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3,620 Public Reviews Given
3,659 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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Review of A Moment in Time  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi StephBee Nixie here. I noticed this on the Newsfeed and was curious enough to review the story.

*Baretree3*
The cover art is fantastic! The brief description is cryptic. The reader has no idea who these two characters are, or what their relationship is.

The first paragraph maintained the quandary. In the second paragraph, Emma's dialogue resolved the mystery.

*Baretree3*
When I read about the dusty boxes, I wanted to sneeze. The descriptions were specific and clear. The setting unfolded in my mind. The characters were developed as the plot unrolled.

I felt sad for the mom. I thought Josie was a grandmother, despite having read the second line of dialogue.

That fragility didn't happen to me until much later in life. I was still a firecracker when my kids graduated from college.

*Baretree3*
Antiquing is the best. I spent years of my life poking around different shops in various states. Sometimes I wanted furniture. In my NYS stint, I was on the lookout for antique bottles. I never had much luck. The best bottles were sold on Ebay.

*Baretree3*
Wood wind chimes are the best for sound. They're not too loud, and the sound is natural and pleasant. I like all wind chimes, but I'm partial to the wood ones. And that is how my first reading of the story went. Since there were woods in the background, I automatically added 'wood' to chimes.

“You and dad?” asked Emma.
“You and [D]ad?” Emma asked.

Commas are the plague
paused and rubbed her thin, finger across her chin.
no comma necessary.

*Baretree3*
So, the reader never learns what the mom wanted her daughter to know. Was that intentional? Did it further the plot? That was a lingering wonder.

I enjoyed reading your story and sitting myself down between the mother and daughter. Nicely done.



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Review of Escape Plan  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean Julyishereboom! Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*BookStack*
Once I saw the title, I had no choice but to read this piece of flash. I'm working on a frog story of my own, with a different theme.

*Bookstack*
What I liked the best? The frivolous hilarity and the twist at the end. You made it easy to visualize this meeting, and I laughed when Harry stood on his hind legs. And here's where the mystery popped in. What escape plan would involve mammals? Could this be a typo, I asked myself.

And therein lies the trick. If the audience isn't already invested (I can't imagine that) surely they would continue reading to satisfy their curiosity.

I was thinking that the list at the top isn't required, since the topics are spoken by Mercy as she addresses her friends.

I do hope schools have stopped sacrificing frogs. The stink of formaldehyde is not easy to forget. And the whole project was disgusting. So the adversary was spot-on.

*Bookstack*
With intentions not to spoil the twist, it makes perfect sense to see both those critters in combined action. Outside my windows, I observe the mammal in question, and at night I hear the frogs. The affinity between the two is perfectly natural.

I didn't look at the cover art because it was a dark image. Now I'm happy to have ignored it. The twist would have been nullified.

Great read and loads of fun.



Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
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Review of Seasons  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Detective Nixie here. I found your item via the 'read and review' option.

*Dragonflyy*
In answer to the last stanza, I'd say autumn brings joy to me. Unfortunately, I live in Florida, and can no longer appreciate nature's transitions. This year we had a bit of 'winter' which means for a month or so, the temps hovered around 50 or 60 degrees.

*Dragonflyy*
Now I have to add a funny comment. We had a golden retriever who stole kids winter hats, the ones with the long tails. When the snow melted, the neighbors came to our house to find their missing hats in the backyard.

Now onto the review:

The transition from winter to spring seemed too sudden. We need the sun to melt the snow, and then the flowers can grow. The lines travel from 'under a blanket of snow' to spring. Does my observation make sense to you? Or do you prefer it as is?

One of the drawbacks when using 'read and review' is that I often come across items written years ago. As a reviewer, it's my choice to add suggestions, even knowing the author will most likely not time travel back to years ago.

I always wonder and am possessed to make the same comment. I don't understand why poets capitalize the first letter of every line.

*Dragonflyy*
My favorite stanza belonged to autumn, because I liked the scenery you painted with words. This stanza was easy to relate to. Farmer's Markets are the best for a stroll when the air is cool. I miss autumn leaves swirling.

Good job with the active show.

Nixie
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ned Author Icon. I'm cruising through 'read and review' and chose your item to review.

