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The Hunt

The V V Inn Series; Book 2. Vampires hunt another of their kind at a remote Alaskan resort

The Writer's Cramp

Write the best poem or story in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPS!

You know it's Sci Fi when...

Themes, Elements, and Tropes. Some things that Science Fiction is best known for.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

BLACK RAIN'S GONNA FALL

Black rain is falling in Glen Hartwell, & something shiny and deadly is hidden in the rain

A Game of Chess

Activities and Writing Contests entries.

Flowers of the Field

A visit to hallowed ground.

Monochrome

story from song, Babymetal

READ A NEWBIE

Somewhere

A poem about somewhere, but you can't find it, without doing something.

The breathless hearts descent

"A soulful Rumi-esque ode to surrender: A heart drowning in love

Nicole

Poetry Name Nicole how I meet this girl hopefully it inspires you like my high school days

~Sojourn.

Embracing trials as catalysts for soul growth, inner transformation, and eternal freedom.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Poor Witch: Chapter 1

Mildred meets a flagpole. The little witch's broomstick is down to five bristles!

Writings in the Sand

Thoughts destined to be washed away by the tides of life.

LIFE

It has something to do with my life or with Life itself..

Tickles and Giggles

Primarily a foot-fetish oriented interactive story with various anime characters

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9

StephBee

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#4755976

Review of Cloud Chatter

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A low level cloud watching a baseball game finds an unusual cloud hanging low.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the creativity and imagination used in this flash fiction. Not only that, the character voice is spot on. I smiled the entire time I was reading this.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Fiona's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue drives the story.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Rising on thermals, falling with downdrafts, moving in every direction of the compass, until they find an area with enough moisture content to build their cloud persona again." -- This is precisely what clouds do, and I could picture myself hanging out in the stands of the baseball game, looking up, and trying to figure out the clouds out to see if they would rain.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: baseball game

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Fiona

Fiona's just hanging out, just trying to stay moist.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and pulls them into the story. The title fits the story. A nice comical read that will put a smile on your face.

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#4755972

Review of it's coming....

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about autumn and what autumn brings.

WHAT I LIKED

The poet uses a good economy of words in a succinct fashion to visually put the reader in the season. Well done.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion would be to increase the font on WDC to make it easier to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Hay rides, unbridled play" The words here are few, but they're still very visual. If you've ever had a hay ride, you can remember those sensations. The hay is a bit prickly, the air is usually cool and crisp, and an underlying feeling/emotion of fun is there.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. The title hints at what is coming... which words. The title also builds anticipation. I enjoyed the progression of the poem as it progressed much like the season.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4755970

Review of First drum set

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is about a boy with a drum set.

WHAT I LIKED

This is a very visual poem. I could picture a boy banging away, smiling, and having a blast.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no set rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to augment the visual aspect of the poem.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: Rat-tat-tat and a boom-boom-boom, crash-crash-crash cacophonous tunes" This phrase/line brings to life the banging on the drum. It's not only visual, but it's very auditory.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and makes them want to tap with their feet. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I love how the poem sounds when it's read outloud. A fun, playful read that captures the spirt of a toddler.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4755771

Review of Turtles in Love

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A sweet poem about two turtles who might actually like each other.

WHAT I LIKED

The rythme used had a nice rhythm and beat when spoke out loud.

STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 5 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A pleasant turtle, snoring deep – For eighteen hours, not a peep." This is a nice, easy rythme that says a lot. We can picture a turtle just chillin' and sleeping and enjoying his peace.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in with an easy beat and keeps them reading. The title is descriptive for the poem. I enjoyed the lighthearted love story and I can see where this would appeal to children around 3-5 years.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4755659

Review of To County Mayo & Back

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE FOLDER

The folder organizes the author's poetry that is spiritual or religious in nature.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the folder was structured. The introduction has a nice explanation of the purpose of the folder. There's a picture in the title line, and poems appear well ordered.

ENGAGING

I thought this folder was very engaging. It caught my attention and piqued my interest.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion and this is style is to increase the font in the introduction to make it easier on the eyes on WDC.

PARTING THOUGHTS

It's a nice folder that does what it's intended to do. The title is reflective of the folder's theme. There are 3 poems and room to grow!

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4755323

Review of To Both my Mothers, Thank You

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was a heartfelt tribute to two mothers.

