I am going to assume this is a play or a movie script and not a chapter in a book. Very few details as this is a script were visual is needed. 1000 years have passed and the three characters have survived. interesting. your story has potential. keep on writing.
this chapter is basically an introduction of what is about to begin... the end of life, so to speak. the person that is telling us, the reader, about what is happening, im sure will be introduced along the way of the story. i will continue to read and see what happens. at this point i this point i have yet to have an opinion. other than it's potential.
The story begins with establishing that the main character is looking for a mirror. why? not sure. but I'm most certain that it will delve into that matter. It ran with purpose, there is no room for unnecessary details. However, this story (or at least they way the mirror is found) has been told before. I'm hoping that there will be other ideas that will bring the reader into wanting to know more. Keep on writing.
at first I thought this spoke of someone having cancer and then i thought maybe it was talking about giving themselves to someone that might not be worth it? I'm not so sure. But it like potential in the poem. keep on writing.
I like were this was going. I got the concept of the weather being scary and how she hates it. I can understand it. The were a few errors:
she was in her thoughts and imagine for happing someone's horror with her And this is a horror night for her. (I am not so sure what this was trying to tell me)
"She thought she was alone, but the reflection in the window told a different story - someone was standing behind her, their eye on you and a sinister grin on their face." ( who is speaking this?)
Then there was really no climax. She just ran off and then vowed never to help anyone at night. The ghost threatened her and nothing happened? there was no struggle. I felt it abrupt. I would advise to put some friction for the character to fear for her life and then being safe in the end.
what a way to start a story. It left questions that were never answered. this is a short story? Will there be another part? I only ask because we are left wondering the worse. I did like it but my curiosity is searching for a conclusion. keep on writing.
"I'm not crying, you are!" i like this story, even though it is depressing. I like how there was a beginning, middle and ending. there are no lose ends and the tittle says it all. even though he has lost his family, it will not be forgotten. keep on writing.
interesting concept of a story. We set up a scene were the we are told that the protagonist is wanting more. and we finish it off by telling us that they are in a village. which leaves the reader wanting to know why live in a village? this is how the story continues and pull the reader to continue the journey. the only i would suggest is tell us why she feels that she deserves more. keep on writing.
The concept is there. the candy is basically a metaphor with many words that are between the lines. NOt so much writen. which is good. i like it. keep on writing.
cute. you did what needed to be done. but because it is writen. But I wonder if I would be able to tell if this was halloween just because of a spooky skeleton? keep on writing.
i like how this flows, interesting. it kept me reading. and you did what you had to do. but the only thing that has me is that the witch has something to tell warewolf, but never reveals what that is. it kind of feels as though I am left in the middle and only my imagination can conclude what it will be. sometimes it can be fun. however, it leaves lose ends. I am not sure if that was the purpose. anyhow, keep on writing.
This poem is short and sweet, but gets straight to the point. a witch and a ghost fall for each other. both so different and yet, it doesn't matter. love is the only thing that does. I like how its writen. keep on writing.
I LIKE THE STORY. JUST ASHAME THAT YOU CAN ONLY PUT DIALOG AND NOTHING ELSE. I UNDERSTOOD. BUT THERE WAS SOME THAT WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING. ESPECIALLY THE ENDING. OTHER THEN THAT, IT REMINDED ME OF JACK FROST. THIS CAN BE HIS BROTHER. KEEP ON WRITING.
what a way to start a story. the way it was writen, to explain the atmospher. Very well, I can imagine myself standing there with Rachel. It kept my interest. I would love to know what happened that she walked alone to a lighthouse. I'm sure there will be more. Promising... Keep on writing.
I LIKE HOW THIS STARTED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PAGE. ALMOST AS IF GOING INTO MEDITATION AND THEN EXPERIENCING WHAT THE WRITER IS EXPERIENCING. THE IDEA IS INTERESTING, YET, FRIGHTENING. KEEP ON WRITING.
saddness, is what this speaks to me. to attempt to bring someone back into our lives, no matter what the cause may be. short and sweet. keep on writing.
An interesting story. Something that, sadly, happens too often. But, alas, it is what it is. I would recommend you to double check the story, as their are some errors. it doesnt run smoothly and that can cause the reader to get out the story. keep on writing.
Hello,
I am no good with poems. I try, of course. But if I am correct on this. This is about a guy that loved someone until it changed. However, there is reget that will live on till their last days. Which is the worse thing that can happen. I liked it. I felt the pain and the manifestation of non existance. keep on writing.
I like how this runs smoothly. it says alot with such little words. it reaches out and touches me. it is bad and it hurts. but understand that it will pass and things will get better. be proud that you lived and hopefully, grew to become better. keep on writing.
Hello,
I really like this story. Campy, gory and all time fun. Reminds me of the late 90s, early 2000 horror flick. It kept my interest. I like how it ended. Knowing the fact that they have both perished. It gives an open for a sequel. There are a few things I did notice, that needed some attention. This is what I saw:
"Go on! I dare ya!" One of the girls shouted to me (I would assume it’s supposed to be “girls shouted at me.”)
"You made them made" This sentence doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not sure if it was a mistake or not?
This is just my opinion. But repeating the word “Snapped” can cause the reader to lose focus. You may want to try to change the words. It’s good to use it but not in such a small amount of time. It becomes a distraction.
Wish there was more to the story, but I guess that is the point. We, as a reader, will need to conclude this in our leisure.
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