*Books6*
I'll admit to surprise when I decided to read this, because spiders give me the creeps. And their bites hurt. I've had bites so swollen, it's only after they deflate that I can see the fang punctures.

I'll chalk my decision to read this up to curiosity and an interest in kinship between spider feelings.

*Books6*
The rhyming scheme worked so well, the poem simply flowed, even though my heart was pounding. I once had a red spider dangle in front of me. You've captured that fright with a slight twist of humour that made this poem stand out. A conversation with a spider, indeed. *Laugh*

I also tell any bugs in my house that I live here, and you need to leave. The entire outdoors belongs to you. Why the heck would you choose to imprison yourself.

My one suggestion. There's no need to capitalize the first letter in every line. I won't say more, because I feel like I'm stuck in a trap, always advising the same.

Remember, all punctuation needs to be inside the quotation marks.

I didn't catch the circle of completion until after I read this twice. I was forewarned, but didn't see it.

Try putting yourself in my shoes.


*Books6*
There's not much one can do to a spider. But they don't like peppermint spray, nor do ants, for that matter.

When I first moved to Florida, I knew nothing about the state, or rather the state of the bugs. Palmetto bugs. They are huge with creepy feelers and their outer armament is so tough they crunch if you step on one. And they have super-sonic speed.

Where are my comments leading? We're venturing to the last line. We learned to shake out our shoes before donning them.




Damiana Matrix SPR


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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Nixie here. I found your item via random review. Your wrote an elaborate acrostic!


*BoothB*
Reading about the memories of your dad naturally brought up several of my own. My dad wasn't affectionate, and he was stoic. But the little moments to treasure are sealed in my heart. I think the lack of affection stemmed from his generation. The second verse was in sync with my feelings because it showed us some of your dad's simple actions that left a lasting mark.

The title is lovely and winsome. My one suggestion would be to delete the quotation marks.

All the phrases after each letter were naturally formed. Nothing sounded out of place.

I know what it's like to be alone. That verse 'except on the phone' hit me the hardest. I rarely talk on the phone, it's mostly texts these days. That's okay, talking on the phone increases my anxiety.

As excruciating as the loss is, I appreciated the last line in the acrostic. My beloved ones who have passed visit in my mind. And I also believe we see them in nature. Energy can't be created or destroyed. All that remains is the empty shell of the body.

And, as expressed in the first stanza, the pain is gone. My dad's pain was physical, having been shot in the back during his tours in Iwo Jima and surrounding islands. He had a bad heart to begin with. The man lived with one lung, because the bullet shot up through his back and into the lung. He never developed full-blown Alzheimer's, but the signs were there.

I think many here are aware of the special relationship you shared with your dad. You wrote a beautiful tribute for him.



Dr Who and his Tardis


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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231
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi JCosmos Author Icon. Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Okay, I'm completely befuddled. Sam Adams wasn't a paleontologist, he was a politician. There is no missing link between homo-sapiens and neanderthals. They were two separate species. My comment isn't exactly accurate, but there's no point in delving into the subject as this is a review, not a discussion.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I wanted to review this because I thought maybe it would end up being humorous, though I didn't see how. And why would anyone want to bring back neanderthals? What would be the advantage? Neanderthals had bigger brains, but they were not smarter. And homo-sapiens were (partly) responsible for the extinction.

I can't make any sense of this piece, for the reasons listed above. Beyond that, I don't understand the formatting. Why is there a period after (link) when the thought is ongoing? It would be helpful if the first words in every line were not all capitalized.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The smart thing to do on my part would have been choosing not to review this since all I had were bewildering comments about accuracy and meaning. But no one had reviewed it, and I wanted to know why. Googling for accuracy is crucial in all historical writings. And this is definitely not sci-fi, unless you're making a joke, or purposely twisting history. *Confused* Maybe I landed on a piece in your port that is not an example of your writing proficiency.

All I can say is Keep Writing!
Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
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Review of A-ha  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sue. Nixie here.

I'm still cruising the 'random review' option, and another of your poems came up again.


*Baretree3*
I'm happy my eyes didn't settle on the brief description this time. Had I read it, I would have been deprived of the punch line, that was hilarious.

