First Impression

Conventions That Inspired Me

Conventions

The Read

Structure

The Read

Structure

First Impressions

Muses That Inspired Me

My Favorite Parts

The Read

Structure

The Read

Structure

The Title


I really didn't understand the title because it's really just a date and I feel that this piece deserves a title. Maybe Unapologetic or something along those lines. Just a suggestion.

My First Impression

A great self description of a strong individual that will walk away if they had to. Wouldn't it be so cool if we all had that outlook on ourselves. The inner power with explanations. It is what it is.

The Muses That Inspired Me

This whole thing exploded with amazing conventions and I get pretty excited about that!!

Assonance
great hyperbole throughout
a tone of conviction
a free verse that held a strong voice
quite a concrete piece

Most poets write with conventions and don't even realize it. It's free speech and the magic just takes over. Sometimes I think we over think it until it becomes difficult.






Over All Thoughts

The Title


Happy Harvest grabbed me more after I read the poem. Absolutely always time to give thanks and be humble.

My First Impression

I remember when we were younger and learning about the meaning of thanks giving. The Pilgrims and Native coming together to unite as a union and making peace.

I think we failed that History lesson today. We didn't come together as a unit of peace in this world. We have gone backwards and in a year where there shouldn't be a hungry person left, there are more going hungry all the time.

We love our turkeys, fresh bread and wine with all of the fixings of a grand meal. It truly is humbling to know that I am not out there with nobody and my family is around me. The poem just made me realize how far from history we really are. Always a divide.

The Muses That Inspired Me

This being a free verse poem was a smooth read with great conventions of poetry. In line rhyme to start with Assonance and Alliteration, hyperbole just to name a few.

Conventions I Would Suggest


I have nothing to suggest on this piece. I did fine the meter a little long in some lines that could be shortened but nothing you have to fix. This is your piece!

Over All Thoughts

The Title


I love this title and it grabbed me right away. It led me to read and I love theories of writing. What you wrote really hit home because I have been reading the same thing. Being an writer and wanted to be published one day has left me stammering in what direction to take. I agree that storytelling is most important.

Freytag's pyramid.

Exposition, inciting event, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution.

This is how I thought it had to be written but I think this might be more important in a short story. I still believe the story telling comes first. Most times it comes naturally to write with the pyramid style.

In writing a novel I prefer the ebbs and flows, with tension building and subsiding that eventually leads to a pivotal moment in climax. I am not sure if you heard of the "earthquake model" I find there is more room for storytelling with less pressure. Most writers tend to use the pyramid and I probably do in a sense but personally I rather write the story.

I hope you find your way through developing your skills as I am doing the same as well.

Over All Thoughts

The Title


I always seem to read the poem or story before I read the title. I know it seems weird but then I can judge on the title being suiting or not. This is a suiting title without a doubt.

My First Impression

I felt the chilly wind and the coming of winter. What happens in those few weeks before does feel empty. A great tone in this poem as I felt piece by piece the dying of what was once vibrant.

The Muses That Inspired Me

Beautifully put together with Alliteration, a set tone allowing the poet to give a voice to his\her work. I enjoyed the personification in this poem. Assonance is also another great device in allowing a poem to flow and with this being a free verse these conventions did well. Some free verse work better with punctuation but I didn't feel this way this time around.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


couldn't go wrong with the title that is for sure. My dog and the cat had their daily routine of tormenting each other. The cat of course won always. What is with that anyway?

My First Impression

This being a free verse form of poetry allows the writer to express his words with his own voice. Giving the poem Personification which I loved. Assonance, in line rhyme, literary elements that held all the way through this piece.
I also noticed the amplification and all of these various elements give your poem a voice.

I had a great chuckle and it felt pretty close to my own two on a daily.


Conventions I Would Suggest


The only suggestion I have would be punctuation. As I was reading each sentence came to a dead stop feeling like stutter. Even free verse should hold a flow. I would like to give you an example

You Wrote

There was a temporary truce.
The cat asked for a break.
The dog was just about to pounce.
He'd now made a mistake.

I Suggest

There was a temporary truce,
the cat asked for a break;
the dog was about to pounce-
he'd now made a mistake!

bye changing this punctuation you are giving the reader a pause with the explanation mark the reader feels the tension.


