Prosperous Snow celebrating's (nfdarbe) Reviews

, I am reviewing "Adriana's Tale"

, because I discovered it on the newsfeed.

First Impression: Adriana the first paragraph hooked me with Adriana hiding in her secret place. The description are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The metaphors and similes are fresh and descriptive. I especially like this simile plans spun in her mind like a spider's web.

Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written story a 5.0 because the action kept me focused on the characters and the movement of the plot.

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by Maryann

377

#4712772

Review of The Universe is a Rubik's Cube

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, Kotaro

, I am reviewing "The Universe is a Rubik's Cube"

, because I discovered it on the newsfeed.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Jimi leaving the bar. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The climax is my favorite part of the story. I like the climax because it suggested hope.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of Jimi, he is an intriguing and sympathetic characters.

Write on!

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by Maryann

378

#4712669

Review of Coffee, The Magical Elixir

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi, intuey

, I am reviewing "Coffee, The Magical Elixir"

, because I discovered it on the self-help genre page.

First Impression: The poem follows the stated form and looks good on the page. The rhythm moves the narrative and emotions of desire forward at a good pace.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: This is my favorite line, with a wonderful, magical, miraculous, mystical coffee bean caffeine. I like this line because of the alliteration.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this poem because of the subject .

Write on!

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by Maryann

379

#4712664

Review of Cloak and Flame

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, James Erikson

, I am reviewing "Cloak and Flame"

, because I discovered it under by online authors .

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the exhausted mage going to sleep in front of the fire. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The climax surprised me because I did not expect the mage to open a door in the side of the mountain.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the mage.

Write on!

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by Maryann

380

#4712538

Review of The Veiled Girls Of Gynarchy

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi, Novice Author

, I am reviewing "The Veiled Girls Of Gynarchy"

, because I discovered it under read a newbie .

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with males having nothing to say worth hearing. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems..

I like: I found this story intriguing, thought-provoking, and a bit troubling.

Final thoughts: This is an intriguing concept. Have you considered using this story as part of a novel based on this subject

Write on!

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by Maryann

381

#4712502

Review of Broken

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi, ridinghhood-p.boutilier

, I am reviewing "Broken"

, because I discovered it on "The Writer's Cramp"

forum page.

First Impression: The poem follows the form and looks good on the page. The first person point of view and voice is a good choice because it shows the broken emotions.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The third and fourth lines are my favorites because the emphasize the emotion of depression.

Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written poem a 5.0 because of the way it shows emotion.

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by Maryann

382

#4712359

Review of Of Frank and Fate

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, Jack L. Grey

, I am reviewing "Of Frank and Fate"

, because I discovered it in "Short Stories Newsletter (September 13, 2023)"

.

First Impression: The descriptions are part of the actioon and move the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation among the characters build the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The conversation among the characters kept me focused on the movement of the plot.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the characters.

Write on!

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by Maryann

383

#4712218

Review of Opening night at the Delicatessen

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, H❀pe

, I am reviewing "Opening night at the Delicatessen"

, because I discovered it on the "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge"

forum page.

First Impression: The second paragraph hooked me withe Walter’s statement. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation and interaction among the characters builds the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: Walter is an intriguing and sympathetic character.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of Walter.

Write on!

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by Maryann

384

#4712204

Review of Alive (Nightmare)

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi, Daniel Parker

, I am reviewing "Alive (Nightmare)"

, because I discovered it on the newsfeed.

First Impression: The description of the guy talking in the first paragraph hooked me. The speaker moves the narrative and plot forward at a good pace, while making the description part of the action.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems. I am looking forward to reading the next part of this serial,

I like: This is my favorite simile, as inconspicuous as a pair of rhinos in ballet. I like this simile because it is fresh, descriptive, and visual.

Final thoughts: I am giving this exciting and well-written story a 5.0 because of the active descriptions, which kept me focused on the movement of the plot.

