StephBee's (sgcardin) Reviews

StephBee

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4,359 Public Reviews Given

4,576 Total Reviews Given

201

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#4755184

Review of Word Search

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE FOLDER

The folder contains the word searches for the Author's port.

WHAT I LIKED

Using a folder like this is a great way to organize the word searches in your port.

ENGAGING

If you like doing word searches, it's nice to find all the word searches all together.

VARIETY

There are a lot of puzzles to check out.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might suggest making the introduction more enticing by using a graphic to set the tone and mood as well as a paragraph or two to establish your "why" such as "I'm a fan of word searches and I wanted to share," or "I wanted to dedicate this" or "The theme of this folder is." The title is appropriate. If you enjoy word searches, you'll like this folder.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive

202

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#4755183

Review of -the Faces and Elements of GoT-

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

This word search focuses on characters and settings belonging to Game of Thrones.

WHAT I LIKED

Great word selection! Every word used had meaning to Game of Thrones.

ENGAGING

The first 2 words were easy, but after that, the word search became challenging but I hung there and words just popped up. I would say it was a good "medium" challenge. It wasn't too hard or too easy and I worked at a steady pace.

VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search associated with the books/series.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML in the intro.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, and this is minor, I might suggest adding a graphic to the introduction to augment the mood/tone. The title fits the activity. An enjoyable word search, especially if you like Game of Thrones.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

203

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#4755179

Review of Work in Progress

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

This word search focuses on words that are focused on spiritually.

WHAT I LIKED

Nice word selection. Every word used had a connection to developing your spiritually and inner growth. It's an inspiring puzzle.

ENGAGING

After I found the first couple of words, the other words just popped out. It was a lot of fun to do this puzzle.

VARIETY

There were a lot of words in the search that have meaning to the topic.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

If anything, I might develop the introduction a little bit using a paragraph or two, or a graphic to set the tone and mood. This is a fun word search that will give you an opportunity to consider your own spiritual growth.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

204

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#4753329

Review of Three Types of Darkness

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the feelings that are brought out in the Dark.

WHAT I LIKED

Great expression without using the words the "black" or "night." That was part of the challenge which made the poem a tad more challenging.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are six lines with some rythmes.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML. If anything, I might check the Invalid item link.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "You are in the dark when everyone knows but you're left out." The poet uses a good economy of words to describe that heartbreaking feeling of not fitting in.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in, and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

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205

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#4752743

Review of Raising Rabbits

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A woman brings home 3 rabbits from a conference and it causes a bunch of trouble.

WHAT I LIKED

I really appreciate it when a story can be told using only dialogue. That's a challenge. Well done here.

DIALOGUE

Dialogue drives the story. Good use of punctuation to communication inflection and tone of voice.

DESCRIPTIONS

Description is always a challenge with dialogue because it's implied, but here, there's enough to direction to let the scene play out in the reader's imagination. I especially liked: "What?!? You brought home a rabbit?" -- "Three." -- The reader can picture 3 rabbits coming home to a reluctant caretaker.

SETTING

TIME: Modern day
PLACE: house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

A couple

You can understand one's love for the rabbits and the other's reluctance. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the story, and the opening pulls the reader right into the dilemma. Well done!

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

206

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#4752423

Review of Sprocket

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Sprocket is a helpful apprentice and there's one more race to tackle.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the undercurrent of respect Sprocket had for Mr. Alexander. Very well done considering the word count.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Sprocket's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Check your pilot’s seat, Mr. Alexander,” she answered calmly, then scratched her cheek, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her…her whatever he was, over the finish line first."

MY SUGGESTION: "Check your pilot's seat, Mr. Alexander." She scratched her check, surveying the beauty of what she hoped would carry her...her whatever he was, over the finish line first.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Fearful tears filled his eyes." -- The author uses a good economy of words to convey a vivid picture in the reader's mind as well as communicate emotion. Mr. Alexander is afraid to race again.

SETTING

TIME: This is a steampunk fantasy which is an alternate past.
PLACE: airship race

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Sprocket

Sprocket is dedicated to her craft, but she also knows a little about Mr. Alexander and how to motivate him. Great characterization for a small story.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation/spelling mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction which had a strict word count, and set words to be used for the prompt. The author did a great job meeting the challenge. The title is representative of the story, and the opening places the reader right in the scene ready to go. Well done!

