*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mcgupta44/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/20
Review Requests: ON
5,852 Public Reviews Given
5,942 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 16 17 18 19 -20- 21 22 23 24 25 ... Next
476
476
Review of The Attic  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice.

It is a good poem.


Long forgotten toys lay scattered randomly about
A smile touches my lips, there’s the stuffed bear I once couldn’t live without

>>> It should be--"forgotten toys lie". You need to use the present tense as in the rest of the poem. Lay is past tense of lie.


M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

०००००००००००





477
477
Review of Chains That Bind  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem written as a story about two persons, each of whom felt himself or herself bound and held down by imaginary forces of one's own mental making.

Very well expressed, along with the solution to the problem--"let go of imaginary fears. Live life to the full."

M C Gupta
478
478
Review of Do I Know You?  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a unique poem. You surely have put magnificently the sudden feeling when somebody meets a stranger for the first time and feels he/she knows him / her for ages.

You have a good flow and rhyme scheme. There are no mistakes.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

479
479
Review of Sunset  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a good story.



We laid there under a giant oak tree

>> grammatically wrong. Should be--We lay there under a giant oak tree

**

She was the first person I've ever loved.

>> Again bad grammar. Should be--She was the first person I had ever loved.


M C Gupta
480
480
Review of The Visit  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a good poem. However, you have committed a blunder.

It said in soft tone, “I mean you know harm.

>> It said in soft tone, “I mean you no harm.

I think a bit of editing / being careful always helps.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

481
481
Review of Stargazer  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed.
It is a nice sonnet.

The following is a bit intriguing, but very well written, the intrigue obviously intended.

M C Gupta

*********
POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner  (E)
A monthly contest for formal poetry in rhyme and meter.
#1017054 by Dr M C Gupta

"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT


482
482
Review of Dream  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem with a very novel theme very beautifully and poetically expressed. The following was exceptional--

Don’t be the coward
who saw his dreams high above himself and said
“I’m afraid of heights”
who saw broken glass on the ground and bent down
because going down was so much easier than up to the gems
going with gravity rather than defying it!
who said
“I can be happy with less”

**********

loose that smile
>> lose


M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT
483
483
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem. It has an excellent message--

What is yours, is yours.

When willfully given away,
what was yours
no longer belongs to you.

Recognize what is yours today;
hesitate to wave it away.
For once a gift is released,
forfeited is the right to redeem it.

--M C Gupta
484
484
Review of ANOTHER TOMORROW  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
it is a nice poem. It is certainly an inspiring account of a good deed done to save another's life, in the service of God. There are no mistakes.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

============================
485
485
Review of Strawberry  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem.

It might be a good idea to add as a footnote the following information--


The Lanturne is a five-line verse shaped like a Japanese lantern (so your poem must be centered) with a syllabic pattern of one, two, three, four, one.
http://www.fanstory.com/contestdetails.jsp?id=161

M C Gupta
486
486
Review of Yours and Mine  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
It is a nice poem.

The following needs to be looked into--

In the gardens we'll be like butterflies,
Elusive, yet embraces lovers desires.

>> It has two parts:

1--In the gardens we'll be like elusive

2-- yet embraces lovers desires.

The two parts don't gel together though they are connected. There is a grammatical problem.


M C Gupta
487
487
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice description of a winter scene in a park full of snow and mist and devoid of visible life, except the writer who was on a morning walk. To be bewitched by nature's beauty under such circumstances, and to describe the experience in a fascinating manner without any mistakes is a good experience for the reader.
488
488
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This poem tells about the excessive paperwork in a government office which appears useless to the writer. [I wonder why would anybody do so much paper work, which is costly, if it were really useless. [I am a lawyer and lawyers love records!]

The poem needs work up to really impress as a poem.

**

time spent at the ocean with it's seagulls flying free.
>> its

M C Gupta
489
489
Review of IN THE MIST  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice, short poem, dedicated to one's love that has gone. The feelings are simple, deep and clear, expressed softly.

There are no mistakes.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

============================
490
490
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+
This is a very well told story, an excellent one, from every count. You are lucky to have such writing skills.

A FEW EDITORIAL HINTS:



he has sold of his crop
>> sold off

**

I want to watch the cocoa trucks enter when the enter our premises.”
>> they enter

**

Late November on a Saturday, I set out on a tour of nearby villages meaning.
>> The sentence is incomplete

**


Pointing to patch of land where small plants had sprouted,
>> a patch

**

it was my mistake that I insisted one meeting her.
>> insisted on

**

Her every act had only one singular motivation; to pleasure her lover, me.
>> please her lover

**

I would have rated it 5.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

491
491
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
It is a nice poem. Written in a romantic mood, it portrays very well, in simple but realistic words, the emotions and aspirations of love that each woman harbours in her heart and wishes for.

However, wishes are not always true.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

============================
492
492
Review of Oh the Cost  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good poem, a very good one. Rhyme and rhythm and flow and imagery and symbols all add beauty to a poem, as do ornaments to a lady of virtue. The virtue of the Dame Poetry lies in its strong emotional appeal. Your poem has that virtue.

However, half a star is lost to the following:




As I laid there bleeding
>> lay

**

As I laid there, dead
>> lay


M C Gupta

=============================
493
493
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a most unique poem, as evident from:


This is a tribute to a friend of mine
Who helped me out through some tough times.
This friend always had a smile on her face
Everytime she visited my place.


I don't know what she looked like,
Like if her hair was gray or white,
Her skin dark or light,
But she was as fierce as a pike.


The idea is certainly original!

The poem is well structured and has flow.

M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT
494
494
Review of Soar  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice.
It is a nice poem. It has been rated average 4.5 by 27 viewers.

