*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/manga_kate/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7
Review Requests: OFF
1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,301 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Conversational - I don't have a formal template. Comment to my perception of the work, both substance and technique; highlights & misses. My reviews are public by default, but I will gladly make private upon request.
I'm good at...
Poetry - I read aloud; respond to both art and craft; Short Story - I listen for the voice(s) and respond with how I perceive both the creative voice and technique; and effective use of writer's tools; Articles/Essays - I'll let you know how you keep it real and hold my interest. Comment to substance & technique, fact-checking, depth of research, logical flow.
Favorite Genres
I love to read ^_^
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Articles / Essays
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 4 5 6 -7- 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
151
151
Review of Poetic Insanity  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for offering this venue for free form poetic expression! ~ Okay, I played.

As a forum, the opening tag is intriguing and invites the casual observer to enter. An ending to a contest followed by an invitation to jump in and write entices, along with the creative banner and signature*Smile* Some might hesitate when the end of the contest is announced without another one being posted? Perhaps some notation that there is or isn't a contest ongoing?

The rules for posting clear and easy to follow and the working link to a more streamlined link offers an option to read the full 'story poem' upon which to build; although I chose to read the individual posts by each writer, chained in date order, before jumping in with mine ^_^

Thanks again for the fun ~ I hope to see this continue for a long time and evolve into something even more delightfully mad.

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
152
152
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for offering this delightful challenge to the poetic muse! Many fantasy stories were likely inspired in some way by Star Trek; but to incite the Poetic Muse to "...boldly go where..." *Star* Splendid Idea! *Star*

As a forum, the heading and tag are clear and inviting; the 'rules' and time deadlines, posting requirements, all easy to find. Working links ot past contest winners and a forum for Star Trek fans provide further detail as to what the host expects or would like to see*Smile*

I see no errors or omissions and hope to see the challenge continue!

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
153
153
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for offering this intriguing look at punctuation. Of interest is Thurber's non-use; now I'm on my way to read some Thurber. The in-out makes one think not only of commas, but other punctuation that is either overused or used incorrectly. Like the commas that are interspersed in text wherever the reader may have paused to take a sip of coffee, perhaps*Rolleyes*

As an activity, the opening and tag catch the eye and invite the reader to open and look; the quote from Thurber and the disclaimer that most people would put themselves in the middle each give pause for thought. The reader is required ot think a bit to honestly respond with an answer that is 'most correct' for him/her, if they are willing to admit*Wink*

Thanks for this entertaining diversion*Smile*

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
154
154
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Thank you for offering this intriguing challenge! This is 'flash fiction' in the extreme, challenging the writer to tell a fully plotted story in so few words ~ every word must count and move the story forward*Star*

As a forum, opening with a tribute to another writer, giving credit for the idea, is altruistic and makes me want to read further. The forum itself is not embellished but clear, stating the facts and rules, which are clear and succinct, in keeping with the brevity of the stories sought.*Smile*

The guidelines, example included (i.e., good-bye = 2 words)*Star* are clearly defined, including clear posting requirements (working link included) and editing parameters, judging timetable. Generous prizes and qualifiers for number of entries as well*Smile*

Hope to see this continue for a long time to come ~ here's a token gp contribution toward the prize fund.

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
155
155
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


What a creative 'take' on the prompt ~ bringing the young king full circle and, perhaps, the message, that by his failure to deal with all segments of his kingdom, lost not only his kingdom, but his own physical stature (literally as well as figuratively)*Star*

The conversational transitions are natural and easy to follow*Star*

As a story, the plot also is easy to follow, interesting, with little telling over showing. The opening is a bit omniscient, i.e., 'how were tolerance, honesty, and patience' instilled? then how did they wane?

Also, near the end, the Angel's comment, I think "...though smaller in stature..." might be more visually accurate? Also, the summation, consider the defining statement, which reads as if he played in the tree as a child, where earlier I think he played about the tree?; and either a semicolon or dash to separate the final statement "where once I was King."

