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Review Requests: OFF
3,224 Public Reviews Given
3,263 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi BSchool. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Say what now? *Laugh*

Outstanding portrayal of a harried woman late for her first day, from start to, well, the grinding conclusion. I can't think of one more mishap to befall her. The coffee, the shoe, the bloody knee. I liked the strong verbs you employed to enliven the story. No need for adverbs to prop up your verbs. I think "pain shot through" got to me the most.

One of my favorite lines was about the worry of the smell of marijuana scenting her clothes. A nice touch, there, for interest.

She was on her way to Homeland Security, of all places!

I really appreciated how you fit all the details in with not very many words. You gave the reader a full setting, good characters and conflict. The resolution? No spoilers here.

Each scene was expertly depicted, and I felt included in the story. I couldn't relate because I've never hard a hard time getting to work. Oh, sure, Nixie. It was getting home, really. The place where I worked backed up to the Kennebeck River. During the winter, the cars iced over, door locks froze, and climbing the hill that led the way home was icy and snow-packed most days. Sorry, I digress.

Security sounded like going through the tortuous process of boarding a plane. It's absolutely ridiculous, and the things they make you do squash any joy from flying. Of course, we can't do that much anymore.

Super-duper weird. Those dudes that jumped the line. We had a good bit of foreshadowing that still did not prepare me for the conclusion. It sounded so outlandish, I more or less ruled it out as significant. Big mistake on my part!

I did get really nervous as Ruby passed all the empty offices. Did the workers suffer the same fate as the one impending Ruby? We have some unscrupulous people running our government (such as it is). Maybe they're not really human. *Laugh*

When I read all the words that had to be included, I thought, the story has already been written. My next thought was, yeah, that wasn't easy. You took the words and wrote a unique story, even though the conclusion seemed outlandish. Why were they allowed past security? And why were they keeping tabs on Ruby? Was she that luscious looking?

Expectations are never a good thing to count on. Great write!


Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
152
152
Review of Lost and Found  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Queen Norma. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Beginning a word restricted item with dialogue cuts right to the chase. (no pun intended.) Immediately, the reader is immersed in the story, watching the girls scurrying around for a guinea pig. Looking over to where the python was would have been my choice, as well.

We had a ball python who ate my daughter's two cockatiels. Truly upsetting, but brother and sister didn't communicate. In his defense, her brother didn't know the birds were not caged, and Champion had escaped his own cage. (Pythons are known for their escapist skills.)

The ferret was also loose, and I couldn't find him, but had to leave for the dentist. What a day. I think that's how it played out. *Pthb*

I was thinking the fourth paragraph would have been more exciting if the dialogue between the girls had kept going, rather than the explanation of the consequences. You've created two characters that are fun to play with. I'd keep them on a running dialogue.

Our guinea pig was the sweetest ever, so it surprised me when the one in the story bit Sally. We had a gerbil once...that's a whole other story.

And ick. I was totally unprepared for the conclusion, even having had a similar experience. But Champion was the sweetest python in the world, for all his escaping prowess. He let all my kids carry him circled around their shoulders. Yikes! I never did that. I do have limits. lol

The poor little piggy. It understood its narrow death escape. I hope Sally never leaves that cage open again. It's in the python's nature to devour, so I can't be upset. Thank goodness piggy lived. Otherwise, I'd be upset all day. *Laugh*






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153
153
Review of Leo Trying Hard  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Ty. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Oh! A prime example of having to read in between the lines. From a few words, the reader hears the story that wasn't precisely told.

The fact that Leo opened one eye before the other was an unusual touch that I appreciated.

My dad was a Marine, and he taught me to make the hospital corners, and I still hear his voice whenever I make my bed.

I really liked how his mom's note played into the scene. (Why was her handwriting childish?) How did this add to the plot? How did she get to work without her car?

A quick snap shot of the neighborhood showed the reader the setting and the family's financial position. *Checkg*

After the first two paragraphs, the images came in short bursts, one sentence per paragraph. I had to read this over a few times before the big ah-ha moment. Nicely done. Only a few sticky spots to clear up. *Smile*






Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
154
154
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Alana. Nixie here. I found your item via random review. Truthfully, I landed on your item 5 times without choosing to review it. So here goes...