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

207

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#4752212

Review of The Last Train Ticket

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Tanner inherits a train ticket from his late great Uncle, but there's more than meets the eye. He just has to figure it out.

WHAT I LIKED

Maybe there's a reason the ticket was in a frame. The story plunks down several clues and the reader must piece them together. I liked it because the story made you think as a reader.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Tanner's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue accents the narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "It was a small rectangular, paper object, faded orange in colour." It's a simple description, and it's easy to picture the ticket in the reader's mind, but, for me, reading with a more critical eye, it's almost too simple. There's something up with this ticket.

SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: Uncle Gregory's mansion mostly

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Tanner

Tanner pays his respects and gets more than he bargained for.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any puncutation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for spelling. I think I spotted Gregory mis-spelled.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

This story was written for the Writer's Cramp and had a 1K word limit. I thought the story did a good job with the word limit and used a good economy of words. The title is the prompt which fits the story. The opening intrigues the reader. An interesting story that could be the seed of a longer story.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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#4752059

Review of April Fools!

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's April Fools and 2 young children work hard to play a trick on their parents.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the tricks! Totally age appropriate. It's a warm, lighthearted read about a sweet family with a hint of comedy.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Daniel's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: “This isn’t an apple!” he moaned and collapsed to the floor.

MY SUGGESTION: "This isn't an apple!" He collapsed to the floor and moaned.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Daniel squinted suspiciously at the cherubic faces of his twins. His daughter had caramel smeared across her forehead, her hands, and the tray of apples she presented to him. His son had his own tray, filled with cake pops. Flour was sprinkled through his red hair."

This is the opening paragraph, yet it accomplishes a lot. It uses a good economy of words to paint a paint a picture in the reader's mind of young children who have just tore up the kitchen prepping "April's Fools" for their parents. It lures you in as a reader and you want to learn if they are successful.

After using the opening paragraph to set the scene, the author can now focus on using the rest of the word count to tell the story.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: in the kitchen

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

It's an ensemble cast with Mom, Dad, Emily, and Robbie

Each as their own unique roll to play in the story. Well done.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title fits the vinyette well. This was an entry for the Daily Flash Fiction and the author did a great job working with the prompt and painting a funny family scene. It's a nice read and good chuckle.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

209

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#4751732

Review of Unbaked Banana Bread

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the emotional challenges of making banana bread. It's the endless question - to bake or not to bake?

WHAT I LIKED

This is a fun, lighthearted poem that a lot of people can identify with.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. The 1st and 2nd and 3rd and 4th lines rythme in each stanza.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "A speckled friend sat on the kitchen shelf," It's playful and intriguing. It doesn't take the reader long to figure out it's a banana. It's a great visual that one can picture in their imagination and puts the reader in a curious mood.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader, venting their curiousity and compelling them to keep reading. The title fits the poem well. The poem is lighthearted and fun.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

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210

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#4751560

Review of Ode to New Year's

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the fleeting passage of time on New Year's Day.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play in the poem. It was succinct and on point.

STRUCTURE

This an acrostic poem. The word used in the poem is "Ephemeral" which is also defined as a note at the end of the poem. It's the perfect word to use to capture the fleeting moment of the holiday. There is an AABB rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make it easy on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Making memories without delay, Ere precious time slips away." Usually we all have something to do on New Year's Day. We ring in the New Year watching the ball drop. We go to a game, watch a parade, whatever it is, it's something we'll remember, but it's only for a day and it will slip alway. Something to ponder when you celebrate.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws in the reader and holds their attention. The title fits the poem well. Very nice expression.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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#4751352

Review of Mottos of Lesser Houses Game of Thrones

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about the appeal of the lesser houses of Game of Thrones.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a very creative and interesting question to ask. Game of Thrones was a great show and those who played here at WDC embraced the challenge. I think I picked Greyjoy - We Do Not Sow.

ENGAGING

The poll offers a lot of well thought out minor houses options.

