I think this write of yours is wonderful. You did a good job of explaining why it is you like the afternoons better. I like the descriptions you used to describe what goes on in the afternoon.
I also have to say I really like the first paragraph. How you describe that others like the morning or night. It doesn't put all the focus on you and actually helps us to understand why you would prefer the afternoon.
I therefore think this is an all around perfect write which needs no changing at all!
Thank you for sharing and keep up the good writing!
mmbabyfac
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I think this could be a very good educational/drama type of story for young teens. I have enjoyed reading this outline and I really think you could do a good job with this.
I have only one suggestion as far as filling in some of the other empty spaces. I think since you said you wanted to write some about the other members you could write about Rowan and Claudia's relationship a little since in your description you say Rowan is arrogant and mean sometimes as well as caring. I think you could do a fight between the two about something stupid and see how the two take the fight and what it does to their relationship.
Other than that I have no other ideas. I hope this helps in some way.
mmbabyface
This is definately a sad little write you have here that so many of us can relate to.
I think you did a good job on expressing your feelings about being ignored and I have to say that As if I don't exist I'm simply air would be the best lines to me, because it tells us exactly what you feel like.
So although I think this write could be a little longer, I still think it speaks volumes about how you feel and I thank you for sharing. Keep on writing!
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I think this is a truely wonderful message.
I agree with everything you have said and although sometimes it's easier said than done, it is all possible if you are really trying.
I think you did great with your description of your opinions in this write. You sound like Dr. Phil
I found no need for any sugestions for I think this write is perfect the way it is and I thank you for sharing.
Please do keep on writing!
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oh this is so sad a write but so very beautiful as well.
You have shown your appriciation and love for your mom in this write and I can definately feel your pain through this.
I think you did a marvolous job in describing your feelings and desires in this write.
I'm so sorry that you and your mother are going through this ordeal.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and please continue to do the same.
mmbabyfac
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Hello smason
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . You have been gifted reviews.
Please know my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed.
Now for your review:
I think you have done a very good job here expressing your opinions on the ways of life for you as well as others.
I think you showed us a strong emotional point of view and I personally think it is very true indeed.
I am glad that you have found the path that you would like to follow in life especially at your age, there are so many still lost that are much older than you.
I do have a few suggestions for you. Now remember these are my opinions only I just feel they might help this write flow a little better
I am not sure if where you ar from they spell realise differently so just in case you do not realize.
Also in your sentence I might be able...as well as fly... you need a space between as and well.
In your sentence I'm happy they are happy doing ... I think it would run a little smoother if you take out the second happy you stress in the rest of your sentence how happy they are.
Also you have two places where you have that that or that that's together. I think you should use that this instead in each one.
Finally in your statement about Canada I think you should put Canada so much instead of that much
I hope you find these suggestions helpful. As I said they are only suggestions in my opinion and this is a good write as is.
I thank you for sharing your opinions and I hope you continue to follow the path you have chosen to follow.
Please keep writing and sharing!
mmbabyfac
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Hello smason
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . You have been gifted reviews.
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions I think might help improve your write. if any at all are needed.
Now for your review:
I think this is a lovely write you have here about the stars.
I think you were very descriptive in explaining what the stars mean to you when you look at them.I like the style you choose to describe your feelings and i think the meter stayed well within your write.
I think you did a good job with the rythme as well.
I found no grammer errors or misspellings either.
So in all i think this is a pretty good write you have here and I thank you for sharing.
Please do continue sharing!
mmbabyfac
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This is definately so true a write you have here! I think this is just beautifully written with a lot of emotion. I would have to say that the 4th stanza speaks to me the loudest with your emotions. As well the last stanza has a lot too, but I like the 4th more.
This is just a suggestion and one that you could use or not and it wouldn't take away from tis write but i think in the second stanza you could use depressed instead of depressing Just try saying it both ways and see which one sounds better to you. Again it is still fine if you leave it the way it is
I have enjoyed another great write from you and i most definatley will come back and visit often.
Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!
mmbabyfac
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This is such a true statement. I have four boys still trick or treating age, well 3 anyway, and I hated going out and seeing all those girls dressed like Brittney and Paris. so sad and what bothered me even more is that they were out there walking the streets door to door alone!
Anyway, i think you did a wonderful job expressing your frustrations and concerns with enough emotion to boot! Thank you for sharing this piece and do keep on writing!
I miss the good old days!
mmbabyfac
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This is a very heart warming write you have here. It is nice to know that all bets turn out for the best sometimes especially when it comes t love.
I think you did a wonderful job here describing your bet and the reasons you won the bet!
I like the style you chose to write this piece in and I think it flowed very nicely with the rhythm you set out to use.
