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1,852 Public Reviews Given
2,739 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I give honest and friendly reviews. I try to be as helpful as I can.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, comedy
Favorite Item Types
short stories, poems, activities, images
I will not review...
I will review up to 18 content ratings.
Public Reviews
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Review of Birthday Wolf  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your image.

*Exclaim* Hello! I thought I'd stop by your port to visit one of your 'anniversary or birthday' themed items, and I came across this really cute wolf!

It's small, and that's one of the things that's so adorable about it. Gosh, where did you find this image of a wolf decorated for a birthday celebration? I love the hat and noise-maker! *Laugh*

It' also unusual that when I clicked on it, I went to another image. This would make an interesting 'scavenger hunt' game! *Bigsmile*

Have fun during the review raid! *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review of Surprise Gift  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Wow! Bravo, Jyo! Your impressive poem seems expertly done!

I am still amazed at that swapped quatrain style...With first line reversed as fourth line. You put that together well, and still managed to tell a sweet story.

Ah, how sweet birthday parties for six year old children are! It brought back some memories of my own children's parties. Your readers will all be able to picture the cake, songs, laughter, and all the party atmosphere.

The use of emotionicons and the bright font was also a nice touch to this festive, swap quatrain poem. Nice work! *Smile*

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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your image.

*Exclaim* Hi WW! When I put together a list of suggested things for the Power group to review, I tried to include as many of our member items as I could find. This image was all I came across in your port with the anniversary or birthday theme, but I'm glad I found it! It's really so pretty!

I love the bright colors. ...Speaking of which...wow, this is so off topic...I just bought a dog toy in the exact same colors. It said on the package that it's no longer believed dogs are completely color blind. They now believe they can see 'yellows' and 'blues'. ...Just like in your image! *Bigsmile*

I thought the variety types of time-related objects in your image were great for the WDC Birthday theme. I especially liked the bright yellow hourglass.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review of Seven Years  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Hi Wyn! That was a very strongly emotional poem. I didn't see the ending coming, but I thought it was certainly a dramatic end to your bittersweet poem. I kept thinking, seven years is way too short!

I see this was a contest entry, so I hope you did well. It seems like a perfect poem. I loved the smooth rhyme pattern that this one follows. It was very pleasant to read, and it held my interest, stanza after stanza.

You thought of great sentiments for each stanza, and I noticed that you added and highlighted the word, 'seven' throughout. You didn't let your readers know what the contest prompt was, but it's very easy to figure out that it had much to do with the number, seven.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* I thought this was a perfect birthday poem! It complemented the picture really well, with the very first line of, "Ribbons, balloons, and candles...", setting the mood. The bright orange picture was also a nice touch under the bright and colorful image.

I enjoyed the mild rhyme. You called this a 'free verse' poem, but it seemed to follow a consistent pattern.

I think you succeeded in bringing out all the thoughts of a young person's birthday party in this poem. You certainly brought back memories of when I hosted parties for my children when they were younger. *Smile*

I liked the closure that you expressed at the end. The best part of birthdays are the memories! *Bigsmile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Hi, Sherri, I hope you're feeling better. I've been thinking about you! *Smile*

This is a terrific tribute to your mom. For most of us who have lost loved ones, their birthdays are tough to bear. The day comes and goes, and we have the knowledge that our loved ones are no longer around. You expressed this sorrow well in this bittersweet poem.

I loved the message! Your mom is gone, but not forgotten...Especially on such a memorable day. I lost both of my parents. Although I'm an adult, sometimes I feel like an orphan. There are a lifetime's worth of special days and memories...Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc. It helps to reminisce with other friends and family about good times we've all shared.

You're poem had a lulling rhyme, and the words were very tender. Nice work with finding just the right poetic words to honor your mother's memory. *Smile*

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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your In and Out.

*Exclaim* I saw that you're having a WDC Anniversary this week, so I thought I'd stop by to say, 'hello'.

This is such a fun In and Out! I enjoyed reading all of the entries, and I also posted a quick one of my own! *Bigsmile*

I also, of course, enjoyed reading the examples and the scenario in the heading. Very funny! *Laugh*

Wouldn't it be great if we could be able to leave 'misfortune cookies' along with our tips, after times of very bad service!