VARIETY

There was a good variety of mottos.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked and had a lot of Games of Thrones appeal. I thought the question was fun and the poll was engaging.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

212

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#4751349

Review of Prompt Response

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll what type of prompts community members like on WDC.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a great question and it makes the poll taker stop and think for a bit. I selected: I like prompt banks and a variety of forms, but I just got done taking Game of Thrones which I think used a lot of prompt banks. Honestly, I like a variety. I like short phrases that you have to weave into a prompt (that sometimes the Daily Flash Fiction uses) or a picture prompt. I don't mind a quote prompt, but it's not a favorite and I struggled to come up with a story for last month's Official site contest. For the Bard's Hall, while we have set themes like the Cop Shop, Something Horror and Cupid Slam, Webbie and I strive to keep things as original as we can while sticking to broad themes.

ENGAGING

The poll offers a lot of well thought out choices.

VARIETY

There was a good variety of choices that pretty much covered every option available.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction really set the tone for the question asked. If anything, you could offer a trinket as an incentive to take the poll? Suggestion only. I think I think this is a great poll for the question presented.

Reviewed by StephBee for Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive .

213

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#4751343

Review of Do you like Writing.Com?

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about how well you like Writing.com

WHAT I LIKED

I think the poll gives great feedback on how the community likes the website.

ENGAGING

Well, if anything, you could really jazz up the introduction. There is so much you could to do it - add a graphic, play with WDC, gify's - make it really appealing.

VARIETY

The answers range from your stand to "I love it" to "I hate it."

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest jazzing up the introduction and touch on some of the added features that make it a website which the community loves. Show me a hint of what the website does.

Other than that, it's a great question to ask and get feedback on. Construction criticism only helps to make the website better.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

214

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#4751342

Review of How will I die?

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

This poll questions your outlook on life and challenges you to consider your own destiny.

WHAT I LIKED

The introduction really set the tone for the poll, which asks a question that most people really don't want to think about. Maybe it's something we consider as we get older. It's a conversation starter for an uncomfortable conversation.

ENGAGING

The introduction really explains the reasons for the choices offered and invites people to select a choice.

VARIETY

There were a lot of of different "ways to go" to choose from.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The Introduction really sold the poll. I liked the use of a trinket, too as further incentive to take the poll. I chose in my bed, peacefully which had scored well.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

215

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#4751341

Review of WDC Gardners Group/Activity

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POLL

A poll about Gardening.

WHAT I LIKED

The introduction really set the tone for the poll which I liked. Sometimes polls are great to give the author feedback as to what to cook up next in their port, and I think that is what is done here.

ENGAGING

The introduction really explains the reasons for the choices offered and invites people to select a choice.

VARIETY

There were a lot of of different activities to choose from.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The Introduction really sold the poll. I'm looking forward to seeing what the author cooks up when the poll closes.

Reviewed by StephBee for the Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive.

216

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#4751337

Review of A Ring of Flowers

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

This is a poem about the symbolic nature of the flowers when used in a circle.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how each stanza started with "A ring of flowers," and then went on to describe a different of that part of life, or the circle, if you would. It's a nice progression of the circle of the life.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "a lei, a welcome waxy plumeria for endurance, vibrant orchids an ode to your beauty," -- For me, a saw a woman in the prime of her life, enjoying the fruits of maturity and being appreciated for it. Nice expression using succinct word play.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader, drawing them effortlessly into the poem and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression.

217

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#4750874

Review of Paint My Heart

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Love as seen through the colors of the seasons.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. I especially liked how the beginning of the line of each stanza started with "Paint my Heart with" and changed with the seasons. Nice repetition.

STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There was no set rthyming patterns.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Paint my heart with all the seasons, all the colors of a kaleidoscope." It's a vivid description which suggests a rich display of love.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I really enjoyed how the first line repeated itself and just changed the season. The poem evokes a sensual experience by taping into the uniqueness of each season. The opening pulls the reader in and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Well done! Nice expression.