I think this is a very descriptive write that needs no improving upon and I thank you for sharing and please do continue writing!
mmbabyfac
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Hello *~* Judie *~*,
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor . You have been gifted reviews!
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
I do like this write of yours. Being the mother of a child with bipolar disorder as well as a few other things, I find that I think about his future turning out exactly like this write of yours.(personal note)
I like the style you have chosen to write this piece.
I think it stayed well within meter as well.
I think you used wonderful descriptive words to describe the situation at hand and felt this write has a lot of emotion throughout it.
I think you did a wonderful job with the rhythm as well
I found no misspellings or grammer errors either.
Therefore I can not find any thing that needs changing or rewording and I have no suggestions for an already perfect write.
Thank you for sharing and please do keep on writing!
mmbabyfac
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Oh wow, this poem has a lot of emotions raw ones at that! It is a wonderful way to try and start to make up for leaving a child behind and reminding them that you did love him, no matter wat had gone wrong.
I think you did a wonderful job expressing these emotions which is if true I can imagine a very hard thing to write about.
I think this write flowed naturally and the rhythm and meter and style were well kept through out the whole write. I found no misspellings or grammer errors, so in all i think you have the perfect write here and I thank you for sharing!
Please do continue writing and sharing
mmbabyfac
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Hello Charmin,
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
I have really and truly enjoyed this write written for your duaughter!
I think you did a wonderful job expressing your love and devotion to her!
I think this poem flowed very naturally with the rhythm and style as well as the meter!
I think you used beautiful words in this write!
I found no grammer errors or misspellings either!
Therefore I have no suggestions for this already perfectly written write
I thank you for sharing and please do keep on writing!
I hope you have found some help and or encouragement in this review!
mmbabyfac
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Oh this is quit a delicate subject in which you chose to write about. Deppression effects so many people and it is so hard for many to talk about. And your last stanza hit the nail on the head with the reason. It comes out of no where even when your life seems to be going exactly the way you want it to and there are no answers as to why.
I think you did a wonderful job in describing how it feels to be depressed.
Again I feel that it flowed nicely with the style in which you chose to write it.
And I think you used powerful emotional words for descriptions.
At this time I have no suggestions for your write for I feel this one is perfect
Thank you for sharing this piece and please do keep on sharing!
mmbabyfac
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Hello Dave,
my name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions that might help improve your write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
Although once again your write is short, it doesn't take a lot in my opinion to describe your feelings for someone.
I think you did a wonderful job at describing these feelings and I think you used very emotional words.
I like the style you chose and feel that this write flowed naturally with the rhythm.
The meter was also very well done!
I found no grammer errors or misspellings so all in all you have another perfect write that I can not give suggestions for(just kiddin).
I thank you for sharing this romantic little write of yours and please do continue sharing!
I hope you found this review helpful or encouraging in some way!
Again thank you for sharing
mmbabyfac
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Hello Dave,
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
I found tis write of yours very entertaining and a little funny educational
I think you did a wonderful job in such a short amount of words to describe the situation on this day.
Some stories can get right to the point and some should, like if you're wanting to give advise.
I enjoyed the fact that you would actually answer your phone if it said any number. I know I don't
I also like the fact that you went back and realized your misstake, not wearing your glasses or should I say peepers?
I found no grammer errors or misspellings so all in all this is a perfect little write you have here and I have no suggestions for you at this time
Thank you for sharing and do continue writing!
I hope you found this review helpful or at least encouraging in some way
mmbabyfac
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Hello Dave
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only offer suggestions tha t I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed.
Now for your review:
I did find this piece enjoyable. I enjoy good old country stories! especially when describing their real ways of life.
I think you did a good job describing your main character in the beginning and a wonderful way of describing the mishaps this man went through and the way he solved them.
I found no grammer errors or misspellings so in all I have found no need for suggestions on changing or adding to this write
I hope you have found this review helpful or encouraging in some way!
Thank you for sharing and please do continue writing!
mmbabyfac
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Hello again Cubbee
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinion only. I can only offer you suggestions that might help improve your write if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
In my opinion this is a very enjoyable story with a twist in the end. You caught me off guard with this one I like stories with a surprising ending!
I think you did a wonderful job in describing your characters and their surrounds as well as their emotions of the new surrounds they were about to approach.
I think you did a good job writing from a childs point of view as well as the country type point of view of city slickers
I think this story of yours would make a great childrens story as well.
I do however think that even though you said to make a long story short, I would like to have seen just a little more, maybe about the expression on their faces as Nelly came forward.
I also like the part about to make a long story short, explaining that they descided country life was for them and the fact that they eventually had a set of twins of their own
I really think this story is wonderful as is, but could use just a little more just to emphasize the boys city perspectives of the country lives his cousin lead. Of course the story could do with out it as well.
Other than this I found no spelling or grammer errors and I truly enjoyed this write!