WHAT I LIKED

A sincere poem about what it's like to have a child, give it up for adoption, and yet, the emotional benefit weaves into the fabric of everyone involved.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were honest and sincere.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Sixteen years, and not prepared for a son." This is a very honest, poignant statement and I think it's something we can all understand.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the readers and keeps them reading. The title is a heartwarming fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall.

Glowing Steph

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#4755184

Review of Word Search

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE FOLDER

The folder contains the word searches for the Author's port.

WHAT I LIKED

Using a folder like this is a great way to organize the word searches in your port.

ENGAGING

If you like doing word searches, it's nice to find all the word searches all together.

VARIETY

There are a lot of puzzles to check out.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might suggest making the introduction more enticing by using a graphic to set the tone and mood as well as a paragraph or two to establish your "why" such as "I'm a fan of word searches and I wanted to share," or "I wanted to dedicate this" or "The theme of this folder is." The title is appropriate. If you enjoy word searches, you'll like this folder.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive

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#4755183

Review of -the Faces and Elements of GoT-

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

This word search focuses on characters and settings belonging to Game of Thrones.

WHAT I LIKED

Great word selection! Every word used had meaning to Game of Thrones.

ENGAGING

The first 2 words were easy, but after that, the word search became challenging but I hung there and words just popped up. I would say it was a good "medium" challenge. It wasn't too hard or too easy and I worked at a steady pace.

VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search associated with the books/series.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML in the intro.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, and this is minor, I might suggest adding a graphic to the introduction to augment the mood/tone. The title fits the activity. An enjoyable word search, especially if you like Game of Thrones.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

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#4755179

Review of Work in Progress

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

This word search focuses on words that are focused on spiritually.

WHAT I LIKED

Nice word selection. Every word used had a connection to developing your spiritually and inner growth. It's an inspiring puzzle.

ENGAGING

After I found the first couple of words, the other words just popped out. It was a lot of fun to do this puzzle.

VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search that have meaning to the topic.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might develop the introduction a little bit using a paragraph or two, or a graphic to set the tone and mood. This is a fun word search that will give you an opportunity to consider your own spiritual growth.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

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#4753329

Review of Three Types of Darkness

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the feelings that are brought out in the Dark.

WHAT I LIKED

Great expression without using the words the "black" or "night." That was part of the challenge which made the poem a tad more challenging.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are six lines with some rythmes.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML. If anything, I might check the Invalid item link.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "You are in the dark when everyone knows but you're left out." The poet uses a good economy of words to describe that heartbreaking feeling of not fitting in.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in, and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

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#4752743

Review of Raising Rabbits

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A woman brings home 3 rabbits from a conference and it causes a bunch of trouble.

WHAT I LIKED

I really appreciate it when a story can be told using only dialogue. That's a challenge. Well done here.

DIALOGUE

Dialogue drives the story. Good use of punctuation to communication inflection and tone of voice.

DESCRIPTIONS

Description is always a challenge with dialogue because it's implied, but here, there's enough to direction to let the scene play out in the reader's imagination. I especially liked: "What?!? You brought home a rabbit?" -- "Three." -- The reader can picture 3 rabbits coming home to a reluctant caretaker.

SETTING

TIME: Modern day
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

A couple

You can understand one's love for the rabbits and the other's reluctance. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the story, and the opening pulls the reader right into the dilemma. Well done!

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4752423

Review of Sprocket

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Sprocket is a helpful apprentice and there's one more race to tackle.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the undercurrent of respect Sprocket had for Mr. Alexander. Very well done considering the word count.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Sprocket's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Check your pilot’s seat, Mr. Alexander,” she answered calmly, then scratched her cheek, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her…her whatever he was, over the finish line first."

MY SUGGESTION: "Check your pilot's seat, Mr. Alexander." She scratched her check, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her...her whatever he was, over the finish line first.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Fearful tears filled his eyes." -- The author uses a good economy of words to convey a vivid picture in the reader's mind as well as communicate emotion. Mr. Alexander is afraid to race again.

SETTING

TIME: This is a steampunk fantasy which is an alternate past.
PLACE: airship race

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Sprocket

Sprocket is dedicated to her craft, but she also knows a little about Mr. Alexander and how to motivate him. Great characterization for a small story.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation/spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction which had a strict word count, and set words to be used for the prompt. The author did a great job meeting the challenge. The title is representative of the story, and the opening places the reader right in the scene ready to go. Well done!