218

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#4750578

Review of Mountain Lion Campout

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

It's time for the spring campout and JR is coming prepared for fun, but not for a mountain lion.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author captured the fun of a campout.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by JR. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I liked: "Then there he was swaggering into the scene like a hero from some tipsy tale." -- It's a great description and reminds me of the swagger from Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

JR

JR brough the fun to camp, but the mountain lion had a trick for him.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader. The title is appropriate for the story. The ending will sneak up on the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

219

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#4750575

Review of It Was All Her Fault

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Joyce dared Jerry to climb a tree drunk. When he woke up a mountain lion was staring at him from below. So... how was Jerry going to get down?

WHAT I LIKED

Jerry can sure tell a tale. Nice character voice eases the reader into the story and the ending sneaks up on you.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Jerry. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

Jerry's dialogue is telling the story.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I liked: "After waking up wedged in the crook of two big limbs without any idea how I got up there." -- It sets the scene up well and put the reader in the moment with the narrator.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Jerry

Jerry has to use some old-fashioned ingenuity to get out of the tree.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. The story was a nice, quick read and I could follow along with it. Good use of WDC ML to make the font bigger so it was easy on the reading eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and draws them in. The title catches its wind and brings it home when the reader gets to the end. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

220

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#4750569

Review of Stuck

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A magical Mary is caught on a tree branch with a mountain lion below. What's next?

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the quirkiness of the moment. Good job capturing the essence of the character with a tight word count requirement.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person by Mary. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue occurs when the character talks to themselves out loud. Good job with dialogue tags.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "Another blind plunge, a bite of the lip, and her eyes gleamed in triumph as she carefully and slowly tugged out a raw steak."

How anyone finds a raw steak in their purse is wild! It's a great visual I can picture in my imagination.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Mary

She has to work through a pu-erh tea hang over and manage to get out of the tea and avoid the mountain lion. The good thing is she has quite an imagination.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. The story is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make the font bigger.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader and keeps them reading. The title is appropriate for the story. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

221

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4750561

Review of Jerky Jaunts

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

An unnamed narrator finds themselves hung over in a tree and a mountain lion is watching their every move.

WHAT I LIKED

Great character voice! I felt like I was a fly on the tree. hehe. The internal dialogue really drives the story well.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by our narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There was enough to set the scene. I liked: "I peered down, warily, through the clump of leaves at what was supposed to be a campsite. Empty beer cans and snack bags lay littered around the dying embers of a fire. The camp chairs were still there, but in different states of disarray; as if the people once sitting on them had left in haste."

The author uses a good economy of words to paint a vivid scene in the reader's imagination.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural/campsite

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Narrator

The narrator has to find a creative way to get down from the tree and avoid the mountain lion.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation/spelling mistakes. The story is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to make easy on the reader's eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. The title is unique and fits the story well. The author followed the prompt well. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. A fun, lighthearted story with nice comedic elements. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

222

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4748947

Review of Creature Features

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

GAMES OF THRONES FORUM/CONTEST REVIEW

This is a review for "Creature Features"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

in conjunction with:

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE FORUM/CONTEST

This forum hosts the

FORUM

Creature Features

(13+)
Round 31 open!
#2211262 by Angelica Weatherby- July 4th

contest. This a contest that focuses on animals and creatures and accepts poetry, prose, and short stories.

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the theme of the contest. Animals touch our hearts in such a positive way. I also liked how the contest gave one the option to enter using poetry, prose, or a short story.

THE RULES

The rules are clearly listed and easy to understand. I liked use of dropnotes to help organize the rules and keep the Introduction less cluttered.

JUDGES

While there is a dropnote for judges, it says "user" which I assume is the forum host.

PRIZES

Prizes are clearly listed. If anything, I might suggest creating a separate BITEM where previous winners are listed. I think it helps in establishing a proven history with the contest.

ENGAGING

While the contest appeared activ.

VARIETY

Variety would come with the prompt. There is a dropnote for the prompt and there were a couple of options listed

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked the use of the graphic in the Introduction as it helps to set a nice tone for the contest. Good use of WDC ML and dropnotes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I think it's a good contest for newer members to the community to try out. The contest itself is not overly complicated and is pretty straightforward. I would most definately recommend you bookmark it!