There are no mistakes. There is plenty of symbolism, maybe even some mysticism, that makes it necessary to read it twice.
There is flow, but can be enhanced.

M C Gupta

*********
POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner  (E)
A monthly contest for formal poetry in rhyme and meter.
#1017054 by Dr M C Gupta

"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

495
495
Review of Enlightened  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice.

Nice thoughts. The basic message is that one need not feel dark inside, whatever the circumstances.

There is a mistake--

It's more basic then you might think.
>> than


M C Gupta

*********
POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner  (E)
A monthly contest for formal poetry in rhyme and meter.
#1017054 by Dr M C Gupta

"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT




It's more basic then you might think.
496
496
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner.

It is a nice poem in quadrameter. The theme is very well dealt.

You have, admittedly, deviated in the following, but I don't think it is difficult to change it without loss of flow or correctness:

And subtle glances much too fleeting.
Aching for a different greeting,

>>>

And subtle glances too fleeting.
Aching for different greeting,

Anyhow, it is your poem and your choice.

***

There is another anomaly not noted by you. The following has only 7 syllables:

Carnal dreams disrupt my sleep.

***

M C Gupta

*********
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT

497
497
Review of Mother  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for entering your poem in the "SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed.
This is an excellent poem, very beautiful, written as a very good sonnet. I found no mistakes. There is a smooth flow. The feelings are simple, genuine and deep.


M C Gupta

*********
POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner  (E)
A monthly contest for formal poetry in rhyme and meter.
#1017054 by Dr M C Gupta

"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT
498
498
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good poem. It is short, it is simple, it has clear emotions and a matter of fact approach. Even though a free verse perm, it has flow, a quality that is essential for a poem. There are no mistakes. Some similes are novel--


His hands strong enough to lift my heavy heart
With eyes as blue as rippling blue waters
Hair as black as glistening roads in the rain



M C Gupta

*********
"POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner
"FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice
"SONNET AND GHAZAL CONTEST: Closed

"PLEASE REVIEW MY PORT


499
499
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)
It is a beautiful poem.

Some of the more beautiful lines are:


Remember that I am, will and always will be there,
To hear the lowest of your wails, the highest pitched tantrum,
Or just a joyful laughter of yours...

Because your voice gives me the tranquility,
Which even the most silent and beautiful evening,
Fails to give me when I think of you..

Because your voice runs through my ears as tunes of harmony,
Which even the early morning bird fails to give the rising sun;


M C Gupta
500
500
Review of I Love America!  
Review by Dr M C Gupta
Rated: E | (4.5)

The following is for your enjoyment [You wrote: I wonder if others feel this way about their country and would enjoy hearing from them.]

**

1--It is a nice piece, full of patriotism, written on the occasion of the national day of Independence. It should do proud to any citizen of the country.

2--I feel this way about my country, too, with the difference that I am proud of the fact that what India has given to the world, as a CONTINUING culture over 13000 years, is a sound base of knowledge, logic, science, philosophy, ethics and morality. It has by and large practiced the last two, history being witness that India has never committed aggression upon other lands for the sake of either propagating its religion or political-economical philosophy or beliefs. When others were persecuted or otherwise, India was the country that gave love and asylum to others, be they Jews; Zoroastrians, Christians or Sufis.

3--I am also proud of the fact that women have, over the millennia, enjoyed an exalted place in Indian society, barring some stray incidents and periods in a long history of currently 1.2 billion people, such deviation and variance being statistically unavoidable. Women of the Vedic period (circa 1500-1200 BCE), were epitomes of intellectual and spiritual attainments. The Vedas have volumes to say about these women, who both complemented and supplemented their male partners. When it comes to talking about significant female figures of the Vedic period, four names - Ghosha, Lopamudra, Sulabha Maitreyi, and Gargi - come to mind.--- http://hinduism.about.com/od/history/a/ghosha_lopa...


The names of Gargi and Maitreyi were among great scholars who engaged and even defeated men in Shastraatrtha (serious arguments of logic and knowledge). Even the wife of Kalidasa (probably 370-450 AD) was a great scholar and had declared that she would marry only him who could defeat her in Shastraartha.

4—I am also proud of a free press / media in this country (as per some international experts, even more free than in the USA, where, around the time of the the Iraq war, the “Embedded” journalists and the major national dailies in USA made a pretty sorry spectacle distorting news.

5—I am also proud of the Indian judicial system which is largely free and robust, as acknowledged by the international jurists, the hiccups that happen frequently being attributable to the law makers who are unable to find time to devote to the urgent task of making or amending laws.

6—Now, some comments on what you wrote:


If any of you reading this piece live in this country, you should understand you have the right to disagree with your lawmakers because of those people. If you live outside of the U.S.A., I hope your government gives you the same freedom we have here.

>>That's great, but nothing unique to the USA. There are other democracies where this applies, too.

***

This last, in part, is due to my country’s determination to bring our ideal of freedom to those less fortunate around the world. I can’t remember a time when we weren’t fighting somewhere, and I can only hope the politicians and military people know what they’re doing.

>>> Therein lies the rub. The USA has, unilaterally, chosen itself to be the grand Messiah of the world. The only difference is that while the real Messiah preached and practised love, the present day Messiah maneuvers and practices war, with the result that you cannot "can’t remember a time when we weren’t fighting somewhere". Nor can I. Sometimes these wars were engineered by imagining and falsely creating and propagating the vile WMD, which never existed, as a grand excuse to "protect" itself and the world from the WMD and to "save" the people from their only elected president in the whole of the Arab world!

***

God Bless America and all who believe in freedom!

>>> I whole heartedly agree with that. I would only like to add: "God smite those who kill others' freedom".

M C Gupta
5 July 2010
2,017 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 81 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mcgupta44/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/20