Why I chose not to review it. It puzzles me when authors keep all their words on the left, not written out like a stream of consciousness, in this case, or a story. Maybe this item was written on another website and the writing code didn't match. Also, I have so many questions and thoughts in my head, I don't know how to narrow them down.

Why I am reviewing it now? After landing here multiple times, I've had time to think. For me, a stream of thoughts should be spread across the page. Since I wasn't completely confident making observations, I chose this website for formatting information.

Definition and examples  

I think you'll agree (or not) that this should be presented in the format I suggested.

The message came across strong. What a relief for the narrator to be free. My favorite line was 'the rocks skipping over the water'.

My questions. Did the narrator kill the person he/she's referring to?

So I took a trip to my favorite place, a glistening, chuckling stream
Shore nuff’ there you were, carrying out your scheme
Yet I don’t feel haunted, this sacred area is still a dream

How were the two characters related? Friends? Siblings?

I liked the title, but didn't understand the meaning. I laughed when I read even the deer were sneering. Your words are original and inventive, nothing repetitive or simplistic. If only I could have my questions answered, or hear back from you. That would be wonderful. Happy writing!


Damiana Matrix SPR
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 






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155
155
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there queen. Lowly Nixie here.

I enjoyed reading your story about rambunctious brothers with vivid, if limited imaginations. My daughter went through a phase where she wore capes she'd made everywhere. She brushed aside the ridicule. She had and still has a strong personality, not unlike mine.

Okay, back to the brothers. I delved into your world to explore with the boys. It was easy to picture them because your descriptions of the setting were both funny and visual.

When my sister was alive, I worshiped her. Whatever she did, I had to do. Thank goodness I was more mischievous than her, and we never got in trouble. That's how I connected with the older brother. He was so real in his concern for letting his little brother down, all the while hoping Joey would forget. I liked following Charlie's line of thought. He's (was) a good brother. His love shone through the words.

Now, about that magic box. Again, your showing the reader the action kept me engaged. I thought the entire experience was all funny, until the last line.
If you intended to create shock value, it worked. But somehow, I felt the missing father should have been mentioned earlier.

At any rate, a lively read with a flowing plot. Well done.



Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
156
156
Review of Courage  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Stellar. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Likes *Checkg*

I'd never heard of this person before. *Blush* I'm not involved in a community presence. I had to look up her name and read. Thanks for expanding my knowledge.

An acute example of bullying and rising above. Unfortunately, such is the plight of any celebrity in the light.

The poem demonstrated her tenacity while beset by those who blow out others' candles to make theirs glow brighter. I hope their eyes cleared for more than a moment.

The second stanza impacted me the most, particularly the first line. 'Empty hands'. That's exactly what should be done. Kill them with kindness. Show strength by forgiveness and acceptance, despite the cruel taunts.

Your poem emphasized her amazing abilities without mentioning the disease she suffers from.

Suggestions/Questions *Questiong*

I like to see a 'balanced' poem. The last line in the first stanza was the only one of that length.

Because you wrote 2014 at the top, I wondered if she had died. I looked it up. Amazingly, she has not.

What do you think of leaving out the parentheses in the second stanza third line? It looked out of place.


Final thoughts *Thinker*

Thanks for writing an encouraging poem and sharing the inspiration you have for you. She's indeed a courageous woman.










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157
157
Review of Hiding Place  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Steph. I found your story using the read and review option.


The hook
The title could have meant anything, and the brief description narrowed the field of possibilities.

Overall Impression
I only had to read the first line before entering your realm. Right from the start, the scene is painted, and the reader knows the character is running for his life. From a direwolf!

The short sentences contributed to the urgency of this chase, and the verbs you chose and variety of words (no repetition here) impressed me as my curiosity drove me forward. I felt as if I were running with Bronn. He was familiar with the territory, honestly, I could see it in my mind, and this creaked open a door of hope. Then a boar entered the chase, adding more danger and urgency.

Special Moments
I liked the idea of not identifying the character by name until the close of the story. It was unusual and had a dramatic effect.

Closing comments
I fought for Bronn right to the conclusion, even though it was forgone.

