spidey's (spidergirl) Reviews

spidey

Review Requests: ON

1,184 Public Reviews Given

1,616 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.

I'm good at...

attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!

Favorite Genres

Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Religion, Sports

Favorite Item Types

Short Stories, Poetry, Essays

Least Favorite Item Types

Novels (I just don't have that much time)

I will not review...

There is very little I won't review. Try me!

326

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1370717

Review of Weeping Willows

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Diana Joyce

This is my review for "Weeping Willows"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I absolutely loved the beautiful imagery in this poem! I've always loved weeping willow trees, and I love this image you've created of them!

I also loved the soft and elegant tone of this poem. I think this is my favorite line:

Weeping willows have one song,
Soft gentle and eternally long.

The rhyme scheme is great in this poem! It works great to create a really good rhythm, without distracting the reader from the great imagery! Also, the lines contained approximately the same amount of syllables, which really helps the rhythm of the poem. Great job!!

I also liked the use of punctuation in this poem. It works very well to aid in the flow and rhythm of the poem!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

The last stanza:

Weeping willows have one song,
Soft gentle and eternally long.
Listen carefully to hear them sing,
But sorrow I'm afraid is all it'll bring. The beautiful song you so long to hear,
Is the ever soft rhythm of their falling tears.

The 4th and 5th lines are on the same line. It's just a typo, I thought I'd let you know about it, in case you didn't see it.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

327

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1370357

Review of Tnepres Eht

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (2.5)

Hi kutulu

This is my review for "Tnepres Eht"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! What first attracted me to this poem is the title. It's very clever!

Strengths:

I enjoyed the simple form of the poem. The four line stanzas create a great rhythm to the poem.

I also enjoyed the simple language of the poem. It was easy and enjoyable to read!

Grammar/Spelling:

I watched the walls
As the crumbled down

I think you may have meant for the word the to be they.

Suggestions:

I like the simple language of the poem, but to me it seemed to lack something. You may want to consider adding more imagery to the poem. It could help create more emotion in the tone of the poem.

It seems like the rhyme scheme of this poem is very restricting. You may want to consider experimenting with the poem. Try longer lines, or even free verse. Just a suggestion!

Also, I suggest using punctuation in the poem. Punctuation can be a great tool to affect the flow and rhythm of a poem.

My rating:

2.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

328

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1369370

Review of Fettuccine Alfredo

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Scottiegazelle

This is my review for "Fettuccine Alfredo"

What a great sequel! I enjoyed this one just as much as the first!!

Strengths:

I'm enthralled by this story! I do hope you write more of them!

The writing in this story is superb, just like the first, and it carries over the great satirical tone!

I loved the end! It was a perfect ending to the story!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

329

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1369365

Review of Fettuccine

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Treerose

This is my review for "Fettuccine"

Thanks for sharing this great short story! My husband thinks I'm crazy now, because I tried to explain to him the premise of this story. I said the word, "Noodlians," and burst out laughing! That has to be one of the funniest words to say that I've ever heard!

Strengths:

I absolutely love this story! I love the satirical tone to it, and the comedy and drama and sadness. It just amazed me!

The story is written extremely well, which made it very easy and enjoyable to read.

I instantly identified with Fettucine, as I think most readers would. She's a great character!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I found myself wondering what Fettucine looks like. Do the Noodlians look like 'normal' people? Perhaps it's in the sequel, I'll be reading that next!

My rating:

5.0 - Excellent job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

330

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1369290

Review of Monotony

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Steven Lear

This is my review for "Monotony"

Thanks for sharing this great short story!

Strengths:

I loved the dual themes here: The main character is trapped in familiarity and repetitive motions, while the reader is getting it all for the first time. It was very interesting reading this! I really enjoyed it!

The description in this short piece was great! I had a clear image of the action taking place, and the description worked well to create an eerie tone.

I really enjoyed the end! It was a perfect ending!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

331

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1369238

Review of Words

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi thea marie

This is my review for "Words"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I love the theme of the poem, as you've stated in the description: about the things words can do, the power they have when arranged just so.... I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this idea!

I really like the simple structure and form you've used here, with the centered lines and minimal punctuation. It really helps focus the attention on the content of the poem.