*Baretree3*
I bet most everyone can relate to this poem. That little itch in my mind drives me insane. The first verse expressed those frustrating times. Words circle in our mind and go nowhere. I especially liked 'slip of the tongue'. This time when I read, a melody played in my head. The lines sounded like lyrics.

*Baretree3*
Okay, you got me good with the first line of the second stanza. It caught me by surprise and made me laugh. My mom forgot my birthday this year, but called the next day. And then, a few weeks later it was her birthday, and my brother's. I thought about it all day long, but never made the call.

I called the next day and told my mom my happy wishes weren't late because I thought of her all day long. She's hard of hearing, and I have to talk super-slowly, but I think she got the meaning.

Too bad the contest only allows for eight lines. Then you could have added 'Whoops!' as a separate line for impact. I've sacrificed one line to fit within eight lines, and it wasn't easy. This activity is likable because it reminds me of how important word economy is.

*Baretree3*
Your grasp on the everyday problems of humans is well-expressed whenever you write. And reaching the reader is a goal worth striving for. My writings can be quirky. Okay, time for me to stop typing. Well done!



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Review of Time for Tea  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sue. Nixie here, again. Your prose was the first item I saw when I clicked the read and review option.

*BookStack*
My tea drinking days are long past gone. I don't think it's because a cup of hot tea splashed my abdomen, giving me a 2nd degree burn. Last week, I ordered Black tea (cold) at a restaurant. Yum. And dare I say camomile tea as a past favorite?

What does a 'good builder's' tea mean? All I'm picturing is someone lifting weights. Maybe a shot of caffeine?

Do you really carry your own supply of tea? This is fiction, but with the 'I' POV, I was wondering. I'd carry my own supply, for sure.

lapsang-souchong tea is one I've never heard of. I googled it and it's a type of black tea. I may have to try that some day. Definitely not hot, though.

*Bookstack*
I didn't detect an overall flow, which is sometimes felt in a freeform poem. I was thinking, what if you broke this into two stanzas of four each?

'Herbal' doesn't have to be capitalized, unless you're making a point. My other suggestion would be to save that period until the last line. The verb 'shudder' made me crack a smile. Now that's a verb put to good use. It added to the levity of the prose.

*Bookstack*
Because this was an activity, and the prose was composed last year, the brief description is no longer important. But I did notice.

Thanks for the trip along the tea lane. I enjoyed the unusual scenery. *Teag*


Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sue. I'm reviewing this story for the activity "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window..


*BoothB* Initial reaction
Besides your story being the next in queue requiring a review, the title was the absolute attraction. (I didn't have to review this. I could have waited for another entry, but you nabbed me.)

*Boothb*Overall Impression
My heart clenched when I read the first paragraph, and I almost didn't want to keep reading. I dreaded the explanation.

Excellent response to the prompt contest. The words fit in without feeling awkward or interrupting the flow. Showing the boy imagining himself as Huck was a brilliant choice. Immediately, a vision appeared in my mind, suggesting innocence. But what terrible cloud was hanging over him?

I rejoiced when he found the feather and then spotted the eagle. Nature sends messages to me frequently. He must be quite the reader because he knew about eagles and their symbolism. I doubt they teach that in school. And then the jaunty little fellow literally stuck the feather in his cap.

*Boothb* Oops
So many people confuse (further) with (farther) I feel obligated to point out the difference—first paragraph. Farther is for distance. Further is for everything else, mainly the passage of time. That's true for this side of the pond, but maybe it's not universal.

*Boothb*That's a wrap
In the last paragraph, another picture was sketched with just enough details to 'see' what Noah did. I was frightened to read what came next. What he saw was foreboding, but what a huge relief that you spared me the details. Triumphant conclusion! I'm worried about the character in your story. If he shows bravado, he may make the situation worse. I felt like Noah was my own, and wanted to protect him from the dad. That's how powerful the plot was.



Dr Who and his Tardis


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, jaya Nixie here. I found your item while traipsing through the read and review option.

*Dragonflyy*
After I read your work, I noticed how many reviews you have on this item. LIkely, I would have skipped over, but it was too late. I was already captured in your dream world.

Fantastic word choices created a unique and engrossing read. It was easy to imagine myself in the very place described. In fact, the prose sounds similar to one of the ways I begin my meditations.

