*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11
Review Requests: ON
3,943 Public Reviews Given
4,156 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 7 8 9 10 -11- 12 13 14 15 16 ... Next
251
251
Review of Leaving  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*PaintBrush* THE PHOTO

The photo highlights a sunflower surrounded by autumn foliage.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is a perfect compliment to the autumn picture, as old becomes new giving into what nature wants.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The concept. Nice word play about old and new.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which follows the 5-7-5 syllable pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. I love how the picture and poem compliment each other and inspire the reader to go deeper into the meaning. The poem/picture make the reader think about nature's cycle, and even deeper, our own. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

252
252
Review of PINK AND BLUE  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*PaintBrush* THE PHOTO

This is a nature photo taken "upward" to reveal the skies. Trees are witnessing the sunset.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is a nice compliment to the picture. As nature bares witness to God's work.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoy nature photos and I liked how this one tied into God's wonderful work on Earth.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a haiku which does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. The pattern here is 5-10-6.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion is to work on the 5-7-5 syllable scheme. The poem/picture evoke a feeling of wonder. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest!

Reviewed by StephB
Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature

253
253
Review of Once More Now  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Dylan and his invisible friend make pub night interesting.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked what happened to Annie. Poor thing. It made me chuckle.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person omnicient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

This was a dialogue challenge so the dialogue drives the story. The dialogue is conversational and engages the reader.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

It's hard to fit descriptions into dialogue, so I would say good use of trageted sentences to dribble in the description of the Pub

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting, Irish Pub

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Annie, Dylan, Unnamed friend

There's enough here to understand all their motivations. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. This was a challenging contest and the author did a great job with it. The dialogue felt natural to the Irish and there was a solid story that weaved in Irish lore. I like how the unnamed friend was implied to be a Leprechaun. It made me think as a reader. I had to read it a second time to make sure I didn't miss anything. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
254
254
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

THREE SCORE AND TEN
The blog was active SEP-DEC 2020. The blog focused on biographical entries.

*Smile*ORIGINALITY

Each day was something new and I liked reading about Luna and Biscuit.

*Star* ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

*Star*GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the entries took on a conversational tone.

*Star*CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on biographical content. All the blog entries I reviewed were spot on - not too little, not too much.

*Star*VARIETY

Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "biographical" tied all posts together.

*Star* ACTIVITY

Posts were hit and miss. Some had good engagement, some had none. I would have liked to have seen only because it was an interesting. *Smile*

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction frames the theme of the blog well so you know what to expect.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

Glowing Steph

255
255
for entry "Coffee and Philosophy
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

WRITINGS IN THE SAND
The blog was active about 6 months out of the year in 2020. The blog focused on personal/entertainment type musings from the author. Any posts having to do with Coffee *CoffeeBl* was a big hit with me.

*Smile*ORIGINALITY

I liked the every day musings. It allowed readers to connect to the blog.

*Star* ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

*Star*GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the entries took on a conversational tone.

*Star*CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on personal, whimsical thoughts. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much.

*Star*VARIETY

Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "emotional/personal" tied all posts together.

*Star* ACTIVITY

There was good engagment on the posts. *Smile*

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction establishes a theme, but I might suggest using a graphic to lure more readers in.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

Glowing Steph

256
256
Review of Complex Numbers  
for entry "Got Muffin
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

COMPLEX NUMBERS
The blog was active every month in 2020. The blog focused on a WDC prompt, "30 Day Blogging Challenge."

*Smile*ORIGINALITY

The replies to the prompts were very oringal and well thought out. I like the use of videos to frame some of the posts.

*Star* ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

*Star*GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the mechanics made the blog easy to read, and I like how the tone took on a conversational tone.

*Star*CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had nice focus on the "30 Day Blogging Challenge." The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much.

*Star*VARIETY

In regards to the prompt content, Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "personal" tied all posts together.

