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551 Public Reviews Given
551 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I felt that the activity the author chooses to do each day is more a spiritual journey rather than a physical activity. Of course, your body benefits as do the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your being.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
"In many ways its 40 minutes of meditation, a meditation that reveals a wonderful truth"
This provides reason enough to do this activity in my opinion. When isn't Truth something to be sought after?


Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to change the font size to make it easier to read.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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127
127
Review of hiraeth  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was an interesting introduction to a word I've not seen before. I love language and words, so this was right up my alley.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I would however make a minor correction, this definition is not simply about a world not real, it is about the loss of fundamental place in our heart and relating to not being where one belongs.

"liken it to a homesickness tinged with grief and sadness over the lost or departed, especially in the context of Wales and Welsh culture."


Suggestions:
I think this is an interesting concept and it would be desirable to hear a poem or a short story from this unique perspective.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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128
128
Review of Reverie  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I feel the grief you had for this broken relationship, I feel the questions about why this had to happen and in that way. I see the withdrawal you sensed before the words came, the words you never heard.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I, too, had moments of pain where I dreamed it recurring over and over, making you feel the pain and grief many times over. This is why the grieving process has so many stages, each stage is not simply one into another, but a back and forth movement of refusing to accept the fact of a situation. I enjoy the feelings you present.

Grammar
I think that you should use sentence breaks and paragraphs to make this more readable. Punctuation and grammatical rules are important. It is pretty much a run-on sentence and difficult to make into meaningful parts.


Suggestions:
I suggest you use a larger font to make it easier to read.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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129
129
Review of Names  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I really liked this evaluation of the importance of a name. It is part of one's identity, an identifier of who one is. People who have difficult names to spell or remember are burdened more with the inconvenience but with irritation, anger, and frustration.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
It is a shame that parents/people do not take into account that the simple process of naming a thing (child, pet, etc) can have long-lasting repercussions.


Suggestions:
It would be easier to read with a larger font. I see nothing that needs to be changed.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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130
130
Review of Echoes of Wisdom  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was a highly enjoyable poem, a discussion on how people of various ages view the progress toward maturity and the end-stages of life. I also enjoyed the fact that this is a way of progressing in life with a beloved partner.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The author writes about being at the final climbing just past the prime of life, entering the fall of their life. Very nicely elicited, good imagery.

I believe that life is NOT a journey, so much as a series of plateaus to live and enjoy each level of life... the infant and child stages, the young adult stages, the more mature prime of life stages, the apex of experience stages, and then the declining stages. Each plateau has its own challenges and enjoyment to be had, with no comparison to the other stages through which each person passes.


Suggestions:
I see no need for changes, it stands alone.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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131
131
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This is clearly a statement of political satisfaction and opinion. I don't share your political enthusiasm for the Vice President, but I support your theory of societal improvement.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The tone is one of hopeful contemplation of the future, working toward equal rights with all people. It is an upbeat suggestion of cooperation of unity.


Suggestions:
I suggest using a larger font for easier reading. There are a few grammatical and punctuation errors, perhaps a slow read to find those errors would be in order.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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132
132
Review of Reflections  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was a fun look at using words and meanings in a creative way. I really enjoy stretching words to their 'nth degree.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This was a tone of irony, it eschews reason and direct discussion. :)


Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to use a larger font. I enjoyed this play with words.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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133
133
Review of Time Bound  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was a poem rich in tones and feelings of darkness. Time, that faithless bitch, takes and takes give naught back.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
Nicely done, this is vivid wording and imagery. "Gored by minutes and hours, in the running of the clocks"... gore like the running of the Bulls.
I really felt the struggle of the passing of eternity.


Suggestions:
This poem stands alone, no need for changes.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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134
134
Review of Cello player  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was very artistic and musical, I love the allusion of playing an instrument correlating to playing in love.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
'I would be his cello, feel his hand caress my wood'.. very erotic and it goes from there. Beautiful.

