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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mhicks/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: OFF
1,693 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I give honest and friendly reviews. I try to be as helpful as I can.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, comedy
Favorite Item Types
short stories, poems, activities, images
I will not review...
I will review up to 18 content ratings.
Public Reviews
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Review of Dear Maryann  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh! I don't know why Charles never got around to doing anything with these wonderful letters! He never showed any of them to me, and he said that he didn't get around to finishing this activity up. Every now and then, I come across one...Like this gem!

I was scanning members ports for more items to list to our group for the next review raid, when I happened upon this one...Yes, it will also be on the list. *Bigsmile*

I loved this story! I could picture my doggy saying all of that! It was such a great idea to put it together that way. It was so humorous! I chuckled through the whole thing.

I could picture the dogs mind, wondering where these 'friends' are, and when they might be coming over. I could imagine him wondering what this 'net' is...Fishing net? LOL So funny! *Laugh*

Well, now that I got distracted again, I guess I'll continue that list tomorrow! LOL

Thanks for making my day. *Heart*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your 'Birthday Card'.

*Exclaim*What a terrific WDC 12th Birthday idea. It figures that you would put this item together. *Delight*

It certainly is going to be the biggest birthday card ever! *Partyhatr*

I was a bit confused as to why I would be signing the card at the top of everyone else's addition...I'm used to In and Out's where the additions come at the end...But with this one it really doesn't matter, as the point is to get lots of wishes on it.

I love that image! I didn't even think of our site as becoming a 'teenager' next year! LOL

Thanks for doing all you do. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your In and Out.

*Exclaim* Hello! *Smile* Gosh, this In and Out is almost as old as WDC itself! I'm guessing that when you created this, our site was still called Stories.com. Wow! That brings back many great memories. *Bigsmile*

I had the honor of adding the start of a new sentence. It was fun reading the 'story' that this collection of 'three word' additions made up. People are really having a great time with it, as did I. *Smile*

In the day of puzzle games on phones and everywhere we look, it's fantastic to know that we have so many of our own right here.

I hope you're enjoying the 12th birthday festivities. *Balloonr*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poll.

*Exclaim* Hello! I noticed that you share an account birthday with our great site, so I thought I'd stop by with a visit. *Smile*

What a great idea for a poll! Thanks for putting it together. Most everyone loves polls...I think they're so much fun!

You didn't have my choice, so I voted for 'other'. I love fairy tale fantasy stories. I guess I always enjoyed concepts like, 'The Wizard of Oz', 'Cinderella', 'Harry Potter', 'Lightning Thief', and even 'Smurfs'. I love to read about magic of any kind. I also enjoy reading about talking animals, unicorns, and worlds of exotic colors and plants.

I think you have several great choices, but there are a few which are very similar. ...'All'...'Other'...And another type of 'other'. I think you might do some more research and eliminate one of them. I see that you've already had lots of votes, maybe you can now edit one of the choices to reflect some of your feedback. *Smile*

Bottom line - I had lots of fun talking with you about fantasy stories. Thanks for making this poll. *Delight*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review of Little Moments  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Hi, and welcome to WDC! *Smile*

I enjoyed reading your loving poem. As life goes by, we all hold dear memories in our heads. There are many moments where we'd just love to freeze time and stay right in that moment forever. I think you expressed one of those delightful times well.

In one of your lines, you wrote how great it would be if the children could see how much their mom loves them. After reading your poem, I was thinking that those children were so happy because they are filled with love. The love they feel is reflected in their happiness.

I loved the way you centered and colored the font. The larger size for the title was nice, too...Very impressive for a new member! Keep doing what you're doing! *Delight*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a fantasy story, about a girl born with powers.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Welcome to WDC. I'm impressed that you already have a few chapters of a great story in your port. Keep on writing! *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I found this first chapter to be really interesting. I liked how you build up the perplexing thoughts that your character is plagued with. It gives your readers a feel for what she's going through.

I love the Tokyo setting for the story. It's great that you told this in your first chapter, because it helps your readers to imagine the scene.

I thought it was great that you added suspense at the end of this chapter. We wonder who sent her, and how it was that she came to be born into this world of magic, where electrical devices explode in her presence.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You have the makings of a really fantastic story here. I do think that it needs some polishing.

I would start by breaking up your paragraphs into smaller paragraphs. This will give some air in between the thoughts and points of information.

