changes.

Write on!
~ Lexi
307
307
Review of Left  
Review by Lexi
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Folcun Byercrest,
Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note3* Comments:
*Thumbsup* I think you express some important issues in this poem. Being victorious in numbers is certainly different than being victorious in having support from others. This reminds of the saying "don't count your eggs before they hatch". Sometimes, people don't see things in the full spectrum.

*Note3* Suggestions:
When we won the war
The death did run from shore to shore
Only we could fight this long
Now we’re left
And now they're gone
*Up* I know what you are saying in this stanza. However, I think a few minor adjustments in wording really makes a big difference:
*Idea* When we won the war
death ran from shore to shore
Nobody else could fight this long;
Now we’re left
And now they're gone.

We won We won so now they'regone
But whose to help us now they're gone
We were stupid
And now alone
*Up* In the first line, your words are running into one another. Also, something seems awkward in this stanza. I know that your opening line is meant to represent victory, but it comes off like a chant and doesn't match the tone of the poem. Think about making a few small changes:
*Idea*When we won, they were gone;
There's no one here to help us.
Our decisions weren't wise
And now we stand to fight alone.

I'd be happy to take another look if you decide to make any changes.
Write on!
~ Lexi
308
308
Review of The Black Beach  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Poetic Girl,
Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note4* Comments:
*Thumbsup* You make some valid points in this poem. Pollution is damaging and you show that through this poem. It is up to us to help make a change.

*Thumbsup* Your third stanza has a bit of humor. It adds nicely to the poem and I didn't expect it. Good job!

*Note4* Suggestions:
The beach is nice
Full of miscellneous things
From surfers to swimmers to fish and lots more
The beach is called Long Beach and it will soon go out
*Bullet* miscellaneous
*Up* I know what you are saying here, but you can say it in a way that seems less wordy. Also, think about using a more powerful adjective in the first line:
*Idea* The beach is glorious
and full of miscellaneous things,
surfers, swimmers, fish, and more,
but Long Beach will soon disappear.

Drilling for oil in the ocean
You've killed the ocean
*Idea* Instead of using ocean twice in a row. How about something like:
Drilling for oil in the ocean
has caused the seas to die

*Bullet* The last two stanzas rhyme and the first two are written in free verse. It affects the pace of the poem. In my opinion, I think that it sounds better with the rhymes. You may consider doing that in the first two stanzas as well.

I'd be happy to take another look if you decide to make any changes.
Write on!
~ Lexi
309
309
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Flyin on Angel,
Welcome to Writing.Com. Hope you don't mind my comments.

*Thumbsup* This is a sweet and simple love poem. You show that when it comes to love anything is possible to overcome.

*Note* The only suggestions I have for you is to consider capitalizing the word "I'm" and using the word until instead of "till" in your poem.

Write on!
~ Lexi
310
310
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Leo,
Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note4* Comments:
*Thumbsup* I decided to look at the photograph after I read your poem. I wanted to focus on the images your words would give me, instead of seeing an actual picture of it first. The image I came up with was very close to the one that inspired this. You did very well to match that*Wink*

*Thumbsup* Although the poem has a mystery to be solved, I found it to be quite enjoyable as a children's poem too. Your title drew me in and your poem kept my attention until the end.

*Note4* Suggestions:
He suit was expensive
*Bullet* His suit was expensive

He looks really bewildered
*Up* This whole stanza is in past tense, so it seemed a bit awkward to have "looks" there:
*Idea* He looked really bewildered

Maybe I should just keep myself to myself
*Up* I know what you mean here, but how about saying it a bot differently. Reading the words "myself to myself" made me stumble:
*Idea* Maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself
*Idea* Maybe I should just keep everything to myself

*Bullet* I noticed that you have a lot of commas throughout the poem. You might want to give that a second look. A few of them aren't really needed, and they are affecting the pace slightly.

*Idea* Consider placing the links to the photograph at the end of your poem instead of before it.

This really is a cute poem!
Write on,
~ Lexi
311
311
Review of our moment  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi again,
I decided to read another poem*Smile*

*Thumbsup* Your adoration is evident throughout the poem. I think that you express yourself nicely in some areas. Also, I think it's great that you played with imagery and description. It allowed me to envision a few of the scenes.

