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Review Requests: OFF
2,987 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there queen. Lowly Nixie here.

I enjoyed reading your story about rambunctious brothers with vivid, if limited imaginations. My daughter went through a phase where she wore capes she'd made everywhere. She brushed aside the ridicule. She had and still has a strong personality, not unlike mine.

Okay, back to the brothers. I delved into your world to explore with the boys. It was easy to picture them because your descriptions of the setting were both funny and visual.

When my sister was alive, I worshiped her. Whatever she did, I had to do. Thank goodness I was more mischievous than her, and we never got in trouble. That's how I connected with the older brother. He was so real in his concern for letting his little brother down, all the while hoping Joey would forget. I liked following Charlie's line of thought. He's (was) a good brother. His love shone through the words.

Now, about that magic box. Again, your showing the reader the action kept me engaged. I thought the entire experience was all funny, until the last line.
If you intended to create shock value, it worked. But somehow, I felt the missing father should have been mentioned earlier.

At any rate, a lively read with a flowing plot. Well done.



Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group




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52
52
Review of Moment of Truth  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Elle. Nixie here. I found your work via random review.

It's my way to skip to the end of a piece and read the last line. So I began with the author's notes, which didn't help me at all. I can't remember when I stopped listening to music. It's magical, and I've lost it.

I wish my thoughts stayed more generic to appreciate what you wrote, but I'm fighting internally over the conflicts in our government, such as it is. The inequality, the overlooking, the cruelty. I'm reading less and less of the news, and I imagine so are others. Our only recourse was to vote and look where that got us. My question is "Don't they see?" I'm astonished members of congress are still in his grip, almost in lock step. I'll stop those comments here, before I step into turbulent political waters that will never be bridged.

I'm horrified that people of color are treated unfairly. What is wrong with humankind? Is it our nature to have war within us?

Your words are brave and brutally honest. Words that need to be said. I thought the first line of the last stanza would transition into being okay with upset, not necessarily tied to fighting the tide. I mean, who know can tell what is wrong and what is right? (That's not a personal observation directed toward you.) I never want to lose our friendship.

Maybe I missed the entire message, due to the political fever. I want to move beyond it. I want the discord to resolve. Yes, we must do what we can to bolster peace, even if it seems futile. At least we're doing something. And we must stand up against inequality, though I fear it will always be this way. Now I'm reminded and sickened by the tragic death of George Floyd. Is that where the fire roared?

You're quite the thinker, Elle. *Heartv*

Damiana Matrix SPR

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53
53
Review of Courage  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Stellar. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Likes *Checkg*

I'd never heard of this person before. *Blush* I'm not involved in a community presence. I had to look up her name and read. Thanks for expanding my knowledge.

An acute example of bullying and rising above. Unfortunately, such is the plight of any celebrity in the light.

The poem demonstrated her tenacity while beset by those who blow out others' candles to make theirs glow brighter. I hope their eyes cleared for more than a moment.

The second stanza impacted me the most, particularly the first line. 'Empty hands'. That's exactly what should be done. Kill them with kindness. Show strength by forgiveness and acceptance, despite the cruel taunts.

Your poem emphasized her amazing abilities without mentioning the disease she suffers from.

Suggestions/Questions *Questiong*

I like to see a 'balanced' poem. The last line in the first stanza was the only one of that length.

Because you wrote 2014 at the top, I wondered if she had died. I looked it up. Amazingly, she has not.

What do you think of leaving out the parentheses in the second stanza third line? It looked out of place.


Final thoughts *Thinker*

Thanks for writing an encouraging poem and sharing the inspiration you have for you. She's indeed a courageous woman.











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54
54
Review of Hiding Place  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Steph. I found your story using the read and review option.


The hook
The title could have meant anything, and the brief description narrowed the field of possibilities.

Overall Impression
I only had to read the first line before entering your realm. Right from the start, the scene is painted, and the reader knows the character is running for his life. From a direwolf!