I loved the juxtaposition of the last two lines! It creates a great image!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I'm a little conflicted. On one hand, I like what's here so much that I want more. On the other hand, however, I think it works great being so simple.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you would be interested in a free verse poetry contest, check out this:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

332

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1368701

Review of The Last Guardian

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Jack Goldman

This is my review for "The Last Guardian"

Thanks for sharing this very cool short story!

Strengths:

I loved the tone of the story, as it is told in the perspective of a dying race. It was a very interesting twist. I guessed it by the end, but I think that you meant for the reader to, and I still very much enjoyed the end.

The last line is great! It is almost elegant in its tone.

I also enjoyed the first person point-of-view. I think it really helped me identify with the narrator and 'his people.'

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you are at all interested in free verse poetry, check out this contest:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

333

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1368444

Review of The Knock

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi John Winter

This is my review for "The Knock"

Thanks for sharing this very touching story!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the amount of description in the story. I get a very clear sense of what is going on. Some of the sentences were particularly good at describing the tone and emotion of the story. This line was one of my favorites:

I reach for it with a shaky hand and bring the mouth of the glass to my lips.

I liked how the story was written with almost very little emotion. It reads like a step-by-step account of what the narrator is doing. It reflects well the lack of emotion the narrator is feeling, yet the comfort he gets in movements and actions that are familiar. For me, the first half of the story was almost emotionless. I didn't feel sad about the death, until I got to this line:

Both of these picture were perfectly centered -- amazing for a six year old.

After that line, the rest of the story conveyed a great deal of emotion for me, although the narrator was still feeling no emotion. I think that one line really changed the entire tone of the story. Well done!

I really enjoyed the first person point-of-view in this story; I don't think it would have worked in any other point-of-view.

I also found it interesting that you used the present tense in the story. I think it worked very well here, as may help the readers feel more connected with the narrator and the actions taking place.

The story is written very well, which made it easy and enjoyable to read.

Your characterization of John is very good. I had a very clear sense of his character.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

My step-mom sits down on a chair beside me, my dad on a chair across me, and Andrea takes the last chair in front of her mom.

I would suggest adding the word from in between the words across and me.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you are at all interested in free verse poetry, check out this contest:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

334

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1367587

Review of Unfading Regret

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi liza83

This is my review for "Unfading Regret"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! I like the theme of the poem. I think it's one that many people can relate to.

Strengths:

The poem has a great rhythm to it! I enjoyed the rhyme scheme that you've used for the poem.

I think the last four lines were the most powerful of the poem. They really captured the theme and tone of the poem.

I also really enjoyed the language you've used in the poem. The words you've used help create a great tone. For instance, "festering wound," "tattered heart," and "unfading regret."

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

My only suggestion is to consider using punctuation in the poem. Punctuation can be a great tool to affect the flow and rhythm of a poem. Just a suggestion!

My rating:

4.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Also, if you are at all interested in free verse poetry, check out this contest:
"Spidey's Weekly Poetry Contest"

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

335

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1366492

Review of Fatal Exception:Kiss of Death

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi S. Tilghman Hawthorne

This is my review for "Fatal Exception:Kiss of Death"

Thanks for sharing this great story! It was hilarious!!

Strengths:

I can certainly relate to this story! Great subject matter.

The story is very well-written, and enjoyable to read!

I loved the ending! Hilarious!!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

336

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1366357

Review of The Shifting Sand

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi billwilcox

This is my review for "The Shifting Sand"

Wow!! What an amazing story!! From the very beginning, I was captivated by the great descriptions!!

Strengths:

The descriptions were so good in this story! I could clearly picture what it was like for Jack to try to survive on the surface of Saturn.

Your characterization of Jack is great! I could really identify with him, and I felt like I was struggling to live, along with him!

Great writing! This story was really enjoyable to read!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

337

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1366057

Review of Just Leave

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi poisonivy

This is my review for "Just Leave"

Thanks for sharing this great story! Writing a 55 word story is no easy task! Great job!!

Strengths:

I love the simple and elegant tone of the story. In just a few words, you convey a great deal of emotion! Well done!

I like the fact that you don't use any names in the story. It makes the story seem more personal and emotional.

I really like the title. It really fits the story!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I don't have any suggestions for the story. It's great as it is!

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

338

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1366017

Review of Reflector

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Smurfette

This is my review for "Reflector"

Thanks for sharing this great story! I was pleasantly surprised to learn the story was about twins! I have an identical twin, so I felt I could relate to the story. I'm not so sure I can relate to it, though, but that's not a bad thing! I loved the story! It's not the typical twin story!