I hope this review was helpful or at least a little encouraging
Thank you for sharing your wonderful writes and do please continue writing!
It has been an honor reading some of your works today! I have enjoyed them all!!
mmbabyfac
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Hello Cubbee,
My name is mmbabyfac and I will br reviewing you today from the group "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I hold no degrees in writing. I can only give you suggestions that might help you improve yur write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
I found this piece of yours very enjoyable.
I think you did a wonderful job at describing kayaking. I went once as a child so i know how it is to enjoy the rush
I also think you did a wonderful job in keeping with the rhythm in which you meant to set this write to (Git along little doggies) I was most definately able to say this poem along with that tune
I found no grammer errors or misspellings as well.
Again you used wonderful descriptive words throughout this whole write and I found it fun to read
So I actually feel that there is no suggestions I could give you. When a write is as perfect, it needs no corrections or fiddling with
I hooe you have found this review helpful or at least encouraging
Thank you for sharing and do please continue writing!
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This is a truly sad but lovely write to a friend you wished was more. There is strong emotion in this write, but in my opinion all the emotion is in the last stanza. The last stanza actually speeks the most to me about the true emotions you feel for this person and that you know it will never be anything more. I also like the lines in the second stanza, but find it not as powerful as the last. Your description of the love you feel for this person is well defined in both the second and last stanza though.
Thank you for sharing and do keep writing!
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This write of yours, I feel could be a great story! I think you could actualy add more to it to describe things better, like how you met, where you met, things like that. I enjoyed what you have here.
You did a good job with describing your character as well as your feelings for him.
In the first paragraph I found quit a few misspellings so you might want to go back and read it over. But the second paragraph is much, much better, in every way. This paragraph is what made it the most enjoyable to read, because although you described your feelings in the first paragraph, the second paragraph seems stronger. Please don't take offense to my suggestions. I only want to help you improve this write and make it more enjoyable than it already is.
Please do keep on writing and sharing!
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This story of yours is absolutly perfect!
This is an amazing write you have here!
You have done a wonderful job with the descriptions and characters in this story!
I like how you didn't rush into the hubby and wife finding the santa suit!
It closed out the end perfectly with this candidate winning because of the choice to wear a santa suit. I know i would rather have Santa for President!
Awesome job my friend, and do, do do continue to share with us all!
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Hello again P. Hahn,
Thank you for requesting a review from "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing you today
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only . I do not hold any degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions that I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed.
Now for your review:
I have really enjoyed this piece of yours. It is very emotional and heartwrenching.
It has a lot of sadness in it but a lot of uplifting power to it as well.
This is a write from someone who really cares that someone close to them is hurting and I think you did a wonderful job in describing these feelings.
I like the style you have chosen and the write flows naturally.
I found no misspellings or grammer errors therefore I can not give you advise on how to improve a write I feel is already perfect!
I thank you for sharing this piece and do hope you continue writing and sharing!
I have had a wonderful time raiding your port today and consider it an honor!
I hope you have found my reviews today to be helpful in some way and I hope you have a wonderful day!
KEEP ON SHARING!
mmbabyfac
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Hello P. Hahn,
Thank you for requesting a review from "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing another of your works today.
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I do not hold any degrees in writing. I can only offer you suggestions that might help you improve your write, if any at all are needed.
Now for your review:
I found this write of yours very heartwarming.
Thanksgiving is a time for giving thanks to the wonderful poeple in your life as well as everything you have accomplished and I think you did a wonderful job at expressing your feelings for the people you care about!
I like the style you have chosen to write this piece and I think this write flows naturally with the words you have chosen.
I think this write is also very descriptive in your feelings!
I found no misspellings or grammer errors either.
Therefore I have no suggestions on making a perfect write any better!
I thank you for sharing this wonderful write and do keep on writing and sharing!
mmbabyfac
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Hello phan,
Thank you for requesting a review from "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor
My name is mmbabyfac and I will be reviewing some of your works today!
Please know that my reviews are my personal opinions only. I can only offer you suggestions that I think might help improve your write, if any at all are needed
Now for your review:
I found this write of yours very emotion.
Very sad and it pulled at my heart.
I feel like this write is written for someone who has hurt this person deeply.
I like the style you chose and the meter seems to be off a little but it doesn't effect the meaning you are trying to describe.
You used wonderful words to describe your emotions as well.
My favorite line is: Lighting a match, I stare at the rose with a devil's eye I really like the description of a devil's eye. Nice one there!
I found no grammer errors or misspellings, therefore I only have one suggestion and that is to keep on writing!
Thank you for sharing this write with us and please do continue to share!
mmbabyfac
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I like the style you choose to describe your feelings and i think the meter stayed well within your write.
(just kiddin).
