My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Challenge SEP 2020.
THE POEM
The poem is about a snow/winter queen who rules over a barren land.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the poem framed the life of the queen.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem with no specific rythme scheme, but there are rythmes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "the dusty field, the muddy road, that garden had once been hoed." It paints a vivid scene in my mind as a reader.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Nice expression. I like the poem challenges the reader to think about the life the snow/winter queen led and fill in the blanks. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Challenge SEP 2020.
THE POEM
The poem takes a heartbreaking look at how Alzheimer's effects the person who has it, and the caregiver.
WHAT I LIKED
Another solid poem that tells a story. Good emotional expression.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem with an BB rythme scheme. I liked the rythmic flow of the stanzas.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked the stanza: "No longer you remember..." as it paints a visual picture as to how Alzhiemers robs one of memories.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Nice word play. The poem evokes emotion in an effortless way. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.
THE ESSAY
The essay makes the arugment that women should consider and enter more technological fields.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author suggested that men should mentor/teach women in the field. For me, I think it's a win/win in that it brings people together to build mutual respect.
POWER OF ARUGMENT
I would suggest using specific examples to add to the power of the arugment. I searched for "women in a tech field personal stories" and I found a bunch of personal stories that would resonate with readers.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a light edit for punctuation. I would also create a few more paragraphs to to highlight the points the author wants to stick out.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's an opportunity to talk about specific tech, but mostly tech is talked about in general.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. There's a lot of potential to be developed. It's a good topic to explore.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.
THE POEM
A look at death and a comparison of reading a good book, having a good end.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the comparison and how the poem compared life/death to reading a book.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There were no rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. If anything, I might suggest a light edit for puncutation to assist the flow of the poem. The poem is easy to read.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.
THE POEM
The night wraps the author in a warm embrace and yet, is it as warm as it implies? The author explores this question.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There were some strategic rhymes, but no set patterns.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a light edit for punctuation/capitalization as I think it will assist the flow in which the reader reads the poem. I am curious about the capitalization and lack of capitalization of "i" in the poem. I think the lower case "i" would be served by stronger punctuation. The poem is easy to read.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing this poem for the Angel Army Newbie Challenge SEP 2020.
THE POEM
A heartfelt, inspirational poem that reminds the reader that you are never alone.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play; it deepened the expression of the poem. There was a rhythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. The 1st and 3rd stanza of each line stanza rythmed.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Punctuation was light, but appropriate. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked the opening line: "You are not alone, you never walk alone." Right away it sets a tone for the poem which is hopeful and upbeat.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I liked how the poem came full circle using a nature motif. The wind offers whispers for us -- we cannot be afraid to listen. Great expression!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. I am reviewing a newbie for the Angel Army Challenge for SEP 2020.
THE POEM
The poem talks about love and it's effects on one's soul.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the idea of love being eternal and than exploring that dynamic.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem.
MECHANICS
The poem is easy to read. The first line of every sentence is capitalized. I might suggest some punctuation, only in that would assist the reader with rhythm and flow.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked the opening line. It grabbed my attention right away.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
This is the type of poem that you can really expand, especially with the ocean comparison. Love is such a powerful topic for a poem. The ending could have had an ocean reference tying it back to the beginning.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem talks of sharing experiences and friendship.
WHAT I LIKED
I think a lot of readers can relate with similar experiences.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There was no set rythme scheme.
MECHANICS
Capitalization is not standard and the only punctuation is at the end of the poem. If anything I might suggest a light edit for punctuation and words that need a space. (example: Eachother) The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Useless talk" as it implies more than the words suggest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
A look at how the struggle is real to answer the daily question: "What's for dinner?"
WHAT I LIKED
I have struggled with this question for years. And the author nailed it!! I work all day, I'm exhausted. I have no energy to put dinner together so it's "let's order out!" This essay was written in 2004 but it's still relevant in 2020!