Nature itself is soothing. I rejoice in the spread of a heron's wings, the rippling of the lake where I live, the chorus of frogs singing at night, and the stillness at one A.M. In fact, nature is the only thing in this world that makes sense to me.

Poet's largess: It's not necessary to capitalize the first letter of every line, especially if it's an ongoing phrase.

*Dragonflyy*
Suggestion: Capitalize (Dream) in the title.
(assaulting) didn't flow for me, as it sounds like something violent in my mind.

*Dragonflyy*
What you've expressed here began my reviewing time with a smile on my face. I'm so happy that I skipped reading the amount of reviews. It's my lucky day.

Nixie
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi brom21. Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.

*ZodiacTaurus*
In your portfolio, I was invited to enter your domain. I dream of entering portals and wonder if any truly exist. I'm doomed by my own imagination. So the title drew me in and the brief description was just enough to interest the reader, without divulging too much. That's a fine line and you walked it.

The first paragraph set the scene as a bit spooky and definitely mysterious. Why would Luke be drawn in by it? Even though it's explained in the brief description, the power of the words entranced me.

Aside from the boy's inexplicable temptation, we see the mother objecting, which created a second conflict.

For the next story you write, choose the genres carefully. If this was my story, I'd probably begin with action/adventure, then 'fantasy' and possibly 'children's. It's best not to choose 'other' or 'contest entry'.

This was an interesting tale with too many lapses of attention. Since your story was written years ago, I doubt anyone would go back and fix their errors. At any rate, here's a few that bungled me.
Lapses ▼

*ZodiacTaurus*
I've muddied the waters enough and do not want to carry on with editing suggestions.

*ZodiacTaurus*

The last line completed the story arc in a satisfying way. Who would believe him? Thank you for inviting me into your portal. Keep writing and reviewing to further enhance your skills.

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Mary Ann MCPhedran. Nixie here. I found your item via the 'read and review' option.

*Dragonflyy*
What a lovely poem to capture an experience.

For me, nature is always the answer when it comes to soothing nerves or remembering what really matters in this life. Quiet contemplation and reflection come naturally. Since I'm not fortunate enough to live in the paradise described here, I travel in my meditations.

The vivid descriptions placed me in the middle of the setting. All senses were engaged as I read. I can't say exactly why, but 'bluebell stalk' became my favorite line.

*Dragonflyy*
Generally, capitalizing the first letter of every line bothers me, but somehow it worked here, even when the phrase was ongoing.

*Dragonflyy*
To cap it off? The last two lines ask an existential question. It prompts one to consider life and what we're doing with the gift. Long ago, the song 'Row, row, row your boat' ended with 'life is but a dream'. So why do we take life so seriously? Human nature, I guess. Some rise above and learn to live, and as they say, let live. But one can never truly know another person, because we only see the veneer on the top layer.

Humans are so out of place here on earth. We consume and give nothing in return. When I die and my energy is returned to earth, I hope to be part of nature. Maybe even a bluebell stalk. I see why everyone has rated this five stars. Well deserved.

Nixie
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi John Nixie here. I found your item via random review


*BoothB* Initial reaction
I almost passed by this story due to the presentation. I feel like an album has me stuck in one track, repeating the same song in every review. Readers prefer a larger font and more white space. However, the beginning was intriguing enough to prompt a review.

*Boothb*Overall Impression
My review may end up as a ball of confusion because I assumed this was a personal story. But then I noticed you'd chosen fiction. First person POV, unless indicated somewhere in the story does sound like non-fiction.

No wonder you struggled with the prodding of 'what do you want to be?' Who could be motivated to explore their inner psyche when such negativity casts shade? One 'should' never make comparisons because no two people are the same. That's true everywhere in life. One person's disastrous happening may seem trivial to another.

Whether this story is about you or a character, I felt sad as I read. The emptiness inside of the person was profoundly experienced. Thank goodness for reading. It has saved me countless times, especially when I needed to escape life.

*Boothb* Personal Connection
Due to emotional problems, I had a difficult time in college. (I tended to drink and not study, as well.) I wanted to be an English professor, but life didn't play out that way. I also wanted to be a wife and mother, and that certainly came true.