You might also add a few more sentences into these smaller paragraphs, to clarify some of the information. The beginning of stories are the parts where readers try to get a grasp of what is going on. At times, I thought the story was progressing too quickly to understand what was going on.

For example, we never found out what the character's name was, or what she looks like. We aren't sure what her people are like. We don't have any descriptions of her surroundings. These small details will fill more into your paragraphs, without rushing through the story.

Also, I think you might edit some of your wording to make your story have a smoother flow. Here you wrote: "I think so, sometimes. Times when my head turns into my mind and floats away from reality." You might, for example, change that to something like: "I think so. Sometimes my mind seems to float away from reality, as though in a dream."

I would recommend going back and checking to make sure there are no typos in your first chapter. If people see too many typos, they might be reluctant to read your other chapters.

I found a few - "Nataz shook her head to clear it, many times those fisrt real thoughts..." ...Should be,"first".

"A deep humming sound rumbled frrom deep within..." ...Should be, "from".

You might consider writing a short introduction about what your chapters will be about. This could get more readers interested in your story. How many people would choose a book without a clue what it's about. I always read the book jackets and introductions.

Keep the story going, because you have fine creativity. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review of Secret of Success  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* This story can be an inspiration to any student who is worrying about taking a test. I'll have to remember the link to send it to students I know on our site. With the new school year underway, I'm sure there will be many in similar situations.

You did a great job in expressing so much with the limitations of wording. Your readers feel the stress which the student is experiencing, and the relief when he realizes that he can breeze right through the exam with flying colors. Nice work! *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* LOL Why didn't I think of telling my kids that the teddy bear would bite them if we bought it! You put the genres of 'parenting' and 'drama' on this one, but I would also add comedy. I thought the mom's character in your story had a bit of humor in her personality! *Delight*

This was a cute little piece. Nice job in a small space. I could picture the salesgirl's expression. Well, she almost had another sale, but there would be no way the child would want that teddy bear now...I would think she'd never want any stuffed toy ever again! *Laugh*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review of Retribution  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* I decided to read this story because I saw the word, 'sorcerer' in your brief introduction. Wow! That was no 'Harry Potter' story - You're sorcerer is more like Voldamort! LOL Kidding - I knew there would be dark horror in this one. *Laugh*

I thought your story was very scary. Your readers could feel the torment which the sorcerer was going through. We realized his desperation when he prayed to a Lord of Darkness for relief.

I thought you presented the strange twist well, and the occurrences which led up to it. I also thought that you gave the story good closure, by having his followers present the morning after to scary scene. Nice work.


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your forum.

*Exclaim* Hello again! *Smile*
I stopped by your guest book the other day to sign it, but I didn't get a chance to give it a review and some stars until now.

Gosh, this is much more than a guest book, because you told us some things about yourself in the heading. Guest books are always nice, since it gives your visitors a place to 'check in'. I enjoyed yours, because of it's terrific heading.

I was really impressed. You didn't say which country you live in now, but you did mention that you've been to 22 countries! My son and his wife live moved to England about 3 years ago. They're trying to visit all of Europe while they're over there, but I think it will be a long while before they get up to 22!

It's also impressive that you speak 5 languages fluently. I have a hard time trying to learn Spanish, so I know that's not an easy thing to do. *Smile*

I liked the way you spoke about yourself, your family, and WDC. It completed the personal feel of your guestbook. I hope your mom is feeling well.

I recognized lots of names in the posts, so I can see that you made many friends here in the three and a half years you've been a member. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

I'll be sending you a few reviews as 'gift 10' of my package from "A Dozen Delights Auction. Thanks again for participating.

*Exclaim* “Mom, said you would be showing off your diamond collection today!” Oh my gosh! You really had me cracking up! That was so unexpected, as I had no clue that this story would be so funny!

I think you captured the innocence of a young child's personality well in this captivating story. I could certainly picture a boy crashing his parents dinner party, and blurting out secret things which he had overheard. How would he know that these conversations shouldn't be repeated? ...And then the books! So funny! *Laugh*

I think you succeeded in putting together a great scenario. You're readers get a glimpse at a typical family day, where the dad came home and mentioned that the boss and his wife were coming for dinner. The couple's son had been watching TV instead of doing his homework. Later on, the dinner guests arrived. This all seemed believable and was written in a way which held my attention.

I can't really find anything to fix in this story. The only little things I thought of which might improve it, would be to change words such as, I will to I'll. I normally wouldn't expect a husband to speak so formally when he's talking to his wife in a casual setting.