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Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Image #2316760 over display limit. -?-

223

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4748471

Review of Honoring Our Veterans - Challenge

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES FORUM/CONTEST REVIEW

This is a review for "Honoring Our Veterans - Challenge"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE FORUM/CONTEST

This forum hosts the

FORUM

Honoring Our Veterans - Challenge

(ASR)
Celebrating Veterans Day every day
#423698 by StephBee

contest. This is a monthly contest that has a military theme and honors Veterans.

WHAT I LIKED

I love the patriotic spirit of the forum. Having served myself, this forum warms my heart. I love the reverence and respect for all who have served and this is a great forum to highlight our military writing.

THE RULES

The rules are clearly listed and easy to understand. I liked that we can use old bitems if unawarded.

JUDGES

The Judges are clearly listed.

PRIZES

Prizes are clearly listed. Winners are announced in the forum for everyone to see.

ENGAGING

I thought the forum was active and there was a fair amount of engagement from community members.

VARIETY

Variety would come when the new month starts, as it's an open prompt with a broad military theme.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked the use of the graphic in the Introduction as it helps to set a nice tone for the contest. Good use of WDC ML as well.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I think it's a great contest and I would encourage more community members to enter. The contest theme is one close to the heart. I highly encourage community members to visit the contest and try it out!

I also liked the "Tributes" at the end as I remember COUNTRYMOM

and how she just loved to support veterans.

I also see the contest is a Quill Award winner and it's not easy to win a Quill! Well done. I highly recommend this forum/contest.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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224

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4748317

Review of Noticing Newbies

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES ACTIVE FORUM REVIEW

This is a review for "Noticing Newbies"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE FORUM

This forum is

FORUM

Noticing Newbies

(13+)
A warm welcome to our newbies; come meet new and not-so-new members of Writing.Com!
#126963 by The StoryMistress

which encourages community members to stop on by and notice the "newbies" who have recently joined Writing.com.

WHAT I LIKED

I think this is a great idea as a "first stop" for Newbies to the site who want to acquaint themselves with Writing.com and meet community members. I liked the message Forum tips that were listed. "The Writer's Cramp" and "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" are two writing activities that will help challenge new writers and ease them into the community.

THE INTRODUCTION

The introduction lists a bunch of options and activities. Good use of a graphic to set the tone, and there are a bunch of links to other active groups/forums that newbies can check out.

ENGAGING

The forum appears very active with several posts welcoming new members.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS

This is a great "first stop" for new members to the Writing.com community. It's a place to mingle, ask questions, give directions and find new friends who have writing in common. It's very welcoming and I highly recommend it.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

Image #2316760 over display limit. -?-

225

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4748313

Review of The 'Organized Port' Contest

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

GAMES OF THRONES "LOST TREASURE" INACTIVE FORUM REVIEW

This is a review for "The 'Organized Port' Contest"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE "LOST TREASURE" INACTIVE FORUM

The Lost Treasure is

The 'Organized Port' Contest

(13+)
CLOSED! A contest to help get those ports organized! Over 125K in prizes to be won!
#1148950 by iKïyå§ama

which encourages community members to submit their portfolio and show off just how organized they could be!

WHAT I LIKED

I loved the idea of making a contest that focused on organization, especially here on WDC. The more organized a portfolio is, the more appealing it is for me to pop on it and check it out.

THE RULES

The rules are clearly stated, such as you must have at least 20 items in your port to enter, how you can enter the contest, and when the contest ends. Also, a points system is listed as to how the judges will judge the contest.

THE JUDGES
The guest judges are clearly listed.

THE PRIZES

The prizes (and their winners) are clearly listed and generous.

DONATIONS

The donors are listed. I can't help but notice that I'm listed as one of "The Generous Ones."

ENGAGING

There are 1 out of 3 pages, so I can tell the contest engaged the community and it appeared active.

VARIETY

The variety would come in the nominations of the portfolios.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The Introduction is really appealing with a graphic that sets the tone/mood as well as WDC ML which varies color and font to keep it easy on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

This lost treasure was last active 18 years ago!! BUT there's a couple messages recalling what an awesome contest this was about a month ago.

I think this activity has A LOT of potential if it was to be restarted. Now, if I was on a desert island and I came across this lost treasure, I would most definitely dust this treasure off, give it a restoration and maybe make it a seasonal activity.

Reviewed by StephB for House Targaryen

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