The short sentences contributed to the urgency of this chase, and the verbs you chose and variety of words (no repetition here) impressed me as my curiosity drove me forward. I felt as if I were running with Bronn. He was familiar with the territory, honestly, I could see it in my mind, and this creaked open a door of hope. Then a boar entered the chase, adding more danger and urgency.

Special Moments
I liked the idea of not identifying the character by name until the close of the story. It was unusual and had a dramatic effect.

Closing comments
I fought for Bronn right to the conclusion, even though it was forgone.

You don't need me to tell you what an exceptional author you are. These words came from your inner being. Impressive!




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55
55
Review of turn Up  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Winded. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

What I'm about to write is the weirdest beginning thought I've ever, well, thought. Although the 'prose' made no sense, the explanation did. You see, I meditate daily to help me through emotions and rid myself of trapped toxins.

I've tried to write out a few, but, same as you, they make no sense to others. Don't let that stop you, as it stopped me. Also, I rarely remember what happened in the meditation.

I wake with a feeling of peace, wishing the meditation surpassed the one hour mark. It's odd. Every single time, I wake after an hour. I sense the moment I'm about to snap out of it and try to extend the time, to no avail. Is that what the title turn up means to you?

It's cathartic to write, and when you have that gift it's a blessing. We can work through problems, no matter what form they take.

I have one suggestion. Depending on how you feel, you may want to set this to 'email comments' or 'review w/o rating. This will also help the reviewer, because I definitely don't want to rate what you've written here. Your words are wise, you're aware of more than you think.

Some reviewers take off a half star 'just because' there is no perfection in the world. I can't do that. I've nothing to offer as a suggestion. I've only encouragement to keep on writing. *Smile* Oh, and welcome to WdC! Most members refer to the website as a second home. I hope that happens for you.











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56
56
Review of Mr Adamson  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Poetry. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

You've composed a beautiful piece of poetry, obviously personal to you. The rhyming pattern flowed smoothly. The rhyming words unique.

What I didn't feel (probably because this is personal) was any connection to the words, other than the first and last stanza. We're on this planet for merely a wink, even though we measure the experience in years. And that's why 'writing ones name in the sand' struck a chord in me. So swiftly we vanish.

I did feel your pain at the loss of Mr. Anderson. You nearly broke my heart. His gift was his music and he continues 'living' through you every time you sing what he wrote. What a beautiful tribute. Singing is a spiritual experience, how ever a person perceives it to be.

There's really not much more to say, other than to express the grief I feel for you. My sister lives on through my memories, and memories of other people. I idolized her. After she died I couldn't cry over anything for ten years.

I hope you find peace. Grief is a process. Don't fight it. You have the gift of writing, and surely that will help you through this tragedy.


~ Nixie














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57
57
Review of A New Look  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there, Hullabaloo! Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Yikes!
You really had me confused and guessing as I read this short personification. My best guess was a robot, of all things. The lines in between the dialogue had me puzzled, as well. And where were the quotation marks and dialogue tags? Silly Nixie. It's personification, done up to a T. *Checkg*

Spoiler alert
I consider Smart phones dumb. The features make no sense, and I can never quite figure it out. Especially after an upgrade, or a warning that the system I'm using will no longer be supported. I guess that makes smart engineers too clever.

Huh
Like I said, it took a while to figure out who was talking. I wondered how shattered could have a little effect. Shattered is a strong verb.

Most favored moment
The comment about slimming colors really set me off on a laughter binge.

The cold logic
What a shame. This Smart phone doesn't know it will have to be replaced. Eventually, the software is outdated and no further updates are available. Typical for our throw-away society. *Rolleyes* We have to have the new 'bright and shiny'. When it's affordable!

IN the end
Thanks for the read. Personification is one of my faves. I wonder why that technique never pops up in my writing anymore. Hmm. Maybe you nudged me in that direction. *Smile*

~Nixie






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58
58
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Snow. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

From the top
Ick. I've been a Vegan since 2004, and the thought of eating meat, much less having to kill it, sickens me. My mom''s told me stories off cutting off chicken heads and watching them run around...