Thank you once again for offering this vivid and provocative vision of what could perhaps happen to a life not lived in the moment, opportunities not taken*Star*

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
156
156
Review of SUN  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I can relate! as I watch the sun rise through the trees ~ your poem is nearly an incantation*Heart* The detailed personification both physical "With your warm golden hands" and emotional "Inspiring me..." *Star*

Reading aloud, as a free form poem, I do not seek rhyme, but a cohesive theme, which I find throughout*Star*

There is intermittent rhythm and I sense some assonance ('sight' with 'light') which I also can sense in the family references, consider perhaps "...a father," to balance with the other family members.

The concluding message is so natural, yet profound, and so beautifully related here*Heart*

Thank you for sharing this profound and evocative message; the images remain with me as I prepare for sleep, and the dawn to come*Heart*

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
157
157
Review of Peephole  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


What a beautiful tribute to friendship*Heart* Whatever life may try to set as barriers, the bond of true friendship will not permit the link to close*Star*

Reading aloud, the rhyming of second and fourth lines of each stanza adds a lyrical quality to some of the rhythm; and each stanza is vivid, leading naturally to the next image*Star*

The conclusion, I would suggest you try the sound of simply "together we are strong." for a balanced rhythm with the prior line???

Thank you for offering this powerful tribute to true friendship ~ an image of the peephole I recall after I have finished reading.*Thumbsup*
Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
158
158
Review of White Houses  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


What a beautiful, poignant story of renewed hope and life*Heart* I can envision the dancing slippers, received in such austere surroundings, as coming from the father absent at war, yet knowing what his daughter's heart desires*Heart*
One small comment here, her room would more likely be "austere" than "vacant" with the furniture specified???

The transition to the present, with the story of the young man under the "blooming oak tree" is set with vivid imagery that is near poetic ~ "Sunshine, held fugitive by the clouds' white heavenly cellars"*Heart* ~ and comparing the sunset with the departure of the young woman a good transition to the next scene, where the reason for her departure is made clear for this reader*Star* There is a lot of scenic description perhaps include a reference to music or sound to lead to the next transition forward??

The next transition to the man with the harmonica appears to be a different person, but I think it not; just a bit of discord that perhaps a reference to the prior scene with the man under the oak tree would solve???

The next image of Spring coming to an end, compelling the next season to begin, blends well for me with their walk and entering her house. The conversation between the two is natural and believable, and I am brought full circle to her once again being able, despite the intervening years, to dance, and dance*Heart*

Thank you for offering this beautiful story of hope, and life, and the possibility of living despite whatever... *Heart*

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
159
159
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This narrative in first person offers action, vivid description, and personal insights that bring the story to life, as if the reader were there speaking with the writer*Star*

The linear format from the accident to the end result and conclusion fits and is easy to follow, maintain the voice.

In the opening, consider using something like "...not my favorite event.." in place of 'destination' perhaps?? and the paragraph referencing the motel, specify perhaps "...to the motel where my friends had rented a room." ??? The conclusion is fitting to the style of the narrative, the message one to hold onto ~ despite what had occurred to one who truly lives life ~ while now taking care in Haney County*Thumbsup*

Thank you for offering this story of embracing life, and Living^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
160
160
Review of The Snowfall  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I like this story of magic and miracles and hope*Star* Thomas, snowbound, catches a ride home with a trucker who is perhaps more than just an altruistic road jockey*Star*

The scene is vivid; I can see Thomas shivering, well told in third person. I would suggest however avoiding the omniscient statements, i.e., "Little did he know..." instead perhaps he could wonder "what if" or "could it be" ???

In the third paragraph, use of "Sure" twice; perhaps use "really" or "so glad to see you." ??

Thomas's introduction, "Everything was figured." ?? is what you meant to say; and also suggest personalizing the "stranger who" (in place of 'that'). Also, the paragraph beginning "The snowstorm wasn't letting up ... "You could barely see a foot in front of your nose." or something like that, instead of "you" a second time.

The ending paragraph, consider not using "Buzz" so frequently; either combine a sentence or two or refer to him as the driver in one of the occurrences.