You don't need me to tell you what an exceptional author you are. These words came from your inner being. Impressive!



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158
158
Review of turn Up  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Winded. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

What I'm about to write is the weirdest beginning thought I've ever, well, thought. Although the 'prose' made no sense, the explanation did. You see, I meditate daily to help me through emotions and rid myself of trapped toxins.

I've tried to write out a few, but, same as you, they make no sense to others. Don't let that stop you, as it stopped me. Also, I rarely remember what happened in the meditation.

I wake with a feeling of peace, wishing the meditation surpassed the one hour mark. It's odd. Every single time, I wake after an hour. I sense the moment I'm about to snap out of it and try to extend the time, to no avail. Is that what the title turn up means to you?

It's cathartic to write, and when you have that gift it's a blessing. We can work through problems, no matter what form they take.

I have one suggestion. Depending on how you feel, you may want to set this to 'email comments' or 'review w/o rating. This will also help the reviewer, because I definitely don't want to rate what you've written here. Your words are wise, you're aware of more than you think.

Some reviewers take off a half star 'just because' there is no perfection in the world. I can't do that. I've nothing to offer as a suggestion. I've only encouragement to keep on writing. *Smile* Oh, and welcome to WdC! Most members refer to the website as a second home. I hope that happens for you.











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159
Review of Mr Adamson  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Poetry. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

You've composed a beautiful piece of poetry, obviously personal to you. The rhyming pattern flowed smoothly. The rhyming words unique.

What I didn't feel (probably because this is personal) was any connection to the words, other than the first and last stanza. We're on this planet for merely a wink, even though we measure the experience in years. And that's why 'writing ones name in the sand' struck a chord in me. So swiftly we vanish.

I did feel your pain at the loss of Mr. Anderson. You nearly broke my heart. His gift was his music and he continues 'living' through you every time you sing what he wrote. What a beautiful tribute. Singing is a spiritual experience, how ever a person perceives it to be.

There's really not much more to say, other than to express the grief I feel for you. My sister lives on through my memories, and memories of other people. I idolized her. After she died I couldn't cry over anything for ten years.

I hope you find peace. Grief is a process. Don't fight it. You have the gift of writing, and surely that will help you through this tragedy.

~ Nixie














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160
160
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Snow. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

From the top
Ick. I've been a Vegan since 2004, and the thought of eating meat, much less having to kill it, sickens me. My mom''s told me stories off cutting off chicken heads and watching them run around...

Extra oomph
The comedy throughout the story lent extra impact to the plot. Aunt Gertrude was, obviously, the best character, playing off of Patricia. I liked how you included Patrica's full name to show emphasis. Because that's what elders often do. And then Patricia turned it around, using Gran's full name, with Gran using only Patricia's first name. And Gran replied with an expletive, turning character traits around, again. Nice touch.

Too funny, casting George as a human and not a dog.

Lapse of attention.
George didn't bit(e) Granny on purpose.

Written this way, it makes more sense to me. No change in verb tense.

He paid her hospital bill and for the rabies shots, which I don't (didn't) think were (was) necessary."

A stray thought
Of course it's the author's choice, but I prefer italics to full caps that 'show' emotion.

Wrapping it up
Perfect conclusion that made me laugh. Thanksgiving guests can be so annoying.




Reading your work was

My Pleasure tks.

~Nixie
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161
161
Review of Percy  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi LK. Nixie here. I found your item via random review. Welcome to WdC! I see you've jumped right into the water, not unlike your penguin. A difference here, though. You'll receive a warm reception , regardless of your appearance. *Laugh*

From the beginning
My main point here is type out the old adage. "More is less." That means practicing word economy and making every word count. In a world where reviewers have thousands of items to choose from, you want your best to shine through.

A closer look
Don't get me wrong. This is a cute story and it made me smile. Here's a few hints to help get your writing in high gear. The first line of a story should grab a reader's attention. Introducing the character and conflict will do that. So rather than all the explanation in the beginning, why not start where the story starts? You'd have to add Antartica > you need to correct the spelling > Antarctica needs to be included to establish your setting. So, your story really begins with the third sentence. *Wink*

Hmm.
I'm not a fan of onomatopoeia, and the persistent use of it distracted me. Remember, more is less.
waddle-waddle TRIP{/i}, waddle-waddle-CRASH,and of course...waddle-waddle KLIUNK!
Can you show this to your readers?

