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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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Review of WEATHERED STONES  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

This poem holds such strong imagery, it haunts one's thoughts long after the last line is read. I don't think I'll ever view a cemetary quite the same again. I enjoyed the short verses and crisp, tightly woven wording in this poem. Pacing and flow are excellent, grammer and spelling are superb, I did feel the comma at the end of line two, verse one, should be a period - it just doesn't read as a question. All the characters mentioned spring to life, thier stories bring tears to my eyes. This poem is definately more than worth reading !

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Review of REUNION  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION;Great tittle, short, catchy, fits the story well. Descriptive line is interesting and attention grabbing.

CONTENTS; I enjoyed the plot, it is a great little twist on the 'typical'ghost story one so often hears. More of an honouring of life after death, than scary, spooky. *Thumbsup* The story flows well, it is well planned and very well crafted, no long, boring narratives to slow down the pace or push readers out of the story. The story-line is very believable, I didn't even question what was happening.

Characters, Dialogue: Main character is very likeable and well rounded, he's someone I could imagine knowing. Internal dialogue gives great background, fills in mood, and moves the story forward with each phrase.

IMAGERY; EMOTION;Imagery is clear and easily pictured. I felt I was standing just to the side, watching Ted and listening to him tell his story to me personally. I felt sadness, regret and happiness for Ted as I read. Also a great respect for this character.

Favorite Lines/Parts: Ted describing all his close friends.
The words engraved on the stone. Beautiful sentiments.

SUGGESTIONS;
Paragraph Two, Line One;
"Where is my name?"He thought..." needs question mark, not period, capitilize He. Also, use double quotation marks around dialogue.
Paragraph Five; commas needed after 'stone''one'
A thought as I read, I felt it more realistic if Ted's name was carved on the stone as his full name, not just shortened to Ted, wouldn't names on a marker be full given names ?

CLOSING THOUGHTS; An uplifting and entertaining story that leaves readers with a warm, happy feeling.


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Review of MID LIFE CRISIS  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A whimsical poem about the changing expectations in what age is considered 'old. 'I liked the blend of humour and tongue in cheek sarcasm throughout this poem. It made me laugh and is certainly a topic I could relate to. Verses and thoughts progress smoothly, questions are asked that engage readers while making one want to laugh or pull out thier hair, depending on thier state of mind. Grammer, punctuation, spelling is all good, lines are well-crafted and the overall tone and flow of the poem is smooth.
FAVORITE VERSE: Five, because it was both funny and spooky too !
FAVORITE LINE:
Why then are some people now being punished ?
A great, funny little read that I highly recommend to those who enjoy whimsical humour.

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Review of PURE WATER  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

I am reviewing your poem which is posted in the Simply Positive Review Forum. Please note, All comments and opinions expressed here are only that of a reader. I am not an expert on poetry forms and can only comment on aspects I find appealing.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS; An interesting perspective on the state of available clean water in our world.
FLOW; I found the punctuation helped to create a rythm for the reader to follow and absorb the thoughts the writer was expressing. I did feel the word 'Cry' in Verse One, line four slowed the flow and threw me out of the poem slightly, is there perhaps a similar word that might work better here ?
Overall THOUGHTS; Strong imagery throughout makes this poem memorable to readers. The rhyming pattern as shown seems well performed within this sonnet.
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Review of Dog  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

I am reviewing your item today because it was recommended in the Simply Positive Reviewers Forum. Please note I am not a professional on copywriting or editing, this review consists simply of my personal thoughts and opinions on this item. Please accept what you find helpful, and disregard the rest.

Your Description fits this piece very well. Did you invent the term 'storoem', for your particular style of combining poetry with stories ? It is a very apt description and I find this type of poetry my favorite both to read and review because it both touches my emotions deeply, is highly visual in nature and leaves a lasting impression in my mind.

General Flow; Imagery ; I found the flow of this poem worked well, events happen in a logical sequence that takes readers on a journey through a typical event, many animals end up becoming strays and it is often hard for the kindest people to afford to keep them as pets. This is well portrayed here, particularly in verses one and two.
Imagery is poignant and vivid, it's very easy for the reader to 'see'the farmer trying to drive the animal away and it's attempts to win it's place within the family, eventually it succeeds, thanks to the wife and daughter.

