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51
51
Review of Rat  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello f.x.keenan

Thank you for sharing your story.
 Rat  (13+)
Not all rats have four legs....
#2222002 by f.x.keenan
I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First ImpressionsFirst may I welcome you to WdC. I hope you find what you’re looking for here. If it’s support and helpful reviews then you’ve come to right place.
I enjoyed reading The Rat. For such a short story it packed a punch.



*StarfishB*Plot
The story involves a solitary character. He is an unofficial gravedigger. It seems as if he is the “go to” guy if you have a body of which to dispose and you want it to remain disposed of.



*StarfishB* Characters
Tommy Sheehan is the sole character. One would like to know his back story but could jump to the conclusion he’s led an “interesting “ life and not always on the right side of the law. He’d obviously done time in prison which had made him the man he was. He was proud of his ability to ensure his charge disappeared for good. I liked the idea of a manual for disposing of dead bodies, with the number one rule of always doing it alone. It certainly makes sense even though he had to do all the hard work by himself he was assured no one else knew where this rat was buried.



*StarfishB*Climax
He couldn’t over come his curiosity though and unwrapped the body to see who it was. It was someone he knew but felt his death was justified as he kicked him into the grave.




*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this piece of flash fiction.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of One Day...maybe  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for your piece. I agree with everything you wrote and so eloquently. The media have much to answer for.
53
53
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello ruwth Thank you for sharing your poem in the I write 2020 Challenge.
I always enjoy reading your work and this piece is no exception. There is a world of truth in these words and it isn’t until one personally experiences some of these changes that happen throughout, our lives one can truly appreciate the truth.
I’ve experienced many of these changes and still have a few to go, but no doubt if I’m lucky then these too I’ll adjust in time.
Thanks again for sharing. I hope you did well in the Contest.
54
54
for entry "Road Forks
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I’m reviewing this as part of I write 2020 and also as a fellow contributor in the 30 day blogging challenge.
To leave your dream job in search of better pay and conditions was certainly an understandable one. You couldn’t see anything changing or improving in the near future. Your choice to go for a start up company was risky though and one that must have given you a few sleepless nights. Start ups are notoriously fragile, you obviously felt you had no choice as every day at Marvel was making you more frustrated. Therefore I think the choice was made for you, for your own mental and physical health the need to remove yourself from the stress was the best plan.
Ironically your previous employers realised your value to their company and you were invited back, this time at the pay you’d asked for previously.
It was probably worth the inevitable worry and concern you no doubt experienced to be asked to return.
My fork in the road was to decide whether to leave our country of birth. We had family, two thriving businesses and yet my husband wasn’t happy in England. So we took a huge leap of faith, sold up everything we owned and emigrated to Australia where we knew no one. That was 48 years ago and on reflection we made the right decision.
Check out Robert Waltz’s blog on the prompt. He has an interesting theory which I’m not sure I subscribe to. He seems to think we have no say in our decisions. They are made for us.
Anyway I really enjoyed reading about your dilemma and how it all turned out.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
for entry "Cooking Submissive
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I enjoyed reading about your culinary skills. Even the best of cooks have failures in the kitchen and it sounds as if you’re a good a cook as most of us. Seasoning usually refers simply to salt and pepper. Adding herbs must be called something else, these are always in the main body of the recipe. Salt is such a personal taste. I never add extra salt at the table whereas my daughter always adds salt to everything before even tasting and eating, which is a strange habit. I always give her the warning about high blood pressure and heart attacks and too much salt but to no avail.
What a lovely tradition to make a cake for someone every year. It’s amazing you only need to do something a couple of times and before you know it you’re locked into it.
It reminds me of buying an ornament of an elephant whilst travelling in a India and before I knew it everyone bought me elephants as presents, as apparently I COLLECT them!
The cakes you have made over the years all sound delicious but the fact you can remember them all impresses me the most.
I’ve made what seems like thousands of birthday in my life. The job always fell to me. That’s certainly not because I’m a master baker by any means. It’s just that no one else wanted the job and let’s face it children don’t care what it looks like so long it has candles and tastes good.
Thanks for sharing your kitchen experiences.
Cheers Sue
56
56
Review of Getting Lucky  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Blimprider

Thank you for sharing your story. "Getting Lucky I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I was hooked from the first moment. Impelled to keep reading to discover what may happen to poor George. I wasn’t disappointed.



*StarfishB*Plot
This story is a tale of one man’s boring, disappointing and dissatisfying life. Until at last something unexpected occurs, making him feel both uncomfortable yet excited. A strange woman seems to be inexplicably drawn to him. As much as George tries to avoid her she seeks him out.



