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1,413 Public Reviews Given
1,424 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I provide a detailed review that focuses on flow, storyline, characters and how the story touched me emotionally. I do not focus on grammer or provide extensive line by line edits on longer pieces.
I'm good at...
Character development, emotional content, dialogue, plot.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark, Action/Adventure, Thrillers, paranormal.
Least Favorite Genres
Vampire, werewolves, stories based on video games, fan-fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Fiction short stories or chapters.
Least Favorite Item Types
Essays
I will not review...
Erotica or really graphic 'slasher' type horror.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Great tittle and I loved your descriptive line, great gift by the way ! *Smile* Your rating is appropriate for this story.

*GiftG* Contents, [Flow, Clarity]: I liked the lively, varied pace of this story. It gave readers time to savour events while maintaining a high level of interest in the story. The flow is even, there is no ' strain' to retaining the continuity of this piece. I particularly liked your first transition from October to a day in December - nicely and smoothly done with just one simple word; ' finally.'- to me, this is a sign of a well polished work by an author who pays attention to detail. Location was easy to visualize in this story.

*Snow1* Plot: A delightful Holiday plot with a great message behind it regarding homeless people. This plot reminds me of an old saying my grandmother used to use; ' be careful how you treat everyone, for you never know when it might be an angel your entertaining.' Good advise from her and from your storyline ! Even from this excerpt, I felt the plot was well developed and well laid out.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your characters are well rounded and breathe life, especially Walker's children, the rusty sounding old man, Walker and the homeless man. These are all people I'd love to spend time with ! Dialogue was believable and felt natural to the characters personalities. It moved your story foreward well. I really enjoyed the feeling of movement in this piece enhanced by the children's play and the moving car.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos: No typos or grammatical errors noted. I really have no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating:A thouroughly enjoyable and well told Holiday story. I look foreward to reading the entire book, it's going on my Christmas wish list for the print copy and I sincerely wish you the best of luck with this novel !

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Review of Winter Solstice  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked your tittle, but did feel the descriptive line could be improved to draw in readers by giving an indication of what the poem is about.
The rythm and flow of this poem had my toes tapping and brought a smile to my face. You captured the joy and meaning of a Winter Solstice celebration in exquisite, vivid detail. Bravo !
I cannot think of one suggestion to improve this poem, I enjoyed it immensely !

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328
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found your tittle and descriptive line very appealing. They fit this poem very well.
The flow and clarity in your content was good, although I did find the poem felt a little like it dragged in the middle. I think it was only the length unbroken by verses that made me feel a bit breathless by the end, there didn't seem to be any ' natural breaks', for the reader to stop a momment and reflect on your words.[ this is simply my feeling as I read it aloud.]
I enjoyed the varied emotions from sadness to joy, from despair turned to hope that I experienced as I read. This poem is a very poignant view of a woman's life and worries for her children. I was so happy for her that she found herself and her faith at the end !
A memorable poem, more like a story, that delivers a strong message that becoming older doesn't mean life is over !

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329
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to provide you with my thoughts on this item.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:
*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: I really felt this had a great tittle, it really caught my interest. Your description mirrors the tittle line, however I liked the fact you added this was/is a contest entry because I think that should help in getting it noticed by more reviewers.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : Your content was well planned and executed, very easy to understand and I felt it held reader interest well. I enjoyed the strong imagery of the storm competing with the warmth of the cherry blossoms and spring sun.
I enjoyed the story of the continuity of life told by this little story.

*Snow1* Plot: Excellent metaphorical tale about the circle of life.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Not really applicable, as I didn't really get that emotionally attached to one form of character, but I did enjoy the visualizations of the snow falling and it turning to a shower of blossoms.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos or grammer errors seen. This is a pretty piece as is, I can offer no constructive suggestions for improvement.

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: This piece reads and looks in form, more like poetry than a short story. It has a rhythm and beat to it more in accordance with poetry than a short story, it was listed under reviews as a short story, if I've mixed that up - please forgive me, it's my error - also please let me know so I can adjust my rating from the given 4.5 to 5.0 stars.
Thank you for sharing this uplifting piece ! Write On !

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Review of Still Loving You  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

The beautiful imagery and deep emotion of this poem held me captivated throughout, I could not stop reading !
Flow, clarity and rythm are constant throughout this piece, the reader feels the longing of the narrator for home and roots.
My only suggestions for improvement to this piece would be to Capitilize each first letter of the words in the poem's tittle and to center it on the page for maximum impact in drawing readers interest to reading this very special poem.

