|Hello, I'm StephB aka Rona Virus and I am reviewing your story for Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
For the "What a Character" Contest, was the main character named?
Yes - Aubrey/McKenna
Aubrey is kidnapped in England and held against her will.
WHAT I LIKED
The storyline had me on the edge of my seat. The author built the suspense well.
This is told in the first person by "Aubrey." Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Sit," he said, pushing me down onto the mattress.
MY SUGGESTION: He shoved me down onto the mattress. "Sit."
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. For me, this was minor. If you want to "amp" this up, I might suggest adding description involving the 5 senses, especially smell. What does the room smell like? What does he smell Reid smell like? Day old cigarettes and booze?
TIME: modern day
This was clarified for the reader.
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She wants to escape from Reid.
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader, and the story had me biting my nails. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.