Nixie here to drop off a review for the activity above. I'm preparing a French Creme Brulee.
By Hook or by Crook
I didn't realize how much of a 'pick me up' I needed until I read this piece. First the perplexing title, which the mind might fill in, unintentionally, Hide and Seek. the brief description draws attention back to the title, and you've capture your reader.
Competition pieces are incredibly difficult to write. After reading this one, and noticing it was never edited, I expect it flowed from your mind as surely as it reads here. What a treat when that happens. For myself, my writing is better under pressure. I'm working on a piece due at the end of this month and it's been edited at least eleven times. No kidding. Granted, I'm writing in a genre never tried before. I'm not entering to win, the point for me is the practice. But the endless re-thinks requiring rewrites, is exhausting. I won't give up, though.
Following George and Mark
Spicy first sentence is the second draw. The conflict begins immediately, which is the most important part when writing with a word count. It's a simple enough plot, a concept that always evades me, but, wow, it's extremely clever. So many excellent plays on words. I especially liked how you tagged 'as they say' after the cliche about the pig.
Both characters were believable and opposite, which created the conflict. I'd be furious with George, but Mark must be a good friend, and seems to take it in stride. The entire part about the super glue had me laughing, which I don't, by the way.
Top it off with the twist, and wa-la!
A big bloop.
Only one big error. Writers don't show emotions in full caps or excessive punctuation. We use our skills to demonstrate emotional reactions by having the character respond to the problem. (You're certain to see which section I'm referring to, as it sticks out like a fire hydrant in the middle of a green field.)
Please, either return to edit that part, or take the knowledge forward to the next story. It broke my heart to see such a fantastic story thrown off balance with full caps and multiple exclamation marks.
There's a few places where the words bump up against each other, incorrect spacing. My suggestion is the same as before. Continue on and remember not to let that happen.
Off I go!
Thank you so much for writing this. Random review surely treasured me today to bring me to this fantastic story. Keep writing, okay?