*StarfishB* Characters
The main character is George, one wants to preclude his name with Poor George. Nothing has ever gone right for him throughout his life and he is resigned to nothing changing. He is a non descriptive, boring man, yet underneath this demeanour he has long buried desires of which he himself is hardly aware.
The femme fatale, Angelique, is beautiful, charming and dangerous. She spins her web of seduction and Poor George has no chance of escape.



*StarfishB*Climax
The ending was surprisingly shocking and one felt for Poor George as he is enveloped in bat like wings and sucked dry.


*StarfishB*Parting Comments
There was much to enjoy about this story. It was strangely erotic although very subtly so.
One thing for sure is that George’s life trajectory certainly fulfilled the bumper sticker prophecy. ‘Life sucks and then you die’ You tied that in nicely. Well done.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙 I’m reviewing your story "Conflict's Brewing as part of ‘I write 2020’ and also as a fellow classmate in ‘HSP’
I really liked the conflict between your two lovers that you have introduced this week. You certainly filled the brief of week three. How will they manage conflict? What are their different styles? Is their relationship strong enough?
It’s always builds tension when the reader knows the intentions of a character before the character who is most affected. These two, Ryan and Arlynn are both strong and interesting with distinctive personalities. I’m looking forward to reading more of their relationship as they move forward.
Cheers Sue
58
58
Review of magpies  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Charlie Carrol I saw your request on “Please Review” and decided to check it out.

Thank you for sharing your story. "magpiesI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
This really well written story took me to a place I wasn’t prepared for. I hadn’t before heard of the superstition of saluting the magpie to ward off bad luck. Maybe it’s just one pertaining to the Navy?



*StarfishB*Plot
The story is about a boy’s confusion after the death of his father and consequent despair of his mother. He tries to make sense of his new reality.
There are some really good lines such as: She moves her mouth. Maybe it was a smile in another life and ...its beady eyes boring a hole into my soul


*StarfishB* Characters
The child is the narrator of this story. We are privy to his thoughts and confusion. The mother seems to be stuck in her grief after the death of her husband and the boy’s father. We get the impression she is mentally unwell but really have no suspicion she may have had a hand in his death.



*StarfishB*Climax
The climax was actually shocking. The boy decides to face his fears of magpies and stumbles on the remains of his father. The reader is left feeling fearful for the child as he seeks an explanation. The last line gave me shivers.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for requesting a review, I look forward to reading more of your writing. Thanks for sharing.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
Review of Room  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Odessa Molinari I am reviewing this story as part of I Write 2020.

Thank you for sharing your story. "RoomI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I liked the idea of the story. Someone alone in a room trying desperately to defuse an explosive devise.



*StarfishB*Plot
The name of this person is undisclosed to the reader. The circumstances as to how he/she found themselves in the predicament weren’t described but the story comprises of them trying to save their lives in a limited time to defuse the bomb. The ending wasn’t what they’d set out to achieve unfortunately.


*StarfishB* Characters
There is just the one character beside a muffled would be assistant. As I mentioned previously this character is difficult if not impossible to describe.



*StarfishB*Climax
The whole aim of the story is to lead the reader on the journey toward the climax with the counting down of the seconds remaining before the inevitable explosion.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
I liked the concept of the story. This could have successfully been expanded. I needed to know more. Who was the would be bomb defuser? How much damage would the explosion cause? The main character was no expert by any means so why didn’t the guy from bomb disposal enter the room and do the job?
In the first paragraph you wrote:I entered the room with my gun drawn. The next sentence starts: It was empty.. This made me at first thing that the gun was empty. the room was empty reads better.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing the story, I hope you did well in the Screams contest.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
Review of What I Am  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this piece of yours. I liked it very much. Did you write as a rap song?

Well done, you have a great insight into yourself, inside and out.

Cheers Sue
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Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I’m reviewing this piece as part of ‘I write 2020.’ I’ve waited to enter my week eleven entry until I saw something I could actually review. I’m not comfortable reviewing poetry you see and there is a lot of it!
I read this essay and found it really interesting, as I too had entered the Philosophy Musings.
It is a huge question isn’t it? What makes us be the person we are? You certainly asked the right questions but do any of us know the right answers.

I agree that the school experience has a major impact on how we perceive life afterwards. The way we were treated by our teachers and school friends sets up an expectation of how we expect people to interact with us throughout the rest of our lives.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if, as you suggest, there may be a big book somewhere, wherein, besides our name, birthday and day of our death, all major events were preordained.
It wouldn’t matter whatever free will we think we have and whatever way we turned, the end result would be the same?

