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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
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Public Reviews
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Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Jim and Doris take an anniversary trip and get stuck on a ski lift.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the couple's dynamic. Fussy and honest.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told past tense.

*Star* DIALOGUE

This is a dialogue contest. The dialogue drives the story. The dialogue comes across as natural.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: ski lift

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Jim and Doris

Both characters are engaging. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion would be to spell out "OK" as "okay."

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening gets the reader's attention. There's a very amusing ending that's consistent with the charaters and their fussy nature. Good character driven vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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227
Review of Frosty's Revenge?  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Frosty is a Snowman scorned when Prof. Hinkle and Hocus Pocus do him in at the Greenhouse.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The writing style is easy to read and understand. Good voice.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Frosty. The last line shifts to Hocus Pocus. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue compliments the narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the five senses. Just a few strategic sentences would help to paint a visual for the reader. I would focus on Prof. Hinkle's house.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?

This is something that could be a tad more clarified for the reader. Is this an urban or rural setting? Is it modern day or 50 years ago?

*Star* CHARACTERS

Frosty

There's enough here to understand his motivations. Frosty wants revenge. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
228
228
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Definitely a dark look at the secrets of the heart.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Good use of word play.

*Star* STRUCTURE

All the lines in the stanza rythme: AAAA, BBBB, CCCC etc...

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem explores dark themes using dark words, offering up: what secret of the heart could of have died? My interpretation: happiness, but it's let open for the reader to discover what secret works for them. My suggestion going forward, having read the poetry in your port is to explore different styles, different themes, slant rythmes, which I think you'll be good at and have fun with your exploration. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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229
Review of Effigy of a Life  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

An effigy defined, is a model made which is intended to be destroyed. The poem then goes on to explore the "effigy of a life."

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem explored "darker" themes such as depression and life after death.

*Star* STRUCTURE

There are no stanzas, and an inconsistent rythme scheme along with slant rythmes. If anything I might use stanzas and tighten up the rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem makes the reader think. There's nice word play. A life is made and then the challenge is to keep it from being destroyed in an unhealthy way.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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230
Review of An Enigma  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Is life an enigma? The poem explores the question.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Defined, an enigma is a mystery, a puzzle, something to figure out or difficult to understand. It plays into the overall theme of "life is an enigma."

*Star* STRUCTURE

Every other line tends to rythme, but the scheme differs from stanza to stanza and the 3rd stanza uses a slant rythme, similiar to Emily Dickenson's style. I might just tighten up the rythme scheme to show a consistency in the patterning.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Nice word play. The last stanza is very poignant. Enigma, simply put is how we choose to live to our lives.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

Review Signature }


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
231
231
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Darkness has a way of imparting secrets. If you're willing to listen.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how each stanza start with the invitation: "Darkness, what can you tell me?" It brought the discussion back to the center of the circle for the reader to ponder.

*Star* STRUCTURE

Roughly, the ryhme scheme consists of 2 lines rythming with each other, but the lines are consistently inconsistent. The 1st stanza is AA, BBB, CC, DD, EE, FF, the next stanza is different. The rythmes do make the poem more engaging.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Some of the themes I identified, or at least spoke to me:
Learning the hard way (you'll remember it better)
Some pain time cannot replace.
There is hope after life, despite the darkness in one's life.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

Review Signature }


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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232
Review of Atlas  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Atlas is the world bearer who sees the plays of the world as they unfold.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem has a nice flow to it that makes it easy to read.

*Star* STRUCTURE

There is a AA BB rythme scheme. With the longer last stanza, there is a CC added.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem makes the reader think about the totality of life and dares one to stay true to themselves. (At least, that's what I personally got out of the poem.) Well written.

Reviewed by StephB, member of the Angel Army

Review Signature }


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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233
Review of The Blind Date  
Review by StephB
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Danielle prepares to go out on a blind date.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author captured the anxiety of getting ready for a date. I think we've all felt that at one time or another.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited by Danielle. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a limited amount of dialogue. It accents the narration well.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses and placing a sentence here or there to accent the description.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Danielle

There's enough here to understand her motivations. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening draws the reader into Danielle's world. The author did a great job with the ending, as I didn't expect it as a reader. Write on!

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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234
Review by StephB
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

There's a witch doctor in Barcelona causing trouble.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story flowed. It was tense and nervous and I wanted to know what happened next.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue heightens the narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. The author uses good work choice to "amp up" the suspense. For example, "Her eyes prowled."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: historical
PLACE: urban historical setting

This is something that could be clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Enriqueta

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's a witch. She wants money and will do anything for it. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

Check the spelling of "witch" in your blurb, it's written "which." I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Punctuation should be included in a dialogue tag, not outside.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

#1 2009 Review signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Canine Crossword  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* "Canine Crossword" is a Game of Thrones inspired crossword.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This was fun to take. I knew most of the answers without having to look anything up.

*Star* ENGAGING

The questions were engaging to the taker.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of questions.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the crossword. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration.

Angel Army Review Bear
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236
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* "House Greyjoy Crossword" focuses on Theon and his family.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Good use of Trivia about house Greyjoy. Wish I knew more!

*Star* ENGAGING

The crossword engages the taker using a Game of Thrones inspired theme.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of choices.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked how when I plug in answers, it automatically showed it on the crossword.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of a graphic in the introduction to set the theme for the crossword.


Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration.