Emotional Impact; The final verses, seven through eleven, brough a building sense of great catastrphe ahead, there was a hint in how the dog now stands guard, a definate difference from the playful nature he exhibited earlier. A well done start to a twist. That line immediately sharpened my focus on each word. Again, in every following verse, the images become more powerful, I could almost smell smoke and burnt hair.
I was in tears by the end of the last verse, sadness filled my heart at loss of such courage and determination. I think it was the very last line of this storem that had me weeping into the tissue... a wonderfully portrayed truth that one never realizes how deep an animal's friendship and caring can run until it is too late. I too, found myself wishing they had given him a name.

Favorite Verse; Nine, because it speaks of great love, courage, hope and to a point, disbelief in the outcome being successful.

Closing Thoughts; A poem that I think all people who enjoy tales of courage will greatly enjoy. I rated this one a 5.0 because I could find no grammer or punctuation errors and it touched my heart with a very deep compassion for those less fortunate, while being a wonderful example that even the homeless and forgotten, can prove to be the one who performs a miracle with no regard to personal loss or gain. A well told and important insight into life.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

A thought provoking piece for so few words. The tittle and descriptive line are eye-catching and fit this story perfectly. I really enjoyed the style and pacing in this story, dialogue is real, believable and moves the story foreward very well. It is nicely interwoven between short, narrative passages that lend background, atmosphere and astrong sense of the town and it's population without being overpowering. This definately holds reader attention very well and increases interest and suspence. I did note a few minor things that I felt could improve the overall piece. Line Three; a comma after 'snow'.
'The smell of cherry tobacco filled the air.' [ I'd move this up a line and use it as a continuation after; 'The man brought out a pipe.'rather than making it a seperate sentence with a space between. ]
Try adding commas after 'George Worley' and again after 'John Fischer '
'fuesds '[ typo, should be spelled 'feuds.'
I found the ending satisfying and fitting to this piece. I particularly enjoyed it's refreshing plot and storyline, one most people could easily relate to with the very strong main character you have created here.

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Review of The Promise  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

A heart-wrenching and very memorable free-verse poem with a wonderful twist at the end, very nicely done ! I enjoyed the vivid imagery in this poem, it created strong, powerful pictures in my mind. I could clearly see location, and characters, something not easily accomplished in poetry. Each verse moves easily into the next, the rythm is strong and melodic. I have only a few pnctuation suggestions that I felt might help polish this piece.
Verse One; Periods after lines two and four, a comma between 'and' 'thanks ' [ line five]
Verse Two; Periods after Lines two and Four. Commabetween 'alon ' 'and ' [ line One]
Verse Three; Periods after lines two and four. Comma between 'me ' 'so '
Verse Four; Periods after lines two and four. Comma after 'man ' [line two] Comma after 'truth '[ line four] Comma after 'food'[ line five] Comma after 'stopped '[ line six]
Verse Five; Period after Line Two.
Verse Six; Period after line two.
Verse Seven; Periods after lines two, four. Comma after 'made' Comma after 'made '[ line four]
An excellent read I highly recommend to all.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A wonderfully, funny and well polished item that I happened to find. This little piece of satire is certain to bring a grin to anyone on thier worst day ! I think I'll put a copy on the mirror for my hubby. *Bigsmile* I enjoyed the humourous style of this one because I felt it gives us a look into the Author's personality, one of fun and laughter. I found no spelling or grammatical errors, the piece is laid out in an easy to read way. The tittle and descriptive line fit perfectly. My favorite 'reasons', # 9, 8, 7 and six and three are pretty close behind ! Give it a look, I'm sure it'll bring a smile to your face.

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Review of Love Like That  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)

I enjoyed the theme of this free verse poem, it reads more like song lyrics to me. Content was very good and interesting, but I do have a couple of suggestions that I feel can make this poem stronger in reader appeal... First, try adding more punctuation at the end of each line, EXAMPLE; move line one's question mark to line two, use comma after line one. Period after line three, and so forth throughout the poem. You might want to break it down into four or six line verses to improve clarity. Line Four doesn't match the previous lines as is, there's only 'one boy in the sand', maybe make line four a new verse and add a line after line three to introduce the little girl whom the 'boy in the sand'connected with that you laughed at them as a couple.. ? With a little editing and polishing, I think this will be a remarkably powerful and memorable poem.