I must congratulate you on your successes though, I really believe they were down to you and not some whim of a superior being!
I enjoyed reading about the quirk of fate, ( fate again?) when you acquired a dog. This event set in motion your second career in law enforcement. The strange thing though it had to be that breed of dog, the same colour etc, to have made the couple stop and tell you about their dog that had been so similar. That’s really out there, isn’t it?

Anyway thanks for sharing this piece of writing, I so enjoyed reading about your life and it’s twists and turns.
We will never know if you would have ended up just as you are now even if you’d made different choices.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
Review of Pale October  
Review by Sumojo
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Leahpatra I’m reviewing this story as part of an Anniversary Review as I noticed you were celebrating four years with WdC. Congratulations.
I loved this sweet story. A boy who thinks he’s special and cool, condescends to ring a girl for a date. He just needs someone to take to the Hallowe’en dance.

The dialogue flowed quite naturally during the phone call. The ending was funny as he was bowled over by Morisha’s good looks.

My suggestions are to make the story easier to read, the second paragraph particularly, would be to start a separate line every time a new speaker says something. I found it difficult to follow the conversation as it was written.

ante meridiem should read ante meridian. she was quit pleased quite.
she was a beauty. And... she was a beauty and...

Thank you for sharing this story.

Reviewed by Sumojo
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

63
63
Review of Foster Parenting  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Puditat This is an anniversary review as I noticed you were celebrating many years as a member of WdC. Congratulations.
I loved reading this piece showcasing a little of the experiences you have had whilst being a foster carer.
I know you and your husband are the special people this world needs more of.
I know you don’t do it for the accolades, parenting is a difficult task at the best of times, no one gives out prizes for it. However to open your home and hearts for children in need is something not everyone can do.
I’m absolutely sure your reward will be when those children are grown and appreciate what you did for them.
Children are honest and when they feel safe and secure they do give out the gift of love and smiles. I know you get plenty of those too.
Thank you so much for writing about this experience of yours. I so enjoyed reading it.

Reviewed by Sumojo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of Accidental Date  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello bas

Thank you for sharing your story. "Accidental DateI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
For a short flash fiction story you managed to uncover a complex situation of a boy afraid of his family’s reaction if they discovered his sexuality.




*StarfishB*Plot
Two friends are discussing an event where one of them had ‘accidentally’ revealed another friend’s secret in front of his family.



*StarfishB* Characters
Kamal and Sudheer are the two friends of Dheerraj. Kamal is perfectly aware of the trouble he may cause his friend
Dheeraj. He knew he was actually doing his friend a favour. Dheeraj’s family were a traditional Indian family, homosexuality was more than likely frowned upon. He would have never found the bravery to come out to his family and Kamal knew that.



*StarfishB*Climax
A waiting game to see what trouble dropping the bomb into the family had caused.
It seems as if Dheeraj wasn’t too angry with his friend, who had definite plans for the two of them in the future.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
The only grammar errors were maybe(not may be and let’s(not lets}



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this well written story, I enjoyed reading it.


Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
Review of My Love  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Joseph
Can I be one of the first to welcome you to WdC? You will find great feedback here and any help you require you need only ask.

This piece is a cry from the heart. A true outpouring of your feelings, although you feel they are not reciprocated which may or may not be true.

Any girl would be touched to be the recipient of such love as you feel for Lindsay. The reader is made aware of your passion even if Lindsay may not feel the same to you Joseph.

For such a short piece of writing you have used the word only six times, which is a little repetitive.
You wrote whether the distance between us five minutes...etc You are speaking of time not distance, so it should read whether the time which separates us is five minutes .. etc
When writing numbers in prose it always flows better to write the number instead of the figure. (Five rather than 5)

When you imagine Lindsay speaking you could put her dialogue in speech marks, e.g. c:violet} You will never say “I love you Joseph” as you did in the last line.

Thanks for sharing your love letter. Lindsay is a lucky girl.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Cali Falling

Thank you for sharing your story. "Death of a Thought I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful


I should very much like to welcome you to WdC. If these first words are anything to go by, I’ll enjoy reading your work in the future.




*StarfishB*First Impressions
These lines resonated something within me. You were able to put into words something intangible. I knew what you were getting at when you wrote: you can Murder a thought when you give it to the world It’s like when a germ of a story pops into your mind, it takes shape and grows until that moment when you sit at the keyboard to bring it to life and then it withers away into insignificance.

I liked how you decided against giving a description of this piece too. Sometimes trying to explain what you mean or feel is impossible.





