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 |  of a tennis player, hiker, writer |
 A bird in the bath. well, just before.  On court 1. Lookin' to own.  In Jax, enjoyin' some solid juniors tennis.  I love my new phone cam.  * Clears throat * “Um, Robin here, your friendly neighborhood MC(Mistress of Ceremonies). Welcome to my blog. In it you’ll find my rants, ramblings and random updates on everything ME... …and since I’m the typo queen and master of misspelling, these will be present in most, if not all my posts.”  A few of my better entries - all quick reads: |
| The unfortunate characteristic of chronic pain is its unpleasant ability to seep itself deep into the nooks and crannies of the soul. It’s stifling presences gleefully hindering all my attempts to not only disregard, but rise above - through even simple normal day activities. Determined, I will still walk out on the tennis court tonight. I’m here at work aren’t I? not allowing myself a break from chores at home either. Why give up on my fun? |
| I’m in one of those physical zones where my skin feels to tight for my body. I want to cut my hair short, and I might opt for shaving! Ugh. WTF? And then there is all this guilt, for expressing emotions I normally do; with so many in the depths of tragedy. |
| I’ve just re-read my recent blog entries and they are lame. I know, I know, you’re saying, ‘but robin, stop being so hard on yourself.” This time, I’d have to disagree. I’ve purposely avoided writing about Katrina, my thoughts, feelings and emotions. The damage so devastating. Having to relocate and start completely over is difficult for me to comprehend. (I have so much to be grateful for.) All the words I consider writing pale in comparison to the emotions running through my soul. The hurt, anguish and helplessness I feel for all of those experiencing such a tragedy. I wonder if I’d have the strength to carry on. The loss of life, property, belongings, pets. I just can’t even imagine. And then, some of the stories. I wonder why someone wouldn’t get out in time. With such a warming. The satellite pics of Katrina’s vastness…I pray I never find myself in such a situation; not being able to leave and wanting to. My contributions to the relief have been minor. Money, supplies- sent through a local church- and blood. Well, okay, I’m donating tomorrow. I keep a daily vigil, watching channel 23, constantly being updated on rescue efforts. Reading the paper, passing around pictures on the internet. http://www.weather.com/newscenter/slideshow/katrina2.html http://mirrors.freeinternetpress.com/cryptome.org/kat01/katrina-01.htm My tiny contributions seem insignificant, especially when compared to the massive amounts needed. Nonetheless, my prayers continue to go out for everyone negatively impacted by the storm. God bless you all. |
| so, if you have extended cable...with HBO and all....MUST SEE TV! http://www.hbo.com/rome/ I'm hooked. |
| Did I hear correctly? CNN…yesterday…coffee is good for you! Pour me another cup of pecan flavored finely ground – Gevalia is the best. Add a tablespoon of silksoy creamer. Vanilla flavored if you got it. Perky, pain alleviating and now – fighting cancer? Woo-whoo! I feel like I just won the lottery! |
| Swam all weekend. I sure will miss the pool when the wather gets cool. So many things I love about the summer: the banana trees up thick and tall surrounding the pool. The long days. The mini trips to the beach. Labor Day is just one week away – the official end of summer. I will not miss the heat index of 100+ degrees. nor will i miss the countless bugs. but the pool, its cool clear water against m bare skin. the late night swims - especially when the moon is full. Those i will miss. ah, i'll just have to wait a year. |
| Damn! I skipped a day. With internet trouble at home and at work, it was bound to happen. So, Wednesday, on our way to pick up Laney, Autumn took Riverside Drive. A wreck or something on the interstate. “I’ll never make it to work in time.” She told me as she turned left onto College Street. Boy was she ever right. The interstate was stopped. Dead. I mean people were out of their cars, walking around, chatting with one another. I saw a group of people sitting on the guard rail. “Oh my god!” Autumn exclaimed, “That guy is reading a book! On the interstate.” “It looks like a street party.” I commented. “The only thing we are missing is music.” The following day, Tracia picked me up from Tattnall. We were headed to drop in on the Skills and Drills class – to pick up players for our 2.5 team. Tracia agreed. It was a party. A party she was glad she missed. So, anyway, the class was fun. Robbie drilled us and we played a mini round robin to get the feel of doubles points. Lots of these players are fresh out of the USA 1-2-3 class. I walked away meeting lots of new people and now have a team of eight payers – including myself. Wanda is on! Should be fun and I’ll keep you posted Also, I may have found a mixed team to play against. Gotta email Danny and let him know. That will make three nights of tennis. Official match night, team lessons night and then, a mixed match just for fun night. That’s the plan. Execution is a whole ‘nother’ story. |