Strengths:

Your writing is excellent! I loved that the story was written in first person point of view. You create such a great tone for the narrator. These were some of my favorite lines:

I am not the stuff that dreams are made of. I know this, and so does Daryl.

I think this is one of the best openings to a story I've ever read. It really set the tone for the entire story!

My house was messy and inaccurate, as was I.

Another great line! You've certainly got a way with words here!

I loved the whole mirror image/reflection theme and imagery in the story. It is carried evenly throughout the story, and was a great device for conveying the message!

Grammar/Spelling:

He has stopped watching me I will stay trapped here forever, catching all the flickers of him that snag long enough.

I wasn't sure about this one, if you meant for this to be one whole sentence. I would suggest adding a period after the word me.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

339

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1365769

Review of Hiccups and Lost Voices

Review by spidey

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi feelingfine

This is my review for "Hiccups and Lost Voices"

What a great story! I know exactly how the narrator felt! Thanks for sharing this!

Strengths:

I loved the emotion in the story! It really came through in the writing. I loved these lines:

She begins to walk closer to my desk- I avoid any eye contact at all- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t call on me!

and

I hear the theme song of Jaws playing through my head. Duh- duh, Duh- duh, duh- duh- nananana! AH!!!!!!

Some of the story had me cringing, as I knew exactly what the narrator was going through, and other parts had me laughing out loud! Well done!

Your characterization is great!! I'm not sure if this is a true story, but it feels like it is, and that's a good thing! You've really done well in capturing the essence of the moment!

Grammar/Spelling:

“It was such a sad,, but common, ending to her. Being stoned out of school, the students took no pity.”

Delete the extra comma after sad.

I close my eyes and wait for the laughing to begin- my mom sucks!

I was confused by the phrase my mom sucks!, as there was no mention of the narrator's mom anywhere else in the story.

I am dieing of humiliation, I feel warmth cross my face, and I know I look too much like an apple

The word dying is misspelled.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed reading this!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

340

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1365356

Review of Curtis

Review by spidey

Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)

Hi Zaring

This is my review for "Curtis"

What a cute and hilarious story!! The image before the picture is what makes this story really great! The picture is so cute and funny!!

Strengths:

Your characterization of Curtis is great! It seems that you've captured the essence of a squirrel in this story!

Your writing is great! It is straightforward and delightful, which makes the story easy and enjoyable to read!

Grammar/Spelling:

I’ve even ran across a few that have tried to ignore me,

ran should be changed to run to keep the past tense of the story.

Twitching his tale in a last ditch effort to get her attention

tale should be spelled - tail.

While she certainly hadn’t paid him no mind and he didn’t owe her anything, he still felt like he should check up on her.

The word no should be changed to any.

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I loved this story!! Thanks so much for sharing it, and good luck with the contest!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

341

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1365164

Review of Fictitious Dentist

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Sunny Rajpal

Welcome to Writing.Com! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

This is my review for "Fictitious Dentist"

Thanks for sharing this creepy story!! I just love horror stories about the dentist! There are so many possibilities!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed this story! It was very creative and unique! Excellent job!

Your characterization of Brett is great! I got a clear sense of his personality, and could identify with him throughout the story.

The description in your story is great! You create some really great images! I really liked these lines:

The brush tumbled head-over-stem from his hand and landed in the center of the sink splattering globs of the toothpaste all over the sink. A column of steam began to wisp up from the sink.

and

Brett was the complete opposite of copasetic at the end of that last sentence, he began to dart his eyes around quickly and began to take labored breaths.

Your descriptions do well to pull the reader into the story!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I don't have any suggestions for the story. It's great as it is!

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed this story!! It reminded me of great classic horror stories! Great ending!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

342

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1364875

Review of Force of Nature

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Davy Kraken

This is my review for "Force of Nature"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the rhythm of this poem. The rhyme scheme, and movement of the poem was great. It has a great flow to it.

The use of color was very nice in the poem. It really attracts the reader's eye.

The last paragraph was very good at summing up the theme and great imagery of the poem. Well done!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed this poem!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

343

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1364869

Review of Lady In A Golden Dress

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Brenpoet

This is my review for "Lady In A Golden Dress"

Thanks for sharing this great poem! Autumn is my favorite time of year!