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

A sweet little free verse Christmas poem about animals and how they think of thier ancestors parts in the First Christmas. Very original theme that I found interesting.
I felt the verses flowed very well together, creating a beautiful picture in the mind. Imagery was detailed and very easy to picture. The only suggestion I have is a spelling/ typo error in Verse Three, Line Four; 'wanders'should be 'wonders' A well done poem that I feel all ages would enjoy.

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Review of Bella  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)

An interesting story about a special companion and helper. I thought it would add a little more interest to your story if you mentioned what special training Bella recieved before coming to you for evaluation. Below are listed a few suggestions I hope you will find useful in helping you polish your story.
SUGGESTIONS:
Line One; Try wording this something like; 'My best friend, and helper, is Bella.
Paragraph One, Line Four; add a comma between 'me and or, and commas after the words; ' by'and 'special'.
Paragraph Two, Line Three; 'wondering'should be 'waundering'
I found your story very interesting and it was easy to understand the close relationship and friendship between Bella and yourself.

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Review of Success  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Good tittle and descriptive line. I liked all the movement and action packed into this very short story. Imagery was vivid and very easy to see in the reader's mind. Emotional impact is quite dramatic as one realizes that for the one Father, simply being out with his child is the true joy and success. Pacing, grammer and punctuation are all well done, and I felt the story fulfilled the contest prompt admirably well.

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Review of Poor Poet  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Short, interesting tittle that caught my attention very well. The descriptive line suited the story contents.

CONTENTS; I liked how Native American lore was entwined into the plot to add depth and suspence to this children's story. I felt this would add great interest for the younger children's vivid imaginations and they'd develop vivid mind pictures from the story, holding them enthralled. It certainly worked on me ! The uplifting, happy ending was a perfect finish to this magickal tale.
I enjoyed the tight, crisp writing style that avoided long narratives. Events flowed logically and in a way that holds reader interest very well.

Characters, Dialogue: I loved the characters of Illeina and her Grandmother, both were very easy to visualize and relate to. Grandmother was a person I wish I knew in real life ! I felt it was her deep, spiritual beliefs and wisdom that made this story so special.

IMAGERY; EMOTION;Imagery was well done and very easy to picture in my mind, particularly the part where 'Poor Poet'returns when his mistress slipped off the steps. Emotions are strong and I experienced sadness, joy and wonder as I read.

SUGGESTIONS; My only suggestion is that a short transition sentence or paragraph would help the flow and clarity if placed between the part where Illeina's father says he'll place the newspaper ad and in the next sentence she's dancing at a campfire.. I got a bit lost there for a few seconds.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; A delightful children's story that catches both the heart and imagination, I can see this being a favorite bedtime story of both child and parent alike.

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Review of Shadow Detective  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An intriguing tittle, and an interesting main character that one can easily sympathize with. Although I did wonder why it never seemed to cross her mind to call the police...
Still, there is an excellent use of imagery and events that build the suspense to a maximum impact for the final twist at the end. I found the ending satisfying as it explained all the reader's questions and character's actions, yet, it made me wish the story went on so I could find out her fate ! This story certainly compells the reader to keep reading ! I felt the grammer, punctuation, etc were well- done, the only thing that felt off was not thinking of telling a co-worker or calling 9-1-1.
Altogether, a delightful and dramatic read !

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Rated: E | (5.0)

Excellent tittle, very catchy. I had to rate this at 5.0 because I could find no spelling, grammatical errors and the story just flowed. For such a short piece, it is bursting with both drama and humour. Your ending lines were excellent, and I could easily relate to the situation and characters as I too, love bleeding hearts. A wonderful, light- hearted read that will brighten anyone's day !

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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, WhoMe, you have won a review package from me in the Gladiola's Creepy Bouquet Auction. Please accept all reviews as simply one readers feedback on your item. No disrespect or hurt is ever intented by ANY comment or suggestion. Use what you find helpful and delete the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit.
Thank you for sharing your work!

