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698 Public Reviews Given
972 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Firm yet fair.
I'm good at...
Poetry and short stories.
Favorite Genres
Historical fiction and fantasy. I also love any type of poetry, especially form poetry.
Least Favorite Genres
Sci-fi.
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Short story, poetry, chapter.
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Interactive.
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Interactive.
Public Reviews
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326
326
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Elizabeth,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page and thought I'd take a look. This is a sad tale of the death of a loved one, and the effects it has on those left standing. You paint the picture well with the snow falling and the barren trees as the Christmas song played in the background. The emotion can be felt in every line once we find out that she has died, and we feel for the narrator of the poem. I like the repetition of "The snow was falling steadily down" in the first and last stanzas.

I have a couple of suggestions. "It's quiet essence" should be "Its quiet essence." There's also many instances where a comma should be used. For instance, "It would be December 24th, our favorite holiday, you'd be taken from my life." There are other times, too, but if you want a list I can outline them in an e-mail. As a matter of style, I wouldn't use a comma after every line. A new line indicates a new thought, therefore breaking it up from the previous thought, so a comma seems redundant. This is just my two cents; do as you please with it. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
327
327
Review of Momentum  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Shawn,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page and thought I'd take a look. I noticed that the whole thing flows really smoothly; the meter is nearly flawless. I like the idea of positivity controlling your dreams. I like the lines "I am no longer lost in sleep/Although my dreams I choose to keep." There's a double meaning of dreams there. Each stanza sticks to its main idea, and no two stanzas are alike.

I have to say that I was a little lost with the true meaning of the piece. I'm not too certain of what you mean by "Ideas cannot die." It all came across as a bit vague, nothing really concrete. If you could clarify that for me, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
328
328
Review of Screaming  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sorcha,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page and thought I'd take a look. It's a sad tale of people suffering in silence while those around them are safe and warm in their homes and their beds without a care in the world. I like the line "Survive to suffer another day," it's so tragic. There's rich imagery of hearts, street lights, beds, blankets, breakfast, and the sun. The short lines made it flow well.

I have one suggestion. The message was a little cryptic after the first stanza, so you might want to make some obvious phrases just to get the main idea across to make sure you don't lose the reader. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
329
329
Review of Early Poetry  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Eline,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poems on the Noticing Newbies page. The first poem Itching is about skin itching, but I didn't understand why it was itching. The image of wanting to scratch off the flesh and scratch out the eyes was powerful, yet I didn't know why it would go that far. Maybe add something in there that will let us know why exactly the skin was itching.

Grey is a poem about not everything being in black and white, clear cut and able to be explained so easily. I liked the images of the cement, stone and metal. It did seem a bit short though, so maybe consider adding an extra line or two to add some more meaning to it? That's just my two cents; do as you please with it. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
330
330
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jacqueline,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page. I thought I'd take a look. This seems to be a poem about not wanting to be forgotten, but knowing that's it's inevitable. The opening lines set the tone for the rest of the poem. I like the metaphor of the tree trunk. I like the imagery of the black night and the light, a nice contrast. I like the line "I create the path for me to walk." It shows a lot about one's character. The last two lines were my favorite; I like the idea of fading into black night but the spirit living on and bringing forth light forever.

I have a couple of suggestions. I wouldn't begin the poem with the word "And," because you didn't say anything before that, so it didn't really make sense to use the word "and." Also, "Head them" should be "Heed them." Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
331
331
Review of The Dreams  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi JustMe5,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page and thought I'd take a look. I like the last stanza, with the tucking of the hair and the white knight. I like the repetition of "My dreams taunt me tonight," but I think repeating it only once would be enough. My only concern was that if I hadn't read your description, I wouldn't have been able to figure out what the poem was about. Its meaning was sort of lost on me. The third stanza comes close to conveying the message, but it's still a bit cryptic. That's just my opinion, do as you please with it. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
332
332
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Paige,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found your poem on the Noticing Newbies page. It seems to be a poem about a wonderful man with whom you're in a relationship, and he seems to have all of the qualities you're looking for in man, from the physical features to his intelligence and knowing how to show his feelings. The rhyming scheme works; it doesn't sound forced.

I have just one suggestion. Maybe group the lines together to make longer stanzas, such as four lines in a stanza to keep the ideas together so that they're not so broken up when they're separated like they are here. It'll make the ideas flow a little smoother. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
333
333
Review of My City Is Dying  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Lucy,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found this piece featured in the "Read a Newbie" column on the lefthand side of the WDC home page.

The speaker in the poem seems to be constantly wanting to be led into the light, but there's constant allusions to fire and watching the world ignite. But I guess fire also provides some sort of light, albeit a rather negative light. I know that the speaker refers to the more positive light when saying "Lead me to the light." I like the metaphor of the noose in the tree, and the anchors in the sea. I love the line "Now tell me the truth you gorgeous liar," but I would add a comma after "truth."