*Boothb*That's a wrap
The last line was the star in this little drama. Now all the reader needs is more white space and no indentation of paragraphs. Keep writing!



Dr Who and his Tardis


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 👼intuey Nixie here. This review comes from our mutual activity "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.


*ZodiacTaurus*
You wrote quite the explosive first paragraph. From the beginning, the mood was established as nearly violent. This theme continues into the second stanza, taking a break to give the reader a peek at earth's creature's plight. To isolate the difference, consider starting a new paragraph. After reading this again, further adjustments would be required.

I liked the lily pad line the best because it reminded me of something from my childhood.

I was canoeing around the lake where our summer cottage was and paddled down a tributary I'd never explored before. Several lily pads floated there, and I thought about how much my mom would like one. So I plucked it. After presenting it to my mom, I learned they were endangered. Yikes! I googled it, and in some places it is illegal to pick them.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Excellent descriptors and adjectives maintain the rage of the storm. In Florida, I've lived through many. One year, while driving, I saw a triple bolt that lit up the inside of my car.

The negative ions from thunderstorms excite me.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Humans like symmetry, and I'm wondering if this poem can be balanced by making the lines more even, rather than some jutting out.

I like the comparison between the revving engine out of place, the same as the sun's rays. I found one oops here in that stanza.

Sound should be (sounds)

Not every letter of the line has to be capitalized, especially if it's an ongoing (sentence) as it were.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I was plunked down in the middle of this prose, fully immersed from the beginning. Your expertise as a poet shines.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi dogpack saving 4premium+ Nixie here. I've been holding this sonnet in my 'pending reviews for over a month.



*Baretree3*
The reason I chose to read this is because my son had a service dog named Bella. When I read the title, there was no doubt about it. Your work would echo my son's experiences.

Sadly, she passed away a few years ago, but my son's circumstances have changed. His PTSD is dialed down, spare a few exceptions. He laughs and smiles more than when he came home. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see that again. His wife is an angel, a pharmacist for the army. She helped him tremendously, and helped straighten out all his meds. I believe she is the reason for his relative stability, and I've thanked her for it.

*Baretree3*
I considered writing a sonnet, but the requirements stifled me. I struggle with writing something at all, I need no further challenges. However, yours worked out fantastically.

Consider adding a period after the last line.

Comparing a dog to a fine wine seemed 'off' to me.

Was Bella trained to be a service dog, or did you teach her? My son told me formal training costs a fortune. They did okay working things out together. Seems you did, as well.

*Baretree3*
I hope others who read this feel the same way I do. An uplifting sonnet that shows love counteracting the bad is indeed a precious treasure. As is Bella.


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Hustler Author Icon. Nixie here. I found your item via the 'read and review' option.

*Dragonflyy*
Catchy title, but consider shortening the brief description.

For lack of a better word, wow, for your first sentence. It immediately placed me in the setting and established the conflict.

What you've written is almost a metaphor for times today. Whether we're aware of not, slowly we're being forced into compliance. Mostly we keep quiet so as not to offend anyone in our lives. I think like Elara, rebellion is the only way. Wow, I didn't mean that to sound out of line. Your work inspired me, and I saw myself inside myself and Elara.

*Dragonflyy*
This story is a fantastic myth about a heroic woman, and I enjoyed reading as the minutes ticked by. Versions of the same plot have been written over and over again, but we all have our own style and flair.

I liked the way you varied your sentence structures. It kept the story flowing and fancy-free. I was able to indulge myself in a mythological world, despite the shadows of today lurking over my shoulder.

...named Elara lived a life veiled in mystery.
To avoid repetition, perhaps 'lived in a world veiled in mystery'.

*Dragonflyy*
I liked the reality of rebellion expressed here. Yes, it's a triumphant conclusion, but the sacrifices did not go unnoticed or unmentioned. The second to last paragraph was the strongest. That paragraph is the one I will carry forward in my mind. Well done!

Nixie



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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jackiesmuse Author Icon Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I felt for both the husband and the wife. The tension between the two was apparent in the dialogue. 'Phew, and there was a lot going on. The interruptions gave the dialogue authenticity. Especially when a conflict is in play, people tend to cut off each other's sentences.