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


Party balloons

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Review of Useful Software  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Confettio**Confettib*HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY WDC*Confettigr**Confettiy*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Partyhatr* Hi The StoryMaster ! *Smile* I wanted to take this moment to give you a great big THANK YOU for giving us the opportunity to have so many fun years on our wonderful site. Without you, this little 'world' of ours wouldn't be possible.

So, I don't know how I missed this little article of yours, but it holds a wealth of helpful information. I'll definitely be sharing this with my husband, so we can make sure we have our computers up to date with good safety and tools.

I like the clear explanations, as well as the handy links, for firewalls and anti-virus protection. It also might come in handy to use that file transfer program and the compression program, too. *Smile*

I'll add this to my favorites, in case you ever decide to add more links to this article. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


A party hat divider
213
213
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your article.

*Exclaim* You presented terrific thoughts in this nice article. Your last line sums that up well, and gives this item perfect closure: "...thinking helps rather than hinders action."

You wrote this in a very pleasant way, which kept my interest and had me reading on. It makes me happy to know that in our modern world, we still have people like you, who are always thinking of ways to make our world better. *Smile*

One thing which I noticed about your article which would improve the look of it would be in creating a more airy feel throughout the lines. Right now, it has the look of one block of words. Defining your ideas into small paragraphs, and skipping lines between those paragraphs will make your article more reader friendly.

In addition, you might go back and reread the article, checking for tiny typos. In one case, you capitalized, 'Organization', in the middle of a sentence. Somewhere else, you left lots of spaces between words. A polished look will give this great article the finish it deserves. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your real life story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! I was on the edge of my seat, reading your very intense story! You're not afraid of any animal... Not even a huge alligator.

Just today, I saw on the TV that an alligator wrestler almost lost his hand, and the other day, a tour guide actually did lose his hand. You came close to losing your head! But you really knew just what you were doing, and I'm sure that impressed that retired marine officer.

It's impressive that you were am animal control officer. I always enjoyed watching Steve Erwin or Billy the exterminator relocate animals like gaters on TV. You did this in real life.

I could picture a hundred pound young lady moving a big alligator out of the road. You know all about them. I wouldn't have guessed that big 'Junior' was only trying to get back to where he used to live.

I never thought about alligators as living dinosaurs. I learned a lot from your well written story, and I'm impressed at all the work you've done with animals and all of the knowledge you have of them. Thanks for sharing. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Exclaim* Hi Cait! Happy Anniversary month! *Smile*

I really enjoyed reading your poem. It reminds me of a day in a few of the most wonderful parks I've ever been in. I was just talking with my husband yesterday about a dull park in my area. It's like a waste of space. There's really nothing in it. I would love for it to be just like the park you described in your poem.

I could really picture all that was going on in the poem you wrote. There were dogs playing, teens laughing, lovers kissing, old men talking, people skating and riding bicycles - Gosh, you didn't leave anything out!

I really enjoyed the 'colors' of the sights you described. I could imagine the colorful balloons, and the green of the grass.

I would have liked to know more about this contest. You have some words in bold type. Is there a link which you might be able to add at the bottom? If not, perhaps you might write a brief description of the prompt and why certain words are in bold.

If you do go back in to edit, it might be a good idea to add a genre or two. Right now, you have 'other' for the only genre. When I search genres, I normally don't look under 'other'. You might receive more views if you fill in the three choices.

Other than that, if this were my poem, I would center it and add some colors. It's such a pretty poem.
Thanks for sharing it! I hope it did well in that contest!


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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216
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your cNote shop.

*Exclaim* Happy Account Anniversary month, Shelley! *Smile*

Wow! This cNote shop really is enchanting! I'll have to see if this is already in my favorites, because this is one I'd like to keep handy. You really have a large variety of unique cNotes. I could have used a couple of them yesterday! LOL

My favorite is the really cute pink one, which reads, "My Wish to You". It's really sweet and different.

I also like that you have thank you's for reviews and one just because. You also included Congratulations, get well, and much more. I love the fairy and unicorn theme. The colors are beautiful and the shop is set up well.

Nice work in the variety of prices, too. With prices from 600 to 1000, there's something there for everyone. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review of Angry Elk Attack  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Oh my gosh, Lesley! You battled a wild elk which was bigger than a horse! Wow! You're a brave one for sure!!