Grammar
"Birthing Barber
or the strains of Jupiter"
Is that meant to be an "Or"?


Suggestions:
I suggest you use larger font, makes it easier to read.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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135
135
Review of Connor's view  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I was drawn by the tone in this poem, I am also an artist and I do paint with acrylics. I felt that there was a melancholy feel to this work. That there was a hint of sadness and displeasure with the world.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
'No eye's delight today', and 'daubed with joy and sighs'. These lines were well thought out and portrays the apparent feelings of despondency.


Suggestions:
A larger font would make this easier to read.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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136
136
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The author seems to be seeking love and romance but has not found a specific partner on this quest. "Waiting for something to come and surprise".

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This line didn't make sense to me:
"Of lovers entwined with soul riching might"
I am not sure what riching meant here.


Suggestions:
Definitely enlarge the font, it was quite a challenge to read but I loved the font itself. This was not really a specific statement to me, it seems to ramble a bit.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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137
137
Review of The Apostate  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I had a strong reaction to this because I am following my own path of finding peace. This was well-presented as a spiritual journey and I enjoyed reading it.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This was a well-written form, following the rules it appears very consistent. I liked how the rotation of the three words 'peace', 'ansewr', and 'sigh' were used. Totally viable and workable.


Suggestions:
The only suggestion I have is to enlarge the font to see the italics more easily.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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138
138
Review of Time  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The poem is a straightforward look at how life goes on regardless of the character's (and audience's) wishes.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This was well-written, flowed well, and did not seem forced at all. Time really does march on and the inevitable tell-tales show up. I love the line "settling in for an extended stay". Very funny.


Suggestions:
I'd put single quotes around 'time is marching on' it's said. There is a quote within the body of the text. I'd also enlargen the font.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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139
139
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was very amusing. It went in a totally different direction than I expected.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like how you lead the reader into a misleading dance of possible romance or rebuff of romance. Then, in the end, he AND she were pickpockets! Totally fun.

Grammar
No errors noted.


Suggestions:
I suggest a larger font for your writing so the readers can read it more easily.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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140
140
Review of the paradox  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
To me, this was quite a profound little poem. Eternity flowing like molasses, equality slow and almost unmoving, yet time can flash like black powder, by in an instant and sometimes as damaging.
"There is an inherent weakness
in the thought
that the length of a minute
must equal
every other minute."


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I loved this phrase:
"While it lasted forever,
it passed too quickly
and in a flash, my nephew died"
I lived this for 6 eternally long months with my first son, so I know exactly what you are talking about.


Grammar
I saw no errors.


Suggestions:
I really loved this poem. There are a few aspects that you could tighten up on, for example combining a couple of your sentences into a meaningful whole to make the idea flow more easily. I really appreciated reading this.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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141
141
Review of Harney Peak  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This sounds like a person who enjoys taking in the sights of various National Parks and feels that the simpler places are more meaningful, perhaps.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like the refrain: "But I like the quiet dream times I have spent on Harney Peak." I also liked the description: "The wind blew softly through the pines with a bite and chill".

Grammar
No errors noted.


Suggestions:
I would check your punctuation.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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142
142
Review of Sweet Revenge  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This is a particularly poisonous mind who delights in her significant other's errors of judgment.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
"It feels good to spot you deceived," and "as I watch you suffer." These are grim thoughts and feelings of a relationship. It seems as though they are a couple, but if they are it is probably not going to last very long.

Grammar
no grammatical errors noted.


Suggestions:
I suggest you make the font larger to read the poem more easily. I can think of nothing to improve except maybe writing a couple of lines explaining when the animosity started.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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143
143
Review of Winter haiku  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
My impression was a very cold day warming just enough to melt some icicles that are dripping. Could it be nearing Spring? I am feeling a sense of anticipation, as if it might be dawning Spring, soon.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I see a gleaming set of teeth, myself, like saliva dripping. Very clever use of imagery.