No way would I ever say 'yes sir' to my partner, unless it was a term of endearment.

*ZodiacTaurus*
For most tasks, I'd rather do the chore myself. That way, if something goes wrong I'm the only one at fault. If my partner was making a mess by putting almonds in a jar, I'd be frustrated, or I might laugh. One time my ex wanted to clean the carpet. But there was a large stain that had to come out.

I wanted to be the only one responsible. He was receptive once I explained why. Anger comes infrequently to me, but watch out if I do get mad.

One point in particular that impressed me. The wife was sensitive to her husband's moods and knew what to say. But even then, it didn't help. 'Velvet voice' was my favorite.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Going forward > a suggestion.
Use all three genre options when choosing. For one thing, 'contest entry' isn't eligible for a Quill. (If you want to think in those terms.) You're also more likely to find your story highlighted in a newsletter if you choose multiple genres. Off the top of my head for this story, I would choose comedy, relationships,and romance.

I realize this was for a contest, but placing the w/c in with the title was off-putting.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The last line was the clincher. *Checkg*

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Louis Williams Nixie here. I found your story via 'read and review.

*Baretree3*
Okay, let me take a shot at reviewing this. My first impression was that there was too much spacing between lines. Who thought that was even possible? The white space actually worked against the plot's flow.

*Baretree3*
The overall gist of the story is a moral conflict. This is demonstrated in the conclusion, but it took a long time to reach that point. Too long. After setting the scene, nothing more made sense until much later. There was nothing quick-draw about the plot.

So much of this story could be edited out and therefore become a stronger read, not a trailing and puzzling plot.

Some hard questions/observations

Why am I saying it took too long to make your point? Because there were too many unnecessary details. The beginning paragraph made sense as it established the chaos in the world, which is more or less relevant, but needs to be shorter.

If something in the story doesn't enrich the plot, it has no place. What relevance to the plot does the artist's need for cheap writing materials add?

The man talking to the artist was a cop? That came from nowhere. And the reader needed to know the relationship sooner than played out here, to keep the writing tight and tense. Even the closing scenes were drawn out, robbing the action of any substance.

*Baretree3*
The artist seemed sort of a hapless dude, maybe worn out by his gift. I wish that had been revealed earlier. His character made sense to me and was relatable.

*Baretree3*
The conclusion that posed a moral question was the gem in the story. It's a quandary many authorities face. Does taking one life justify saving one more? Is the taking of one life less meaningful than killing more? From the wisdom of TV cop stories, lol, I've been given the impression that taking a life never gets easier, but one becomes less affected by it.

I'm happy because the cop tried to spare the artist by not telling him, straight out, that he'd killed the guy. So, there's some good characterization in here.

One way to practice condensing plots is to write for this activity. "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" Open in new Window.. I write out my story, disregarding word count. Then I go back and see what details I don't need. Those details round out the story, and I would include them if I could use more words. That's why I'm saying the contest is for practice.

Wow, I really need to stop typing. I wrote this extensive review because the story has so much promise. I noticed you wrote it without editing. Considering, that, I'm impressed.

I realize you're not going back to edit this, it makes no sense to spend your writing time that way. But maybe it's something to remember for the future. Keep writing.

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Review of Lost on Route 66  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Words Whirling 'Round Nixie here. I found your prose via the 'read and review' link.


*Baretree3*
The title established the overall mood of the prose. In and of itself, it's poetic.

The mystique contained in these words required rapt attention to grasp the entire experience.

This folklore tale held me spellbound. In the first stanza, the reader sees the cohesiveness of a culture relocating. It's not only people leaving the homeland. The last line in the stanza draws the reader to the second stanza where we see how their culture traveled with them. I would almost call it romantic.

Each line flowed into the next, some rhymes were heard in one line. The total effect was lyrical and sweet with harmony, lost as the prose progressed.

*Right* Grand children > Grandchildren (one word), unless that is written correctly for the Irish language.

*Baretree3*
How true that change is the one constant in the universe. How tragic what those changes cost, particularly culture.

*Baretree3*
Even though the noun (Erin) was expressive; I double-checked to ensure that it meant Ireland.