Examples
Another example: Also, close out this with quotation marks. I make that mistake frequently, especially if I'm rearranging dialogue for effect.

HAR! HAR! HAR This sticks out in your story, drawing too much attention.

Oops

*Right* Rather than use {bold} and {/bold} you mistakenly typed {b}TRIP and closed with italics. {/i} Not a huge deal, except the rest of your story was italicized. It's an easy fix. *Wink*

Formatting
*Star* Excellent job formatting, good spacing and plenty of white space. Rather than a block of text, you've made this an easy read. (other than mistyping that led to italics.) Readers are more likely to take an interest in formatting like this.

In closing
The end fell flat. Remember to avoid (ly) words, especially in dialogue.
Penolope's comment could be consolidated to > "You beast, Penrod. You're the reason Percy left." Maybe she can smack him with a flipper to show anger. Just an off-the-cuff suggestion.

Penrod's answer seemed off. It would make more sense if he used a fitting adjective. You've already used several to show awkwardness for a description, so you'd have to work on that. Neither does it make sense to me that Penrod would speak with an exclamation point, followed by a shrug. You really don't even need that last sentence.

Seriously, I talk too much.
Okay, I can tell you put your heart and soul into this story. *Heartb* I sensed the loneliness and isolation of Percy. What a shame Penelope wasn't able to help him. He sure did get bullied, which also happens to humans. You effectively made me angry over his treatment.

*Pencil*
You need a little practice and some editing. A second pair of eyes helps. You'd never believe the mistakes I've made in my years here.

Reading and reviewing
I learned a lot by reading and reviewing. In fact, some of my best writing pours from me after reviewing. I connect with the author or the character, and find myself telling my own story. I suggest everyone read and review. It's one of the most important aspects of WdC.

So, maybe it sounds like I'm being hard on you, but really I'm encouraging you to do your best. *Smile* Do not ever stop writing. We only get better.

I hope you continue to enjoy your writing endeavors here. We have lots of resources to assist, and I'd say the majority members are always willing to help.

At last, the real end
Good grief! Last words and I'll leave you alone. I only type reviews of this length when the story interests me. I probably overwhelmed you. Sorry about that.

Keep on writing. Don't let anyone or anything discourage you. *Bigsmile*






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162
162
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Wakeup! Nixie here. I found your item via random review.


A comprehensive review for a fabulous book I read years ago. *Star*

You did a fabulous job presenting this review, without giving away all the magic. Your approach was well-ordered and sensical.

The presentation alone was a draw for me. All the formatting was correct, and I found no areas that distracted me. As long as parallel plots make sense, it's one of my favorite type of stories to read. In the way back, I read The Winds of War written by Herman Wouk. His style was masterful and frustrating. At the exact climax of one plot, the next chapter reverted to the second plot line. Both were equally fascinating stories.

I've also read All the Light We Cannot See. That was years ago, and I only remember the part about the blind girl, mostly how her father taught her to see. Your insights into the author's intention (not judgmental) were crucial to the review. Werner's story was also detailed without judgment. One wonders how Hitler entranced his soldiers, and this is one example of an innocent turning the wrong way.

The words (catapults) and (history) need to be capitalized in the title.

I wonder, now, if this particular novel led me to my current outlook on life, although it changes all the time. There's much more to the world than what we see with our eyes. Sometimes I see the spaces in between. I've absolutely no doubt that most of the world is invisible due to humanity's limited perceptions.

*Cherry* The cherry on top? You demonstrated how a novel can change a person. Our thoughts expand when we discover books such as this one. Excellent summation of a complex book.






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163
163
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Kieran. Nixie here. I found your item via random review.

Cute children's' story that made me laugh. *Heartv*

I like how you vividly describe the scene as it expands to include a whole lot of neighbors, and even some animals. Wouldn't it be wonderful to live in a community like this?