Grammar
no errors noted.


Suggestions:
I suggest you use a larger font to make it easier to read.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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144
144
Review of "If"  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
My overall impression is a person who has a lot to say but doesn't... yet. Why? You have to wonder if there is a reason.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This person writes as though they wonder why they don't say more about their feelings, too. I would say that is time and more to say something.

Grammar
The rhyming seems haphazard, some lines follow these patterns: aabb and others are xaxa


Suggestions:
I like this wondering work, but I would pay attention to how you want to present it.. as a series of rhyming lines or as a simple straightforward poem.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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145
145
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was too fun. I didn't have any kids around my house but there was a 3 story hill beside the barn and we would toboggan down that hill and as far across the meadow as we could. It was terrific fun! I really miss those carefree days.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
The imaginative words you use are great... "It was surfing with reins", "The best sleds were the slat wood type with the metal runners". Brings back some major memories of snow forts and caves made of snow.

Grammar
I found no errors.


Suggestions:
I see nothing to change.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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146
146
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
This was a quaint way to present a poem, especially from the point of view of the tree! I was expecting gruesome laments and wails of pain from the tree, but you didn't and I am glad. :)

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This is a cutely written Christmas wish for all to enjoy the season and the blessings that come with it. It's kind of like spun sugar cotton candy ... attractive and pleasing but not really substantial. And that is really okay, too.

Grammar
No errors noted.


Suggestions:
No suggestions to be made at this time.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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147
147
Review of Decisions  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I get an "Andy Griffith" feel when I read this. The little kid could be Opie. It is intriguing how mom really IS an alien and seems to feel regret that she is being 'rescued'.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
This is a very straightforward story and suddenly that little fillip at the end makes you realize there is a WHOLE lot more to the story than Opie and his dad!! Fun!


Grammar
I saw no errors at all.


Suggestions:
The story is working out interesting, I have nothing to add or suggest.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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148
148
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
As far as I am concerned you hill the nail on the head. Respect, courtesy, compassion, and many other qualities have fallen by the wayside. It makes me grieve for our country. But it makes me grieve more for future generations. At least you and I can REMEMBER those qualities, children and young adults now don't even have those memories.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
You were lucid and very accurate in your descriptions of the moral depravity we are slowly inexorably moving toward. I liked how your rhymes fit in, I saw very few 'forced' words.
Loved these lines:

"Disagree? You're in contempt;
we've lost all sense of civility.
Nothing's off-limits or exempt.
We're no longer a community."


Grammar
no errors noted


Suggestions:
I think you have written a viable work with no need of suggestions by me.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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149
149
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
I feel the same way when I go back to my older work. To me, my work seems childish, unfinished, and incomplete. This is distressing to me because I feel cluttered. I have many partially completed canvases, drawings, paintings, propped up in corners, in portfolios, etc. It niggles me as it seems to do for you.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like how you evaluate yourself by asking questions of value... whether the work is valuable in itself or needs to be completed to be meaningful. I, too, have seen the fragments of genius and inspiration in my work and cannot seem to complete. 'maybe later' I say.

Grammar
No problems noted.


Suggestions:
If you feel distressed about these snippets, recopy them to a volume of just those snippets. You can use them to launch newer work that borrows from your past.

Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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150
150
Review of Winter Touches  
Review by Sherasi
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem on Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
The words you use are abrupt and forceful, appropriate for the images this text presents. The emotions are harsh and resigned to winter.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:
I like the way your words form vivid pictures.
"gnashing teeth
spewing shards of glass"
those are quite spectacularly stated. I also like how the winter starts out with swans feather lightness into that bruising knuckles, snap the pine. Provocative words, strong interest.


Grammar
No errors noted.


Suggestions:
I suggest using a larger font to make it easier to read.


Thank you for sharing your poem. Write On!

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