*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I enjoyed reading.




Reviewed by Sumojo

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.



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Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review of 53 Word Story  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Melisscious thank you for sharing your 53 word story
To write a story using so few words is a difficult task. You need to have a beginning, middle and an end. This you have managed quite well.
The premise of the story tells of a storm causing untold damage to the earth. You evoked a vision of a soaked earth, undermining buildings and the roots of great trees in the forest.
Given the constraints placed upon the story by the rules you did a great job. Well done.

68
68
Review of life in my eyes  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi there Sandi-Lou, let me welcome you to WdC. This is a place where you can be sure you will receive help with your writing.

I agree with you, writing your feelings down is therapeutic. I hope you continue to write every day and share with others here.

Reading your piece, “Life in my eyes” I could sense the urgency you were feeling, the need to get down in words what you were experiencing, as quickly as possible.

The words run on, it feels as if you barely take a breath.
I’m not here to criticise but to help you write in a more calm way, by doing this it will slow down your thoughts too, as you think about sentence structure, spelling and grammar.

You obviously have a great way with words, people should be able to read them so as to help them understand the turmoil you’re experiencing at times.

Try not to let your writing run on. One sentence running into the other without punctuation can make reading your words difficult and what you’re trying to convey hard to grasp.Take your time to finish a sentence before starting another. Always start a new sentence with a capital letter.

Maybe now you’ve put down your feelings and expressed how you sometimes experience despair, try to write the piece again, taking your time.

I hope by doing this it will help you see things clearer, get a better perspective on your life. I’m sure you are a great mother and daughter. We all do the best we can and don’t set out to hurt or disappoint the ones we love. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Sue Frog in a Hanging Basket
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
69
69
Review of Welcome Home  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello rihazlette

Thank you for sharing your story."Welcome Home I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
My first impression was that this was written by someone who’d experienced the camaraderie of belonging to a group of like minded people. Either a sporting team or in the military.

The story revolves around the end of a season, or of an era. A party is held as a way of celebration. The group of people involved are reluctant for this time to end as it means they have to move on with the next stage of their lives. A time when they have to accept the responsibilities of adulthood.

Photographs are taken as the people involved try to capture the moment forever.
However this is where you lost me I’m afraid. The photograph appears in the newspaper, but there are people in the photograph long deceased. No one it seems has sent the photo to the newspaper or has knowledge of how it and the names of the long since dead have got there.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing this story, I’d love to get some feedback about my comments as I’m sure it’s just my failure to grasp the hidden nuances.



Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
70
70
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Finster

Thank you for sharing your story. "She Who Walked Among The AwakeI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
It intrigued me enough to want to read more.



*StarfishB*Plot
The scene is set in the narrator’s home. She is in a confused state as she arouses from sleep.
Realising she had overslept and is late for work, she rushes to get ready, and yet the reader is still unable to comprehend as to whether she is truly awake or still dreaming.




*StarfishB* Characters
The only character is the narrator, we are not privy to her age. Her name is Gina. We are led to believe she lives alone and is struggling with differentiating between dreams and reality.




*StarfishB*Climax
Gina is at work at the railway station. It appears she is having hallucinations, with people and trains appearing and disappearing. Even eras change as she sees several decades of time appearing and disappearing.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
There is no need for a hyphen in wide awake instead of beginning to set use setting.





*StarfishB*Parting Comments
This story is a well written piece, it’s difficult for the reader to know what is happening in Gina’s life that is troubling her so. The phrase Living the dream in this case is not good for her as the time of her being awake and asleep merge into one.



Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Vicky Vale

Thank you for sharing your story. "Satin And Lace Assassins hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
An interesting scenario. It intrigued me enough to want to read more.



*StarfishB*Plot
The scenes are set where some kind of revolution is taking place. Three members are sent to show the powerful men who hold these girls in low esteem that they are no longer going to stand for such treatment.
The men have no idea what is about to happen to them.
However it seems that it is all about getting better pay for their services.


*StarfishB* Characters
The story begins with three separate scenes each involving a powerful man being tricked into believing that they will soon be having the sexual experience of their lives. However the roles are about to be reversed as each girl has other plans. You described the girl’s attire well and each scene was erotic in a subtle way.



*StarfishB*Climax
The final scene is a rally of French Maids, they await their leader The Commander’ who proclaims victory for their cause.




*StarfishB*Suggestions
I think this story needs a place and time to make it more believable. What sort of society had led to the forming of a legion of French maids servicing the needs of powerful men?
In the last paragraph you mention a sea of several times. Maybe find another way to describe the crowd of girls.
The sentence: a sea of black lace top back seam stockings gartered above black pumps with four inch stiletto heels runs on. Maybe revisit this.





