Hello,
It was 2am in the morning,
I feel you should cut "am" you do not need it.
Amidst the deserted street stood a young couple locked in each others embrace.
other's
The man, was lean, dressed simply in a loose white shirt, dark bermudas, with a hair swept back in a neat row just like his mother taught him to.
No comma after "man".
Bermudas,
The girl, had on a simple simple pink blouse that complemented her immaculate white skirt as perfectly as skies matched clouds.
No comma after "girl".
Her hair, was long and flowing, with a fringe that gave it character.
No comma after "hair".
Then the man heaved and said, "I hope this night wouldn't end Lucy...
"Heaved" is not correct here.
I just hope it doesn't".
doesn't."
With that, Lucy replied, "Jack, this is not up to you or me to decide, it has to end as soon as the sun wakes up.", she cried a single tear as she said that.
This should be its own paragraph.
up,"
Those words brought pain to Jack's heart, giving him flashbacks to the past.
of the past.
"Jack, you are to end this relationship within 5 days, Nolens Volens!" she had ordered him,
Who is "Nolens Volens"? So far there has only a mother, Jack and Lucy.
him.
"but mum , why?" he questioned,
"But Mum,
questioned.
"Because, you are the only heir to this family's business. It your duty to marry a wealthy lady of notable stature who can at the very least handle herself with dignity!" came the reply, his mother continued,
"I already made my stand, Nolens Volens. It shall be done.". Upon hearing that, Jack walked out of the house, wondering he would break the news to Lucy.
"Because, you are the only heir to this family's business. It your duty to marry a wealthy lady of notable stature who can at the very least handle herself with dignity!" came the reply, his mother continued,"I already made my stand, Nolens Volens. It shall be done.". Upon hearing that, Jack walked out of the house, wondering he would break the news to Lucy.
"I already made my stand, Nolens Volens. It shall be done.".
done."
But Jack was no irresponsible man either, he had broken the news to Lucy.
ether;
This was no arcanum with his background.
arcanum???
"Jack.." she started,
"Jack," started.
"mmmm?"
"Mmmm?"
"Its time to let go.."
"It's
go."
" I dont want to..."
"I don't
"Jack?", she said again, ever so softly.
"Jack?" she
There are a great deal of formatting issues.
If you correct what I gave I will rate this again.
Alice
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