Extra oomph
The comedy throughout the story lent extra impact to the plot. Aunt Gertrude was, obviously, the best character, playing off of Patricia. I liked how you included Patrica's full name to show emphasis. Because that's what elders often do. And then Patricia turned it around, using Gran's full name, with Gran using only Patricia's first name. And Gran replied with an expletive, turning character traits around, again. Nice touch.

Too funny, casting George as a human and not a dog.

Lapse of attention.
George didn't bit(e) Granny on purpose.

Written this way, it makes more sense to me. No change in verb tense.

He paid her hospital bill and for the rabies shots, which I don't (didn't) think were (was) necessary."

A stray thought
Of course it's the author's choice, but I prefer italics to full caps that 'show' emotion.

Wrapping it up
Perfect conclusion that made me laugh. Thanksgiving guests can be so annoying.




Reading your work was


My Pleasure tks.

~Nixie
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59
59
Review of Tied In the Back  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bill. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Clever title. *Checkg*

Overall impression
Nicely done! I can't imagine anyone with a hospital story who cannot connect with your limerick. I got a big kick over the line about visitors dressed to the nines. My way to avoid this embarrassment, never tell anyone I'm in the hospital, unless it's an emergency.

Personal connection
One time I broke my foot and after casting got dressed to leave, not thinking much about that open back. In the car, I found a large shirt and wore that over everything. Little did I know the back was still open. And guess what? No one even noticed. (I had to drive to the pharmacy to pick up the RX). Or maybe they were too polite to say anything. As usually happens, it's a story I can laugh about now.

Feelings evoked
Ugh. What a loss of dignity. I understand the reason for the open back, but seriously that's the best solution? To humiliate prisoners patients? The baggy paper shorts aren't much fun either. (That happened when I broke my hip).

Saying goodbye
Such success in getting this large of a reaction from me. I like it when a reader connects to something I write, and that certainly was the case here. Writing about 'normal' experiences can prove to be an anchor. And, I've never even tired to write a limerick. So, I'll have to guess that the format was correct. *Smile* Thanks for the read, the memories evoked and the smile on my face.






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60
60
Review of Percy  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi LK. Nixie here. I found your item via random review. Welcome to WdC! I see you've jumped right into the water, not unlike your penguin. A difference here, though. You'll receive a warm reception , regardless of your appearance. *Laugh*

From the beginning
My main point here is type out the old adage. "More is less." That means practicing word economy and making every word count. In a world where reviewers have thousands of items to choose from, you want your best to shine through.

A closer look
Don't get me wrong. This is a cute story and it made me smile. Here's a few hints to help get your writing in high gear. The first line of a story should grab a reader's attention. Introducing the character and conflict will do that. So rather than all the explanation in the beginning, why not start where the story starts? You'd have to add Antartica > you need to correct the spelling > Antarctica needs to be included to establish your setting. So, your story really begins with the third sentence. *Wink*

Hmm.
I'm not a fan of onomatopoeia, and the persistent use of it distracted me. Remember, more is less.
waddle-waddle TRIP{/i}, waddle-waddle-CRASH,and of course...waddle-waddle KLIUNK!
Can you show this to your readers?

Examples
Another example: Also, close out this with quotation marks. I make that mistake frequently, especially if I'm rearranging dialogue for effect.

HAR! HAR! HAR This sticks out in your story, drawing too much attention.

Oops

*Right* Rather than use {bold} and {/bold} you mistakenly typed {b}TRIP and closed with italics. {/i} Not a huge deal, except the rest of your story was italicized. It's an easy fix. *Wink*

Formatting
*Star* Excellent job formatting, good spacing and plenty of white space. Rather than a block of text, you've made this an easy read. (other than mistyping that led to italics.) Readers are more likely to take an interest in formatting like this.

In closing
The end fell flat. Remember to avoid (ly) words, especially in dialogue.
Penolope's comment could be consolidated to > "You beast, Penrod. You're the reason Percy left." Maybe she can smack him with a flipper to show anger. Just an off-the-cuff suggestion.