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Review of Imperfection  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

An interesting and thought provoking letter from one friend to another. I liked the fact the letter was written by a teenager who is able to see both herself and others for whom they are and does not define people only by how they look. I think there are many teenagers who view the world with this clarity of view and I think it's important that this point is illustrated by writers. We hear too much in the news headlines of the 'bad' teenagers, it is nice to read of one unafraid of showing thier true self and being unswayed by peer pressure.
I did not notice any grammatical errors in this piece. The flow and clarity of thoughts is well done and the letter is both thoughtful and easy to understand.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Tennis  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

There is a wealth of feeling in the first line of this poem, it sets the stage for readers and adds a layer of conflict to the poem that I felt drew readers into this spectator's world. One feels sorrow and a simmering anger about how the narrator's life has changed. I found the last line to be a very well done contrast to the feelings flowing through the first part of the poem, because it shows that while the way the game is experienced has changed, the overall feeling of joy and respect in the sport has not been lost at all - in fact, it still brings pleasure, even as a spectator.
There is a very strong beat and rythm to this piece that I feel adds excellent depth to the poem for readers.
I am not experienced enough with this particular form of poetry to offer meaningful suggestions on improving form, but I can say that in enjoyment and imagery, this piece certainly hits it's mark !

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Rated: E | (5.0)
A great activity and effort by all ! Included are my sponser gift points for my writers. I sure hope this is the correct place to send them, as I didn't see a ' bank' link. A very nice job you did on promoting and hosting this activity - see you again next year !
To Group #1546311
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334
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A poem with a very interesting concept and a definate dark flavor. I could easily see this poem written out in story form.
I liked the underlying sense of hope and salvation in this piece. The imagery is very strong and the rythm is fluid and smooth.
Overall, a memorable and thought provoking read that lovers of the darker pieces will enjoy very much.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)

I enjoyed the vivid imagery in this poem, however I did find some of the lines a little confusing as you seem to be telling two poems at once, this is particularly apt for me in Verse Two. The thoughts and feelings expressed in this piece however, are very beautiful and invoke great feelings of happiness in the reader for the couple who found each other.
Overall, an enjoyable read with an interesting last verse on the color purple.
Write On !

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Review of Follicular Folly  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Forum, and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc. : The tittle and rating fit this piece well and your tag line of description did catch my interest well.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I felt this little story flowed in a lively, clear manner that any reader could relate to. All guys would need do is switch little bits around. *Smile* Flow was even and smooth, the incidents each smoothly flowing into each other to create excellent reader interest, I felt right there beside this poor woman for the entire story.

*Snow1* Plot: This doesn't really apply here in an essay, however as the piece reads more like a short story; [ you might want to list it as a short story, actually] anyhow, I wanted to say that I loved the sense and feelings of humour mixed with irony throughout this piece. It made me smile the entire time I was reading. The ending was a perfect tie-in to complete the piece.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: Your main character/narrator was clearly visible to readers, you give us plenty of information about her in few words. Nicely done ! Internal and outer dialogue is believable and well handled.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : No typos were apparent, although while I read, there was one small thought that crossed my mind.... where you have her imagining the headline of her arrest..I'd suggest making this a seperate sentence in caps to set it apart from the rest and add drama for readers. [ just my humble opinion here]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: A wonderful read that I am certain many would enjoy as a nice break from holiday stress. I really felt this was more like a short story than essay and because of that and the part about headlines, I didn't give it a 5.0 star rating, however I did enjoy it and the rating part was a very hard choice. Keep Writing !

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Review of I AM  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Your tittle and descriptive line are catchy and interesting. They suit this piece to perfection.
I like the sharp, clear images in this work. They make for a very intense read and I could feel this being speaking to my soul. I did feel that your last line was a bit abrupt in comparison to the deeply felt visionary lines of the overall piece. Is there a way that you could, perhaps lengthen that line to fit the flow and cadence of the overall piece ? Maybe something like;
' You may call me God, for I Am all and I am love.' [ also ties in your tittle tighter to the piece.]

A beautiful, inspirational message and read. Keep Writing !

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The first thing that strikes me is the deep emotion in this essay. Second would be the incredible imagery of the trees and the ice, especially the willow tree. You have set the location and added personality to the willow through personal memories, the importance of learned life lessons through the way the willow has persevered over the years and the extra emotional attachment because this was your aunt's tree and she is now gone.
I see a simile here in the willow tree's last battle for life and the final , un-winnable fight against death we all must face. Another in the weight of the ice depicting the weight of illness or age overwhelming a life.
I liked the short, punchy sentences you used to pace this piece. It is like watching a video of the events in my mind. I felt the willow's determination to live, felt the chilling bite of the wind and the crushing weight of the ice. I cheered the willow on, knowing her victory was not to be.
There is no advice I can give to suggest improvement in this piece. Grammer, punctuation, flow and clarity are all excellent. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with us.Definately rates at 5.0 stars !