Over All Thoughts

The Title

I loved the title as it set me up already for a good chuckle



I really needed to read this today, your story put a good grin on my face. The come backs were priceless.

"Cool Beans"
"M-u-u-um-u"
"You Sleigh me"

Do you have this humor at home? I think you might. It's nice to read a piece that is on the lighter side. No conflict or spiraling plot. I held a vivid picture of both characters trying to make their way to vacation.

Was a delight to read and thanks for that.

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The Title


Illusion Of Solitude sounds quite interesting and a reflection of self growth. To determine if one is happy being alone or is alone and doesn't want to be.

My First Impression

I enjoyed the imagery in the beginning of the story. The city being decayed by nuclear emissions. Such an awful thought as I read this I felt a loneliness in the world. The writer describes the feeling of despair and wanting to reach out but yet troubled by her own fears of interaction.

Could there be that there is nobody else to interact with?
Is she alone or are there others in her position as well?
Could there be others she is unware of?

Just a few questions that might pop up along the way into the story line. It starts with quite a conflict of many things. It will be interesting to see this character get stronger and the plot come to rise.



Just a few suggestion on past and present tense. Punctuation is a hit and miss leaving me to re read a few times in the beginning. Run on sentences that are easily fixed. Writing is all about learning along the way and having someone else read your work is a helpful way to learn.



Over All Thoughts

The Title


The title is very fitting for the story. I see as the signing of a love letter. Always Yours.

My First Impression

A light story between to young love birds. In a moment of confessing emotions. A good imagery put in place. Seems like a life time ago for myself.



As much as I enjoyed this story I would suggest taking another look at the spacing, capitals where necessary and punctuation. Not a whole lot to fix up but it would credit your story for the reader.

I enjoyed the idea of the story and as I said the imagery was well done. Keep Writing, thanks for sharing!




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The Title


Oh how I love birds! I believe they are the blessing of spring!

My First Impression

I am becoming a great fan of free verse poetry! I do love the imagery in this poem as it brought me above the trees looking down at the flutter and scurrying little sparrows. They seem to have so much fun in my garden in the spring.

The Muses That Inspired Me

Conventions of poetry are endless but as I grew to learn their meaning it gave me so much freedom to write with a voice. I heard the voice in this piece along with Assonance, Alliteration, Imagery, enjambment and personification. You put these prompt words into great use and brought some joy to my reading today.

Thank you for sharing!




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The Title


Oh I love a sun shower! I love romance! Romance in the Rain?! Yes please!

My First Impression

I felt so bad for David in the beginning. He just had zero luck and I felt his self doubt. You gave me a very great image from the beginning to the end.

The inner thoughts to dialogue was awesome and not drawn out. Sometimes that can be over done, not in this case. I couldn't imagine dating again for the life of me.

David sure did admire Laurine and I am so glad that she was a light hearted person who didn't judge him on his mishaps of a planned date.


Over All Thoughts

The Title


Interesting Title! I love reading the story after such an intriguing title.

My First Impression

Well this title sure summed a few things up. I loved the dialogue here. All the way through was an easy read and a read I have to say came personnel to me. I have a son who struggles with depression and we have had many conversations like this one. Not on a bridge or a gun but just like the title says, Chapters. We can't see the future, to sit in darkness all the time with no hope is a scary place to be.

I believe this young girl took her own life and was an angle sent to him. Life is made of chapters and only we can decide how the book ends. I really loved this story because in the end the sky lights up with stars and I think this helped him to sit the light of hope.



Over All Thoughts

The Title


The title suits this poem very much. Man throughout the years of ages will come to the end and pass.

My First Impression

I was intrigued by this piece as I also entered this contest. It allows the writer to be within no bounds to the rule. A strong character in this poem that travels for wisdom and only found death. It was a hardship of those times. Death being so common and the harshness of humanity was real.

The Muses That Inspired Me

A great descriptive free verse poem that held such devices that held up throughout the poem.