Penrod's answer seemed off. It would make more sense if he used a fitting adjective. You've already used several to show awkwardness for a description, so you'd have to work on that. Neither does it make sense to me that Penrod would speak with an exclamation point, followed by a shrug. You really don't even need that last sentence.

Seriously, I talk too much.
Okay, I can tell you put your heart and soul into this story. *Heartb* I sensed the loneliness and isolation of Percy. What a shame Penelope wasn't able to help him. He sure did get bullied, which also happens to humans. You effectively made me angry over his treatment.

*Pencil*
You need a little practice and some editing. A second pair of eyes helps. You'd never believe the mistakes I've made in my years here.

Reading and reviewing
I learned a lot by reading and reviewing. In fact, some of my best writing pours from me after reviewing. I connect with the author or the character, and find myself telling my own story. I suggest everyone read and review. It's one of the most important aspects of WdC.

So, maybe it sounds like I'm being hard on you, but really I'm encouraging you to do your best. *Smile* Do not ever stop writing. We only get better.

I hope you continue to enjoy your writing endeavors here. We have lots of resources to assist, and I'd say the majority members are always willing to help.

At last, the real end
Good grief! Last words and I'll leave you alone. I only type reviews of this length when the story interests me. I probably overwhelmed you. Sorry about that.

Keep on writing. Don't let anyone or anything discourage you. *Bigsmile*






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61
61
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Wakeup! Nixie here. I found your item via random review.


A comprehensive review for a fabulous book I read years ago. *Star*

You did a fabulous job presenting this review, without giving away all the magic. Your approach was well-ordered and sensical.

The presentation alone was a draw for me. All the formatting was correct, and I found no areas that distracted me. As long as parallel plots make sense, it's one of my favorite type of stories to read. In the way back, I read The Winds of War written by Herman Wouk. His style was masterful and frustrating. At the exact climax of one plot, the next chapter reverted to the second plot line. Both were equally fascinating stories.

I've also read All the Light We Cannot See. That was years ago, and I only remember the part about the blind girl, mostly how her father taught her to see. Your insights into the author's intention (not judgmental) were crucial to the review. Werner's story was also detailed without judgment. One wonders how Hitler entranced his soldiers, and this is one example of an innocent turning the wrong way.

The words (catapults) and (history) need to be capitalized in the title.

I wonder, now, if this particular novel led me to my current outlook on life, although it changes all the time. There's much more to the world than what we see with our eyes. Sometimes I see the spaces in between. I've absolutely no doubt that most of the world is invisible due to humanity's limited perceptions.

*Cherry* The cherry on top? You demonstrated how a novel can change a person. Our thoughts expand when we discover books such as this one. Excellent summation of a complex book.







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62
62
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Kieran. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Cute children's' story that made me laugh. *Heartv*

I like how you vividly describe the scene as it expands to include a whole lot of neighbors, and even some animals. Wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a community like this?

Is it essential to the story to begin with Claire's age? Does it add anything to the plot? At least not in the first sentence, which should be the attention grabber. Can you show her age in another way, or mention it somewhere else in the story? I'm struggling myself, trying to think of how to add that somewhere. The reader needs to know her age. *AsteriskO* see below.

Consider editing this story, as there are misspells and other grammar issues. What distracted me the most was the lack of spaces after commas. Create diversity and avoid repetition by finding another word for 'pulled' and 'grabbed'.

The adjective (enormous) in the title demonstrates your ability to find words that impact. I keep a thesaurus bookmarked for assistance. Avoid words like (just) as they have no meaning.

Good job completing the story arc. I wondered what Charlotte (I think that's who was speaking) meant by reading her kids the turnip story. It seemed truly out of place until the last line of the story. *Checkg*

I would love to see this in a picture book for little kids. They'd surely find laughter and curiosity as the scene unfolded.

*AsteriskO* (An added bonus, they'd see how old Claire was in a picture.)

Adorable write that only needs a bit of polishing.








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63
63
Review of Lost  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Connie! Nixie here. I found your story via random review.