Also, the end, where Thomas watches the rig disappear, consider holding Thomas's voice fast, with something like "He turned and the Rig was gone. How did it disappear so quickly? Could it have been one of God's angels watching over him?"

Thank you for offering this poignant story of hope and faith; whatever one's personal beliefs, it sings of a miracle and magic!

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
161
161
Review of Lord of the Dream  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful love poem; a spirit embraces the ephemeral light of a spiritual love, then walks away from it, only to be sought after and return once again. A dance of eternal love. I envision a God or perhaps a Dragon seeking out this soul*Heart*

The opening command in each stanza, calling the spirit to dance, as the spirit traverses her mortal path, is described in vivid detail; and the rhyming adds a lyrical quality to each stanza. The conclusion brings the story full circle for me, emphasizing both the fleeting quality of joy and it's ultimate return for those who are ready to embrace it, but for awhile.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful 'dance.' ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
162
162
Review of Less than human  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


WoW! This is so intense and, in truth, the actions describe some people I know who live in a virtual world, coming out only to enter their jobs as IT techs or programmers*Star*

Reading aloud, I see one who desires to live in the outer world, but the seed of interaction with other mortals does not compare to the virtual worlds he/she can create*Star*

Reading aloud, the rhyming adds synchronicity to the stanzas and there is some rhythm and balance in some of the similarly situated lines in the two full stanzas.

The conclusion is intense and relates feeling to the moon and loving to the sun for a sum that is, the 'soul.'*Star*

Thank you for sharing this poignant, powerfully written poem that remains with me after I have finished reading.

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
163
163
Review of Wingless Angel  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I can see myself engaged in this battle; very vivid description of a battle that can have but one conclusion; end for one of the combatants. The opening scene, in particular, is very vivid and showing, taking the reader right to the battle*Star* and the conclusory statement is appropriate.

I see but a bit of showing and some repetitive word usage, i.e., beginning each of the first three paragraphs with "The" ~ perhaps consider the first simply starting with "Two bitter rivals..." I also see some showing in the second paragraph which perhaps could be tightened where Tino does not have to be mentioned as often, the reader understanding they are his actions being lived.

The finale, to verify that it's Zak's body now limp on the ground, perhaps something like "...Tino sliced off the head of Zak, leaving the headless body behind, limp on the ground." ????

This is likely a scene from a longer story, as the 'promise' is not referenced earlier, perhaps it could be noted somewhere with "Echoes of the past" ??

Thank you for offering this story of high fantasy ~ I look forward to reading more of your work soon ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
164
164
Review of My Love Is  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see more of your work soon*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Your poem is a true joy to read*Heart* A tribute to a new love's hopeful promise and, reading your words, for you I can believe it unfolding as you proclaim*Star*

Reading aloud, as a free form poem, I do not seek rhyme but a cohesion and flow of images, which I find well met here. Each stanza poses a question then vividly answers same; with a linear timeline from the first spark of love to its eternal flame*Star* There is some rhythm in the question and answer with the definitive statement "My love is..." *Star*

I read your words and find myself once again imaginging and dreaming of such a love*Heart* Thank you.


Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1128309 Unavailable **

wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
165
165
Review of Cubicle Chronicle  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Been there, done that, yet you relate it so well; I can feel the intensity once again*Star*

Reading aloud, as a free form poem I do not seek rhyme, but a continuity and flow of imagery, which is well met*Star* The stops are logical and give pause for a moment for the image to sink in, before moving on to the next step in the ongoing battle of mortal vs. machine in the cubicle arena*Rolleyes*

A couple spots I noted a bit of discord ~ the single quotes around actions could be a bit more consistent (i.e., use around 'ctr-alt-del,' as well as the other functions used on; and the computer language quotes also the same, "9,8,7" as the machine counts down, and continue the numbers?? For me this would hold like two differing entities engaged in a battle only one can win (and I cheer heartily for the Winner, my fellow cube-ist*Bigsmile*).