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by Maryann

385

#4712109

Review of The Journey

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi, THANKFUL SONALI Now What?

, I am reviewing "The Journey"

, because I discovered it in "Short Stories Newsletter (September 13, 2023)"

.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with someone going away. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: My favorite part is about the child holding up the plane because she had to go to the bathroom.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of its emphasize on friendship.

Write on!

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by Maryann

386

#4712106

Review of "Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty.'

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, Espero

, I am reviewing ""Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty.'"

, because I discovered it in "Short Stories Newsletter (September 13, 2023)"

.

First Impression: The eight foot kittens hooked me. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The antics of the eight foot kitten made me smile, because it was typical kitten behavior.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing story because of the kittens.

Write on!

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by Maryann

387

#4712105

Review of Molly...Meet the Giant

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, Dr Gonzo

, I am reviewing "Molly...Meet the Giant"

, because I discovered it in "Short Stories Newsletter (September 13, 2023)"

.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Molly growling. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: Reading about Molly is my favorite part of this story.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed this story because of Molly.

Write on!

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by Maryann

388

#4711900

Review of ruwth is writing...

for entry "~ Three Things That Worked ~"

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

September Member to Member Review Raid

Hi, ruwth

, I am reviewing "ruwth is writing..."

"~ Three Things That Worked ~"

because the title aroused my curiosity.

First Thoughts: The first paragraph aroused the reader's curiosity about the things that have made the author's walk through life better. The rest of the essay gives the reader an indication of why the three things make the author's life better.

What I Like: My favorite suggestions is about focusing on one's own thoughts. I like this suggestion because it is something many people have difficulty doing.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to write another essay about focusing on one's own thoughts. Does one begin with prayer to help focus?

Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this item, because of the three suggestions.

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by Maryann

389

#4711886

Review of The Day Helensburgh Stood Still

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

September Member to Member Review Raid

Hi, WriterRick

, I am reviewing "The Day Helensburgh Stood Still "

, because the title aroused my curiosity.

First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooked me with it being an ordinary day in Helensburgh. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

What I Like: My favorite part of this story is the climax, because it taught a lesson.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of time standing still.

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by Maryann

390

#4711881

Review of Paige and Donnie

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

September Member to Member Review Raid

Hi, tracker

, I am reviewing "Paige and Donnie"

because the description under the title aroused my curiosity.

First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooked me with Paige remembering the day Donnie left. The speaker moves the narrative and plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

What I Like: The diary entry was a good choice for this story, because it shows the speaker's emotions.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to make this part of a book about Paige's struggles.

Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story, because it was a diary entry.

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by Maryann

391

#4711873

Review of Quest To Find The Tree Of Life

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

September Member to Member Review Raid

Hi, Joseph

, I am reviewing "Quest To Find The Tree Of Life"

because the title aroused my curiosity.

First Thoughts: The first paragraph hooks the reader with the way the planet was destroyed. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace. The interaction among the characters builds the suspense.

What I Like: The description of Chris, as a mountain man, does a good job of revealing his character to the reader.

The climax is my favorite part of the story, because it was a surprise.

Suggestions: In this phrase, had heard not of, I suggest switching the positions heard and not, so that it reads not heard.

A typo in this phrase, boulders’ tare apart, I suggest changing tare to tear.

Final Thoughts: I enjoyed reading this intriguing story because of the interaction of the characters.

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by Maryann

392

#4711766

Review of The Time Crystal

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hi, Krista of House Mormont

, I am reviewing "The Time Crystal"

, because I discovered it on the fantasy genre page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the path covered by willow branches. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: Izzy is an intriguing and sympathetic character.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of Izzy.

Write on!

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14 days may be credited.