I loved these two verses

So through the mountain pass he wound
Through bitter wind and frost and snow
His tattered cloak around him bound
His wizard's staff a dismal glow

That scarcely on the graves did show
The runes, so aged, faint, and worn.
He studied them with care, to know
Their meaning, as he had foresworn.


great imagery here, I felt as though I was standing there myself. I loved the Assonance, which just flowed as I read.

You created a great journey for Bjorn the Brave!

Conventions I Would Suggest


I only have one suggestion and by all means you don't have to change a thing as this is your piece. And it's well done.
I suggest

Bjorn the Brave so boldly strode
Across the plains of Abirjeed
Following the southward road
Through hatethorn bush and cankerweed

adding punctuation as you did throughout the whole poem.
I would change the last sentence and replace the and with 'n as it takes away that extra syllable. I realize there is no syllable count to a free verse but this sentence left a lag.

Over All Thoughts

The Title


I love this title as I felt what was coming as I read.

My First Impression

Just beautiful! Such wonderful imagery and emotion in this poem. It's funny how the heart can paint a vivid picture of such memories. We can forget to do so many daily things but the heart never forgets a true love.

The Muses That Inspired Me

Again you have a knack for using many devices in poetry. I love writing poetry as well. I am much more confident about it these days.

My favorite


I dream of her
turned away to watch the trees.
pig-tailed and sweet.
bare feet tucked up
beneath her gauzy dress,
a broken bench in Stanley Park
the summer throne
my princess graced.

I loved this stanza as it just gave me a wonderful image. I could see the sun tracing her hair and her pig tails blonde as the sun. The personification was well done. A beautiful tone to this, as it's a memory locked in a a broken heart.

A pleasure! I have nothing to suggest as you brought this heartbreaker free verse to light !

Keep Writing


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The Title


I have to say that the title caught me off guard. It told me to read on! Not sure of the meaning, I have to admit that.

My First Impression

This is a dark piece for sure. The writer takes us a pit of darkness with a mare (dark horse) correct me there if I am wrong. The haunting of a paranormal being that can grasp the mind of the weak.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I noticed many great conventions in this poem. This being a free verse poem where there are no meter or rhyme rules. Stanzas are better left for formed poetry in my opinion. There are in line rhymes with assonance and metaphors. Personification is also a very great device in poetry. There many devices that I saw that hold this together well.


Conventions I Would Suggest


However with free verse it's quite important to give it a voice. I found this more like a told story than a free verse with it's own voice only because of the punctuation.

I would like to give you an example. This is only a suggestion and nothing more.

You wrote

The perpetual night is a dark jungle of shadows,
Prancing inside you like the ancient black mare
Ready to buck an unsuspecting victim.
She always knows that someone, somewhere, is nearby,
Fallen into the slums of the mind.



The perpetual night is a dark jungle of shadows-
prancing inside you like the ancient black mare;
ready to buck an unsuspecting victim.
She always knows that someone-somewhere is nearby,
fallen into the slums of the mind.

Over All Thoughts

The Title

The title didn't give away what the poem conveys, until I started reading it. Definitley relate.

My First Impression

I enjoyed this poem as many can connect to that empty feeling once it's all gone. We are still putting things away and I need to stop eating. LOL I also live in the North and you sure need to be strong enough to get through the dark wintery days. It seems so long at the time.

The Muses That Inspired Me

This being a free verse poem it read well. I noticed a few conventions that helped this poem read well. Assonance is clearly used throughout this piece. Free verse is a patterned rhythm in natural speech without a distinct meter, in saying that there are some conventions that would help your poem to flow.

Conventions I Would Suggest


This is only a suggestion as this is your work and yours alone. I would take out the stanzas as there is no meter count or end line rhyme. I would choose words that allow it to flow instead of that dead stop. It's a practice for sure.

Over All Thoughts

The Title

Well you sure got me with the title. Blind date it was!

My First Impression

Great little read as I experienced the same emotions back in the day while getting ready for a date. The primping and butterflies. I won't lie though, I don't miss those days.

What Inspired Me

So many women worry about their looks today and it's so sad to think that first impressions rely on how we look. It was heart breaking to read that this character questioned herself about her looks. I think confidence is underrated and we should love who we are. This is not abnormal in most cases.




Over All Thoughts