| My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Norman goes through the motions of his life only to be thrown a curve ball at the end of the day.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the take on the futuristic world. Very good world building.
This is told in the third person from Norman's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "I would definitely like that," Elena replied as she moved a little further onto the couch.
MY SUGGESTION: Elena moved a little further onto the couch. "I would definitely like that."
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses, including smell. What does the dystopian world smell like? Stale and metallic? Crisp? Flowers?
TIME: distant future
PLACE: urban setting?
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
There's enough here to understand his apprehensions. He wants more out of his life, but the City discourages it.
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes. I might suggest spelling out "OK" as "okay" in manuscript writing. "OK" is good journalistic writing, but most editors want to see "okay."
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening describes Norman's world, using a good economy of words. The opening doesn't linger, instead it makes the reader wonder why "The City" is the way it is, drawing the reader into the story. Write on!