Tittle, Description: Excellent tittle that sparked my interest immediately and suits this story perfectly. I'd suggest changing your descriptive line to give a teaser of story content as it looks like the contest no longer exists. [ You could just leave a note at the end it was a contest entry, etc.]

Contents;[Flow, Clarity]: The content surprised me because I'd been expecting a story about a specific holiday, this was a very happy surprise that instantly increased my attention. Thoughts and events follow each other smoothly and in excellent time sequence. I felt that I was right there in each scene and momment. Descriptions are varied and well executed.

Plot: I loved the premise that seasons may well be entities with characters and feelings of thier own ! Very unique ! *Thumbsup*

Characters, Dialogue: Your main character was so easy to connect with, one wanted to just reach out and aid this person. Internal dialogue is well presented and moves the story along well. I felt it added a great deal of depth and anticipation for the reader as to what would happen next.

Suggestions: Not many and they are only those pesky kind on spelling and grammer. *Smile* I've listed them below for your contemplation as to whether they are helpful.
Paragraph One, Line One; add a comma between; "debut"and "for", capitilize Sister Sun [ used as name here]
Line Five; comma between 'winter'and 'that'
Paragraph Two, Line One; comma between "house""and"
Paragraph Four; Line two is a little confusing and loses the flow slightly. I would simply delete the word 'over'from it.
Paragraph Six;
It brought a moan that increased to [ from] a shriek then [ to] a wail.
Paragraph Seven; add commas after 'breeze'and 'exist'

Closing Thoughts, Rating: A wonderful, dramatic short story about a person's frailty against nature and a wonderful insight into a different way of viewing the seasonal changes. I would have given this a 5.0 rate except for the editing points mentioned above !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

I enjoyed the slow, contemplative flow of this poem. It held my interest and made me think about life and the bigger picture. Both the tittle and descriptive line were attention grabbers for me. I found the thoughts and verses flowed easily together, and I thought the last line a perfect finish to this poem. My favorite verse had to be Verse Five, because these are questions I have asked myself. An excellent read that many will relate to and enjoy.

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Review of Berserk  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Catchy tittle and your descriptive line really adds to pulling the readers interest!

CONTENTS; A very well planned and executed plot and storyline. I loved the twist at the end of this one. Fresh and unpredictable are the two words that come first to mind in describing this story to others.

Characters, Dialogue: The main character is everyone's 'average joe', just doing his job until circumstances send him over the edge. This could be the person next door, or the person you meet on vacation. You let us know this person intimately without alot of dreary narrative. Show, don't tell is plainly executed in this character. *Thumbsup* Secondary characters are also well presented to add credibility to the events. Dialogue is simple and believable, it moves the story forward, building tension and drama as it unfolds.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; I found the imagery short, concise and very easy to visualize. My emotions seemed to escalate with the POV Character's, he certainly had my sympathies!

SUGGESTIONS; None of any concrete help to improve this, it stands well as it is.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; An excellent story of an ordinary person driven to fantasy and madness through the uncaring rudeness of those he is forced to interact with. A Halloween 'Must- Read !

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Review of Dead Steps  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I loved the flowing rythm of this free verse poem, it really struck a chord in me because it reads like song lyrics and takes on it's own life. The words are intriquing and the poems theme and drama increase verse by verse, I just had to keep reading! *Thumbsup* There were a couple of lines that I felt could be edited/ polished to enhance both the flow and richness of this poem.
Verse Two, Line Four; 'contended' feels out of sync here when I read the piece aloud, like the word is close to right, but not quite, it almost feels used merely to hold the rhyming scheme...
Verse Four, Line Two; same problem as above here with the word 'keeping', is there another that might work a little better, [ I found myself wondering what was meant by keeping.]
Verse Five, Line One; 'should be made' try 'shall be made'[ keeps it in present tense throughout ]
Verse Seven, Line Three; I'd change 'never' to never more' to hold your rythm
Other than that, my only suggestions would be to add a little more punctuation to polish it up,
EXAMPLE:
Commas after; rest and find in last verse.
Overall, a delightful, dark read that I highly recommend to all!