It's so embarassing when I have to say my first reaction is 'aw, that's so sweet'. *Blush* *Heart* But that's exactly what I said, out loud! Good thing I'm alone.

I absolutely loved the descriptions and mystery painted here. Every vision the narrator saw formed an image in my head. Even though I couldn't see the setting, your words showed me everything.

You had me worried about what may be happening to this woman (girl). Her reactions drew me closer to her as a character. The descriptions of what others were wearing and where they were standing completed the scene. I did worry about the little girl and the dad hushing her. By then, the conclusion seemed clear. Either the woman was dead or dreaming.

I found no wasted words, just a tight read that was a pleasure to indulge in. The spacing made the plot easy to read. (All these years later, now we know not to indent the first paragraph.) No way am I fixing all of mine! Besides, for every rule there's an un-rule. *Laugh* Standards change with the times.

Well, blow me over, or push me off the swing. What a delight to read the conclusion. I clicked on the link you provided. You did a marvelous job of expanding the scene. The narrator must have been entranced by the painting. What a lovely thought. I'll have to try that sometime.

Great read, as always. *Heartv*





Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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64
64
Review of Money  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Bold Attitude. Nixie here.


*CakeB* HAPPY 1st WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Overall Impression
This was a tough read for me because I have strong opinions about what money is. For me, it's a state of mind. Those with lots worry about losing it, those with little worry about paying bills. I'd rather worry about losing it. Economic inequality creates diversity. It's really all so silly, but it's the system we use, and as you point out here, it's a way to judge.

A couple of questions.
In the second line did you mean (disperses)?
The fourth line feels incomplete. As if (in it) is missing.

And when it leave it doesn't campaign
(leaves) I missed the meaning of (campaign.)

Does 'money in the bank' mean investment portfolios? Or simply a daily balance? Unless the person tells another, there's really no way for someone to judge them. Many people with lots of money choose a simple life. So even if a person is living modestly, the wrong conclusion can be drawn.

I will agree with you on this point. Money, especially when we're indulging in 'online retail therapy' (lol- a consequence of Covid) does vanish, and often we are unaware. Sigh. What is money?



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65
65
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Phantom. Nixie here. *Smile*

HAPPY 2nd WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



Excellent beginning line!

I like your title, it speaks the truth. But rather than asking for feedback in the brief description, I'd suggest a real brief description. The poem is obscure, and giving the reader a hint can help.

My best guess is that you're trying to show the reader how the mind can trick us and alter what's really happening. We create our own reality, our choices take us to a destination that we may not like. I often remind myself, 'you chose to create this reality.'The sad part is, I don't know how to change it. We can't solve a problem using the same thoughts we used to create it.

'Mind' is used five times in six lines, which becomes tedious. The verbs didn't make much sense to me. (sound, sane, coin).

I think you have a specific point to make, but it's not coming through with the words being used. (see the parallel?). Since I totally missed the intention of the poem, I have no idea what to suggest to create clarity. I read several other poems you wrote, trying to find one that could express joy for your anniversary.

My usual go to? Read others' work and review it. That's what helps me. Looking at the ratings, I can see other reviewers are having the same problem understanding or connecting to the work.

Keep writing. Don't ever give up. I have some failures in my port. I really need to get them out of there. Sometimes the story never works, and I have to abandon it. I even lose confidence in myself, which only makes my life more miserable. But even clunkers have value, if only to illustrate weak points. *Wink*

New identity for SPR

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66
66
Review of The Shell Game  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi, AJW. Nixie here.

*CakeB* HAPPY 2nd WdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Here I found an unpolished piece about a familiar topic. And I'm not really sure what it's about. No doubt the final line was meant to reveal the mystery, but it still didn't make sense to me. I walked around my office for awhile and decided Brandon was a true magician, not some hokey sham.

You chose first person, which usually helps the reader connect to the character. I didn't make that connection. Also, verb tenses were mixed up. You began in the present and sometimes switched to the past.