Is it essential to the story to begin with Claire's age? Does it add anything to the plot? At least not in the first sentence, which should be the attention grabber. Can you show her age in another way, or mention it somewhere else in the story? I'm struggling myself, trying to think of how to add that somewhere. The reader needs to know her age. *AsteriskO* see below.

Consider editing this story, as there are misspells and other grammar issues. What distracted me the most was the lack of spaces after commas. Create diversity and avoid repetition by finding another word for 'pulled' and 'grabbed'.

The adjective (enormous) in the title demonstrates your ability to find words that impact. I keep a thesaurus bookmarked for assistance. Avoid words like (just) as they have no meaning.

Good job completing the story arc. I wondered what Charlotte (I think that's who was speaking) meant by reading her kids the turnip story. It seemed truly out of place until the last line of the story. *Checkg*

I would love to see this in a picture book for little kids. They'd surely find laughter and curiosity as the scene unfolded.

*AsteriskO* (An added bonus, they'd see how old Claire was in a picture.)

Adorable write that only needs a bit of polishing.







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164
164
Review of Lost  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Connie! Nixie here. I found your story via random review.

It's so embarassing when I have to say my first reaction is 'aw, that's so sweet'. *Blush* *Heart* But that's exactly what I said, out loud! Good thing I'm alone.

I absolutely loved the descriptions and mystery painted here. Every vision the narrator saw formed an image in my head. Even though I couldn't see the setting, your words showed me everything.

You had me worried about what may be happening to this woman (girl). Her reactions drew me closer to her as a character. The descriptions of what others were wearing and where they were standing completed the scene. I did worry about the little girl and the dad hushing her. By then, the conclusion seemed clear. Either the woman was dead or dreaming.

I found no wasted words, just a tight read that was a pleasure to indulge in. The spacing made the plot easy to read. (All these years later, now we know not to indent the first paragraph.) No way am I fixing all of mine! Besides, for every rule there's an un-rule. *Laugh* Standards change with the times.

Well, blow me over, or push me off the swing. What a delight to read the conclusion. I clicked on the link you provided. You did a marvelous job of expanding the scene. The narrator must have been entranced by the painting. What a lovely thought. I'll have to try that sometime.

Great read, as always. *Heartv*




Me with another persona. Am I a spy?
Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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165
165
Review of Money  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Bold Attitude. Nixie here.


*CakeB* HAPPY 1st WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Overall Impression
This was a tough read for me because I have strong opinions about what money is. For me, it's a state of mind. Those with lots worry about losing it, those with little worry about paying bills. I'd rather worry about losing it. Economic inequality creates diversity. It's really all so silly, but it's the system we use, and as you point out here, it's a way to judge.

A couple of questions.
In the second line did you mean (disperses)?
The fourth line feels incomplete. As if (in it) is missing.

And when it leave it doesn't campaign
(leaves) I missed the meaning of (campaign.)

Does 'money in the bank' mean investment portfolios? Or simply a daily balance? Unless the person tells another, there's really no way for someone to judge them. Many people with lots of money choose a simple life. So even if a person is living modestly, the wrong conclusion can be drawn.

I will agree with you on this point. Money, especially when we're indulging in 'online retail therapy' (lol- a consequence of Covid) does vanish, and often we are unaware. Sigh. What is money?



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166
166
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Phantom. Nixie here. *Smile*

HAPPY 2nd WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Excellent beginning line!

I like your title, it speaks the truth. But rather than asking for feedback in the brief description, I'd suggest a real brief description. The poem is obscure, and giving the reader a hint can help.

My best guess is that you're trying to show the reader how the mind can trick us and alter what's really happening. We create our own reality, our choices take us to a destination that we may not like. I often remind myself, 'you chose to create this reality.'The sad part is, I don't know how to change it. We can't solve a problem using the same thoughts we used to create it.

'Mind' is used five times in six lines, which becomes tedious. The verbs didn't make much sense to me. (sound, sane, coin).

I think you have a specific point to make, but it's not coming through with the words being used. (see the parallel?). Since I totally missed the intention of the poem, I have no idea what to suggest to create clarity. I read several other poems you wrote, trying to find one that could express joy for your anniversary.