*Note5* There were a few things that I noticed, so I wanted to offer you some suggestions. Hope that's okay:

speachless i was as my heart played an unrehearsed beat
*Up* Consider changing this line up a bit. I think it helps clarify what you mean:
*Idea* I was speechless as my heart played unrehearsed beats

her angelic nature so appearant
*Bullet* apparent

to my stagnent soul
*Bullet* stagnant

to a beatten man she was life she was the day that was an answer to a million cries a million prayers
*Bullet* beaten
*Up* In areas such as this, you may consider using punctuation or at least line breaks. Also, you might cut back on a few of the filler words. This way your thoughts won't run into one another and readers will easily understand:
*Idea*to a beaten man, she was life; she was the day that answered a million cries, a million prayers.

was as foregin as a new
*Bullet* foreign

to teast the mind as i dreamt
*Bullet* test the mind as I dreamed

on and on seconds past
*Bullet* passed
*Up* "past" represents a moments and time.

wrapped in volumous cloth
*Bullet* voluminous

worth while endevour to forfill
*Bullet* worthwhile endeavor to fulfill

*Idea* Consider capitalizing the word "I" and placing apostrophes in words where the should be. Your lines are rather long, if you use more line breaks then your poem's format may appear more appealing to the readers, especially since you decided to not use any punctuation. Some of the lines were confusing because of that.

It's a sweet and romantic thought here. I just think a little polishing will make it shine more.
Write on!
~ Lexi
312
312
Review of rich lies  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hey there, Unpracticed! Welcome to Writing.Com. I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note2* Comments:
*Thumbsup* Nice job is showing the misconceived notions plenty of people have about greed, money, and the need for material things. Sometimes, the negative aspects don't catch as much attention as they should. Also, I think you make a good point by showing that money can't buy what's most important.

*Note2*Suggestions:
*Bullet* You may want to list this under a few genres to help target your readers (drama, emotional).

sight byond the sounds
*Bullet* beyond

sees past the minutes of mistaken reception
*Up* I know what you're trying to say here, but I really think this works better:
*Idea* perception

let travasties unfold
*Bullet*travesties

you ve becometo extinguish
*Bullet*you've become to

lies the knoched belt held tightly
Do you mean:
*Bullet* knotted

live for precious illousions
*Bullet* illusions

he will bath in accomplished nothing as his vision blurs and darkness forevers
*Up* This line confuses me. I am not sure what message you're trying to convey. You may consider using a line break here as well. This line is pretty long. Perhaps, try something like:
*Idea* he will bathe and accomplish nothing,
living with blurred visions, confined by darkness

Keep Writing!
~ Lexi
313
313
Review by Lexi
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Smee,
Welcome to Writing.Com. I decided to drop by your portfolio, so I hope you don't mind my comments.

*Note2* Comments:
*Thumbsup* I think you do a good job in showing the emotions of a love stricken fan. It was easy to sense Bonnie's anxiousness and nervousness. It reminded me of what it was like when I was younger; I used to have tons of posters hanging on my bedroom walls.

*Thumbsup* There is still an obvious chemistry between Bonnie and Winsor, even though Winsor can't be more than a friend to her. I think he let her down in a way that made it easy for her to not have any hard feelings.

*Note2* Suggestions:
*Note*Chapter 1:
Ready to make some acquaintences
*Bullet* acquaintances

Half an hour later, all guests having been admitted, the actors and actresses were making the rounds and mingling with their company, when a petite woman with brown hair walked toward Winsor.
*Up* Something is throwing me off here. I think a few adjustments would clarify this sentence. How about:
*Bullet*A half an hour later the guests were admitted. The actors and actresses were making rounds, mingling with their company when a petite woman with brown hair walked toward Winsor.

I love my work, and like getting feedback, positive and negative, from the fans.
*Up* You have a lot of commas going on in this sentence and not all of them are needed. Also, think about a few minor word changes:
*Bullet*I love my work and getting feedback, positive or negative from the fans.