Hey, this is a contest, too! What a great idea for an ongoing contest. This is a great place to come when we need a smile. Nice work.

You know that I'm going to be thinking of this In and Out the next time I have a bad restaurant experience! Let's hope it won't be as soon as this weekend! LOL

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your In and Out.

*Exclaim* Hello! *Smile* Gosh, this In and Out is almost as old as WDC itself! I'm guessing that when you created this, our site was still called Stories.com. Wow! That brings back many great memories. *Bigsmile*

I had the honor of adding the start of a new sentence. It was fun reading the 'story' that this collection of 'three word' additions made up. People are really having a great time with it, as did I. *Smile*

In the day of puzzle games on phones and everywhere we look, it's fantastic to know that we have so many of our own right here.

I hope you're enjoying the 12th birthday festivities. *Balloonr*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poll.

*Exclaim* Hello! I noticed that you share an account birthday with our great site, so I thought I'd stop by with a visit. *Smile*

What a great idea for a poll! Thanks for putting it together. Most everyone loves polls...I think they're so much fun!

You didn't have my choice, so I voted for 'other'. I love fairy tale fantasy stories. I guess I always enjoyed concepts like, 'The Wizard of Oz', 'Cinderella', 'Harry Potter', 'Lightning Thief', and even 'Smurfs'. I love to read about magic of any kind. I also enjoy reading about talking animals, unicorns, and worlds of exotic colors and plants.

I think you have several great choices, but there are a few which are very similar. ...'All'...'Other'...And another type of 'other'. I think you might do some more research and eliminate one of them. I see that you've already had lots of votes, maybe you can now edit one of the choices to reflect some of your feedback. *Smile*

Bottom line - I had lots of fun talking with you about fantasy stories. Thanks for making this poll. *Delight*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Little Moments  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Hi, and welcome to WDC! *Smile*

I enjoyed reading your loving poem. As life goes by, we all hold dear memories in our heads. There are many moments where we'd just love to freeze time and stay right in that moment forever. I think you expressed one of those delightful times well.

In one of your lines, you wrote how great it would be if the children could see how much their mom loves them. After reading your poem, I was thinking that those children were so happy because they are filled with love. The love they feel is reflected in their happiness.

I loved the way you centered and colored the font. The larger size for the title was nice, too...Very impressive for a new member! Keep doing what you're doing! *Delight*

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Review of Sista Jenny!  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your limerick poem.

*Exclaim* Hi Carol, and Happy WDC Account Anniversary! It's great that you share an account birthday with our site...You can enjoy the festivities and decorations for your celebration, too! *Delight*

I love funny poems, and that's just what limericks are all about! I wanted to send you along a review for your anniversary. I saw this one, and knew right away that this would be the one.

I always say that my daughter was born into the wrong decade. She would have been a really good hippie. She dresses like a hippie, and is so into the Beatles. I guess, though, the best 'hippies' are those who were born way too late, and are young here now. They all seem to be well into fitness and eating right.*Laugh*

Your limerick flowed really smoothly. You kept the form of the style well, while telling a great story. ...And you added just the perfect amount of humor. I especially loved the intentional misspelling of 'twenty', in order to rhyme with 'Jenny'! Nice work!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a fantasy story, about a girl born with powers.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Welcome to WDC. I'm impressed that you already have a few chapters of a great story in your port. Keep on writing! *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I found this first chapter to be really interesting. I liked how you build up the perplexing thoughts that your character is plagued with. It gives your readers a feel for what she's going through.

I love the Tokyo setting for the story. It's great that you told this in your first chapter, because it helps your readers to imagine the scene.

I thought it was great that you added suspense at the end of this chapter. We wonder who sent her, and how it was that she came to be born into this world of magic, where electrical devices explode in her presence.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You have the makings of a really fantastic story here. I do think that it needs some polishing.

I would start by breaking up your paragraphs into smaller paragraphs. This will give some air in between the thoughts and points of information.

You might also add a few more sentences into these smaller paragraphs, to clarify some of the information. The beginning of stories are the parts where readers try to get a grasp of what is going on. At times, I thought the story was progressing too quickly to understand what was going on.