Angel Army Review Bear
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Review of To Refuse A Duke  
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

When young lady Charlotte turns down the Duke of Carlisle it stirs something within all parties involved.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story flowed. There was great balance in this vignette. The descriptions captured the ambiance and feel of the period.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited through Harland's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. Dynamic word choices paint a vivid picture for the reader.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: England, early 1800's
PLACE: dance hall

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Harlan

There's enough here to understand his motivations, and to understand the stirring that Lady Charlotte sparks. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The opening engages the reader. The story held my attention throughout right to the end. I definitely see where this can be expanded into a full novel. Well Written!


Reviewed by StephB

#1 2009 Review signature } }
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Review of In Time  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

The poem is about losing someone from your life, than gaining them back.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem evoked emotion, especially longing. I think it's an emotion that any reader can connect with.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. The author also uses slant rythmes within the stanzas.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. This was an easy poem to read and understand, but you could easily take it to a deeper level. Word selection was dynamic.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

Review Signature }
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Review of Closed  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

What happens when a closed mind is opened?

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

What I liked about this poem is that words are used to paint a picture of a steel cage, but the deeper meaning deals with the cage of the mind, and what happens when the mind is free.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. Slant rythmes are employed in a Dickinson-esque manner.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem makes the reader go deeper, to think about the different "cages" in life that hold us back. Or perhaps prejudices? At least, that's what I got from it. I think that's the brilliance of the poem - how different people can take it to mean different things.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

Review Signature }
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Review of Sorrow  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Very visual - a scary scene is painted. What comes to mind is a medieval prison.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poem evokes emotion well. I had a scene of being chained, cold, scared, and uncertain.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Good use of dynamic words to evoke a picture.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

Review Signature }
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Review of Silence  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

Silence can haunt us all.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the word play. I often feel like this - should I say something? should I not? When I don't, I feel the silence has found a home in the uneasy pit of uncertainty.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme reminds me of Emily Dickinson's. AB blank, AB blank where the blanks form a slant rythme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem does a great job at evoking uncomfortable emotion. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum

Review Signature }
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Review of Rumor Has It...  
Review by StephB
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Marcia Crumb has discovered a piece of gossip she can't keep to herself, but when she starts the ball rolling, the ending is not what she expected.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the narrator's voice. Very engaging. Great build up to the ending.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd persom limited by Marcia. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward. It is believeable for the characters written.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: high school

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Marcia

There's enough here to understand her motivations regarding why she starts a "rumor." *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Kiya, it is always a pleasure to pop into your port and read your stories. I think I found this in a newsletter and of course I like Adele and the title to this story enticed me to read. Everything is spot on, and I know this is something that's happened a 100 times in high school. Readers can easily relate to what Marcia is experiencing. A very enjoyable story that's easy to read and relate to.

#1 2009 Review signature
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Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE CNOTES

cNotes with Attitude offers engaging graphics and snarky tidbits about writing and reading.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

For the snark in you. I think they would definately bring out a smile on a bad day.

*Star* ENGAGING

The cNotes invites the reader to buy.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the cNote collections that offered. I thought the cNotes were very affordable. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration

Review Signature
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Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE CNOTES

(de) Motivational cNotes offers encouragement to keep on writing, even when you encounter an obstacle in your path. The cNotes can be used year around.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

The cNotes brought out a chuckle in me. The word play and graphics are a perfect match.

*Star* ENGAGING

The cNotes invites the reader to buy.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The introduction defines the reason and use for the cNote collection. I thought the cNotes were very affordable. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration
Review Signature
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245
Review of Secret Pal cNotes  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE CNOTES

Secret Pal cNotes offers whismical graphics that will touch the heart of the person receiving it.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

The graphics fit the theme of the selection. (secret pal)

*Star* ENGAGING

The cNotes invites the reader to buy.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the cNote collections that offered. I might also offer a blurb (short intro - 25-50 words to talk about the benefit of using the cNotes. I thought the cNotes were reasonably priced. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration

Review Signature
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Review of WDC cNotes II  
Review by StephB
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE CNOTES

WDC cNotes II offers engaging graphics. The selected cNote acts as a coupon to be redeemed for several items like Merit Badges and Awardicons around the site.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the graphics used in the cNotes. I thought they were appealing to the eye.

*Star* ENGAGING

The cNotes invites the reader to buy.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a nice variety of notes.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the cNote collections that offered. I thought the cNotes were reasonably priced considering the coupon they offered *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration
Review Signature
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247
Review of Taming the Muse  
Review by StephB
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Taming the Muse engages the reader discusses Wdc challenges and an injury to the author.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the honesty behind the postings.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. Some were about Wdc writing challenges and others were more personal.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. The author sounded very approachable.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
Reviewed by StephB
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Review by StephB
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

What's She Up to now? Jody's Life Blog engages the reader talking about WDc, North Carolina, and life.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the honesty and sincerity behind the day-to-day postings. As I reader, I appreciated it.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. Some discussed her home in North Carolina, a friend's visit, photography, WDc activities and PTSD.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. The author's voice is expressive and draws a reader in.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal, for example You Tube links. I might also suggest sharing some pictures from your photography class. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
Reviewed by StephB
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Review by StephB
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Closer to the Truth engages the reader using you tube, poetry, and thoughts on writing.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the post about the Led Zeppelin plagerism case.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted twice on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. Some were poetry, some share You Tube videos that touched on the viewer's emotions.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. The poetry was very expressive and easy to see in the mind's eye.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. There were links to other items by the author. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Glowing Steph
Reviewed by StephB
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for entry "They Are Too Young
Review by StephB
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

This poem takes a look at the young service men and women in the military and all the challenges they face.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending and and the tone it ended on.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with the 1st and 2nd lines rythming and the 3/4th lines of each stanza rythming.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem is expressive and heartfelt. This was an entry for the Bard's Hall Contest, MAY 2016

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

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