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4752212

Review of The Last Train Ticket

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Tanner inherits a train ticket from his late great Uncle, but there's more than meets the eye. He just has to figure it out.

WHAT I LIKED

Maybe there's a reason the ticket was in a frame. The story plunks down several clues and the reader must piece them together. I liked it because the story made you think as a reader.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Tanner's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "It was a small rectangular, paper object, faded orange in colour." It's a simple description, and it's easy to picture the ticket in the reader's mind, but, for me, reading with a more critical eye, it's almost too simple. There's something up with this ticket.

SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: Uncle Gregory's mansion mostly

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Tanner

Tanner pays his respects and gets more than he bargained for.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for spelling. I think I spotted Gregory mis-spelled.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This story was written for the Writer's Cramp and had a 1K word limit. I thought the story did a good job with the word limit and used a good economy of words. The title is the prompt which fits the story. The opening intrigues the reader. An interesting story that could be the seed of a longer story.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

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#4752059

Review of April Fools!

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's April Fools and 2 young children work hard to play a trick on their parents.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the tricks! Totally age appropriate. It's a warm, lighthearted read about a sweet family with a hint of comedy.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Daniel's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: “This isn’t an apple!” he moaned and collapsed to the floor.

MY SUGGESTION: "This isn't an apple!" He collapsed to the floor and moaned.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Daniel squinted suspiciously at the cherubic faces of his twins. His daughter had caramel smeared across her forehead, her hands, and the tray of apples she presented to him. His son had his own tray, filled with cake pops. Flour was sprinkled through his red hair."

This is the opening paragraph, yet it accomplishes a lot. It uses a good economy of words to paint a paint a picture in the reader's mind of young children who have just tore up the kitchen prepping "April's Fools" for their parents. It lures you in as a reader and you want to learn if they are successful.

After using the opening paragraph to set the scene, the author can now focus on using the rest of the word count to tell the story.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: in the kitchen

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

It's an ensemble cast with Mom, Dad, Emily, and Robbie

Each as their own unique roll to play in the story. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the vinyette well. This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction and the author did a great job working with the prompt and painting a funny family scene. It's a nice read and good chuckle.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4751732

Review of Unbaked Banana Bread

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the emotional challenges of making banana bread. It's the endless question - to bake or not to bake?

WHAT I LIKED

This is a fun, lighthearted poem that a lot of people can identify with.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. The 1st and 2nd and 3rd and 4th lines rythme in each stanza.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A speckled friend sat on the kitchen shelf," It's playful and intriguing. It doesn't take the reader long to figure out it's a banana. It's a great visual that one can picture in their imagination and puts the reader in a curious mood.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader, venting their curiousity and compelling them to keep reading. The title fits the poem well. The poem is lighthearted and fun.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4751560

Review of Ode to New Year's

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the fleeting passage of time on New Year's Day.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play in the poem. It was succinct and on point.

STRUCTURE

This an acrostic poem. The word used in the poem is "Ephemeral" which is also defined as a note at the end of the poem. It's the perfect word to use to capture the fleeting moment of the holiday. There is an AABB rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Making memories without delay, Ere precious time slips away." Usually we all have something to do on New Year's Day. We ring in the New Year watching the ball drop. We go to a game, watch a parade, whatever it is, it's something we'll remember, but it's only for a day and it will slip alway. Something to ponder when you celebrate.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws in the reader and holds their attention. The title fits the poem well. Very nice expression.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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#4751352

Review of Mottos of Lesser Houses Game of Thrones

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about the appeal of the lesser houses of Game of Thrones.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a very creative and interesting question to ask. Game of Thrones was a great show and those who played here at WDC embraced the challenge. I think I picked Greyjoy - We Do Not Sow.

ENGAGING

The poll offers a lot of well thought out minor houses options.

VARIETY

There was a good variety of mottos.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked and had a lot of Games of Thrones appeal. I thought the question was fun and the poll was engaging.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

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#4751349

Review of Prompt Response

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll what type of prompts community members like on WDC.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a great question and it makes the poll taker stop and think for a bit. I selected: I like prompt banks and a variety of forms, but I just got done taking Game of Thrones which I think used a lot of prompt banks. Honestly, I like a variety. I like short phrases that you have to weave into a prompt (that sometimes the Daily Flash Fiction uses) or a picture prompt. I don't mind a quote prompt, but it's not a favorite and I struggled to come up with a story for last month's Official site contest. For the Bard's Hall, while we have set themes like the Cop Shop, Something Horror and Cupid Slam, Webbie and I strive to keep things as original as we can while sticking to broad themes.