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

An interesting piece with an intriguing puzzle to play ! I would suggest capitilizing all of the words in your tittle so it stands out. I enjoyed the blend of honesty, irony and humour in this piece. Thoughts are clearly formed and plainly spoken. I'm looking forward to more of this wrier's work, although I did feel a more effective descriptive line would draw more reader interest. Stop by, maybe you can solve this riddle!

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Review of Mystery Meat  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you find helpful, and ignore the rest.Most importantantly, Keep Writing!


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Interesting tittle, good description that catches reader interest very well.

CONTENTS; Very fitting for a dark tale! I particularly liked how you got the truth of the mystery meat across without an open reference. *Thumbsup*
I really liked the repitition about the 'good folks at Midwest Nuclear Research..'
For me, it sent a shiver down my spine each time you repeated it and certainly kept my attention level high!

Characters, Dialogue: I felt that I was sitting down having a chat with your narrative character while hearing the other's voices mumbling in the background.. eerie! The narrative and secondary characters dialogue combines to move the story ahead clearly and concisely.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; An excellent job of 'show, don't tell.'You manage to give readers an excellent view of background and a sharp build-up of atmosphere in short, concise statements. Emotion rises in accordance with the progression of the story.

SUGGESTIONS; These center more on polishing, than on any real errors. Use what you find helpful, disregard the rest.
Paragraph Three, Line Three; ' But, and this goes without saying,it wasn't there anymore.'
Paragraph Seven; 'times is hard..'I'd suggest 'áre hard' [ same suggestion last paragraph]
Closing Paragraph; Last line; I guess'[ I'd delete that sentence, it seemed superfluous to the mood.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; A great little dark short story that I'd highly recommend to others!

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting tittle, you're descriptive line has a typo, 'to'' should be 'too'. Good flow to this piece, it reads quite smoothly and expresses a number of rather controversial opinions in a rather light-hearted way that, in my opinion didn't seem to come across as simply mean jabs at reviewers, but asked honest questions in the author's mind. Although I must admit the closing line read slightly controversial. I did feel this piece would have a better style and flow if it were edited and put into more definate seperated verses...
Example: Line Seven should be a period after, árt' rather than a comma - to keep it in sync with the previous verse.
Sorry, I'm not great at critiqing poems, but I did feel the lines should be a little more similar in length - even though I assume this is a free verse poem.
Overall, a memorable opinion piece on reviewing poetry. I'd also suggest raising the rating to ASR simply because we have many very young writers and reviewers on site that could be put off if the views were taken too much to heart.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed the rythm and flow of thispoem. It touches on a subject that is both sensitive and all too common, but this piece handles it with skill and sensitivity.
I could find no obvious spelling or grammatical errors and could think of no constructive suggestions for improvement.

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Review of Heartbeat  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

An engaging poem filled with interesting, vivid imagery and fresh descriptions of a loved one. I enjoyed the light, upbeat tone of this poem and felt it flowed well, verse to verse, line to line. It held my interest throughout. I particularly enjoyed Verse Two for it's unique descriptive phrasing. My only suggestion here for improvement, would be for
Line Four of your final verse, I'd suggest changing the word 'beat' to 'heart beat' in keeping with your tittle and intended subject of the poem. Overall, an enjoyable, refreshing read.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed all the information given in this poem, it reads more like a story than a poem, which I always enjoy. However, I did feel this one might actually be better suited to
being written in short style. [ just my humble opinion from all the information and slight political overtones]
FAVORITE LINE: "Is Go mad at us? [I didn't do it] It's always great to see humour in a piece.
LEAST FAVORITE LINE: úmm, global climate change, [ the úmm' reads a bit rough in comparison to the overall flow ]
I also felt the verses might be broken down into shorter verses to holdreader attention tighter and provide natural pauses for readers to absorb all the great imagery.
EXAMPLES: [ please note these are simply one readers humble opinions ]
Break between Lines Five/Six in Verse Two, another break between lines Ten/Eleven in Verse Two.
Break between Line Six/Seven of Verse Four. I noted similar seeminly natural break points throughout this piece that I felt would make the overall flow of the poem smoother.
Overall, an interesting poem with vivid imagery and strong emotional connections for readers to enter into the piece.

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