My usual go to? Read others' work and review it. That's what helps me. Looking at the ratings, I can see other reviewers are having the same problem understanding or connecting to the work.

Keep writing. Don't ever give up. I have some failures in my port. I really need to get them out of there. Sometimes the story never works, and I have to abandon it. I even lose confidence in myself, which only makes my life more miserable. But even clunkers have value, if only to illustrate weak points. *Wink*

New identity for SPR

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167
167
Review of Trash Cats  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Laurie. Nixie here.


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



*Vignette2*
From the top
An intriguing title and brief description. I glanced over all the items in your port and deducted this was the literary home of offbeat author. Mostly, the stories were written in the horror/scary genre that I avoid at all costs.
I was warned, far in advance, by the cover images, lots of scary stuff lurked here. You've created a beautiful space for others.

So...total confusion reigned as I began reading. You certainly know how to 'paint' an idea with words. I struggled to see how all of this would fit together, enjoying each line as I read.

*Vignette2*
Emotions evoked
This review may come out a little rough. I'm not always reflecting in order of the lines. Many thoughts came to mind. Kris Kristofferson's Rain started playing in my mind while reading the mud-puddle part. However, that provided no answers that echoed the theme of the poem. And somehow, roaches sprouting wings became something beautiful. And then, for some reason, the song Sound of Silence sprang to mind when I read about concrete jungles. Specifically, the line "and the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls." Performed by Simon and Garfunkel.

Most likely, none of that makes much sense, but the words both puzzled and enraptured me. So I put the words to something familiar, songs.

*Vignette2*
Wrapping it up
You slammed me with the last stanza. The big ah-ha. Why didn't I see it coming? An awesome write by a unique writer. I hope many will read this review and stop by to see what the heck I'm talking about, because everyone needs to make their own discovery and draw their own conclusions. *Star*



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#1300305 by Maryann


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168
168
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi merskin. Nixie here to celebrate the joy you discovered in (or son one hopes, ten years ago.


*CakeB* HAPPY 10th WDdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Baretree3*
The Hook
I definitely fell for the title and the brief description, which is your first chance to snag a reader.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
We can call it magic, or shades of people dead, but I agree, there's something far beyond than what one can see with their eyes. Music is magic. it's there in the lyrics, the harmony, the beat, whatever calls us into another realm, displacing the banal, transposing who we are, at least for a few moments. Excellent parallel to demonstrate your point.

I'd never really thought about the lasting effect of reading, other than books that enlighten the mind, or help enhance our perceptions. But, you're right. It seems so obvious, I'm surprised it never occurred to me.

The personal introduction about being crazy many not be needed. The opening line could be "I believe in magic."

Consider using a larger font. Otherwise, the formatting worked.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
Everything and everyone is connected in this place we call space, or outer space. We may not feel the pull of another, but it's there. Surprise, surprise, open a book and there's the other person.

On a personal note. My sister died in 1983, yet her spirit was/is strong enough to assist me in writing my novelette. I couldn't have done it without her presence guiding me.

You certainly got my attention. Well done. A four star because this could be a tighter read, expressed with more concise thoughts. Overall, well done!



Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Overwatch Guardian



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169
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)


*CakeB* HAPPY 13 WdC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Overall Impression
A cute story kids can relate to. Although the piece was primarily dialogue, the setting was established. I feel bad for kids like this, in their minds the threat is real. Most likely, something in their life is 'wrong', maybe bullying at school or an abusive home environment.


Thoughts
Kids can't often face the real problem in their lives (bullying at school, or an abusive home). They transpose their fear into something understandable to them. And closets are creepy if you forget to shut the door. It's a fairly common theme. Even as a result, this brings back my fears and memories. Good job communicating that.

I like how his big brother has given advice that worked for him. It reinforces the sensation that something really awful is happening in that household.

One consideration would be to describe how the carpet felt between his toes, to solidify the setting.

In closing
This wasn't a wow, bowl me over piece, but well done for Flash. That's a tough contest. All story components must be present, and the dialogue shortcut often works well within those parameters.

Thanks for the read. *Smile*

beautiful in thought and visual

Nixie
Overwatch Guardian

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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170
170
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Intuey. Nixie here with an anniversary review. I know it's early, but anniversaries last all month, not a single day.