I have one suggestion. This poem seems to be nothing but metaphors, and while that's all well and good if one is perceptive enough to ascertain what it is exactly the poet is trying to convey, some rather lay sounding phrases might be appropriate here and there to bring us back into the real world from time to time. For instance, "It's difficult being with you" would be a mundane phrase to use but it's simple enough to understand to someone who doesn't really get poetry, or who is just starting to read and review poetry. That's just my two cents, do as you please with it! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
334
334
Review of Back Home  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Assortedtea,

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I found this piece on the Noticing Newbies page. This paints the picture of the "little round house" cloaked in the woods, and what the family is doing inside, and a description of the house. I love the images of the gingerbread and coffee, they made me hungry :) I liked the line "Long windows weeping snow," although I wasn't sure if it was the windows that were weeping snow, or if those were two separate ideas that needed to be separated by a comma.

I have a small suggestion. At times the lines sound fragmented, so I would suggest adding a few more words to make the thought more complete. This also seems to be somewhat of a story, but it doesn't really seem to have any sort of conflict, or the opposite of that, a positive action or outcome. These are just my two cents; do as you please with them. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
335
335
Review of Spring  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Meg,

I found this piece posted at "Newbie Help And Support Review Central" 


I thought I'd take a look at your portfolio to offer you a helping review. These lyrics are about a new love, one that's uplifting and inspiring, positive and good for one's self-esteem. I like the reference to the seasons, and the metaphor of the flower blooming under the rain while spring is on its way. The chorus is my favorite part in the whole piece, as it contains the great metaphor.

I have a suggestion. Capitalize "Now the dark" since the other first words in each stanza are capitalized, just to remain consistent. And don't capitalize "Dipping" since you didn't capitalize any other line besides the first of each stanza, again, just to remain consistent.

The stanzas weren't too short or too long, and the same goes for the lines. The lines flowed well, and I'd have to hear the lyrics sung along with the music to judge the meter. I really have no suggestions for improvement besides the grammar; there were wonderful metaphors and beautiful words used to paint a lovely picture of a new, true love. I'm sorry if I can't be more helpful! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