Passive verbs slow down a plot. A few examples:

Rather than "Brandon is walking" you could write,
Brandon walks down the streets of (I would change New York to New York City, so the throngs of people who gather makes sense.)

There is a man:
...and spots a man playing a shell game...

and others begin to express anger.
others shout in protest

*Star* I appreciated the larger font, as this makes it easier to read.

How about working on the setting, creating more conflict, and showing us who Brandon is. Now, flash requires all elements of a story, and that's not easy to accomplish in 300 words. Flash teaches us to write concisely, but vividly. Practicing and writing more would help achieve this goal. Another resource is reading and reviewing others.

Please continue your writing journey. You'll only get better.




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Overwatch Guardian


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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67
67
Review of Trash Cats  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Laurie. Nixie here.


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



*Vignette2*
From the top
An intriguing title and brief description. I glanced over all the items in your port and deducted this was the literary home of offbeat author. Mostly, the stories were written in the horror/scary genre that I avoid at all costs.
I was warned, far in advance, by the cover images, lots of scary stuff lurked here. You've created a beautiful space for others.

So...total confusion reigned as I began reading. You certainly know how to 'paint' an idea with words. I struggled to see how all of this would fit together, enjoying each line as I read.

*Vignette2*
Emotions evoked
This review may come out a little rough. I'm not always reflecting in order of the lines. Many thoughts came to mind. Kris Kristofferson's Rain started playing in my mind while reading the mud-puddle part. However, that provided no answers that echoed the theme of the poem. And somehow, roaches sprouting wings became something beautiful. And then, for some reason, the song Sound of Silence sprang to mind when I read about concrete jungles. Specifically, the line "and the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls." Performed by Simon and Garfunkel.

Most likely, none of that makes much sense, but the words both puzzled and enraptured me. So I put the words to something familiar, songs.

*Vignette2*
Wrapping it up
You slammed me with the last stanza. The big ah-ha. Why didn't I see it coming? An awesome write by a unique writer. I hope many will read this review and stop by to see what the heck I'm talking about, because everyone needs to make their own discovery and draw their own conclusions. *Star*




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68
68
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Tuli. Nixie here.

HAPPY 3rd WdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



Authors try to grab an audience with a title and/or brief description. The title sounded like a familiar song, and I was intrigued by the notion of a poem leading to a novel.

Dark as the subject was (usually not my favorite genre) I fell prey to the rhythmic pattern of your words. Each line drew me further into the something blind to me. Was this real? Or the narrator's story?

I absolutely marveled at the way you put the words together. At first glance, I thought the poem would be an easy read, or, pardon me, something ordinary. What a surprise as the words fell one onto the other, opening the scene up, enhancing the feeling of dread. I felt as if I were walking beside this person, looking up. Until I reached the end and concluded this poor fellow was truly done.

I read the last stanza several times because it impressed me so. The thought process comes to an end, especially as expressed in the last two lines. Fantastic write. I wonder if you ever started that historical novel?



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69
69
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi merskin. Nixie here to celebrate the joy you discovered in (or son one hopes, ten years ago.


*CakeB* HAPPY 10th WDdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Baretree3*
The Hook
I definitely fell for the title and the brief description, which is your first chance to snag a reader.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
We can call it magic, or shades of people dead, but I agree, there's something far beyond than what one can see with their eyes. Music is magic. it's there in the lyrics, the harmony, the beat, whatever calls us into another realm, displacing the banal, transposing who we are, at least for a few moments. Excellent parallel to demonstrate your point.

I'd never really thought about the lasting effect of reading, other than books that enlighten the mind, or help enhance our perceptions. But, you're right. It seems so obvious, I'm surprised it never occurred to me.

The personal introduction about being crazy many not be needed. The opening line could be "I believe in magic."

Consider using a larger font. Otherwise, the formatting worked.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
Everything and everyone is connected in this place we call space, or outer space. We may not feel the pull of another, but it's there. Surprise, surprise, open a book and there's the other person.

On a personal note. My sister died in 1983, yet her spirit was/is strong enough to assist me in writing my novelette. I couldn't have done it without her presence guiding me.