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Review of Discover  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

There is a strong, driving beat underlying these lyrics. As a poem or a song, it works quite well as it is, however, in my opininion, the really harsh language spoils the symetry of the overall piece,. I'd suggest changing the lines you have about lies to ' hidden, dirty, whispered or similar word' lies. I also feel that keeps your original flow and clarity and would broaden your audience if put to music. It just seems to me the words are too smooth and the message contained in the overall piece is strong enough to stand without the harsh language of rap or heavy metal type wording.
I noted a couple of small typos in some verses,
Example: ' in life and the we die' ' the' should be 'then'.
You just need to give it a bit of an edit and polish for typos.
Overall, a strong piece with a powerful message of deceit and betrayal and a call to wake up to this fact.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Through the Storm  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I found your story on the Simply Positive Review Page and am here to review it.
DISCLAIMER: Please accept the following comments and suggestions as one readers opinion only.Use anything you find helpful and discard the rest. Your story should be written as YOU see fit. With that said, here is my review:

*CandyCaneG* Tittle, Description,Etc.: Interesting tittle ! Description should tell readers a bit of what your story is about. I'd also suggest choosing the genre- ' Short Story' in place of ' Other'.

*GiftG* Contents, Flow, Clarity : I would remove the second item ID # shown at the top of your stories body, it's really not required there and makes readers expect a sequel, if you have or plan one, move it to the end of the story and put ' Part Two' in it's tittle.
The general flow of the story was quite good and easy to follow.

*Snow1* Plot: Interesting, but very close to Wizard of Oz.

*SnowMan* Characters, Dialogue: I didn't feel any real connection to the characters and had trouble judging the age and sex of the main character. Dialogue was well managed and the internal dialogue was believable for Fantasy.

ScotchTape: Suggestions, Typos : I would give this story a good edit and polish, here are some of the main things I noted.
" ...in an red, rusty..' 'an' should be 'a'
The note about the spelling of colour in the UK is very distracting, if you feel it must be explained, try putting it at the end of the piece.
commas are needed after ' perfectly and powdery'
Uncles M's should be Uncle M's
I'd also suggest a period after " Otto and I" Start a new sentence with, " I knew it.." [ breaks up long, run-on sentence.]

*XmasTree* Overall Thoughts and Rating: You have a great flair for humour and creativity in your writing, thank you for sharing this piece, it made me chuckle with it's happenings ! I'd be happy to change my rating after you've given the story an edit and polish.
Keep Writing !

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Review of Decaying Beauty  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

This poem is filled with vivid and satisfying imagery that wecan all relate to. It made me think of how I was admiring the trees near our home on my walk yesterday. I felt a great respect and pleasure for and of nature in your words.
Just a thought, I felt that in line two, verse one; it might read better as '...summer begins..' [ from the ending lines I felt you were speaking of summer throughout in the singular form ? This line seemed to speak of plural summers instead. ]
A very beautiful poem that I hope many will take time to read.

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Review of The Only One  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: The characters in this story are very well thought out and portrayed as three dimensional beings. They actually seemed to step off the screen into my world. I liked the distinct differences you showed between how they acted in animal and human form. Thier emotions were believable as were thier actions.

PLOT: An interesting twist on the usual shifter story. I liked the way they wanted to help the other shifters regain thier humanity against seemingly impossible odds.
There are good themes of redemption and the importance of family and beloning in this story.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: I found no flaws or mistakes here.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: The vivid images of the characters, it was easy to visualize the girl as a cat in the opening paragraph. Location was stronly detailed, making it very easy for readers to see, without using a massive amount of information to create breaks in the tension and flow of the story.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: This is only a personal opinion, but I felt that Dylan would have taken a little more convncing that the other shifters might be helped. He seemed fearful of them and considered them pretty much beyond redemption.. would he agree so quickly with a person still virtually a stranger to him ?

OVERALL IMPRESSION: A powerful story that grabs readers from the opening line and uses dramatic tension and conflict to keep them reading to the end.

FINAL THOUGHTS: I would enjoy following the adventures of this pair as they come to know each other and seek out the other shifters. You certainly have enough plot here to make a much longer work from this story.

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tittle and description fit this poem perfectly.
I liked the slow and gentle pace of this piece. It flows softly and smoothly, lulling the reader into thier own memories of love. The last line speaks volumes, a dream of being loved unconditionally by a special someone in our lives, unreqited love, love only dreamed of, as the human spirit ever strives to reach for the unconditional love we all desire so deeply.
A touching and thought provoking poem that I hope others will read.

