This item is about parenting. Its description reads--"the joy of parenting from the perspective of those involved".
You need to improve your writing by paying attention to punctuation and by keeping the sentences short. The opening sentence reads--
"I find myself wondering what we learn from the adventure called parenthood whether we be a child or an adult who has suffered the joys and pains that attend surviving as a child what took place during a growing up kind of jungle."
This poem gives a strong and clear message in no ambiguous words--
So, men, just let her have a free hand
with design of the house, for you’ll adjust
to whatever she picks, but know beforehand
unless everything pleases her she’ll just bust.
I wondered why this 11 line poem, without rhyme or rhythm, has been rated five stars by five viewers. I found the answer. It lies in the last line---"No wonder babies cry."
But these four words, "No wonder babies cry", are not dramatic in themselves. The dramatic change occurs just before these.
This is quite a humorous story, definitely worth a read.As things are, humour is not common on this or other sites. The fact is--It is not easy to write humour.
Ref: since I had all ready bought myself two new movies for Christmas
When tears find their way to my eyes, I am not distraught.
I can smile in the pain; it will only last for a moment.
The joy of your love is new and fresh every day.
I know I can turn to you. No doubt. No fear.
This is followed by one more line, referred below.
***
The reader is prone to think these lines are addressed to a human being. Such thought is strengthened by the fact that throughout the poem, 'y' in you is not capitalised.
But, then, the poem ends with--
I know I can turn to you. No doubt. No fear.
My Savior, My Lord.
The theme of this story is good but its presentation is not perfect.
1--In the beginning, you write-- Couple A believed in raising their child with strict discipline and control while Couple B believed in giving their child whatever he desired.
LATER, you write--
And as for couple B’s child their strict and disciplined way of raising him drove him insane.
So, you see, you have lost the plot yourself:)
2--There are issues of grammar and punctuation throughout.
This 31 word poem can be easily summarised in its first nine words--
There's me:
Lonely and sad.
And then there's you
****
These three lines could fit thousands of situations with the common theme--"The girl loves boy and has certain expectations which are apparently unfulfilled,leading to loneliness and sadness in the mind of the girl (and, often, a feeling of being unable to understand on the part of the boy.)
It is a nice sonnet describing the behaviour of a bear, a bird and a child in response to cold, icy winter. The rhyme and syllable scheme is perfect.
No more comments would have been needed but the last two lines read--
Now, I ask you honestly, not in jest:
Of the bear, bird, or child, which one knows best?
***
The real answer is that each of the three acts as per the learnt behaviour / reflexes. The bear hibernates to avoid freezing dead. The bird migrates to avoid freezing dead. The child plays with ice during the day because he knows that, in the night, he will be in the warm embrace of the mother.
I feel intrigued and curious when I fail to understand a poem.
Ref:
I cried when he told me get out
he is too poor to see me
a rich man's son who
walk away from his hall of fame
***
It appears that the girl is saying--My friend is "a rich man's son who
walk away from his hall of fame", meaning thereby that he left his rich paternal home and chose to live a poor man's life.
Now, "he is too poor to see me".
Because of his poor fate, "he told me get out". This made the girl cry.
If the above is what you meant, it's fine. Otherwise, please explain the intended meaning / message.
This is an intriguing poem for the following reasons:
i)--It is described as --A poem written for the Musical Sentiments contest. But I do not find any reference here to music or music instruments.
ii)--Even otherwise, I am not able to understand what message is sought to be conveyed to the reader or what is the main theme of the feelings being expressed by the writer.
NOTE--I understand that I am not the gold standard to judge others' poetry and that my intrigue may be because of my own difficulty in comprehension.
This is a beautiful, sad poem about the loss of a young daughter--
A young man stood upon a small hill.
A look of sadness tested his iron will.
He knelt beside a tiny mound of green grass.
There a marble marker of a very young lass.
**
And, about the mound--
He placed a loving hand upon the mound.
His goodbye to his daughter made no sound.
This is a nice story, a repetition of the usual event-- a girl falling for the superficial affection of a boy, ignoring the warning of well wishers and, getting pregnant and forgotten by the boy.
***
Its description reads--Young woman ignores a friends warning.
>>> friend's
***
The end line--Things got of hand, I’m pregnant, and Cameron doesn’t know me.
>>> out of hand.
The beauty of this piece lies in its title and the expectation which the title arouses in the reader, especially when the item is not described as a poem / poetry and the reader naturally thinks it is an article about cryptography.
And, what one finds!
The opening lines explain the title--
The past few days have brought me an entirely different perspective
Deciphering your clues
Following the messages you sent me
Sometimes silently
Sometime directly
Always inconspicuously
Yet each of them purposely leading me to your door.
The end lines remove any doubt--
"Cryptography.
Our inability to figure each other out."
This is a beautiful poem, with excellent flow even without rhyme, that tells about a veteran going for a job interview. Before the interview, he sits on a bench in a nearby park, just to pray to God for success. There comes a blue bird and seats itself near him. He says to her--
“Wish me luck little guy, you're a good friend.”
Then he goes for the interview, gets the job, and as he comes out,
Walking to the elevator he noticed something
That blue bird was out on the ledge all along
The bird pecked on the glass so he reached out
He touched the little guys beak with his finger.
This is an enjoyable comedy about a blind date described as--
The idea of a date from an online service
made my palms sweaty and my heart nervous.
His email said, I'll pick you up at eight.
My response was, Sure that sounds great.
When he arrived knocking at the door
My anxiousness continued to soar.
At first sight this man looked mean
and his voice stumbled, Hi, I'm Dean.
We need more of humour in poetry. Thanks for providing the same.
This poem is nothing short of the work of a genius!
Let me explain--
Some think that God
Shapes every human in the palm of His hand,
Making them all
Normal
Good
Right.
I do not think so.
I have my own thoughts.
Humans are mass-produced in Heaven
Flesh poured into little molds
And then roughly shoved onto conveyor belts
By little nude children with the snow-white wings of a dove.
This is a sort of spiritual story built around a wonderful imaginary thought--
"I fell down yesterday. I fell through a rip in space and time. I descended into the dark unknown and landed in a meadow of wild rhyme. I watched the sun descend behind snow capped peaks. Then I curled into a fetal ball to sleep secure and warm throughout the night."
This is a poem meant to convey the idea, apparently, that life is a poem and we keep on living / writing it day after day in a monotonous manner. The description reads--"I suspect I am just writing the same old poem over and over again."
Some lines from the poem--
"I will write one poem repeatedly
until I stop writing one poem repeatedly.
I am writing one poem repeatedly.
It is the only poem there is, and to write it is the only thing to do."
I feel over-repetition itself should be avoided in a poem.
--M C Gupta
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