Overall Impression: An interesting and unique concept!
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: Definitely not complete, maybe written for a contest with a word limit? The story line is intriguing but it needs some flushing out. What are the consequences of not having the library books checked out? It seems the little girl is not punished for this, she still gets to read the books. Where is this magical town? Isn't the Dragon Lady magical, she does breath fire (though the fire does not seem to actually hurt anyone)? How does the little girl get away from the gigantic monster guards? And, last but not least, why would this cause her to stop reading?
A bit of flushing out and I think that this could be a very entertaining read!
Overall Impression: An interesting beginning to, what promises to be, a very entertaining story!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only a couple of spelling/grammar errors for you to consider:
1. In this section - sore thumb in the down here - you may want to eliminate "in the".
2. In this section - and melt the seat - you may want to insert "into" before "the".
Readability: A well-written and entertaining read! I can't wait to read the next installment!
Overall Impression: A wonderful tale of days gone by.
Spelling/Grammar: I found only one spelling/grammar error for you to consider:
1. In this section - of of the latest millinery fashions - one to many "of"s.
Readability: A well-written and entertaining read with great imagery!
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: A fun and entertaining read! Though I did have some difficulty understanding the 3rd section - in the beginning I got the impression the evil spirit was leaving, but, obviously, it did not - probably just my perception!
Overall Impression: A very captivating little story!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only one spelling/grammar error for you to consider:
1. In this section - bored out of my mine - I think you meant "mind" instead of "mine".
Readability: A fairly well-written romance type tale with some introspection into the human psyche! Some sections could use a bit more "filling" out, like extended descriptions or dialogue.
Overall Impression: A very interesting little story!
Spelling/Grammar: I found no spelling/grammar errors to report and no additions or deletions to ponder! Awesome!
Readability: A bit difficult to read but well worth it! There were a few parts that were difficult to follow, though I found the writing style to be very intriguing. I think some more writing experience under the belt will vastly improve the flow and, hopefully, bring out the style even more!
Spelling/Grammar: I found only one spelling/grammar error for you to consider:
1. In this section - Do I want leave - you may want to add "to" after want.
Readability: A well-written and entertaining read! Just goes to show, the mind is a very fragile thing!
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