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51
51
Review of Who am I?  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
A pretty interesting take on the question--Who am I!

Once I posed this question to myself. You may like to view it:

https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/726...

It is always nice to see a writing / picture / pattern that is different from the routine.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of Free  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
Like a bird proud of flying, swinging his wings
In absolute amnesia relishing the ecstasy
Vanishing the noise, .....

>>> Here is something you need to correct. Vanishing the noise? What exactly do you want to convey? Maybe you want to say--"Leaving behind the noise".

***

Breathing pure and limpid air

>>> Why should the air be limpid? In any case, the two adjectives do not go together. One denotes quality while the other takes away from quality. It is like saying--the food was tasty but insipid.

SUGGESTION--Breathing pure and light air.

It is a good poem, trying to capture the delight of a bird flying high and free.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of Doubt vs Faith  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
This article subtly attempts to propagate Christianity. There is no problem with that because spreading / propagating a religion is a human right. But this right cannot extend to the extent that some other religion is deprecated.

Ref: Many doubt that the Christian life can be better than the one they are living now.
>>> Inherent here is a suggestion / belief that the life of a Christian is better than the life of non-Christians. This is objectionable.

There are a few grammatical mistakes.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================






one they are living now.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of With My Own Money  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a wonderful story, on facts as well as narration. It brings out very well the emotions of a child, and of the mother, as also the interplay of social strata in an Indian family. I wish I could write a story like this. However, I write only poetry (apart from my legal drafts as a lawyer).

A commendable write!

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review of In Heaven  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
My comments are as follows:

1--I think the writer needs to explain as a footnote the type of poem he / she has written.

2--According to Wikipedia: "A roundel consists of nine lines each having the same number of syllables, plus a refrain after the third line and after the last line."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundel_(poetry)#:~:text=A%20roundel%20(not%20to%20be,Swinburne%20(1837%E2%80%931909).&text=A%20roundel%20consists%20of%20nine,and%20after%20the%20last%20line.

3--Your poem is not a roundel as per this definition. Syllable counts vary from line to line.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
The main theme of this article is that people need to be properly trained before they can use a new technology; in this case, a credit card. The theme is not debatable. It is axiomatic. The real life examples are interesting.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful anecdote, stated to be from the epic Mahabharat. I never read it earlier. It has infinite wisdom and a practical message about how to live life. Thanks for sharing.

It is unusual that you joined wdc seven and a half years ago but have not set up your bio-block. You can't imagine how many people might have, in vain, tried to know a bit about you.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a story well told.

Sample:

“Ma’am?” Samantha stood. “This is the best ice-cream I’ve ever had. Here. Have some.”

Two and a half scoops covered with cream, nuts, and big red cherry on top suddenly adorned Shelly’s head.

“Poster perfect. Let me get a shot.” Samantha whipped out her I-phone and snapped some for fun, giggling as she did.

***

Keep writing.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
Dear Dr. Bey,

The following friendly comments are meant to possibly help you:

1--This item is labelled as an essay. It is not an essay. It looks more like a poem.

2--There are issues of grammar. Just by way of example:

"rays are brightening calling for savoring the ecstasy"

>>> What are the rays brightening? [We might use this form in, say, --rays were brightening her face.]

Looks like you want to say:

"bright rays calling for savoring the ecstasy".


This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
It is nice to see something written in praise of the almighty.

I have two comments:


He walked this earthly land
>>> What is the significance and meaning and need for "earthly"? Would it not be enough to say--

He walked on this earth
OR
He walked on this land.

*****

God is the Creator
And the mediator.

>>> Creator is fine. But mediator? Between which two entities does the God mediate?

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
I accessed this item in order to review it for the purpose of a reciprocal review for an item of mine that you have reviewed. However, I can't offer a review except by way of wishing you success in your endeavour.

Since you have joined this group very recently, I wish to offer you a gentle advice / suggestion. You will gain if you review others' items and if you seriously take suggestions offered in reviews of your items.

Reviewing is the backbone of writing.com

--M C Gupta
62
62
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
SUGGESTIONS:

our souls escaped, got separated, melt and disappeared finally.
>>>melted

our love was taken away by a huge amount of waves of bitterness, deceptions and remorse.
>>> huge waves of bitterness,

Our love which dazzled like a tremendous number of stars, was transformed harshly, in a thunderbolt in a full serene sky, love betrayed us.

>>>Our love which dazzled like a innumerable stars, was transformed harshly, into a thunderbolt in a full serene sky. Love betrayed us.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
Review of My fairy  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is labelled as an essay but is actually a poem. You might like to change the description.

Balsam was your skin and fairy were your hands
Your voice like a soft breath is still in my ears
Your tremendous smooth tenderness flooded the surrounding

>>>The opening two lines are great. The word "tremendous" does not go well with tenderness. You might like to substitute "tremendous" by 'mild'.