April
336
336
Review of Memories  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is so sad. Wendell's father must have dementia, as my grandmother has dementia and her short-term memory is awful but by some miracle she can tell you, in full detail, something that happened to her when she was ten years old. Go figure. So Wendell's father repeats "The road is long, you know" because his short-term memory is gone, and it's killing Wendell inside, as we see by the tear rolling off his cheek. Wendell's mother is surprisingly strong and supportive of him, and I know that I'd be falling apart if that were my husband going through that, but maybe that's just her personality. This is a beautiful yet sad piece, and the picture was painted well. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
337
337
Review of CHRISTmas  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an informative poem about what Christmas should really be about. Everyone gets caught up in all the commercial aspects of it like buying gifts in abundance and buying way too much food, too. You make a good point that Christ should not only be thought of in December but all year long, for those who believe in him. There's a small correction, "beacame" should be "became." I liked the imagery used in this poem of the lights, tree, wreath, barn and night. Well done. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
338
338
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very interesting piece. I'd like to know who "He" is in the opening paragraph, what his name is. Start off with that so we have something to work with. The story begins when the four characters begin to magically appear on their thrones, and I really enjoyed that part. I liked the poetry that the summoner recited too to call upon them. There's good conflict when they're arguing. The only thing that seems a bit off is the ending. It ends too softly without anything sudden happening, or any conflict or crisis or anything really to carry us into the next chapter. Just something to think about, and that's only my two cents, do as you please with it! :) Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
339
339
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I definitely want to read more. The ending leaves me hanging, and with many questions unanswered. I would like to know who the child is, why Sam and Peter have him, and where they presume to take him and why. I like the lightning and thunder; it sets the mood and makes it a little eerie. I have just one small suggestion. There was quite a bit of description in the beginning, and it might work better if you start out with more action and dialogue, then weave some description into it a little later on. Leave the opening paragraphs to action and dialogue, but such that we can follow it and figure out what's going on. It shouldn't be cryptic. That's just my two cents, do what you please with it! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
340
340
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece is definitely about learning how to let go and put all of your faith in your creator, and to definitely follow His advice. It must have been awful to watch him fall for that other girl, and to deal with the heartache that came after that. One must find comfort in what God has said and learn to trust Him, knowing that it'll all work out in the end, and whatever is meant to be will be, no matter how much it may hurt. I could definitely sense the fear of the speaker of the poem of not wanting to love again, and I can't blame her. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
341
341
Review of Not Yet Grown Up  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem portrays the sentiments a parents feels about their child growing up so fast, and how they wish they could slow down the process just a bit so they could enjoy the little things more often. I like the progression of the child going from liking Barney and Hilary Duff to working and making it on her own out in the world. I like the stanza "I'd like to stop and smell the roses, but when I try, I see a door and it closes." A lovely metaphor. "I only wish I could slow the pace" shows the frustration one feels about their child getting older too quickly, since everyone I know says it happens "too quickly." I don't have children of my own so I have to believe them :) It's a lovely poem. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
342
342
Review of Time  
Rated: E | (4.0)
One senses the hopelessness the speaker feels in this poem when it comes to time and how it treats us. It gives us good times and bad, without any rhyme or reason. It's evident that time can truly isolate someone from everyone else and make them shut off the world around them because of everything bad that's happening to them, as it states in the last stanza. I liked the image of the banana peel, that was great. I also liked the driving in a fog, and climbing up the wall. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
343
343
Review of Need  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the lines "the sea needs the shore," and "a fisherman with a holed net." Such an interesting comparison. I like it how the "utterly sane men" find their partners after trekking through the insane river that we call life, and they float down it together "as two." I don't usually read love poems per se because call me jaded but I don't want to read a bunch of fluff, but I found no fluff in your piece here, just matter-of-fact statements beautifully portrayed in metaphorical phrases and rich imagery. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
344
344
Review of Coping with Grief  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is concise but loaded with meaning. It touches upon a fact of life, a topic we discuss so openly and freely but when we really stop to sit down and ponder the meaning of it, it would probably freak us out a bit. My favorite line is "Remember." That's really all we can do, is to honor those we love by remembering them, to not let them fall into the abyss of forgotten souls. It sets the tone properly in the beginning for what the poem is about when the question is presented, "Why do our loved ones have to die?" And it ends on the wonderful note of "Remember." Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
345
345
Review of Wisdom  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
"And the demon she fights is herself" is my favorite line, and the last stanza is my favorite stanza. It's interesting how there are the different stages of being; the innocent, the victim, the survivor, then the warrior. How terrible it must have been to lose one's innocence only to become a victim. What an awful reality. I like the repetition of demons throughout the poem. It's a rich image but definitely symbolic at the same time. It's interesting that the warrior's heart is always enraged; I never imagined a warrior as being enraged. Maybe motivated, but I guess this particular warrior would be enraged after all. There were no spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
346
346
Review of Ode to Joy  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I actually laughed out loud when I read "Almond Joy!" What a pleasant surprise! I totally wasn't expecting that. Here it sounded like an intense love poem, what with the pining day and night, "I don't think I will win this fight," the watering mouth...but I knew something was up when I got to the breaking of the chains part. I like the line "Unfettered from this awful strain." The entire piece had me thinking it was about something else until the end. A true poet can write about anything, and you definitely have, and with beautiful phrases and rich imagery. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

AND
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


April
347
347
Review of In the mirror  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


This was a refreshing piece that I can relate to. "That only the sweet beat of rhythm matters to me" is a great line. The rhymes are good; they don't sound forced. I like the usage of the words life, heart, soul. I like the repetition of "I look in the mirror, I find my mystery." It reinforces the idea. I truly feel that music is your soul from reading this piece, especially from the screaming heart. "Rythem" should be "Rhythm" but other than that there were no spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! And welcome again to Writing.com!

April
348
348
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I really like the line "Fumbling awkwardly over memories." "I'm not sure what I am, other than scared" is a nice, honest statement, showing how one feels after meeting up with an old friend after a long separation. It's hard to reconnect with someone when you've grown apart, as these two people have in this poem. It's difficult to be so close to someone, only to go your separate ways. It truly is awkward reconnecting after so long. You've portrayed that reality wonderfully in this poem. No spelling/grammar mistakes. Nice, short lines make it flow well and the short stanzas are concise and easy to follow. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! And once again, welcome to Writing.com!

April
349
349
Review of LOVE HEALS!  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Shattered souls love quickly mends" is my favorite line. This is a beautiful piece about the healing powers of love. Love seems to be truly unconditional as is it described here. I like the imagery of the rain and the gold and the shattered souls. The short lines make it flow well and the short stanzas make it easy to follow. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! And happy WDC anniversary!

April
350
350
Rated: E | (4.5)
"You have your hand in hers and everything is dark" is truly a heart-wrenching line. How awful it must be to be in a relationship when there's another woman. There are such good moment described throughout this piece, only to be overshadowed by the bad. "My love means full time love and that means just for two" is so true; there's no room for a third wheel in a true relationship. I like how you mix in the good moments and the bad; it's not a truly linear poem in the traditional sense, but it works. No spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing! And happy WDC account birthday!

April
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