WOW! and double WOW! Good job. I want to read more. YOu heldmy attention from begining to end and left a cliff hanger. ARe yo going to write more? I certainly hope so. A few grammer erros, but all in all it was perfect.
Thank you for the four articles on Google. I too like to use it. If you are not a teacher, you should be.
I did not think any of your articles were to long. You write in a very pleasant way. Keep it up. I will buy a book of yours and read it. I look forward to it.
Actually, this is a good start of a story. Im really like it. I would like to read more on this story.
A few things I would change - Last p[aragraph - Put Many hours later in front of the first sentence or delete it. -
You need some commas in your paragraphs.
All in all, this is good writing and, as i said, I really like it.
I hav enot read your first writing, so I cannot comment on that. However, I strongly agree with this writing. Children, win or lose, are all special. We need to tach them, you pick yourself up, shake your self off and start all over again. (I think that is part of a song, but is so true) Great article. Good research, especially since you do not have children. If you had not said so, we would have thought you did.
First, I have to say, you never give up, even when the feeling of loneliness overcomes you. You fight your way out of it. I know, Ihave beent here many times.
Your article is fantastic. It happens to all of us and your description is on the mark. I would venture to say, maybe you need to embelesh on this. Ex[and it. There is so much that can be said.
This is a beautiful poem. I can feel the emotion as you write it. She must have been a very special and close cousin. I have had one or two just like that. They too have passed and I miss them very much.
Ther ei sonly two comments I have. SEcond stanza you say never seized, when it should be ceased, to amaze me. Third stanza, life isn't very long, would sound better. Your writing is wonderful. Keep it up and keep learning.
OH so cute! Well written. You do need to use commas and various punctuation though. It will read better.
Example: Last line - To fall fast asleep, to dream of something so juicy that he might get to eat, the next coming of night.
Keep up your very good writing. Look forward to seeing more of it.
Great dream! And a great begining of the story. Read this out loud so you can pick up some of your errors. Example: Pa says it looks greatr though, because it makes out house look even better. Should be OUR, Lord I hope so. LOL! OK, going on to Chapter 2
Keep up those dreams, oops,, I mean keep up your writing of those dreams. This is good.
Whoa, great lines! Haven't we all been there before? Two sentences and you have done well my friend. I would not change anything. Now, add to this and I want to read it.
I like your poem. You started out rhyming and then went without. That was a little confusing. However, I find that sometimes I do the same. It is a very interesting subject that you chose to write about. I really liked tha Keep up your writing as it has a lot of potential.
OK, you have a good story line going here, but it is confusing. What blue ball and how is it she has it now? How did it start ot roll and where was it going? Did he leave her or did he die?
Do you see what I mean? It is difficult to follow and yet some of it rings true. I think you should rework it. Explane more so the reader can understand what is going on. I would love to read it again when you make cheges.
Really cute! And, so true. You have a great begining, middle and end. I stumble a bit on the "Some grow you believing it will bring luck" but all in all well put together. Good job.
I think I am confused......Just kidding. I like the way you "show" and not "tell" it all. If this was assignment, it was a tough one and you pulled it off. Good thoughts put on paper.
Lynda with a Y
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