Harmon quieried
*Bullet*inquired

*Note*Chapter 2:
Taking her breath in sharply
*Up* Something about that phrase just doesn't seem to settle right. How about:
*Bullet* Inhaled sharply,

Bonnie's heart racing and mind thinking oh-so-naughty thoughts, she sat for a moment.
*Up* There seems to be something missing from this:
*Bullet*Bonnie's was heart racing and her mind was thinking naughty thoughts. She sat for a moment.

*Note*Chapter 4:
have had the priveledge to experience
*Bullet* privilege

I'm very greatful for my fans.
*Bullet* grateful

*Idea* There's a few places in your story where you use * to represent quotation marks. Consider just using quotation marks instead. I found it a bit distracting.

*Idea* Consider double spacing or indenting each new paragraph. It helps the readers not lose their place.

Keep writing!
~ Lexi
314
314
Review of Heaven Within Us  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Isan Voncarl,
I hope you don't mind my comments and suggestions.
*Note3*Comments:
*Thumbsup* I think you show how much it meant to you for your love to be there and how you didn't allow him or her to become your crutch. It's nice to have someone to depend on, but it shouldn't be because there's no other choice. Your poem shows genuine appreciation. Good work!

*Note3* Suggestions:
*Bullet* I know that you have chosen to not use punctuation in your poem, but in lines such as these I would consider using some. It helps clarify the thoughts and not have them run into one another:
I remember the sugarcane do you
*Idea* I remember the sugarcane, do you

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
~ Lexi
315
315
Review of Ever Faithful  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Mysterious Random,

*Thumbsup* I think your poem shows two people torn apart because of separation. You do a nice job in showing the desperation each person has before they meet again, as well as the anticipation of having to wait. Truly romantic thoughts.

*Idea* You may want to place this under the relationship genre as well.
Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
~ Lexi
316
316
Review by Lexi
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Vicki,
*Thumbsup* Your title intrigued me! I think this line "I stick to his nakedness like sunshine" says it all. The adoration and love you show in this poem is moving. Since life can get chaotic I think it's important to treasure the little things the most. Very nice tribute to your loved one.

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck!
~ Lexi
317
317
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sherri,
I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Thumbsup* Your poem carries an inspirational message. I think that you define what love and companionship mean to you clearly.

*Note1* Suggestions:
When you’re in need a confidante, I am near.
*Bullet* Consider a small change in this line. I think it helps steady the pace of the line:
*Idea* When you’re in need of a confidante, I am near.
*Idea*When you need a confidante, I am near.

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
~ Lexi
318
318
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Boom,

*Thumbsup* I like how you admit to being skeptical about adding to the family but also show signs of growing and welcoming a child. I think that many married people will be able to relate to the emotions you show in your poem.

*Thumbsup* I love the picture of you and Shirley! I bet she smiled when she read this tribute.


*Note3* I know this is a dedication to your wife, so I'm a little reluctant to leave suggestions. I really hope you don't mind them.

*Idea* In your first and last stanzas you say, "A change of direction is on the cards". How about changing "on" to in.

Never whinging, never whining,
*Bullet* I'm not certain what you mean by "whinging".
*Idea* Never wincing, never whining

From all of whom we have learnt
*Bullet*"Whom" is throwing me off a bit. Perhaps, try something like:
*Idea* From everyone we have learned

It's a nice change of direction, this,
Of which we have had many.
*Bullet* This confused me a bit because you have "this of which". You can have the same meaning for this line without the three words:
*Idea* It's a nice change of direction,
even though we've had many.

And I am selfish no more.
*Bullet* Think about changing this line just a bit:
*Idea* And I am not selfish anymore.

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
~ Lexi
319
319
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Tindomerel,
I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note1* Comments:
*Thumbsup* This reminds me of a first meeting, while everything is still innocent. The things we first notice are things that can become endearing. I like that your poem focuses on appreciating someone's idiosyncrasies and flaws. You can find beauty in imperfections.


*Note1* Suggestions:
He saw her large nose, and her big white teeth,
She saw his tiny eyes and his big, big feet.
He saw her plump figure, and her not so lovely hair,
She saw his dirty nails, and his complexion, not so fair.
He saw her lack of make-up, and her clothing like balloons,
She saw his love of chap sticks, and his worn out shoes.