You certainly got my attention. Well done. A four star because this could be a tighter read, expressed with more concise thoughts. Overall, well done!



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70
70
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


*CakeB* HAPPY 13 WdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



Overall Impression
A cute story kids can relate to. Although the piece was primarily dialogue, the setting was established. I feel bad for kids like this, in their minds the threat is real. Most likely, something in their life is 'wrong', maybe bullying at school or an abusive home environment.


Thoughts
Kids can't often face the real problem in their lives (bullying at school, or an abusive home). They transpose their fear into something understandable to them. And closets are creepy if you forget to shut the door. It's a fairly common theme. Even as a result, this brings back my fears and memories. Good job communicating that.

I like how his big brother has given advice that worked for him. It reinforces the sensation that something really awful is happening in that household.

One consideration would be to describe how the carpet felt between his toes, to solidify the setting.

In closing
This wasn't a wow, bowl me over piece, but well done for Flash. That's a tough contest. All story components must be present, and the dialogue shortcut often works well within those parameters.

Thanks for the read. *Smile*

beautiful in thought and visual

Nixie
Overwatch Guardian

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71
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Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Cissy. Nixie here with an early wish for you.


*CakeB* HAPPY 13th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



*Baretree3*
The Hook
Before I begin, let me say this is one of the most interesting stories I've read in a very long time. The originality was refreshing. And the tenderness in the relationship warmed my heart.

Several items in your port caught my attention. It wasn't easy to choose. However, the final choice came down to this one. I liked the title and the brief description. I have a habit of skipping to the end of a story, and what I read there encouraged me even more to write. Absolutely fascinating.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
The plot was tricky to follow. I understood all your mom's vocabulary, but no lines separating dialogue caused the issue. The punctuation was off, not all sentences had correct quotation marks. A larger font would have been great, no squinting while reading. *Laugh*

A bit of repetition frustrated me. I'm specifically pointing out lots of 'she's up to something', when the reader already knows that.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
I fell in love with your mom. Simple as that. And I could relate to you, also (assuming this is non-fiction) because I have those days when I never want to get out of bed or off the couch. Neither do I spend time with people. Guess I'm a loner. But I can motivate myself most days.

How captivating to see your mom on a night out. Nothing in the title or brief description hinted at the sparkling gem that is this story. She's a woman of mystery who revealed herself for your benefit. I can't imagine a more quixotic method to get you up and out. And the twist. She didn't ask you to do a thing (something you were dreading). Only watch. I loved her even more, she brought joy to so many. What an inspiration.

*Baretree3*
A closed book= a lasting impression
I hope you don't think my attachment to your mom is weird. Your words conveyed this special feeling. Be proud of that. I'm not crying the 'mommy don't love me blues' but my mom wasn't so great. She tried her best. She's 93 now, and a changed woman who does inspire me.

I liked the analogy of the light bulbs. I'd say (about my mom) 'a person can't expect 100 watts from a 50 watt bulb.'

Thanks for writing this wonderful story. You've brightened my day. And I won't forget this feeling, either. *Heart*



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72
72
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Intuey. Nixie here with an anniversary review. I know it's early, but anniversaries last all month, not a single day.

HAPPY 18th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



Well, after 78 reviews you certainly don't need another. Sorry, but I had to see what all the excitement was about. 78 reads? That's extremely impressive. After reading your tale, I understand why. Other than a few slip-ups, the story ran smoothly. Most confusing was the transition from her yelling to her getting up from bed. I'm sure it's been mentioned before.

The good stuff.
Too many twists and turns to resist reading this all the way to the end. First person POV puts the reader right into the story. It's the best POV for this write. A lot would be lost without that first hand experience.

I like how uncertain I remained during the read. I couldn't decide who was the good character and who was the bad one. It's clear from the beginning that Diane is the looney, psychotic one, but I kept holding out hope. Don't ask me why. I mean Brian himself was a dark character. Ruthless to the end.

