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Hi LdyPhoenix! Here is review #2, part of the gift package of five reviews offered from a secret sender. So, in the spirit of writers helping each other hone their craft, I offer the following comments for "Broken"  .
[The comments following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please use only what you find helpful and disregard the rest  .]
 Initial Reaction: This tale read less like a short story, and more like a prologue to a bigger story. The writing style engaged me, while the plot left me wishing there was more.
 What I liked: The premise of this story is very good. The theme of rejecting regret, and lost dreams regained, emerges nicely from this short. I liked the idea that the main character would find the courage to pick up the reins of her life and steer herself in the right direction.
 Suggestions:
 I thought you could have exposed Niema better through more characterization. She is a deeply conflicted person, who has an epiphany after a series of events leads her to the conclusion that she should follow her childhood dreams of being a concert violinist. I liked that she was able to "play" a Bach sonata from memory after years of not practicing music. This helped me understand her on a deep level. There were other times, however, when you tell more than you show of her character. For example:
In response to her mother's question about her violin, she says "I threw it away years ago. It broke and I never had time to replace it," she replied and lead the conversation back to how Ralph Debussy's daughter was getting married, again. -- This is followed by an explanation of her past musical days. It would have been interesting to know, as she says these words, that she was not telling the truth. You could include some body language or gestures here, which would tip off the reader that she is not being honest with her mother, and herself. The same body language could surface later when she looks longingly at the violin in the shop window, and it could be poignantly absent when she delivers her final line to the instrument repair man, that yes she is a violinist.
The scene with the car accident was a pivotal moment for Niema and should be a climatic plot point, but it was given only a few lines in the story. It would be more interesting to expand this scene, giving it the tension worthy of such an event, and including a deeper exploration of Niema's character and her arrival at the conclusion that this was a sign for her to change her life.
There are some little "hiccups" in this story where a word is missing or an idea is repeated, and each time the flow of the passage is thrown off. An example is this:
Niema closed her eyes, tucked the violin under her chin, and began to play Bach's "Sonata No. 1 in G Minor: Adagio" with an imaginary bow. She played from the memory the raise and fall of the notes with the movement of her bow. -- Here, you can eliminate the last prepositional phrase because it reiterates the use of an imaginary bow stated in the first line. Also, the wording is a little awkward. I suggest something like this:
Niema closed her eyes, tucked the violin under her chin, and began to play Bach's "Sonata No. 1 in G Minor: Adagio" with an imaginary bow. She played from memory the rise and fall of the notes.
 Grammar/Spelling Oops: Here are a few editorial comments:
That night, Niema went to back of her closet and dug out her old case that was buried under seasonal table clothes. -- missing the word "the" before "back"; tablecloths is one word.
Cautiously, she opened the case and lightly ran her finger tips along the strings. -- fingertips is one word.
'the shiny new instrument' -- missing a comma after "shiny"
Her thoughts throughout the week had plagued with images of broken violins. -- missing the word "her" after plagued.
In the window held a sign stating "No Problem Too Big To Fix". --  In the window was a sign stating "No Problem Too Big To Fix."
 You have such a wonderful story telling voice, and your work is a real pleasure to read. This story is full of potential and I encourage you to continue to work on it.
 Nicki
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Nicki
Grammar/spelling Oops: I have a couple of editorial comments:
I will roll the virtual dice on December 21st to determine the winner of the 5000 gps. I will post the winner in the challenge forum and email him/her directly. Good luck!
~ Nicki ~
As far as the title, I think "My World" is wonderful. I would suggest using "my" in place of "this" in the last line of the poem, because it seems to have higher impact.
Perhaps 'ignite' is better?