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Review of Roses in Heaven  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Tittle and description fit the contents perfectly. This is a beautiful, heartfelt poem about a daughter's love for her Mother that transcends death itself. I was touched by the beautiful thought of God picking roses and giving them to a mother on her daughter's behalf on a special day.
The poem itself has a simple, but smooth flow to it. The cadence is not broken anywhere and emotion shines throughout it's verses.
A poem that is well worth a read by anyone. I hope many other people give this a read.

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Review of Room at the End  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)

I found this to be a wonderful poem on remembering one's lifetime as age takes it's toll on body and mind.
The momments were sharply defined, and the imagery powerful and emotional. I experienced feelings of loss, joy, happiness and success right along with the narrator.
I have too many favorite lines to list, but the two that stand out the most are line one, verse one and the entire last stanza.
I am not familiar enough with the various poetry forms to offer tips on form, however, this one seems to match all the requirements in that area compared to similar poems I've read.

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Review of Gazing  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

The form of this poem as explained by the author seems to be written exactly as required.
I enjoyed the clarity and power of the images portrayed in this poem, they made me feel I was right there on the ski trip with the narrator. The flow and beat of this piece is lovely, uplifting and with an underlying sense of adventure.
I actually experienced a wonderful serene feeling as I read and an anticipation of snowy days to come.
Favorite Line;
' A guard watching silent o'er cold, slate gray waters'
I cannot offer any constructive advise for improvement to this piece, I think it was well thought out and it's message beautifully portrayed as it is.

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Review of A Day on the Farm  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, I am here to provide you with some feedback on your item. Please note that ALL comments contained in this review are only one reader's opinion and are meant only as suggestions. Use what you wish and ignore the rest. Happy Writing !


TITTLE, DESCRIPTION, ETC; Interesting tittle and the description fits perfectly. The rating was well matched to story content.

CONTENTS; The contents were both humourous and a little creepy with the ease the chickens accepted and even relished each other's fate. Well done, it certainly holds reader interest high !
The dialogue was believable and well done, it moved the story ahead nicely while giving us a good look into each character's personality. It was very easy to visualize the location and events in this piece.

IMAGERY; EMOTION; The imagery was sharp and well planned. I felt laughter, sadness and even anger at some of the character's reactions as I read.

SUGGESTIONS; I have no constructive suggestions for improvement as I really enjoyed this short story. Transitions, spelling and punctuation were all well managed.

OVERALL THOUGHTS; An engaging story with a unique plot.

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Review of Lost  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

A haunting and memorable poem about roads not taken in life.
I enjoyed the powerful imagery in this poem and the metaphors used are perfect for creating the maximum emotional impact from the reader. The poem actually tells a story of how the narrator feels and what brought the person to that point in life.
After reading the form requirements at the end of the poem, I could see no errors there. The poem flows as smoothly as water along a creek bed.
Favorite Lines: [ too many to list all, here's two; ]
" Darkness enshrouds as desire's light fails,"
" faint echoes remind me of chances I've missed,"

A highly recommended read !

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In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, I am giving you this review on behalf of the FMS Survivors & Friends Group. Anything said in this review is given as one reader's opinion only and meant to provide you feedback on your story only. With that said, here is my review;

CHARACTERS: I found it rather difficult to connect with the narrator of this story. I felt that with a life rich in friends, perhaps she'd just change how she went about meeting new men.

PLOT: You did make some excellent points on how suddenly life can change and the various interests of specific age groups, but I thought you'd include more then just ' meeting a guy' from your story's description line.

GRAMMAR/ Spelling: No errors noted.

LIKED:*Thumbsup*: It's very easy to visualize the bar scenes you describe and you do make valid points on the bar scene.

DISLIKED: *Thumbsdown*: The implication that this woman felt her whole worth seemed to be based on having a man.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: I felt lonliness was the key theme here and I would love to see the story developed to describe the woman's lifestyle further, her values, work, friendships, why does she feel so pressured to find a man ?

FINAL THOUGHTS: A good start on a piece that carries a valid message on the shock of getting older and the realization that one never really feels older until faced with a changed situation that was once familiar.

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Review of Tradition!  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

An interesting and informative article told with humour and a faint hint of irony. I did like that the author included both the place where she had first recieved the information, the date and the fact the story may or may not be factual. It shows an open mind and honest professionalism in the piece.
The story was told in a well ordered fashion and I liked the idea the author asked readers to participate in researching some of thier own Church's traditions, showing research to be a fun and valuable tool.

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