HAPPY 18th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Well, after 78 reviews you certainly don't need another. Sorry, but I had to see what all the excitement was about. 78 reads? That's extremely impressive. After reading your tale, I understand why. Other than a few slip-ups, the story ran smoothly. Most confusing was the transition from her yelling to her getting up from bed. I'm sure it's been mentioned before.

The good stuff.
Too many twists and turns to resist reading this all the way to the end. First person POV puts the reader right into the story. It's the best POV for this write. A lot would be lost without that first hand experience.

I like how uncertain I remained during the read. I couldn't decide who was the good character and who was the bad one. It's clear from the beginning that Diane is the looney, psychotic one, but I kept holding out hope. Don't ask me why. I mean Brian himself was a dark character. Ruthless to the end.

Great job showing the car scene. It was both scary and vivid. Both the plot and the characters drove (no pun intended) the story. Usually, it's one or the other, fascinating how it played out. In the end, I have to admit Diane's the nut-cake. Why did I want it to be Bryan? Probably because the guys are always the jerks when I write. lol

Happy incredibly early anniversary! *Partyhatr*

~Nixie





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Review of Two Empty Windows  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Erika. Nixie here.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Dang, woman, you know how to write. (Nice, Nixie, that sounds really professional.) *Laugh*

Okay, no more laughing. But the first sentence I wrote is the one that fell from my fingers. Considering the various scenes and sounds in your poem, I'm guessing the setting is in a hospital.

At this moment, I'm watching a man fish from a dock, and imagining the sinker at the end of the line is my heart dropping off after absorbing the beautiful darkness of your poem. That's not exactly the proper response either. I don't mean any disrespect. The pain in your words is too evident. You've painted a picture that makes me grimace, especially the last stanza.

Although every phrase is precious, my favorite is the last line of the second stanza. Okay, I can't claim just one favorite, but that line reminded me of my dad. Enough thinking about his death, for me.

You see, I often think about the triteness of life, how little it matters in the grand scheme of things, whatever the heck that is. My thoughts seem to echo with your first stanza. This odd out-of-place sensation that is my reality. And I'm only dying in the abstract sense, as we all are dying, every day.

I really hope I read this correctly, especially since it's a review in honor of your anniversary. 2012 stretches back to infinity. Where are you now? Has your reality changed? After reading your bio, I understand you're not as active as you once were, but you left this poem here for me to ponder. Thanks for that.

Be well,
~Nixie




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172
172
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dreambeliever. Nixie here. First, I'd like to say, I"m sorry for your loss. Hollow words, yes, but still heartfelt. *Heart*

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



I've never believed in soul mates, nor do I have confidence in love. My relationships have all been, uh, awful. I seem to attract the same kind of guy. The kind that likes to hurt or debase. For me, the best choice is to stay alone.

But then I come across a poem like yours, and I'm flabbergasted. I'm exalted, just knowing these feelings and relationships do exist, rare though they may be. I'm reassured that somewhere,somehow, a couple can live and love together.

Your entire poem, every word and thought, touched me in the dark place inside. I'm not expecting to see a difference in how my life plays out, expectations are not a good thing to harbor. Let's just say I feel better, yes, even in your grief you've shone a light.

From experience, I can say the loss, perhaps, becomes easier to bear. But the emptiness inside remains as a void.

It sounds like you've been married for a long time. That's marvelous. When my dad died, my mom's personality improved. She no longer had to worry about him. Sixty-eight years of tumultuous love. She misses him dearly, but no one can know exactly how another feels inside. I believe he was her soul mate, even though the relationship was difficult on the siblings.

Sorry I blabbed on. I'm sad that this poem is being reviewed for an anniversary of membership. I wanted to celebrate with you, but you've touched my heart, so that hopefully compensates for the juxtaposition.

Be at peace. *Heart*

~Nixie




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173
173
Review of What Happens  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi njames. Nixie here.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



What drew me in?
The topic and brief description. Since I don't have any suggestions for improvement, some of this review will be the personal experiences you created with your words.

The simple things
The overall presentation is pleasing. I like the larger, color and bold font. Nice job using the extra spacing for an easier read.