| Another 4:00AM creative wave. The sleepy me hates this. “Go back to sleep.” She orders, with grogginess thick in her tone. But the creative me ignored her. The suck thing is…I didn’t take full advantage of this imaginative burst. I really did try to get back to sleep. Knowing I have a big day ahead of me. A long day. Sleep was fitful. On and off at best, hampering the artistic juices, so nothing was really accomplished. NYC. That’s one of the things I thought about. The U.S, Open. And how I wanna go. Unfortunately, I am forced to live this fantasy out vicariously through lots of my friends who have tickets, and are going. On of my best friends has front row tickets to Arthur Ashe. I think it’s not this w/e but next. My boss leaves tomorrow. He goes every year to the teaching pro conference. Lucky bastard. Manhattan. That’s where I’d stay. Hop on the L and go straight to Flushing Meadows. Shea on the left – the courts on the right. damn I wanna go. |
| Four AM. Why am I awake? I have a love/hate thing with being conscious during the pre-dawn hours. Without stating the obvious ‘would rather be sleeping’ comment, eyes open and thoughts stirring at such an ungodly hour means I’ll undoubtedly be sleepy tonight – long before I’m ready to hit the sack too. Crankiness will tag along – an unattractive feature. Verbal disagreements due to lack of patience brought about by the crankiness thing are more common. Ugh, grrr, blah! However, the beauty of four AM is quietness. Uninterrupted thoughts. The creative me loves the fact that the household is asleep, the TV is NOT on, and even the notebook still sits in the living room, on the ottoman, logged off and quiet. I do my best writing here, laying between the sheets of my king sized bed, nestled underneath a comforter and blanket. Stories are born, paragraphs constructed, poems are polished during the gentle transition between night and day. If I could only find this spot more often |
Interrupted thoughts splattered on empty pages creating swirls of confusion only to be deciphered by imaginative souls who embrace a love for artistic insanity.  Last nights thoughts just before sleep. okay, so during lunch, i came up with this... Interrupted Frustrated again Thoughts clawing against my battered soul. Splattered images entangled in swirls of confusion. Only to be deciphered by imaginative souls possessing a love for artistic insanity. |
| So, I was surfing cable TV last night, killing time, making sure Laney focused on getting her school clothes out and not become distracted by the compie, phone, or shiny objects …’ew pretty…’ and I stopped on ‘Something’s Gotta Give”. You know the one…with Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, and hot sexy Keanu wish you were mine Reeves. Despite several slow scenes, I like this movie. KR is such a hottie and I love how he goes for the older woman! And, when he finally gets invited to DK’s house for dinner – by the sister- they play Maron5’s Sunday Morning. It’s the first time I ever heard the song – I now own the CD. The song, has special meaning to me for several reasons. Unfortunately, by the time I got into surfing, found the SGG movie, it was well past the dinner scene. Not only did I miss the song, I totally missed KR’s gorgeous smile, and subsequently, kept on surfing. |
| No newspaper. How many days out of the year does this happen? It’s hard to start the day out with a SFA when a reoccurring annoyance parks itself right in your lap first thing. Throwing off the normal balance of a morning routine. Especially a Sunday morning! No transition here, but I’m typing in between house chores. I’m changing the name of my ‘clear your head’ writing from junk writing to power writing. I know, it’s a total mind game. I’m really trying to get some articles published, take a more serious approach, and the term Power Write is more appropriate. (forgive me if this is already someone else’s term. ) It’s just like my ‘super fantastic’ phrase, which pumped me up for a few months. (in reality, I think it was getting away – experiencing something new and meeting new people) but whatever. I’m adopting this phrase to further underscore my seriousness in writing. Okay, now, where was i…oh yeah, the paper. That so totally sucks. Scott and Colleen are coming over after all. So is Colleen’s cousin from Jamaica who just flew in this Friday and was the reason for the first decline in our invitation for dinner and swimming. Also, Bryan invited his sister. Her husband is stuck in Japan. Still. And may not get home until the 29th. later in the day... Eddie Vetter rocks. I love the DVD Live at the Garden. Especially the Wishlist song. At the end, he adds a verse…and gets the audience to sing along. It feels so real I can feel it. It tastes so real I can taste it. It sounds so real I can hear it. It is so real I can be it. Then why(and he drags this word out) can’t I touch you. He leans into the mike and says…”Sing New York, I know you want to.” And together, he and the audience sings the last line. Then, he says, “Just you.” Everyone one present pipes in. It’s great and the expression on Eddie’s face is perfect. His huge smile, eyes filled with awe. He mumbles, “That was fucking beautiful. “ If I may, I’d change the first two lines of the verse just a bit… It feels so real I believe it. It smells so real I can taste it. |