*Star* ACTIVITY

There was good engagment on the posts. *Smile*

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction gives a shout to complex numbers and highlights the Merit Badges the blog has earned.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

Glowing Steph

257
257
for entry "Psalm 3:1-3, 8
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

THESE ARE MY JOT-TINGS PART 2
The blog was active all of 2020. The blog used WDC prompts, for example, ""Rhythm and Rhyme Challenge."

*Smile*ORIGINALITY

The replies to the prompts were very orginal and well thought out. I also liked how the author used different poetry forms from hiakus to sonnets.

*Star* ORGANIZATION

The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.

*Star*GRAMMAR/SPELLING

I didn't spot any real isuses. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star*CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS

The blog had a fantastic focus on poetry. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much. I also liked their was a spiritual theme throughout. On several of the hiakus, I appreciated the nature theme.

*Star*VARIETY

In regards to the variety content, what I liked was the various forms of poetry the author used.

*Star*PARTING ACTIVITY

There wasn't as much activity/engagement which was a bit of bummer because the poetry was well written and engaging. *Smile*

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The introduction was engaging. Good use of graphics, WDC ML and inspirational quotes.

This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!

Reviewed by StephB for the 2020 Quills

Glowing Steph

258
258
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight*This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

Something happened to Cupid's bow so now it causes decay and darkness.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: UGLY. Cupid's good intentions have caused toxicity, decay, darkness and damning the lovers to hell and purgatory. That's rough.



*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem that doesn't have a rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems to come off a bit misdirected at the couple and not on him.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
259
259
Review of Cupid Plucks  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight*This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

Cupid's arrow clearly wasn't tipped in St. Valentine's elixir because Beau can't get nowhere with Rose.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Cupid plucks in vain.

I liked the story of Beau and Rose. This just wasn't their Valentine's Day.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with 8 two line stanzas. The lines in each stanza rhythm.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad things happen to Beau, Cupid's slam (he plucks in vain) seems to come off a bit easy.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.
260
260
Review of A letter to Cupid  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (1.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight*This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

Who needs Cupid when you have Tinder?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: UGLY. I especially liked: "So put on some clothes, don't flash your ass, go on a diet, at least show some class."

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with 2 stanzas and each line in the stanzas rythming.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Well done intentionally ugly Cupid's slam.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
261
261
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:

*PointRight* Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
*PointRight* Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
*PointRight* Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
*PointRight*This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
*PointRight* Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!

*PointRight* A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.

And now... onto the review....

*Reading* THE POEM

Cupid gets chewed out for his choice in "love interests."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:

SLAM: BAD. Cupid missed and gets cussed out but we only hear his side of the conversation.

I liked the line: "The only thing you'll get is brown bows and rose rust."

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem that has a AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems a bit tame to me.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.
262
262
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Princess Griselda desires to find her brother despite her world's cold challenges and evil wizards.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the opening. I thought it was very engaging.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited in Griselda's point of view. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good job with dialogue tags.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might tap into the five senses, especially smell and touch to heighten the descriptions of Griselda's world.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: unknown
PLACE: cold, rural setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader. Time really isn't essential to the broader context of the story.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Griscelda

There's enough here to understand her motivations, she stays true to wanting to find her brother. *Thumbsup* I thought the brother changed his motivations too quick at the end and it didn't feel natural to him, so I would on his character being a tad more consistent.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. Good imagination to create Griselda's fantasy world. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

263
263
Review of A Place to Hide  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A child is looking for a kind face after escaping horror.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It offered hope in the face of a tough situtation.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. I might suggest a line break between the 4th and 5th paragraphs when the character POV shifts.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's one line of dialogue which accents the narration. I might suggest using quotes=" and not ' for the dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: side of the road

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Josie

There's enough here to understand her motivations; she's looking for a safe haven. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A creative take on the picture prompt. A suspenseful vignette. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph

264
264
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Finding beauty in the life of a snowflake, which is short lived.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem inspired hope, especially in the opening stanza. It really drew me in.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There were some stragetic rhymes, but no set patterns.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I thought they were succient and to the point. I especially liked "weary dream."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice expression. The title fits the poem well. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph
265
265
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A thought provoking poem about loss.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem grew naturally shorter and shorter until the ending. It added to the meaning to the poem; as life got shorter and shorter.