*Idea* Your second and third stanzas are considerably longer in line length than your first and last. Consider using some more line breaks. Also, you have a lot of commas going on here. You may want to to try and combine things by using semi-colons and reducing some of your commas:
He saw her large nose
and her big white teeth;
she saw his tiny eyes
and his big, big feet.
He saw her plump figure
and her not so lovely hair;
she saw his dirty nails
and his complexion, not so fair.
He saw her lack of make-up
and her clothing like balloons;
she saw his love of chapsticks
and his worn out shoes.

*Up* If you decide to do something like this, I would adjust the 3rd stanza as well.

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
~ Lexi
320
320
Review of Dancing  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Komal,
I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note4* Comments:
*Thumbsup* Being in love or captivated by someone can feel like you're floating or like you're dancing. You did a good job in showing that through your words.

*Note4* Suggestions:
*Down* Semi-colons are used to separate two complete and related sentences. Think about changing your semi-colons to commas here, or just omitting punctuation all together there:
Outside; it was raining ever so lightly,
Inside; the burning fire made everyone comfortably warm

it felt like snow flakes falling in your hands
*Bullet* snowflakes

Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck!
~ Lexi
321
321
Review of Loving A Friend  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Flip,

I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.
*Note3* Comments:
*Thumbsup* I thought the alliteration you used helped the pace of the poem. You do a nice job in showing longing and love. It's not easy being around someone you desire when you don't really have them. It's even harder to watch them interact with others while wishing it was you.

*Note3* Suggestions:
I fully fear the feel of her lace lips,
And yet, I yearn. A fact I have to hide.
Each time I see her my haunted heart rips
Because I can not have her by my side.
*Bullet* cannot
*Idea* Also, think about changing up the punctuation. There are parts that you have as sentences that are fragments. How about:
I fully fear the feel her lace lips
And yet, I yearn; it's a fact I have to hide.
Each time I see her, my haunted heart rips
Because I cannot have her by my side.

These times that we are close mean misery.
*Up* Consider changing this line up just a bit. The beginning of the line made me stumble:
*Idea* The times we are close mean misery


Thank you for entering the 5th annual "Invalid Item"  and good luck.
Write on!
~ Lexi
322
322
Review of Hidden Mementos  
Review by Lexi
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Scarlett,
I hope you don't mind my comments and suggestions.

*Note3* Comments:
*Thumbsup* This is a neat idea! I like how you use colored boxes to represent memories from the past and things to come in the future. I felt like I was getting to peek in on someone else's past!

*Note3* Suggestions:
Camouflaging their contents
Hidden moments from the past
Mixed-emotion memories
Concealed in darkness, under lids
*Up* consider one minor change in the first line. I think if you switch a few words around it affects the pace of the poem. The line seem to roll right into the next one:
Their contents camouflaging
Hidden moments from the past
Mixed-emotion memories
Concealed in darkness, under lids

Thank you for entering round 35 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. Please keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on!
~ Lexi
323
323
Review of Victory Rose  
Review by Lexi
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Greg,
I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note2* Comments:
*Thumbsup* This is quite the inspirational poem. I thought it was great to show that not all hope is lost in the end, even after all the turmoil.

*Note2* Suggestions:
A nation’s pride – it's winning shield
*Bullet* its winning shield
*Up* because you don't mean "it is winning shield"

Thank you for entering round 35 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. Please keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on!
~ Lexi
324
324
Review of Heaven Forsaken  
Review by Lexi
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I hope you don't mind my comments.

*Note4* Comments:
*Thumbsup* Wow, very nice! There's a fragile sense to your words that tugged my heart strings. I really like the alliteration you used; the words drifting right off my tongue in the way of a song. Beautiful meaning on memories and reflection.


Thank you for entering round 35 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. Keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on!
~ Lexi
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Review of AMONG FRIENDS  
Review by Lexi
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sherri,
I hope you don't mind my comments or suggestions.

*Note1* Comments:
*Thumbsup*Sometimes friendship gets taken for granted. Your poem shows appreciation for the bonds formed between friends.

*Note1* Suggestion:
It’s give and take that strengthen the pact,
*Up*I think this line works best if you make it plural:
*Bullet*strengthens the pact,


Thank you for entering round 35 of "Invalid Item"  and good luck. Please keep your eyes open for the next round.
Write on!
~ Lexi
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