*Baretree3*
My heart was breaking as the stanzas led me to the desolate conclusion. 'Ghosts not getting their kicks' was almost humorous in it's originality.

Fantastic write, with the allure of mystique.


** Image ID #2220773 Unavailable ** Nixie
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Review of Love Bread  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fyn Author Icon Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
There was a fair amount of grappling on my part while trying to think of the best way to express my appreciation for your unique item.

I (loved) how this recipe was represented. In the first line ordinary flour was listed. As I read, I began to see what was happening. Bits here and there, real ingredients were included that made the recipe sound somewhat authentic. Yet, interspersed were pearls of wisdom. My fave was '1 cup of sweet nothings'.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Nothing was ambiguous, as the thought of my mom baking twenty apple pies at once came to mind. When I asked how she did it, my mom said she thought of all the happiness the pies would bring to loved ones.

*ZodiacTaurus*
As the story continued, the different ways to use the 'bread' hit home. You demonstrated deep insight into humanity and covered various aspects. I've never seen anyone write like this before, so this was a real treat for me. The loaf pan bakes for a few years, but the ring pan means a lifetime of bonding. Fantastic analogy.

Also pointed out were the differences in 'taste' as the days pass. The second sentence in that paragraph was wise and warmed my heart. We don't often feel that way on 'sour' days with another person, and it takes great skill to remember your sage words.

I'm fortunate because something as random as the 'random review' option landed me here. The irony is not lost on me. Thanks for giving me a happy start on this bleak day.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi JACE Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.

*Bulletb*
Well, this is a form of poetry I rarely see. I'm eager to check it out. The title and brief description are both clear and concise. Traveling on . . .

*Bulletb*
Well-executed, my friend. The red font used for the first letter of every line complimented the overall presentation. I liked the nice line spacing and enlarged font.

*Bulletb*
This works well for a pep talk, as well as a reminder. Every line makes sense, although I don't agree with all of them. I do jot a thought or two here and there, but mostly I focus on writing down bothersome thoughts before I meditate. (Tidbit Journal)?

'You can do it' reminds me of the old jingle for Nike sneakers. "Just do it." Those words hinder more than motivate me, but they're good to keep in my back pocket. What holds me back? Performance fears? I'm not good enough?

For those flashes of insights, they won't come again. They're in and out of my mind so fast, I'm lucky to catch a paper and pen in time.

'Notice the opportunities' caught me off guard. Good thinking, that I will remember. However, goals are not necessary for me. I either do or do not.

'Resistance has meaning' is a brilliant philosophy, so I'll steal that one from you as well. Addressing fears takes practice and recognition.

'Focus on the outcome' translates for me to 'if you do this now, you can stop thinking about it. And stop feeling guilty for not doing it.' Guilty thoughts are like demons preying on negativity. It's uncomfortable. So? Just go do it.

I've never read the book you mentioned. The title makes me nervous. Our thoughts create reality, right? It's terrifying, and self-actualizing to understand this concept and then successfully internalize it. I'll let you know when it works.

I'm so happy 'I write' landed me on your poem. It was my pleasure to read and comment on it. *Smile*

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~Nixie
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for entry "~ Two Hugs ~" Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Nixie here. I found your item on the newsfeed.


*BoothB* Initial reaction
Because my family is completely non-affectionate, other than those awkward half-hugs, I wanted to know more about your experience.

*Boothb*Personal connection
I was appalled by the cold-shoulder, atrocious behavior of your siblings. The only consolation was that you were half-prepared to be rejected. The heartbreaker was the moment of reunification that wasn't there. At your mom's funeral of all places.

People who carry negative emotions are only hurting themselves. I managed to more or less forgive, but I can't forget. I even told my mom a white lie when she said 'we did have a good relationship, didn't we?' Absolutely not true, but, hey, she's in her late 90's so what was the harm in lying? It also gave me hope that she finally recognized the emotional damage she wrought on all five of her kids.

*Boothb*
My sister passed away when she was only thirty. I have three brothers. One is my baby-brother, my mom's favorite. The second is five years older than me, and mistreated me in awful ways. We don't really keep in touch, but he calls every year to wish me H-bday. Last of all, there is a ten-year span with my oldest brother. He's my fave, and understands me more than most.