You had mentioned a gator to me, so I was curious to see your animal stories. This one struck my interest because I had been away for a trip around the United States not too long ago, and I remember seeing a heard of wild Elk along the roadside. Several cars pulled over to take pictures, so my husband and I did, too. The large animals were close enough to get some pretty nice pictures, even with my small pocket camera.

I love the way you wrote this story. It was captivating from the beginning to the end. I had no idea where it was going...You took the tractor on what seemed like a routine trek to feed the animals, and then a bull elk decided that he didn't like you around very much!

It must have been very scary to be all alone and in need of thinking fast to save your own life. You added in a large amount of intense suspense into this well written story. I wondered how you would get out of that bad situation.

Gosh, after you got out of it - Shook up, but alright - You still felt okay with the elk's behavior...Feeling that he was only doing what was natural behavior for him. I like the way you ended the story, with a caution for people to be careful around unpredictable wild animals. You even told how they differed from domestic animals. Nice work, Les! *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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by Maryann


My animated bird sig
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Review of The Beach  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* I enjoyed reading your very inspirational story. While it was sad and heartwarming, it had a great, upbeat moral to it.

I'll have to admit, I didn't expect to read those words as they unfolded...They actually gave me goosebumps...

Last week, my beloved dog died. That was more than I could bear, as so much else has been going on in my life...This was the first Father's Day without my dad...Etc. etc... I don't have a beach nearby, but I took a walk deep into the woods by myself. I ended up just sitting down on a log, uncaring about any of my surroundings..I just needed to be alone.

I could relate to the narration about sitting on a beach in the rain and cold...Just crying until her eyes were rimmed with red and the tears couldn't even fall anymore. ...The need to be alone...Not wanting to show weakness or pain.

I could really feel the emotion of the words in your story. I didn't see any errors, even though the average rating you received so far doesn't show perfection. I guess you've done much editing and polishing because I thought it was great. *Smile*
Bravo for all of the great time and effort you put into this story.

What a great scenario...A sea gull moves on to tend to the loved ones who are with him now, rather than dwell on the past. The small bird was an inspiration to the woman in the story, and he helped her feel better and stronger. I also thought it was a good idea not to go into details about the loss, but rather to keep it sort of vague and general instead. Great job with putting this story together. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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My animated bird sig
219
219
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your story.

*Exclaim* Hi Pen, and welcome to Writing.Com. *Smile*

Wow! What an intense story you put together! That sure was scary to read!

You expressed a sense of paranoia. I liked how your narration mentioned watching a movie, and then imagining paranormal activities afterward. Your readers get a glimpse into the narrators mind, and understand his fear and confusion.

Now, I'd like to suggest going back to edit your item. You already have the base of the story, but it has the appearance of a rough draft which needs to be finished.

You might start by leaving space in between paragraphs. Right now, it looks like one huge block of type. Did you notice how I left space in between my thoughts and ideas in this review? Your story will have a more inviting look if you do the same.

After you define the paragraphs, you could then go back and eliminate all of the abbreviated words. For example, in your brief introduction, you wrote: "no..!!! it can travel into ur mind...!!!"

While that brief introduction screams hints of suspense, the word 'your' should be spelled out. When we pick up a book to read a novel, words are always spelled out. Shortcuts of that nature are inappropriate in great stories and fine writing. You have the makings of a great story. You can do simple and little things to improve it. *Smile*

The spelling can also be improved. You can easily do this by putting the story into a spell checker. You will notice immediately which words are spelled incorrectly.

You can also improve the areas where capitalization is necessary.

Those little things distract from the good story within. You have creative ideas. With a small bit of effort, your good story will shine through. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Click to go to the WDC Power Reviewers
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Review of CANT SHED A TEAR!  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Star*This review contains some of my brief thoughts about your poem.

*Exclaim* Nice work, Dena, in writing this bittersweet poem. I can feel all of the emotion which you poured into it.

You certainly did succeed in expressing the heartache and frustration one feels from the pain of sorrow. You wrote how one cries and cries until they are so broken, and can't cry anymore. Your readers will relate to this and understand your poem for sure. *Smile*

I would suggest changing the brief introduction. That's what someone sees while scrolling through items in hopes of finding something which appeals to them.

You wrote: "fixed it up so itll be better!! PLEASE REVIEW!!"

Why not give a hint of your poetic talents instead? I love the line.."Did I run out of tears in my tear bank?" I would put that in the brief introduction instead of what you have now.

Now, as for the look of the poem...

When I text, I type quick little thoughts and I don't bother with anything like apostrophes or punctuation.

Your entire poem looks the way my phone texting does.