For example, we never found out what the character's name was, or what she looks like. We aren't sure what her people are like. We don't have any descriptions of her surroundings. These small details will fill more into your paragraphs, without rushing through the story.

Also, I think you might edit some of your wording to make your story have a smoother flow. Here you wrote: "I think so, sometimes. Times when my head turns into my mind and floats away from reality." You might, for example, change that to something like: "I think so. Sometimes my mind seems to float away from reality, as though in a dream."

I would recommend going back and checking to make sure there are no typos in your first chapter. If people see too many typos, they might be reluctant to read your other chapters.

I found a few - "Nataz shook her head to clear it, many times those fisrt real thoughts..." ...Should be,"first".

"A deep humming sound rumbled frrom deep within..." ...Should be, "from".

You might consider writing a short introduction about what your chapters will be about. This could get more readers interested in your story. How many people would choose a book without a clue what it's about. I always read the book jackets and introductions.

Keep the story going, because you have fine creativity. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Secret of Success  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* This story can be an inspiration to any student who is worrying about taking a test. I'll have to remember the link to send it to students I know on our site. With the new school year underway, I'm sure there will be many in similar situations.

You did a great job in expressing so much with the limitations of wording. Your readers feel the stress which the student is experiencing, and the relief when he realizes that he can breeze right through the exam with flying colors. Nice work! *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* LOL Why didn't I think of telling my kids that the teddy bear would bite them if we bought it! You put the genres of 'parenting' and 'drama' on this one, but I would also add comedy. I thought the mom's character in your story had a bit of humor in her personality! *Delight*

This was a cute little piece. Nice job in a small space. I could picture the salesgirl's expression. Well, she almost had another sale, but there would be no way the child would want that teddy bear now...I would think she'd never want any stuffed toy ever again! *Laugh*

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Review of Retribution  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* I decided to read this story because I saw the word, 'sorcerer' in your brief introduction. Wow! That was no 'Harry Potter' story - You're sorcerer is more like Voldamort! LOL Kidding - I knew there would be dark horror in this one. *Laugh*

I thought your story was very scary. Your readers could feel the torment which the sorcerer was going through. We realized his desperation when he prayed to a Lord of Darkness for relief.

I thought you presented the strange twist well, and the occurrences which led up to it. I also thought that you gave the story good closure, by having his followers present the morning after to scary scene. Nice work.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your forum.

*Exclaim* Hello again! *Smile*
I stopped by your guest book the other day to sign it, but I didn't get a chance to give it a review and some stars until now.

Gosh, this is much more than a guest book, because you told us some things about yourself in the heading. Guest books are always nice, since it gives your visitors a place to 'check in'. I enjoyed yours, because of it's terrific heading.

I was really impressed. You didn't say which country you live in now, but you did mention that you've been to 22 countries! My son and his wife live moved to England about 3 years ago. They're trying to visit all of Europe while they're over there, but I think it will be a long while before they get up to 22!

It's also impressive that you speak 5 languages fluently. I have a hard time trying to learn Spanish, so I know that's not an easy thing to do. *Smile*

I liked the way you spoke about yourself, your family, and WDC. It completed the personal feel of your guestbook. I hope your mom is feeling well.

I recognized lots of names in the posts, so I can see that you made many friends here in the three and a half years you've been a member. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

I'll be sending you a few reviews as 'gift 10' of my package from "A Dozen Delights Auction" . Thanks again for participating.

*Exclaim* “Mom, said you would be showing off your diamond collection today!” Oh my gosh! You really had me cracking up! That was so unexpected, as I had no clue that this story would be so funny!

I think you captured the innocence of a young child's personality well in this captivating story. I could certainly picture a boy crashing his parents dinner party, and blurting out secret things which he had overheard. How would he know that these conversations shouldn't be repeated? ...And then the books! So funny! *Laugh*

I think you succeeded in putting together a great scenario. You're readers get a glimpse at a typical family day, where the dad came home and mentioned that the boss and his wife were coming for dinner. The couple's son had been watching TV instead of doing his homework. Later on, the dinner guests arrived. This all seemed believable and was written in a way which held my attention.