| Chores. And lots of them. Topping the list…birdcages. Oh joyous rapture. Oh mom do I have to? Deliverance. That’s my plea. Anyone? Someone? Okay. I see how it is. Fine. I skipped last week cuz I was gone. What is it a friend of mine says…’no day off goes unpunished.’ I think that’s how it goes. Well, I’m feelin’ it now. Dread, seeping deep into the part of my brain in charge of motivation, crawling across the muscles of my body. And then, underscoring my reluctance is the pool. In the backyard. Filled with crystal clear water, beckoning me for a swim. Ah, my favorite way to swim. Maybe if I slide in a Dave Matthews DVD, the music will override my unwillingness. Or, Pearl Jam. Eddie Vedder. Live at the Garden. Oh, no. I got it – The Rolling Stones DVD. Yeah. That’s the ticket. Mick Jagger’s bony cadaver ass prancing around….motivating me to keep going. Then, I can go swimming… |
| Sadness has enveloped my soul. Taking over my lungs rendering my muscles immobile. How can the dying of a family pet produce such all-consuming emotion? About an hour ago Bryan noticed him laying in the back yard not chasing the truck as it drives along the fence as he usually does. We both raced out the back door. He’s ten years old we knew this day would come. He struggles to inhale each breath unable to lift his head, stretching his neck and eyes in an effort to see the noises around him. We woke Laney up (student holiday) For the longest time the three of us sat there and patted him talking softly not even bothering to hold back tears. Poor Nemo. We put a make-shift tent over him to keep the sun off. Now I’m at work, and Bryan just called saying Nemo growls when he tries to pick him up. I do not envy him, having the unpleasant task of putting Nemo down. My heart hurts for everyone.  Good-bye Nemo. We will miss you. |
Damn! I spent the better part of my lunch break trying to figure out the new writing website. No. I’m not cheating on wdc. Learning about the publishing aspect of the field. So, I’ve already registered as an author and submitted two articles. I tried to get into the forums offered – no such luck. I had to register. I could not find the register link. Why doesn’t my becoming an author on the site automatically allow me forum access anyway? I’m also a member of a forum on www.TennisConnect.org. Can I remember my user name and password to those forums? Hell no. And what about my user name for my insurance website? Double no. Oh yeah, there’s a different name and password for my online banking., and my space… Sheesh! What’s a girl supposed to do? I checked the box to automatically sign me on every time I sign on as an author. One less thing to think about. To do, to screw up. Oh, off topic (OT) Bonnie and I walked almost three miles this morning. Triple YAY. Gonna get my hair cut tonight and skip hitting on the wall. I am sparked with a mischievous jabs to do something radical. Very short or color…I’ll keep you posted. |
| I'm in the middle of this I hate vegetables give me nothing but carbs stage. (At least I'm working out twice day.) I had to force myself to eat baby carrots yesterday. Promising cookies as a reward - for eating my veggies. WTF? Me? Little Miss three to five servings of f&v a day? Oh yeah, it gets worse, the same with fruit too. And there are fresh peaches to consume. Straight from the orchard peaches. Sweet, juicy lick your lips and wipe your chin peaches... |
| Somehow, I hurt my right foot. I’m still planning on hitting tonight. Tracia is supposed to be here to play mixed. Maybe by then, and a dose or two of Advil, it will feel better. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I finished reviewing the website release notes and the guy has already emailed me. He’s using all my recommended changes! Double YAY for me. I’ve been overloaded with work today. I’m telling myself it sure beats the hell out of boredom. Why can’t these projects trickle in a few at the time instead of the whole rain = pour thing and then dry up like the Sahara? Vacillating between the two isn’t nearly as stimulating to me as an even keel. We’re going ahead w/ the USA Schools Tennis Program this fall. I had thought we were going to break, feeling the program had saturated the market. But Carl said no. It’s my program so I’m happy we’re keeping it. The new Fast Track program will be at my tennis center. Triple YAY! Laney will be helping on court with that one. She’s excited to have a little extra income. And the best thing, no late nights working. All programs end by seven PM. So, she can still do things on Friday nights. Today’s pain level is a six. I know, I can hear you ‘then why are you gonna go hit?’ cuz, I’d be in pain regardless. At least I’m having fun in the process. Right? |
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