I would suggest going back to Capitalize all of the small letter 'i's and everything else which needs capitalization, such as in this example: "i give up trying to cry"

Also, I would add appropriate apostrophes, such as in this example: "to the point where i cant cry anymore"

Nice work putting poetic thoughts together. Polish it up a bit more, as it deserves. *Delight*


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Review of I Miss You  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup*Reviewed by Maryann *Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a tribute to a person's deceased Grandmother.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Your poem touched my heart, since I lost my father in November. We were very close, and I thought I'd have him in my life for many more years. This was the first Father's Day without him, and I sensed an empty feeling. My condolences to you for your lost Grandmother. Losing someone is never easy.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't notice any errors. Nice work in putting this one together.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I enjoyed the simplicity of your poem. It was delicate, yet it said a whole lot.

You succeeded in expressing the tender thoughts you always feel when you see something that reminds you of your beloved Grandma. You see a girl with her Grandma, and you remember yours. You tenderly keep her memory close to your heart.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You wrote this well. I wouldn't change a thing. The only suggestions I might add, would be to perhaps spark the item with centering, font, or color. Nice work! *Smile*

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION:This is a poll about historical fiction.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Hello Jali! I liked the idea of your poll. It's definitely a poll which I haven't seen here on WDC.

I've added a bit of history to my writing from time to time. I think it adds to 'realness'. I normally don't read war stories because they usually make me sad, but I took your poll and I chose Colonial. I always find anything 'colonial' fascinating.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't come across any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I think you did a good job in thinking of all the choices. After taking the poll, I can see that the votes are mostly all spread out. Congratulations on receiving seven votes already! *Smile*

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You might consider adding more to the item body before the choices. For example, you could write a line about each choice. This way, those taking the survey who aren't too familiar with history could get a quick refresher of what's involved in each. Right now, you just have one short line. Adding a bit more will make the poll even that much better. *Smile*

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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with ♥♥Bear Hugs♥♥  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Review for Joy in conjunction with prize won at "Invalid Item

*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a Kyoka style of poetry about a whale being stranded in an England river.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Wow! What a whale of a tale! *Wink*
I'll have to look this up on the internet because this is something that doesn't happen everyday. I'm curious to learn more about it.

My son and his wife live in London, so I've been to the Thames area many times. It's mindboggling to picture a whale in there! Wow!

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors. I hope you did well in the contest. *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: It was a great idea to add a bit of information about the true event. The bit about how you didn't mean anything bad about the whale was a good idea, too, as we never know what goes through people's heads. *Smile*

I never heard of this style of poetry. I'm glad you also gave an explanation about that.

I'll have to admit, I couldn't help but giggle at the possible reasoning behind the whales' visit to England. Maybe he did want to see some royalty...Or ride on a double-decker bus! LOL That gave your poem a gentle playfulness.

I liked the structure of the poem, which you kept to well. It added to the pleasant style.

The story-poem went on to tell the tale of how the events changed to a darker, more tragic scene. I'm glad the rescuers tried to do what they can to help the whale. They would have all been viewed as heroes had the whale survived. ...Had that been the case, I could picture children's stories, nursery rhymes and movies reenacting the event. *Smile*

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Review of Vegas, Anyone?  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Sun**Rainbowl**Rainbowr**Gold*

*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I liked the way you opened your story by comparing parenting to a Vegas crap shoot. A bold statement like that entices your readers to read more. Tying this into the ending brought perfect closure. You also made your city of Provo sound quite beautiful.

I thought your style of raising questions throughout the story was very creative. Those questions provoked thought without distraction, since you also clearly provided reasoning with your ideas. I felt that you showed a good example of why parenting can't be inherited, since parenting experiences differ between mothers, grandmothers, etc.. Nice work.


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Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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*Note4*I AM REVIEWING YOUR STORY AS A JUDGE FOR "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. THANKS FOR ENTERING!

*Star*This review is an acknowledgment of your contest entry, as well as some of my brief thoughts.

*Exclaim* I'll have to say that I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this story. It was a pleasant surprise to read a well-written and entertaining story which was so outside the box! Writing a 'parenting' story about the parenting of a Basset Hound is certainly creative writing.

I was cracking up through your whole amusing story...Especially because I had a Basset Hound years ago. I think your Boo is much smarter than my Aggie had been!

I loved all the cute poo words! LOL

I could picture her bolting while you were trying to hold the leash and clean up the poo in the middle of the street! ...So funny!



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