*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

subtle yet effective. Examples:
Green grass is gone to stay
Memories hang in icy air.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought the title encouraged the reader to mull on the meaning. Expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph

266
266
Review of Winter Impact  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem describes a winter scene in all it's cold beauty.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the words used to describe the outside:
gnarled trunks
willowy branches
pale, dull, lazy, reluctant mid-day sun


*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's a lot of nice, succinct word play. See above for descriptions. I think the poem paints a vibrant, chily, picture that puts reader nose-to-nose with the window.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I thought the title matched the poem. Very expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

Glowing Steph

267
267
Review of An Unusual Letter  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LETTER

A poignant look at how COVID has turned the letter writer and a nation around in it's response.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the conversational nature of the letter. It describes life and how one has readjusted to COVID and it's restrictions.

*Star* TONE

Nervously serious. There's a lot going on, a lot of uncertainity and the tone of the letter does a nice hinting at that.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything I might suggest a bit more paragraph spacing to make it easy on the eyes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter touches on good and bad. It rambles a bit, but contains a lot of heartfelt emotion. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
268
268
Review of A Ghostly Mistake  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A couple of people who love horror stories get their dolls crossed up in the mail.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the characters. They were interesting and quirky.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue accents the narration.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
269
269
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LETTER

A heartbreaking look at watch COVID did to 2020.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author communicated in a way to really touch people. A lot of people had similiar struggles and can totally identify with the struggles and challenges.

*Star* TONE

Poignant. The author tells a personal story how COVID forced changes we all can identify with.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter is honest, full of emotion and to the point. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
270
270
Review of My 2020  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LETTER

A nice overview of how 2020 started out and how the writer adjusted to the ups and downs of a bumpy year.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the letter chronicled the year and broke down what happened month by month.

*Star* TONE

Matter-of-fact. The letter is easy to read and understand.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter is conversational and draws the reader in. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
271
271
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LETTER

A heartfelt letter to 2020 including the good, the bad, and ugly, ah, weird. *Smile*

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the conversational nature of the letter. I liked how the letter poked fun, yet made a point. For example: "Chocolate, on he other hand, can be used to bribe the zombies."

*Star* TONE

Lighthearted. I liked how the body of the letter touched on all points, the good, the bad, and weird of 2020.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The letter is succinct and to the point. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
272
272
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* THE LIMERICK

A poor turkey doesn't realize he's not a guest at Thanksgiving, he's the meal!

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

This poor turkey was clueless! Good job making a poem from limerick stanzas.

*Star* STRUCTURE

A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. An entertaining turkey trot! Well done!

Reviewed by StephB

Glowing Steph
273
273
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading* THE LIMERICK

A turkey seems oblivious to his plight, which, honestly, is a not a good thing. He has no idea what's going to happen...

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Very creative! You capture the poor bird's lack of knowing well.

*Star* STRUCTURE

A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. A great way to weave in some Swedish. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB

Glowing Steph
274
274
Review of Turkey Trifecta  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading* THE LIMERICK

3 Limericks, 2 turkeys, and a chef fill the house with the ambience of Thanksgiving.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the trifecta! Three great stories about Thanksgiving, turkeys, and a chef.

*Star* STRUCTURE

A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Very creative. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB

Glowing Steph
275
275
Review of In the Barrio  
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading* THE LIMERICK

A turkey found love...and lost love. *Sad*

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Never find love in a barrio.

*Star* STRUCTURE

A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Great storytelling in four lines with an added chuckle. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB

Glowing Steph
1,314 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 53 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11