Great job showing the car scene. It was both scary and vivid. Both the plot and the characters drove (no pun intended) the story. Usually, it's one or the other, fascinating how it played out. In the end, I have to admit Diane's the nut-cake. Why did I want it to be Bryan? Probably because the guys are always the jerks when I write. lol

Happy incredibly early anniversary! *Partyhatr*

~Nixie





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73
73
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Alexandra. Nixie here.

HAPPY 20th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



Wow, you're only one year shy of being a member when this site first began in 2000. I hope you pop back in for your anniversary. But sometimes we have to move on. At any rate, you'll have a review to read.

I wish your bio was filled out. It may have answered some questions I had about the simple basics being incorrect. If you'd ever like specifics, feel free to email me. One sentence states he doesn't love his brother. That's definitely a misstep.

The beginning sentence was tender and loving. I've lost too many loved ones, but never a kid. And how does one explain death when they ask? Liam's actions and dialogue fit with the how a kid would talk and what their feelings would be. Well done with that part.

This story would look much better with tighter spacing. As it appears now, the flow is lost. Also, look at how many sentences begin with 'Liam'. The feelings are there, but the execution failed. Some of my stories just don't work. Maybe the same is true for this story.

Well, happy anniversary. You have a lot to offer once you get the basics straightened out. *Smile*

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74
74
Review of Two Empty Windows  
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Erika. Nixie here.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



Dang, woman, you know how to write. (Nice, Nixie, that sounds really professional.) *Laugh*

Okay, no more laughing. But the first sentence I wrote is the one that fell from my fingers. Considering the various scenes and sounds in your poem, I'm guessing the setting is in a hospital.

At this moment, I'm watching a man fish from a dock, and imagining the sinker at the end of the line is my heart dropping off after absorbing the beautiful darkness of your poem. That's not exactly the proper response either. I don't mean any disrespect. The pain in your words is too evident. You've painted a picture that makes me grimace, especially the last stanza.

Although every phrase is precious, my favorite is the last line of the second stanza. Okay, I can't claim just one favorite, but that line reminded me of my dad. Enough thinking about his death, for me.

You see, I often think about the triteness of life, how little it matters in the grand scheme of things, whatever the heck that is. My thoughts seem to echo with your first stanza. This odd out-of-place sensation that is my reality. And I'm only dying in the abstract sense, as we all are dying, every day.

I really hope I read this correctly, especially since it's a review in honor of your anniversary. 2012 stretches back to infinity. Where are you now? Has your reality changed? After reading your bio, I understand you're not as active as you once were, but you left this poem here for me to ponder. Thanks for that.

Be well,
~Nixie




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75
75
Review by Nixie 🦊
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dreambeliever. Nixie here. First, I'd like to say, I"m sorry for your loss. Hollow words, yes, but still heartfelt. *Heart*

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews*CakeB*



I've never believed in soul mates, nor do I have confidence in love. My relationships have all been, uh, awful. I seem to attract the same kind of guy. The kind that likes to hurt or debase. For me, the best choice is to stay alone.

But then I come across a poem like yours, and I'm flabbergasted. I'm exalted, just knowing these feelings and relationships do exist, rare though they may be. I'm reassured that somewhere,somehow, a couple can live and love together.

Your entire poem, every word and thought, touched me in the dark place inside. I'm not expecting to see a difference in how my life plays out, expectations are not a good thing to harbor. Let's just say I feel better, yes, even in your grief you've shone a light.

From experience, I can say the loss, perhaps, becomes easier to bear. But the emptiness inside remains as a void.

It sounds like you've been married for a long time. That's marvelous. When my dad died, my mom's personality improved. She no longer had to worry about him. Sixty-eight years of tumultuous love. She misses him dearly, but no one can know exactly how another feels inside. I believe he was her soul mate, even though the relationship was difficult on the siblings.

Sorry I blabbed on. I'm sad that this poem is being reviewed for an anniversary of membership. I wanted to celebrate with you, but you've touched my heart, so that hopefully compensates for the juxtaposition.

Be at peace. *Heart*

~Nixie




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