I can't really find anything to fix in this story. The only little things I thought of which might improve it, would be to change words such as, I will to I'll. I normally wouldn't expect a husband to speak so formally when he's talking to his wife in a casual setting.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


Party balloons
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Review of Useful Software  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Confettio**Confettib*HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY WDC*Confettigr**Confettiy*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Partyhatr* Hi The StoryMaster ! *Smile* I wanted to take this moment to give you a great big THANK YOU for giving us the opportunity to have so many fun years on our wonderful site. Without you, this little 'world' of ours wouldn't be possible.

So, I don't know how I missed this little article of yours, but it holds a wealth of helpful information. I'll definitely be sharing this with my husband, so we can make sure we have our computers up to date with good safety and tools.

I like the clear explanations, as well as the handy links, for firewalls and anti-virus protection. It also might come in handy to use that file transfer program and the compression program, too. *Smile*

I'll add this to my favorites, in case you ever decide to add more links to this article. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider
269
269
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Exclaim* You presented terrific thoughts in this nice article. Your last line sums that up well, and gives this item perfect closure: "...thinking helps rather than hinders action."

You wrote this in a very pleasant way, which kept my interest and had me reading on. It makes me happy to know that in our modern world, we still have people like you, who are always thinking of ways to make our world better. *Smile*

One thing which I noticed about your article which would improve the look of it would be in creating a more airy feel throughout the lines. Right now, it has the look of one block of words. Defining your ideas into small paragraphs, and skipping lines between those paragraphs will make your article more reader friendly.

In addition, you might go back and reread the article, checking for tiny typos. In one case, you capitalized, 'Organization', in the middle of a sentence. Somewhere else, you left lots of spaces between words. A polished look will give this great article the finish it deserves. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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270
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your real life story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! I was on the edge of my seat, reading your very intense story! You're not afraid of any animal... Not even a huge alligator.

Just today, I saw on the TV that an alligator wrestler almost lost his hand, and the other day, a tour guide actually did lose his hand. You came close to losing your head! But you really knew just what you were doing, and I'm sure that impressed that retired marine officer.

It's impressive that you were am animal control officer. I always enjoyed watching Steve Erwin or Billy the exterminator relocate animals like gaters on TV. You did this in real life.

I could picture a hundred pound young lady moving a big alligator out of the road. You know all about them. I wouldn't have guessed that big 'Junior' was only trying to get back to where he used to live.

I never thought about alligators as living dinosaurs. I learned a lot from your well written story, and I'm impressed at all the work you've done with animals and all of the knowledge you have of them. Thanks for sharing. *Smile*

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My animated bird sig
271
271
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Exclaim* Hi Cait! Happy Anniversary month! *Smile*

I really enjoyed reading your poem. It reminds me of a day in a few of the most wonderful parks I've ever been in. I was just talking with my husband yesterday about a dull park in my area. It's like a waste of space. There's really nothing in it. I would love for it to be just like the park you described in your poem.

I could really picture all that was going on in the poem you wrote. There were dogs playing, teens laughing, lovers kissing, old men talking, people skating and riding bicycles - Gosh, you didn't leave anything out!

I really enjoyed the 'colors' of the sights you described. I could imagine the colorful balloons, and the green of the grass.

I would have liked to know more about this contest. You have some words in bold type. Is there a link which you might be able to add at the bottom? If not, perhaps you might write a brief description of the prompt and why certain words are in bold.

If you do go back in to edit, it might be a good idea to add a genre or two. Right now, you have 'other' for the only genre. When I search genres, I normally don't look under 'other'. You might receive more views if you fill in the three choices.

Other than that, if this were my poem, I would center it and add some colors. It's such a pretty poem.
Thanks for sharing it! I hope it did well in that contest!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
272
272
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your cNote shop.

*Exclaim* Happy Account Anniversary month, Shelley! *Smile*

Wow! This cNote shop really is enchanting! I'll have to see if this is already in my favorites, because this is one I'd like to keep handy. You really have a large variety of unique cNotes. I could have used a couple of them yesterday! LOL

My favorite is the really cute pink one, which reads, "My Wish to You". It's really sweet and different.