Welcome to WDC and Thank you for sharing this delightful 'battle story' ~ I will envision again Monday morning when my computer in my cube doesn't quite feel like booting up*Rolleyes*

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
166
166
Review of Blind Date  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed the journey down memory lane ~ I recognized shades of Jeannie (the blinks) but thank you for the intro to Serena. I inferred something of a fantasy '70s coming from the "Cher" lookalikes and I flashed Cyndi Lauper at the spiked hair person*Smile*

The opening very natural, with Jack assuming that Mickey was setting him up with at first a paid 'companion' ~ then taking a leap of faith and going to meeting place. Again, I sense a fantasy when nobody paid them any mind ~ as if reality were either shifting, or they had somehow entered an alternate state of being.

During the ascent and travels, the narrative goes a bit passive for me after the "swift ascent rhough brilliant chasms of strangely colored twilight into the black maw of another dimension..." *Star* ~ "Then there was" perhaps open with something like "A kaleidoscopic cataclysm of color exploded with a cacophony of sound..."???

A splendid ending in which I would love to participate!!!

Thank you for offering this delightful journey!

Keep Writing!
Kate

center} ** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
{/center}
167
167
Review of The Mystery Date  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading your story for Terrace Assignment #33 ~ I could see myself there with Dora and Marta, natural like girlfriends are*Smile*; you bring me into both Dora's and Marta's personality, making them real. At the Food Court, again very real and I can imagine this as a real mystery date with the potential for more to come*Heart*.

I note but a few occurrences of telling over showing or cliche. The opening could be more active rather than passive i.e., "Marta and I met for lunch at McDonalds" instead of "Marta had lunch with me"; and perhaps have Dora wipe her nose in place of 'snif' (like a screenplay). Consider eliminating a few redundant words, i.e., "Instead," just start with "She gave me two days. Also, more active, consider "Marta leapt nearly a foot in the air..." more accurate than "nearly leapt" the visual image of her jumping is there. So just a bit of tightening and this is a very vivid real interchange.

A tiny oops "he's agreed to meet you tonight at the food court." (I deleted the first "at") in the sentence; and they don't sit until the end, so suggest Dora dash off leaving Marta gaping after her or standing alone???

The first view of the 'mystery date' so realistic ~ I feel like I'm there on Dora's shoulder*Star* Suggest not going omniscient ("I could see he sincerely meant??") How - was he staring, holding hands, eyes gleaming????

Thank you for this joyour journey ~ there's still hope out there *Star*

Keep Writing!
Kate
** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
168
168
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading your interchange with respect to MARS and NEPTUNE and belief in general ~ how specious it can be. Each 'speaker' maintained a singular voice and I could identify each from their words without the nametags before I finished reading; like a conversation I was eavesdropping upon*Star* One voice is assertive, first person and demanding/commanding, where the second is passive, receptive, reaching or searching for something.

Beautifully rendered.

Reading aloud, I found cohesiveness in voice and fairly even rhythm; no grammar or otherwise nits.
Thank you for sharing this provocative, reflective work*Heart*

** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
169
169
Review of Heaven  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading your memory of 'my' first horseback riding lesson for the "Rising Stars" ~ I also was about the same age and dreamed from childhood of riding. Your images are so vivid, they brought mine back with the tender and exhilarating feeling*Star*

Reading aloud, there is some rhythm and the use of alliteration and assonance in places adds to engagement of all the senses*Star* (i.e., "Shining in shades of brown and black") ~ consider removing the sev'ral perhaps, it's implied in the image.

Also, the rhythm drops a bit in the stress words - consider starting the second line "My dream..." that 'dream' is highlighted and again eliminate 'seemed', since for a child it 'was' eternal.

for the rhythm, next stanza, consider adding "Its pleasure so deep and intense" for the rhythm?

To keep it immediate still, the fourth stanza "My hand will never forget" and "Beneath my black riding hat." ??? see how that sounds to you??

Also, last stanza, "My mare rocking me so tenderly," ???

*Star*On whole the earth no better place be found.*Star* ~ How True!