Feelings evoked
My sister died in 1983, at the age of thirty. It came as no surprise, she battled with Leukemia for over a year. The memory is poignant. What's in my head is what remains of her. Often, I sense her, but after all this time, it no longer feels like a visitation.

I idolized her. I followed everything she did. Horseback riding, writing, learning German, singing. She was incredibly talented in so many areas. It's not an exaggeration. Such a waste to lose her.

My ten-year-old grandson recently asked me this very question. What happens after? He caught me so off guard, my answer was, 'I don't know. I've never met anyone who died and could tell me what is was like. *Pthb* How lame.

The loss hurts. How could it not? But it's the memories, and especially the unexpected ones that you mentioned in the last few lines. Your words are eloquent and original. Unique.

And in the end?
I really didn't notice the 'Everyday' at the end. I'm not sure if you intended to separate that so much from the body of the poem. Just asking.

It's important to make memories for those left behind in the vacuum of absence. There's a hole inside me that remains. Filling it with past thoughts helps, but the missing never ends. Not for me, anyway.

Last thoughts
Happy anniversary. Why I chose a dark piece for a celebration is 'off' somehow. What can I say? Not so much that the read was pleasant, more like the effect of the words. That's what I'm applauding, quietly and respectfully. I suspect you have an abundance of 'sorry for your loss' but I'll say it anyway. The words are hollow, I know. *HeartBroken*

~Nixie


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174
174
Review of Syl  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Arakun. Nixie here.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



I tried to find a more recent story, but this one kept calling out to me, so I indulged myself. Your wrote a beautiful story, so imaginative, I couldn't believe what I was reading. Maybe one of the genres could have been fantasy. Except, for the most part, kids books are fantasies.

It's so easy to write the garden was beautiful with lots of colorful flowers. That's not what happened here. You described every color and flower so vividly, I imagined myself walking with Sandy. I really had to work though, trying to reconcile a living statue, who only picks people who do understand and appreciate. Kinda cool.

Oh, I have to interrupt myself here and remark on the relationship between the two sisters. You made me smile with the 'hide and seek' line, and also Sandy knowing exactly why her sister wanted to 'go for a walk.' lol. I've done the same, a billion years ago, of course.

It was easy to love the grandmother, and it reminded me of my grandsons' shock when they realized I had a name other than Nana.

Wow, my comments are all over the place. One often reads about an echoing voice, but I've never heard it described as sounding as if coming from inside a barrel. Clever.

Oh, and the Big Bird's little sister comment made me laugh. What a vivid image. I think I once owned a dress like that. How wonderful for the cherub to see her as a flower. What a miracle to be accepted by nature. That's how I commune with the world. Well, one way. I bet Sandy could communicate because her grandmother did. Excellent story arc.

Imaginative and vivid. You really stretched my brain. *Laugh* Thanks for the read.





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175
175
Review of Night and Day  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Mara. Nixie here. I'm on an exploration for anniversary members I can't remember reviewing. So . . .

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Good grief, it's so obvious why this story won the coveted first place. The words made me hurt everywhere for different reasons. I don't have any friends, other than those I meet here. I had a friend, a lifetime ago, but I moved from Maine to Florida, and that was it. In the way back, there wasn't even an internet.

Using backstory can be a dangerous hole to fall into when writing. You pulled it off brilliantly. The difference between the two girls was shown in several different ways. No telling here! Excellent and vivid word choices added to the sad, engrossing read. It was refreshing to find a story with no mistakes. One I could enjoy (which really isn't the right word) without editing in my head.

Friends for life. What a gorgeous thought. To always have someone there. And it was a bit of a shock to find out that Jewel could appreciate and enjoy a simpler, less elegant life. Both girls were so alive on this page.

I never expected the terrible twist at the conclusion. The words are still running through my head. I had to read that last part three times over, merely to convince myself that my understanding was accurate.

The scenes painted here were perfectly set. If I wrote every passage that made me 'feel' the entire story would be copy/pasted here.

Outstanding write. Inspirational for a reviewer; thanks so much for the read. Here's to hoping your anniversary month is full of delight and joy.





New identity for SPR

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