I also like that you have thank you's for reviews and one just because. You also included Congratulations, get well, and much more. I love the fairy and unicorn theme. The colors are beautiful and the shop is set up well.

Nice work in the variety of prices, too. With prices from 600 to 1000, there's something there for everyone. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


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273
273
Review of Angry Elk Attack  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! You battled a wild elk which was bigger than a horse! Wow! You're a brave one for sure!!

You had mentioned a gator to me, so I was curious to see your animal stories. This one struck my interest because I had been away for a trip around the United States not too long ago, and I remember seeing a heard of wild Elk along the roadside. Several cars pulled over to take pictures, so my husband and I did, too. The large animals were close enough to get some pretty nice pictures, even with my small pocket camera.

I love the way you wrote this story. It was captivating from the beginning to the end. I had no idea where it was going...You took the tractor on what seemed like a routine trek to feed the animals, and then a bull elk decided that he didn't like you around very much!

It must have been very scary to be all alone and in need of thinking fast to save your own life. You added in a large amount of intense suspense into this well written story. I wondered how you would get out of that bad situation.

Gosh, after you got out of it - Shook up, but alright - You still felt okay with the elk's behavior...Feeling that he was only doing what was natural behavior for him. I like the way you ended the story, with a caution for people to be careful around unpredictable wild animals. You even told how they differed from domestic animals. Nice work, Les! *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


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274
274
Review of The Beach  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* I enjoyed reading your very inspirational story. While it was sad and heartwarming, it had a great, upbeat moral to it.

I'll have to admit, I didn't expect to read those words as they unfolded...They actually gave me goosebumps...

Last week, my beloved dog died. That was more than I could bear, as so much else has been going on in my life...This was the first Father's Day without my dad...Etc. etc... I don't have a beach nearby, but I took a walk deep into the woods by myself. I ended up just sitting down on a log, uncaring about any of my surroundings..I just needed to be alone.

I could relate to the narration about sitting on a beach in the rain and cold...Just crying until her eyes were rimmed with red and the tears couldn't even fall anymore. ...The need to be alone...Not wanting to show weakness or pain.

I could really feel the emotion of the words in your story. I didn't see any errors, even though the average rating you received so far doesn't show perfection. I guess you've done much editing and polishing because I thought it was great. *Smile*
Bravo for all of the great time and effort you put into this story.

What a great scenario...A sea gull moves on to tend to the loved ones who are with him now, rather than dwell on the past. The small bird was an inspiration to the woman in the story, and he helped her feel better and stronger. I also thought it was a good idea not to go into details about the loss, but rather to keep it sort of vague and general instead. Great job with putting this story together. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
by Maryann


My animated bird sig
275
275
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Hi Pen, and welcome to Writing.Com. *Smile*

Wow! What an intense story you put together! That sure was scary to read!

You expressed a sense of paranoia. I liked how your narration mentioned watching a movie, and then imagining paranormal activities afterward. Your readers get a glimpse into the narrators mind, and understand his fear and confusion.

Now, I'd like to suggest going back to edit your item. You already have the base of the story, but it has the appearance of a rough draft which needs to be finished.

You might start by leaving space in between paragraphs. Right now, it looks like one huge block of type. Did you notice how I left space in between my thoughts and ideas in this review? Your story will have a more inviting look if you do the same.

After you define the paragraphs, you could then go back and eliminate all of the abbreviated words. For example, in your brief introduction, you wrote: "no..!!! it can travel into ur mind...!!!"

While that brief introduction screams hints of suspense, the word 'your' should be spelled out. When we pick up a book to read a novel, words are always spelled out. Shortcuts of that nature are inappropriate in great stories and fine writing. You have the makings of a great story. You can do simple and little things to improve it. *Smile*

The spelling can also be improved. You can easily do this by putting the story into a spell checker. You will notice immediately which words are spelled incorrectly.

You can also improve the areas where capitalization is necessary.

Those little things distract from the good story within. You have creative ideas. With a small bit of effort, your good story will shine through. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  [E]
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by Maryann


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