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by Maryann

393

#4711589

Review of Campfire Tale

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, Allen Mitchell

, I am reviewing "Campfire Tale"

, because I discovered it on "The Writer's Cramp"

forum page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with Taylor's statement. The speaker moves the plot forward at a good pace. The conversation among the characters build the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: This is my favorite sentence, To this day, death metal and a screaming baby sound the same to me. I like this sentence because it made me laugh.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the characters.

Write on!

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by Maryann

394

#4711583

Review of Dark Ebony Melanin

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, Maãlík

, I am reviewing "Dark Ebony Melanin"

, because I discovered it on the newsfeed.

First Impression: The first line in this poem hooked me. It also established the poem's theme and subject. The main emotion of this poem is love.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems. My only suggestion is to keep writing thought-provoking items.

I like: This is my favorite line, Love what you see when you look in that mirror, made in the image of The Most High. I like this line because it states the lesson of the poem, while reminding the reader of something many people tend to forget.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this thought-provoking poem, because it gave me something to think about concerning skin color.

Write on!

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by Maryann

395

#4711568

Review of The Farting Dine

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, John Andrew Jenkins

, I am reviewing "The Farting Dine"

, because I discovered it on the Hub under Newest Static Items.

First Impression: The poem follows the stated form and looks good on the page. The first stanza establishes the speaker, theme, mood, and subject of the poem. The rhythm and rhyming words compliment each other, while the rhythm moves the narrative and amusing emotions forward at a good pace.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The third stanza is my favorite, because it ends with a question. The question made me smile.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this amusing poem because it made me smile.

Write on!

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14 days may be credited.

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by Maryann

396

#4711461

Review of Spectators

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi, Eight-7

, I am reviewing "Spectators"

, because I discovered it on the newsfeed.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the couple hurrying through the parking lot. The woman's statement in the second paragraph reveals a great deal about the couples relationship. There are definitely issues in the marriage that is causing estrangement.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The second paragraph is my favorite because it reveals something about the couple's relationship.

Final thoughts: I am giving this story a 5.0 because of the way the couple's relationship was revealed.

Write on!

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by Maryann

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

397

#4711362

Review of Turribius

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi, bob county

, I am reviewing "Turribius"

, because I discovered it on the mythology genre page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the mysteries. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: My favorite part of this story is the question at the end, because it gives the reader something to think about and meditate on.

Final thoughts: I am giving this thought-provoking story a 5.0 because it made me definition of a martyr's death.

Write on!

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by Maryann

398

#4711349

Review of September Storm

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi, THANKFUL SONALI Now What?

, I am reviewing "September Storm"

, because I discovered it on "The Writer's Cramp"

forum page.

First Impression: The poem follows the free verse form and looks good on the page. The poem's first stanza hooks the reader, while establishing the mood and theme. The main emotion of this poem is anger.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The descriptions in this poem mirror the emotion of anger, without specifically stating the poem's emotion.

Final thoughts: I am giving this well-written poem a 5.0 because of the way it shows the emotion of anger.

Write on!

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by Maryann

399

#4711285

Review of The Star of Polaris: Chapter 1

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, Geoffrey Williams

, I am reviewing "The Star of Polaris: Chapter 1"

, because I discovered it on the sci-fi genre page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the village that safe guarded the tallest peak. The descriptions are part of the action and move the plot forward at a good pace, while building the suspense.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems. I am looking forward to reading more of this story.

I like: The climax arouses the reader's curiosity about what happens next. I like William because he is an intriguing and sympathetic character.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this chapter because of William.

Write on!

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by Maryann

400

#4711141

Review of That day, I learned

Review by Prosperous Snow...

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi, Show Show

, I am reviewing "That day, I learned"

, because I discovered it on "The Writer's Cramp"

forum page.

First Impression: The first paragraph hooked me with the debate topic. The author moves the narrative forward at a good pace, while keeping the reader's attention on the debt.

Suggestions: I found no technical problems.

I like: The last paragraph is my favorite because it closed the debate with the lesson the author learned.

Final thoughts: I enjoyed reading this story because of the debate.

Write on!