*StarfishB*Parting Comments
The story shows imagination, I think it needs fleshing out. A bit of explanation regarding the back story of how this society came about would be good.




Reviewed by Sumojo
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.



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Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
Review of The Umbrella  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello James Heyward

Thank you for sharing your story. "The Umbrella I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
The opening paragraph hooked me in, I needed to read more. It showed the uncertainty of how any of us may die. The idea of death being likened to an abattoir and the harbinger of death either a butcher or insane is chilling.




*StarfishB*Plot
None of can be sure we will ever see a loved one again as we farewell them. A dreadful thought. If the unthinkable happened as in this story we would inevitably recall the last words spoken. ‘If only’ phrases would come to mind. The narrator in this story wishes he had not asked his cousin to deviate from his original plan or he wished he’d taken the offered umbrella. Maybe even a slight change of plan could, or would, have saved the life of the cousin.
After Pete is killed by a random guy, his spirit stays anchored to the living world. He is lost, he doesn’t know that he’s dead but wanders, perhaps forever, contacting Tom by phone, occasionally words make their way across the ether and it’s those words which make Tom so bereft as he imagines his cousin wandering in the rain, with holes in his shoes.




*StarfishB* Characters
The character Pete was well drawn, an amiable sort of young man, someone unwilling to cause a fuss and who goes along with suggestions. The narrator Tom is close to his cousin Pete, it sounds as if they came from a loving close family. It is this closeness which causes Tom to feel so much guilt for the death of Pete.



*StarfishB*Climax
The ending is unsettling as the reader realises Pete will never find peace and his spirit is destined to wander forever in limbo.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing this well written story,






Reviewed by Sumojo




Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
Review of New Clothes  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello rihazlett

Thank you for sharing your story. "New ClothesI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
Well, my first impression was, that as this is a contest I also entered, yours is better than mine!
I loved the alternative view you took on the prompt. Clever!
It made me laugh, I could ‘see’ the ‘New Clothes’ they were described perfectly, right down to those gorgeous shoes.



*StarfishB*Plot
The premise of the story was that of a naked man doing his best to convince a policeman he was wearing clothes, despite his obvious naked stage.



*StarfishB* Characters
The two characters were both great. The driver, maybe slightly inebriated? The policeman going along with the excuse, even down to suggesting that such a garment may suit him too.The conversation flowed beautifully, the tone set by the Emperor was suitably disdainful of this upstart who dared suggest he was wearing no clothes.



*StarfishB*Climax
Alas the driver was unable to get out of being arrested and forced to step from his carriage into an everyday cop car!



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for entering the contest, good luck. I really enjoyed reading the story, thank you for sharing.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
Review of I Write In 2020  
for entry "Angels Linger
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello 💙 Carly - BLUE!!💙

Thank you for sharing your poem "I Write In 2020 I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful

I’m reviewing this poem for ‘I write 2020’. I have no skills as a judge of poetry and rarely try my hand at the art. I learned a little about the different types of poetry when I was being tutored by Hannah as part of joining the ‘Rockin’ Reviewers’, and was blown away by the complexities.




*StarfishB*First Impressions
My first impression was that such a short piece will be difficult to give an in-depth review on. Then I decided I needed more information regarding the Lady Slipper genre, so I did, what else? Googled it!
Now I understand what you had set out to achieve, an internal rhyme within each line. This you did successfully, so well done.
The last line designed to leave the reader questioning. Well, it did that, now I want to know the reason for the chaos and loss🤔



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing and increasing my minimal poetry knowledge.





Reviewed by Sumojo

Frog in a Hanging Basket


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review of Memories  
Review by Sumojo
In affiliation with Activity Bank  
Rated: E | (4.0)
HelloJJ Del

Thank you for sharing your story. "MemoriesI hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I was moved by this story and not just because I can empathise with the loss of a four-legged companion, but because it was written from the heart.
At first I thought you were speaking of a person, until I read about the doctor putting her down!


*StarfishB*Climax
The ending was poignant, you exposed your true feelings.



*StarfishB*Suggestions
I had the feeling you began this piece as free verse poetry, then it seemed to morph into a story. Perhaps a different lay out would make it work. There were several places where a comma is necessary. It was a very dark time for you comma you were sick the doctor said....there was nothing they he....
nobody could ever fill that hole in my heart comma Mittens.


*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing your feelings and giving me the opportunity to read and review.




Reviewed by Sumojo

Frog in a Hanging Basket


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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