Strengths:

I think you've captured the essence and atmosphere of Autumn perfectly in this poem. The imagery is beautiful and elegant!

I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme and structure of this poem. It is consistent throughout the poem, which made it easy and enjoyable to read. It also created a great rhythm to the poem. Well done!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Great job! I really enjoyed this poem!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

344

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1364828

Review of Sure Shot

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi winklett in the woods

This is my review for "Sure Shot"

Wow! This is an incredibly beautiful and moving poem!

Strengths:

I love the simplicity of this poem. In so few words, there is a great deal of imagery being conveyed, and a great deal of emotion.

The form is just beautiful. This is one of those rare moments (in my opinion) where lack of capitalization and punctuation really works for a poem. It creates such an elegant and poignant tone.

The simple form, and beautiful imagery work together to create a really great rhythm and flow to the poem. Great job!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's perfect as it is.

My rating:

5.0 - Amazing job! I was really moved by this poem!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

345

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1364774

Review of The Stair that Wasn't There

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi stellina

This is my review for "The Stair that Wasn't There"

Thanks for sharing this very cool story!

Strengths:

The setting of the story is great! I could picture the hotel, and the streets of New Orleans.

I loved the tone! The whole story had an eerie feel to it. Great job!

The end was great! It fit the story perfectly!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this story!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

346

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1363876

Review of The Adventures of Winks

Review by spidey

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi TreeTree

This is my review for "The Adventures of Winks"

Thanks for sharing this very cute children's story!

Strengths:

I loved the tone of the story! I could almost hear the little fish talking, telling his story!

The writing is perfect for children, simple, yet challenging. Well done!

The story is great! It's very interesting and fun!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this story!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

347

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1363850

Review of Sir Bean

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi Vanillafire

This is my review for "Sir Bean"

Thanks for sharing this sweet poem of devotion!

Strengths:

What a cute poem! I loved the tone of adoration and devotion! It was delightful to read!

I loved the title! It is a very funny touch to the poem!

I also enjoyed the free verse form of the poem. It made the poem flow very nicely.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

The only suggestion I have is to perhaps add a physical description of the object of the poem. Just a suggestion!

My rating:

4.0 - Good job! I really enjoyed the poem!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

348

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1363820

Review of The Thief

Review by spidey

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi Shaara

This is my review for "The Thief"

What a cute and delightful story!

Strengths:

I loved the tone of the whole story. It had a light-hearted tone, and the story is told in simple language. This made the story very enjoyable to read.

I loved the end! It was so cute and funny!!

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

I have no suggestions for this piece. It's great as it is.

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this story!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

349

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1363502

Review of Palpable evil…

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hi diggle12

This is my review for "Palpable evil…"

Thanks for sharing this great story!

Strengths:

I love the description in this story! The language is very poetic, and I could clearly imagine the entire story!

Your characterizations of Rena and the serial killer are great! I get a good sense of what they looked like, as well as their personalities. They felt like unique, well-rounded characters.

I liked the end! It was a pleasant surprise!

Grammar/Spelling:

The driver didn’t seem to notice the young woman as he continued on and she relaxed a little as he speeded up a little.

The phrase a little is used twice in this one sentence. You may want to consider replacing one of them.

Suggestions:

He had no conscience whatsoever and had within the past three months robbed and killed seven people in the one mile square area Rena was strolling through wearing that same
infamous cap. Evil was his stock in trade.

The spacing in this part is a little off. The line stops after the word same. It just looked a little strange to me as I was reading.

My rating:

4.0 - Good story! I really enjoyed it!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **

350

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#1363437

Review of Blackberry Jam

Review by spidey

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi Jale DeCrittare

This is my review for "Blackberry Jam"

Thanks for sharing this great poem!

Strengths:

I really enjoyed the structure you've used here, as well as the rhyme scheme. It gave an almost comical/satirical tone to this gruesome scene! It also helped the poem flow very nicely.

The imagery in this poem is great! I loved the great description.

Grammar/Spelling:

I found no errors - Great job!

Suggestions:

My only suggestion would be to perhaps use some punctuation, especially at the ends of some of the lines. It could really help accentuate the rhythm and flow of the poem, in my opinion. Just a suggestion!

My rating:

4.5 - Great job! I really enjoyed this poem!!

Keep up the great work!!

Sincerely,
spidey

If you appreciate receiving reviews, then "Invalid Item"

** Image ID #877634 Unavailable **