Still, due to our upbringing, unless I basically threw myself into his arms, he wouldn't hug me at all. I cast no shade on anyone. We're a product of our upbringing. I'm all for hugs, however.

*Boothb*And in the end?
I wouldn't wish your experience on anyone, especially when you told your siblings you knew you weren't welcome! How devastating. Regardless, you had a rewarding hug in the end, and that is the memory you chose to honor. Good for you. *Heart*



Dr Who and his Tardis


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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Review of The Tawny Tabby  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave!

*Turtle1* *Cat* *Dog1* *Giraffe* *Fox* *Owl2* *Starfishy*
Welcome to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Pet Raid
*Turtle1* *Cat* *Dog1* *Giraffe* *Fox* *Owl2* *StarfishV*


The precious cover art prepared the reader for what was to come.

I rarely involve myself in specific poetry forms, due to the fact that I feel as if the poet will feel undervalued. Especially after crafting their prose with such care.

Today I made an exception, and wow! I finally understood this particular form. Even without researching it. Enough of the technique, although that was the cherry on the cake.

Alliteration is one of my favorite writing devices, so I was right at home with the first stanza. That stanza gave me the impression of a fierce predator, not a cuddly and fuzzy pet. Cats are curious and focused when something befuddles them. Their antics are laughable.

This prose is intense and a great characterization for the tabby. Even with the restrictions (which are not restrictions for poets like you) the prose had an emotional pull. Maybe not the one people associate with most cats. You've presented another side of a cat's personality that not many write about. I feel as if I have to stand up and say, 'hey, cats are okay.'

Overall, I'd say this poem is technique more than something a person like me can relate to. And now I'm tip-toeing away from your poetic expertise and 'hypnotic glare'.


image for pet Day raid

~NIxie


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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Maryann

image for pet Day raid


This was the first poem you ever wrote? How old were you? In answer to your question, yes, I liked it very much.

The interweaving rhyming scheme and word choices held my attention. Mind you, I'm avoiding any 'pet death' references since I lost my baby in December of 2023. I surprised myself when I continued reading, although I had to keep that one door to my memories in my mind shut.

Fave lines
*Heart* 'Enchant my psyche'
...'your soothing purr hypnotizing me.'

The repetition of the last line was particularly difficult to deal with. Again, what else was holding me here, my heart tripping in fear? I wanted to know about your specific experience.

Poor little Penelope was well-characterized. The second and third stanza showed me how special she was. I had a shoulder-rider Tonkinese years ago, and that cat drove me insane, constantly needing affection and attention.

I'm trying to unsee the last paragraph. Death is traumatic, no matter when or how it comes about. Still, I'd prefer a natural death like Penelope's for my cats.

My only other thought is the inclusion of the large image at the end. That's what initially caught my eye. Since the image is nearly eclipsing the poem, maybe it could be reduced?

On a personal note: I thought you only loved dogs? *Laugh*

~Nixie
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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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Review of No Word of a Lie  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Adherennium Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Although your presence on the Newsfeed is chatty, I don't believe I've ever been to your portfolio. I liked the title and the brief description. Between the two, I had a rough idea of what was to come.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The first stanza reminds of a guy's 'same old song'. How many times does a spouse take it seriously before it's too late? Hi protestations are ridiculous, text book, really.

How interesting to divide this into two parts. First the husband 'speaking,' and then the wife. The reader hears both versions of what's happening, which reminded me of an article in my magazine my mom faithfully read, It was titled 'Cam this marriage be saved?'.

The poem finds solid ground in the second stanza, and that's where the magic happens.

My fave line? Your promises are pie crust.

It caught me off guard, due to its originality and uniqueness.

Consider not capitalizing the beginning letter of each line, especially if it's an ongoing sentence. It's a common practice, but also one that bothers me.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I hope the wife learns from her experience, and maybe someday finds a man worthy of her. So many, like myself, become trapped in this type of partnership. And the guys never want to leave me, making the breakup nearly impossible. What does that mean? Low self-respect, and a desire for experiencing true love. I no longer trust myself, so I remain single.

Even if the first stanza isn't unique, your individual way of showing the problem was. Keep writing!


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