***

Your deep sight still alive
>>> I suggest "look" in place of "sight".

***

My memory is empty but full of your person
Who illuminates my universe

>>> "which" in place of "who" would be more appropriate.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of Rain is gorgeous.  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)
The author cautions in the beginning itself--"This piece might just be an emotional outburst". Yes, it turns out to be so. This piece does seem to be a conglomeration of disjointed sentences. However, the one thing which joins them is the background of rain, which itself is a good thing.
There are grammatical mistakes to be taken care of.


This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a poem telling about the sadness caused by the daily news of deaths caused by the Covid-19 virus.

The theme is topical. The language needs to be polished from the point of view of grammar.


She pour some drink on glass
>>>She poured some drink in a glass.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
Review of Solitary  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear doctor,

This is a nice piece but calls for the following comments:

1--It is labelled as an essay but it is not. It looks more like poetry.

2--Ref: Being lonely within such desert in which all is empty.

>>> Being lonely in such desert

[e.g. --I was sitting in the desert contemplating within my heart.]

3--sun rays shinning everywhere
>>> shining.

Hope you do not mind my comments. I am just trying to be helpful, not critical.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
There are some problems here.

Ref: your corps went but your soul close to mine


The dictionary meaning of cops is—“a main subdivision of an army in the field, consisting of two or more divisions.”
You probably meant corpse, but such use would not be proper. If you meant corpus, that might be OK, though not a common usage.

***

Ref: feeling of coldness because of your exile

>>> Your departure might be better than "exile", which is described in the dictionary as--"the state of being barred from one's native country, typically for political or punitive reasons."

***

Ref: in my sub consciousness, I feel your near arrival, like an obsession, like a daily sun rise

>>> subconsciousness; sunrise

I understand that English is not your first language. Nor is it mine. The dictionary is always there when in doubt. And, it pays to be in doubt often.

Finally, its style is labelled as an essay. An essay of 12 lines may have one or two paras. This item has 8 paras / statements.

Hope the above helps.

This is a reciprocal review.

--M C Gupta

========================




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
68
68
Review of Queen Of Darkness  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.0)

This poem, though labelled as a haiku, does not conform the definition of a haiku--



"a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature or one of the seasons.
a poem written in this form."

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/haiku#:~:text=no...

The first line has 10 syllables.

The next two lines are grammatically incorrect--

But her heart drips blue,
For all their fear and anguish.

There are no spelling mistakes.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
69
69
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This item is supposedly a sonnet. However, it is not.

Ref:

In the English-speaking world, we usually refer to three discrete types of sonnet: the Petrarchan, the Shakespearean, and the Spenserian.
All of these maintain the features outlined above - fourteen lines, a volta, iambic pentameter - and they all three are written in sequences. The primary difference is the rhyme scheme.


https://www.superprof.co.in/blog/different-types-o...

NOTE—None of the above three types has a rhyme scheme used here—AABB. Also, there are more than 14 lines.

Regarding the writing itself, it is clean, without grammatical or other mistakes. You have treated the subject in a subtle and abstract manner.
It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
70
70
Review of Hear me once  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a nice little poem about the feelings of the heart.

Ref: Lonly is my nights
>>> Lonely are my nights

Suggestion--Both you and the readers might gain if you use a bit of punctuation.
[Some persons tend to think that punctuation is irrelevant in poetry. It is not so.]

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review of Double Rainbow  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a very well written anecdote about a little child's playful exploits. The description of everything and action, the minutest, is wonderful.

Sample this--
Annie wipes her wet sleeve off on her pants as she stares out through the window in wonderment, "her eyes so wide they reflect the image outside clearly".

Keep writing.

--M C Gupta


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a gripping story, fascinatingly told. However, unless I am missing something, the end is too abrupt and the story is unfinished. [I am afraid I am missing some vital clue.]

Is there a Part Two?

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================

73
73
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am very happily surprised to read this account. I believe it is all true and, that being so, I congratulate you for your approach and insight.

As a piece of writing, too, it is excellent stuff written on a novel topic in engaging style without any mistake of language / grammar.

Keep it up.

It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================
74
74
Review of Dreams Matter  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (3.5)
A mild comment:

All of us in the world stands by your side,
and knows what it's like to have a dreams.

>>>

All of us in the world stand by your side,
and know what it's like to have a dreams.

***

Your bioblock says --"I have decided not to listen to people's opinion...."

I meekly suggest you revise this attitude. None ever suffered in life if he / she bothered about others' opinion.

NOTE--The poem will look better if you try to keep the line length nearly the same everywhere.


It is a reciprocal review.
--M C Gupta
================

75
75
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a nice small poem describing picturesquely the sad horror of war based on principles that taint a religion, the religion itself being revealed in the last but one line--

her blood soaked hijab
flutters in the breeze

Your imagery is great.

--M C Gupta
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