ENGAGING

The poll offers a lot of well thought out choices.

VARIETY

There was a good variety of choices that pretty much covered every option available.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked. If anything, you could offer a trinket as an incentive to take the poll? Suggestion only. I think I think this is a great poll for the question presented.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

219

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4751343

Review of Do you like Writing.Com?

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about how well you like Writing.com

WHAT I LIKED

I think the poll gives great feedback on how the community likes the website.

ENGAGING

Well, if anything, you could really jazz up the introduction. There is so much you could to do it - add a graphic, play with WDC, gify's - make it really appealing.

VARIETY

The answers range from your stand to "I love it" to "I hate it."

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest jazzing up the introduction and touch on some of the added features that make it a website which the community loves. Show me a hint of what the website does.

Other than that, it's a great question to ask and get feedback on. Construction criticism only helps to make the website better.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

220

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4751342

Review of How will I die?

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

This poll questions your outlook on life and challenges you to consider your own destiny.

WHAT I LIKED

The introduction really set the tone for the poll, which asks a question that most people really don't want to think about. Maybe it's something we consider as we get older. It's a conversation starter for an uncomfortable conversation.

ENGAGING

The introduction really explains the reasons for the choices offered and invites people to select a choice.

VARIETY

There were a lot of of different "ways to go" to choose from.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The Introduction really sold the poll. I liked the use of a trinket, too as further incentive to take the poll. I chose in my bed, peacefully which had scored well.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

221

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4751341

Review of WDC Gardners Group/Activity

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about Gardening.

WHAT I LIKED

The introduction really set the tone for the poll which I liked. Sometimes polls are great to give the author feedback as to what to cook up next in their port, and I think that is what is done here.

ENGAGING

The introduction really explains the reasons for the choices offered and invites people to select a choice.

VARIETY

There were a lot of of different activities to choose from.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The Introduction really sold the poll. I'm looking forward to seeing what the author cooks up when the poll closes.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

222

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4751337

Review of A Ring of Flowers

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

This is a poem about the symbolic nature of the flowers when used in a circle.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how each stanza started with "A ring of flowers," and then went on to describe a different of that part of life, or the circle, if you would. It's a nice progression of the circle of the life.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "a lei, a welcome waxy plumeria for endurance, vibrant orchids an ode to your beauty," -- For me, a saw a woman in the prime of her life, enjoying the fruits of maturity and being appreciated for it. Nice expression using succinct word play.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader, drawing them effortlessly into the poem and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression.

223

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4750874

Review of Paint My Heart

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Love as seen through the colors of the seasons.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. I especially liked how the beginning of the line of each stanza started with "Paint my Heart with" and changed with the seasons. Nice repetition.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There was no set rthyming patterns.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Paint my heart with all the seasons, all the colors of a kaleidoscope." It's a vivid description which suggests a rich display of love.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I really enjoyed how the first line repeated itself and just changed the season. The poem evokes a sensual experience by taping into the uniqueness of each season. The opening pulls the reader in and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Well done! Nice expression.

224

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4750578

Review of Mountain Lion Campout

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's time for the spring campout and JR is coming prepared for fun, but not for a mountain lion.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author captured the fun of a campout.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by JR. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I liked: "Then there he was swaggering into the scene like a hero from some tipsy tale." -- It's a great description and reminds me of the swagger from Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

JR

JR brough the fun to camp, but the mountain lion had a trick for him.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The title is appropriate for the story. The ending will sneak up on the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

225

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4750575

Review of It Was All Her Fault

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Joyce dared Jerry to climb a tree drunk. When he woke up a mountain lion was staring at him from below. So... how was Jerry going to get down?

WHAT I LIKED

Jerry can sure tell a tale. Nice character voice eases the reader into the story and the ending sneaks up on you.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Jerry. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

Jerry's dialogue is telling the story.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I liked: "After waking up wedged in the crook of two big limbs without any idea how I got up there." -- It sets the scene up well and put the reader in the moment with the narrator.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Jerry

Jerry has to use some old-fashioned ingenuity to get out of the tree.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. The story was a nice, quick read and I could follow along with it. Good use of WDC ML to make the font bigger so it was easy on the reading eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and draws them in. The title catches its wind and brings it home when the reader gets to the end. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

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