Thank you for taking me back to that time of innocent free joy with your words and images*Heart*

** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
170
170
Review of Time Puzzle  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for this vision of time eternal for the "Rising Stars" auction ~ thought-provoking and ethereal, time a mystery to be lived and embraced, whether "...no time" or "...all time."*Star*

As a poem, a couple places I had to return, the second line, "Life of all time, only lives together." ~ plural lives? or 'only living' ? or existing?

Also, the second stanza, the tense "scientists now prove Your point," or "scientists have proven Your point," ??

Thank you again for this powerfully written vision that remains with me after I have finished reading.*Star*

** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
171
171
Review of Drinking Memories  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading your vision memories for the Rising Stars ~ brought in second-hand cups (and thank you for the explanation - learned something new*Thumbsup*); and the etheree form was well met as to syllable count while portraying a cohesive story/image.

Reading aloud, stressing cups in the first three lines makes sense, and I would but suggest keeping a stress word on the end of the one split thought (7th line), perhaps "...Since these" (in place of "they")???

Thank you for sharing this vision, the image remains after I have finished reading*Star*

** Image ID #1132499 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Invalid Merit Badge #112280 ** Image ID #933706 Unavailable ** Invalid Merit Badge #113511

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable **          RAOK's logo image. This is a shared image, so feel free to use its item number.

Image #1092169 over display limit. -?-

Image #1128318 over display limit. -?-
172
172
Rated: E | (4.5)
Does embrace the essence of Walt Whitman's rhythmic poetic style ~ Evokes for me a sense of the 'story' of the traveler seeing the world through the 'eyes of a poet' in Whitman's "Leaves of Grass" *Star*

Related in first person as a narrative, then engaging all the senses with the images of what the traveler sees, senses, the end of the journey causing the reader to realize that though lone, the traveler at one with the essence of nature and life*Heart*

Reading aloud, the rhythm is fairly even throughout, the only discord I find in the second stanza, consider for the flow "meandering through fertile plains" (more immediate without 'the') ???

Thank you for sharing this vision that remains with me after I have finished reading ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
173
173
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is Splendid! Beautifully designed with welcoming candles and immediately identified as a place of spiritual retreat and energy with the Charge of the Goddess and God, and the Wiccan Rede. The healing and nurturing blue is healing ~ positive energy abounds.

A Beautiful Inspired Website designed by a Goddess Blessed!

Keep Writing!
Kate

** Image ID #1194105 Unavailable **

manga_kate
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~

** Image ID #1123205 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #931928 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1108231 Unavailable **
** Image ID #1128318 Unavailable **

174
174
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for offering this venue that invites the Muse to submit a challenging mystery!

As a forum, the opening is inviting, immediately describing what the host desires, and enticing writers to submit a story to challenge the judge to solve a mystery! Examples of published works by known authors is included to further exemplify the type of story that will merit prizes ~ which are very generous.*Smile*

The rules for posting, story criteria, word count are all clear and easy to locate, as is the judging criteria ~ detailed and set apart to focus attention.

One thing missing which is common in contest posts - gp contributions to the forum for prize fund or whatever ~ are they accepted-welcomed from contestants?

I hope to see this challenge continue for quite awhile ~ promises some delightfully twisted reading and perhaps a place to try my hand at a twisted mystery of my own ~ so I'm not sending gps with this review, just in case*Blush*

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
175
175
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for offering this free form poem, the mystery of life is the living is the message I gained, with each line affording another mystery to ponder and reflect upon!

As a free form poem, I do not seek rhyme, but a flow of imagery and a cohesive theme. The questions all relate one to the other, and the final line affords a satisfying solution to the mystery contemplated.*Star*

I find but two images that are a bit less tight, the image of autumn (the most beautiful season in my opinion), perhaps cite one example instead of the general transformation, i.e., something like touch a soft orange fall leaf??? and the next shifts voices with "contemplate" and "certainties" ~ suggest perhaps holding one tense, either "certainty" or "knowing" ?? perhaps

I thank you for this inspirational mystery and look forward to reading more of your insightful work^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
** Image ID #1233066 Unavailable **

Kate - Writing & Reading
~~Image #6000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
475 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 19 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/manga_kate/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/7