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I loved how the author reviewed the daily challenges of dinner and then offered a solution with the crock pot. I have one, I don't use it enough. For now I'm just trying to hang in there.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
A look at how Hooves aka tHiNg approaches reviews and gives tips on what to look for in a good review.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the bit on how to react to a review, be it good or bad. It's solid advice.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I loved the use of WDC. It made the essay easy to read.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. I agree that a review should encourage you as a writer. This is a good essay to read if you're starting out here on WDC because it frames how one should approach the critics. As usual, Hooves unique imagination and creativity shines through. Expressive and honest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A day in the life of Misty and Sammy.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author captured the everyday drama in the life of dogs.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person by Misty and Sammy. There is a line break used appropriately for the narration shift. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. It feels very natural and organic to the story.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. The challenge to set the descriptions in the context of the dialogue. I can easily picture a house with two loving pets who like to play ball and eat doggie treats.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: house
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Misty and Sammy
They are two heartwarming dogs who bring happiness.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
If anything I might clarify if Julie owns both dogs. I wasn't certain on that point. The opening enages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Arie just wants to play.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the dialogue was very succinct and easy to figure out.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 1st person by Arie. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. I thought the dialogue was very organic and natural.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. I like how the dialogue implies that Arie and his human are outside. I'm picturing a dog park, but honestly, it would be anywhere outside.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: outside
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Arie
Arie is a playful dog.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I have suggestion. As written: "Arie, Common, I don't have all day!" The correct spelling would be, "Arie, Come on (or C'mon), I don't have all day!"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I could easily picture a playful dog giving their human a hard time. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A realistic dialogue about a cat wanting to catch a mouse.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the imagination used in the story. I could totally picture a spoiled rotten cat.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 1st person by SmiLing. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
The prompt is to create a dialogue between the internal voice of a pet and their human. I loved how the dialogue embodied SmiLing's personality.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. This can be a challenge because the descriptions need to organically fit the dialogue. I liked how the dialogue just captured SmIling's lack of desire to catch that mouse.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: house
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
SmiLing
Clearly the cat thinks there are better things in life that to catch a mouse.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything, I might space the lanes so it's easier on the WDC's eyes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned before. The opening engages the reader. The ending was perfect for SmiLing's lack of motivation. Maybe next time they'll put forth a little effort to get that mouse. A very entertaining vignette. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Sandy Supposes engages the reader using everyday stories to draw the reader in.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the sincerity behind each post. I especially liked the story/post about how the author's dad liked to cook.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog had a nice, conversational tone, but I might suggest spacing between the paragraphs on WDC to make it easier on the eyes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more WDC ML and links for a visual appeal. I enjoyed visiting your blog. By my count, I had 9 individual days for June for the Bard's Hall Contest, 1 day short for the contest. Keep blogging and exploring!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
The Kingdom engages the reader with heartfelt stories of what it was like growing up.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the honesty behind the entries. They were very endearing.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. The author uses YouTube to post links to memorable songs.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts, of what it was like growing up. I think a lot of people can connect the struggles as they are similar to every generation.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog, though the introduction does a good job with with words letting the reader know what to expect. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Writings in the Sand engages the reader with the author telling us a little about themselves cats, and political divisiveness. Ditto about Edgar Allen Poe.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the title. It suit the blog well. Nice musings that were sincere, yet washed away easy when the tide came in.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. Several WDC community members left comments.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts. I liked how the author talked about themselves, WDC and mused about stuff.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. Some posts had an "edgy" expressive tone to them.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
This is just a meat and potatoes blog. There's no fancy graphics or much WDC ML which I might suggest to throw in a few to help establish the mood/tone of the blog. I liked the word play of the introduction, and I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
On the Write Path engages the reader by sharing travels and adventures.
WHAT I LIKED
I love traveling. I think you learn a lot more about a place if you can go to it.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage.
VARIETY
The posts engaged the reader using a nice, conversational voice.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, light tone to the posts.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
Good use of graphics in the introduction to set the mood/tone of the tone. The title grabs the reader. I enjoyed visiting your blog. If anything, there weren't enough entries in June for the Bard's Hall Contest. Keep blogging!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Blog engages the reader by sharing tidbits from her porch in Montana.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author built the theme of observing life from her porch in Montana
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.
VARIETY
The posts had a nice variety and mainly talked about daily life and the struggles/challenges that readers can relate to.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. There was a nice, warmhearted tone to the posts.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more easy going.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal. My last suggestion might to give your blog another name other than "blog" Maybe? "Observations from the Porch?" "Montana Porch?" Suggestions only. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Sudden change grips the mind, the rails shake, will it end?
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed the imagery of the poem as well as the design.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. It is presented in written form in such a way that the reader needs to read it to appreciate the presentation.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "the crumbling of your mind, the deterioration of your soul, the undoing of your world."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The 3rd stanza paints a gripping visual and evokes heartfelt emotion. The poem accelerates after that, taking the reader on a ride of change and how it can affect people. The last word is heart stopping. Very good expression.
Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Sudden change transforms the old norms to the newer ones.
WHAT I LIKED
I enjoyed the word play. It grabbed my attention and held it.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Sudden change is the Frankenstein we all fear."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem draws inspiration from the prompt well. I loved the progression from the change, the death of the old, the apocalypse, the new. The short lines build tension and suspense well.
Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
An old church experiences radical change.
WHAT I LIKED
I needed the note at the end of the poem to help give me perspective, but once I had it, and re-read the poem, everything clicked for me. The poem possesses heartbreaking resonance.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There are no rhymes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem requires the reader to slow down and let the words sink in.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "But it hurts inside as slips away something that gave us purpose."
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The poem tells a heartbreaking of story of the old lost and the new change, and asks the question: "Is sudden change a good thing?" Line count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules. I have no suggestions for improvement. The title fits the poem well.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem dealt with sudden change and how one reacts to it. It is inspired by the Mary Shelley quote: "Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change."
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play; it deepened the experession of the poem. There was a rythmic flow that I experienced when I read the poem. This flow grabbed me and held me fixed.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There were some stragetic rhymes, but no set patterns.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "like clanging cymbals to the mind"
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Good use of "distortion, disruption, desolation, despair," to emotionally grab the reader. The ending leaves the reader with uncertainty, as all change does. Well written. I have no suggestions for improvement. LIne count and notes were listed in accordance with the contest rules.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall
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